In Search of Jazz Camp

This is the most lost you've ever been.

It's probably right behind the bushes.

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Start scatting. Listen for the sound of people improvving with you.

Pick mushroom, eat mushroom.

Turn a wild carrot into a clarinet

Whatcha play?

take out a machine gun. it's time to stop futzing with this contrabass shit and just go whole-hog contra on this wilderness' ass

Use your cellphone as a sundial to see how much time you have before it gets dark. You need to make a shelter and survive if you get stuck out here.

Whatcha play?

What's in your bag?

Fifty spoons (in new handy paper note form) and change, the jazz camp brochure, your old music player micro, a well-worn paperback copy of Time Moon and a couple of loose strawberry sherbet sweets are contained within your deceptively deep pockets.

Your backpack contains the instrument chosen for you at your Jazz Initiation Ceremony last week; the Hexaphone, and the equipment required to handle such an item. One of only six ever created it is apparently a massive honour to be selected by such a powerful and challenging instrument.

why aren't you playing the double bass.

It’s not like you got a choice in your instrument. Honestly you’d probably rather be playing the instrument that you can’t accidentally disintegrate yourself with, no matter how huge that instrument might be.

>Why did you come to jazz camp?

Your parents insisted that you fulfil your destiny or something. You’re not really convinced, but at this point you’re almost there and it’s got to be better than living wild in the woods for the summer.

> Did you check again in the GPS app?

In terms of navigational equipment you have this map that appears to have been drawn by a five year old and that is it. Jazz Camp has a strict ban on technology; it apparently interferes with the jazz energies or something. Even your old music player mini is probably pushing it to be the honest.

> Call upon the powers of Miles Davis to guide you!

There are a couple of problems with this course of action. Firstly you’re not sure if calling upon the spirits of famous jazz musicians is even a Thing. Secondly you’re certain that you’re not experienced enough to manage this potentially impossible feat. Thirdly you’re not really sure who Miles Davis is. You conjure the image of a generic Jazzman and bellow into the uncaring wilderness: “Save me Miles Davis.”

It’s difficult to tell how effective this was.

Start scatting. Listen for the sound of people improvving with you.

Your efforts only attract a sweethart. It really seems to enjoy your clumsy vocal improvisation. Though you appreciate the appreciation the candy deer only makes you aware of how hungry you are after the hours spent traipsing through this forest.

Pick mushroom, eat mushroom.

>Those mushrooms look edible

What a great idea. Mushrooms are natural which pretty much guarantees they’re gonna be good for you.



After a single bite you decide you’ve had enough. It’s not like it was a terrible horrible mistake or anything, it’s just… you’re full now. Obviously.

That's an unusually tall toadstool.

Yeah.



You touch the toadstool in a bid to further investigate this clearly important mystery and are surprised to discover that it is made of metal. That’s weird, right? You’re not a fungus expert or anything but you’re pretty sure that’s not normal.

Trip on mushroom.

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> Look for more metallic flora

See if it pulls or twists or something

name sweethart "Miles Davis"

lick sweethart

Tame sweetheart with mushrooms.

>Ignore sudden urge to pray to jazz gods
>Don't eat canedeer

Well, I dreamed about metallic mushrooms last night. I think this adventure is a success.