IRC highlights!

oh god, we have slack-style reactions now?

sbnkalny - Today at 2:41 AM
That doesn't tell you they love you too. so fucking dead. all the gods, everyone. dead. the backlight and touchpad no longer work.

you know, it's really good to be able to look back at yourself 3 years ago and say "what an idiotic asshole"

that's my personal metric of growth

Chwoka you are a sage.

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<seedy> the real question is which gb character would make sweet sundae ramen
<Schazer> picture: Huebert whipping one up for Tor maintaing it's a traditional food where he comes from
<Schazer> Jetsam looks on like "do I intervene"
<Pharmacy> omg.
<Schazer> Tor is following the process with ever-increasing disgust and looking to Jetsam for confirmation and the due's just like "m8 ive seen some shit and this doesn't even register"
<Pharmacy> had jetsam ever ate a sundae ramen in his countless lifetimes
<Schazer> I'm gonna say no
<Schazer> he'd just eat the noodles raw then down each ingredient in turn
<seedy> JESUS
<seedy> fhvgyk im imagining him eating the dry noodles and then drinking boiling water
<Schazer> huebert's chuckling to himself like "oh man I should make on for TinTen too it's his fave wait where's my second pack of ramen gone"
<Pharmacy> jetsam snorting up the flavor packet like cocaine
<Pharmacy> "its how I feel alive, tor"
<Schazer> TinTen left the building as soon as Huebert asked where they keep the whipped cream
<Schazer> Tor won't touch it, Huebert cannot be goaded into actually eating his awful creation
<Schazer> someone suggests giving it to Velobo to eat and Jetsam has to really, reaaaally think on it before he eventually says "... no"
<seedy> [scofflaw voice] and you say I'M the monster
<seedy> velobo would probably like it
<Schazer> He asks for seconds and Huebert has to explain they can't do round 2 because Jetsam has been taking shotglasses full of caramel+hot fudge this whole time
<Schazer> (Scofflaw joined in partway through)
<Schazer> and they just downed the lat of the bottle's contents
<Schazer> they're just sitting at the breakfast bar locking eyes with each other, not blinking as they take turns kicking this liquid bullshit back
<Pharmacy> god, jetsam is a disaster
<Schazer> I think by his standards this whole sccenario is actually him doing pretty well

Sanzh - Today at 7:26 PM
i'm an anime socialist now

Stovie - Today at 7:26 PM
notices your means of production
owo

Sanzh - Today at 7:28 PM
workers of the world unite, nyah

Yes it's long, but the end is worth it

[5:51 AM] Ixcaliber: sruix when you initiated this conversation i made some assumptions that may or may not be accurate
[5:53 AM] Sruixan: that's fine
[5:53 AM] Sruixan: you were not provided with full information
[5:53 AM] Ixcaliber: can i be
[5:53 AM] Ixcaliber: i like having all the information
[5:55 AM] Sruixan: well
[5:55 AM] Sruixan: what info would you like
[5:56 AM] Ixcaliber: what do you want to word
[5:56 AM] Ixcaliber: and how
[5:56 AM] Sruixan: well see I feel the time for worrying about the absence of milk has passed
[5:56 AM] Ixcaliber: ohhh
[5:57 AM] Ixcaliber: oh i forgot
[5:57 AM] Ixcaliber: thanks for the reminder
[5:58 AM] Sruixan: np
[5:59 AM] Ixcaliber: i can't believe you snuck into my adventure in the past and wasted milk
[5:59 AM] Ixcaliber: thats dedication
[5:59 AM] Sruixan: well look there was a time machine
[5:59 AM] Sruixan: and a bottle of milk
[5:59 AM] Sruixan: need I say more?
[6:00 AM] Ixcaliber: when you put it like that it seems difficult not to waste milk
[6:00 AM] Sruixan: frankly I'm amazed any milk ever manages to make it into the bottles in the first place
[6:01 AM] Ixcaliber: not if you had anything to do with it
[6:02 AM] Sruixan: but alas, I am but one man, and there are many cows
[6:02 AM] Ixcaliber: okay but
[6:03 AM] Ixcaliber: please continue milk wasting it's much more wholesome than the bad mental images i'm getting of you trying to milk prevent
[6:03 AM] Sruixan: ix is that you advocating that I waste milk
[6:03 AM] Sruixan: (albeit in preference to an admissably unsavoury alternative)
[6:04 AM] Ixcaliber: lesser of two evils sitch
[6:05 AM] Sruixan: very well
[6:06 AM] Ixcaliber: glad thats sorted
[6:06 AM] Sruixan: I am trying to write this out and am maybe laughing slightly too much
[6:07 AM] Sruixan: but I shall stick to squandering milk that is not in its original container
[6:07 AM] Ixcaliber: grateful
[6:09 AM] Sruixan: I mean a time machine would appear to be involved now I could nip back in time and stop myself from partaking in any other kind of lactic misuse
[6:10 AM] Ixcaliber: i'm becoming less and less clear about your end goal
[6:11 AM] Sruixan: I'm not wholly convinced I have one
[6:11 AM] Sruixan: especially given that my original idea, way back in the mists of time, was to not waste milk
[6:12 AM] Ixcaliber: i'm pretty sure your goal has consistently been to waste milk sruix
[6:14 AM] Sruixan: I vehemently deny that this has always been my goal
[6:14 AM] Ixcaliber: always looking to waste the milk
[6:14 AM] Ixcaliber: thats what they say about sruixan
[6:15 AM] Ixcaliber: oh that lovable scamp
[6:15 AM] Ixcaliber: but do hide your milk
[6:15 AM] Ixcaliber: this is verbatim btw
[6:15 AM] Ixcaliber: i asked them and this is what they told me
[6:16 AM] Sruixan: they sound like a perfectly lovely person, but I fear they labour under the misapprehension that I am in any way a threat to their stock of milk
[6:16 AM] Ixcaliber: they hoard their milk close to them when you pass in the street
[6:16 AM] Sruixan: I feel like the scribe of history has not been kind to me
[6:17 AM] Ixcaliber: probably because you wasted his milk
[6:17 AM] Ixcaliber: people don't like it when you do that
[6:17 AM] Sruixan: and that the stories that are told of me, be they myths, legends, or fairytales, severely misrepresent my stance on milk consumption or lack thereof
[6:19 AM] Ixcaliber: i dunno sruix do you have any evidence that you don't waste milk
[6:20 AM] Sruixan: ...do I have to, like, provide photographic evidence
[6:20 AM] Ixcaliber: yes
[6:20 AM] Ixcaliber: please provide photographic evidence that definitively proves you've never intentionally wasted milk
[6:21 AM] Sruixan: see I have issues with the "never" bit
[6:21 AM] Ixcaliber: aha!
[6:21 AM] Ixcaliber: i knew you'd wasted milk
[6:21 AM] Ixcaliber: and this is the proof
[6:21 AM] Sruixan: that is not what I meant
[6:21 AM] Sruixan: I simply wished to note the difficulty in providing photographs of events that occurred in the sufficiently distant past
[6:21 AM] Sruixan: oh wait
[6:21 AM] Sruixan: time machine
[6:21 AM] Sruixan: duh
[6:22 AM] Ixcaliber: you've got almost all the tools necessary to pull this one off
[6:23 AM] Ixcaliber: you've got a camera to take pictures a time machine to go back to take the pictures shame you've not got the willpower to not waste the milk
[6:23 AM] Sruixan: do I have the willpower to trawl through nearly twenty-three years worth of milk consumption events
[6:24 AM] Sruixan: like I suppose I can skip a fair chunk of the beginning
[6:24 AM] Ixcaliber: thats fair
[6:24 AM] Sruixan: or at the very least I would like to skip a fair chunk of the beginning
[6:24 AM] Ixcaliber: you can only waste milk when you have the intention of doing so
[6:25 AM] Ixcaliber: also yes i was trying not to think too hard about the specifics of young sruixan milk wastage
[6:25 AM] Ixcaliber: i'll give you the benefit of the doubt there
[6:28 AM] Sruixan: ix as delightful as this is I have a class in half an hour and could do with eating something between now and then
[6:28 AM] Ixcaliber: go for it
[6:28 AM] Ixcaliber: enjoy a food
[6:28 AM] Sruixan: I have also made a cup of tea
[6:28 AM] Sruixan: using an appropriate amount of milk
[6:29 AM] Ixcaliber: sruix we both know you can still waste that milk by not drinking the cup of tea
...
[8:40 AM] Sruixan: ix I am back from my class and I have a question
[8:40 AM] Ixcaliber: hi sruix
[8:40 AM] Sruixan: I already know the answer, I'll admit
[8:40 AM] Ixcaliber: is it about how reliable i am
[8:41 AM] Sruixan: in this particular instance you were extremely reliable
[8:41 AM] Ixcaliber: okay cool so whats up
[8:41 AM] Sruixan: At what point did you change my role?
[8:42 AM] Akumu: lol
[8:42 AM] Ixcaliber: when you reminded me
[8:42 AM] Sruixan: so I spent like an hour
[8:42 AM] Sruixan: arguing that I was not in the slightest bit a "Milk Waster"
[8:42 AM] Sruixan: whilst under the official title of "Milk Waster"
[8:42 AM] Ixcaliber: mhm
[8:43 AM] Ixcaliber: it was very much undermining your particular argument
[8:44 AM] Sruixan: well, quite

karkat is a tankie akumu wtf

<Mraof> I'm Mraof
<DragonFogel> You're Mraof.
<Mr Mysterio> you're Mroaf?
<Mraof> No I'm Mraof

Half sad half dad
All aesthetic

ftr when i think of mr. wilson i think of this

sbnkalny:

"666 hours of sleep is healthy sbnkalny put lizards in mail slots"

SpoilerShow

I'll be honest, schaz negaTor is a fuckboy

<wickered [sic]> important question for the crew
<wickered [sic]> how many crotches does a dog have
<Mirdini> I say 0 crotches
<wickered [sic]> that's crotch erasure
<Mirdini> bc the dictionary definition defines the crotch as a human thing
<wickered [sic]> there's at least one
<wickered [sic]> I woould posit up to four
<wickered [sic]> deens is so upset by this
<Plaid> You dont call an armpit a crotch
<Plaid> They have one
<flowercuco> i dont
<flowercuco> i dont think i want this
<Plaid> But by all means keep fucking with markus lol
<Mirdini> stop
<flowercuco> im scared of this conversation
<flowercuco> why did you let this converstation happen
<Mirdini> there were some dogs being embroidered
<wickered [sic]> a crotch is the point between two legs right
<wickered [sic]> so there's definitely one
<Mirdini> and schaz was embroidering up the side of a dog leg
<Mirdini> and here we are
<Mirdini> "the part of the human body between the legs where they join the torso."
<Mirdini> /human body/
<wickered [sic]> Give! Dogs! Crotches!
<Plaid> I would have said the donger zone
<Mirdini> dogs get to have groins, but not crotches
<Mirdini> imho
<Plaid> But sure
<Pharmacy> God you guys
<fjacquerel> it's important to know this if you're embroidering a dog, because how else will you know when to use crotch-stitch?
<Plaid> Ren: i would say two
<wickered [sic]> THANK YOU REN
<wickered [sic]> front crotch and back crotch
<Mirdini> pharms what is your opinion
<Mirdini> you are a fellow dog scholar
<wickered [sic]> and for your consideration: left crotch and right crotch
<wickered [sic]> actually jac i'm using running stitch
<wickered [sic]> cuz they're legs
<Mirdini> @diabolicCarcharodon bc you're online
<fjacquerel> makes sense
<Plaid> "As much as i think armpit hair and pubic hair are the same thing... not quite"
<wickered [sic]> yeahbut a dog's front limbs aren't arms
<Pharmacy> Mirdini I think I'll not say :p
<Mirdini> cowardly
<wickered [sic]> Pharms is bipartisan
<diabolicCarcharodon> imo, dogs have one crotch
<diabolicCarcharodon> crotch is just The Genitals Zone
<fjacquerel> maybe the answer is in the middle
<Mirdini> pharms is a dog crotch centrist
<fjacquerel> 1.5 crotches
<wickered [sic]> I dunno why you gotta shove genitals in there
<diabolicCarcharodon> no jac that's where the nips go
<Plaid> :wink:
<wickered [sic]> I feel like the two concepts can bbe mututally exclusive
<diabolicCarcharodon> i mean okay say we're looking at like, an artist's manikin, or a non-sex robot
<diabolicCarcharodon> does that have a crotch
<wickered [sic]> or a dog's ffront legs
<diabolicCarcharodon> or merely a pelvis
<diabolicCarcharodon> i say, it is merely a pelvis
<Mirdini> thanks maxie, or thaxie
<diabolicCarcharodon> sans the bits it is hardly a crotch
<diabolicCarcharodon> welc
<wickered [sic]> does a pair of pants have a crotch? Yes
<Mirdini> if a dog has a crotch because we're expanding the definition beyond human anatomy
<Mirdini> then I would agree a dog has 1 crotch
<wickered [sic]> does a pair of pants have tightie whitie genitalia? hell no
<Plaid> How do the left and right crotches wear pants
<fjacquerel> is the inverse crotch on the inside of the pants also a crotch or is it some kind of negative crotch
<Plaid> Like this or like this
<Mirdini> a pair of pants has a crotch bc it's usually covering the crotch zone
<wickered [sic]> love the cronch, hate the crotch
<Pharmacy> Assless chaps
<wickered [sic]> crotchless chats
<Plaid> Im not deep enough into my vodka for this

does crotchedness affect how a dog would wear pants, or does how a dog would wear pants affect crotchedness

sbnkalny
"Helen has hit critical mass of eagles"

we have to find helen. She's been stealing our eagles!

buhtehpah: So I am in Alaska
buhtehpah: Staying at an Airbnb in Anchorage
buhtehpah: And the folks here seem very nice, good reviews
buhtehpah: But...they did hide a horror painting in our room
buhtehpah: Just a run of the mill horror girl picture
buhtehpah: You know the kind you hide in a room your guests are staying in

buhtehpah: I was looking at photos of their very good dog
buhtehpah: But then we saw a scary fang girl out of the corner of our eyes


buhtehpah: Here is a better picture.

buhtehpah: And now my phone is infected with the curse of the blood eye girl

buhtehpah: All the normal things in this picture
buhtehpah: Lint roller
buhtehpah: Globe
buhtehpah: Dog in sunglasses
buhtehpah: Death spirit bound to this realm by a cursed canvas
buhtehpah: Jackie thinks it might be a "The Ring" situation where we have to make a copy of the bad death painting to avoid a horror murder senario.
buhtehpah: Which is nice because we have been wanting to go on one of those painting dates.

DragonFogel: I hope it's not one of those things where you curse everyone you show it to.
buhtehpah: Oh yeah that would be terrible. A real 1062 that painting.

buhtehpah: Now, the real question is, do we mention the terror painting to our Airbnb hosts?
DragonFogel: Well, to do that first you have to work out what kind of horror movie you're in.
DragonFogel: In most scenarios, either they're cultists feeding their guests to the painting spirit, or the painting will mysteriously vanish any time you try to show it to them and they'll think you're crazy.
buhtehpah: I'm just glad you're able to see it! The "only I can see it and it starts to show up more frequently as I travel around" was my first thought.
buhtehpah: But that does score a point for the cultists feeding the painting spirit idea.
buhtehpah: At least we only have like 2 hours of kinda darkness going on now.
buhtehpah: Summer solstice is not really the best scenario for a spooky scary to happen
--------------------
buhtehpah: Well I woke up and haven't had my soul sucked out - maybe.
buhtehpah: Perhaps the photo of that cool dog in sunglasses acted as a ward during the night.

Pharmacy - Today at 12:59 AM
Oh well. I just hope every future post will make me older and wiser
Although the concept of finishing a battle at 50 is vaguely terrifying
Mirdini - Today at 1:00 AM
Pass ur battles on to ur grandkids
Pharmacy - Today at 1:01 AM
Pharmacy jr...finish this post lest the curse of the pen befouls our family line.
Dramatically hands down a sword
Mirdini - Today at 1:02 AM
Dramatically hands down keyboard and forums pw
Pharmacy the 5th, Do You Pledge To Uphold The Battlers' Code?
Pharmacy - Today at 1:02 AM
Paladin of unfinished roleplays is a great concept

Fogel tries to tell a joke, we make a mess.

[9:58 PM] DragonFogel: I'm reminded of an extended joke.
[9:58 PM] DragonFogel: How do you fit an elephant in the refrigerator?
[9:58 PM] a52: uh oh...
[9:58 PM] DragonFogel: You take everything out and put the elephant in there.
[9:58 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): i have question
[9:58 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): what if your refigerator cannot hold one (1) elephant
[9:59 PM] a52: elephants are pretty big
[9:59 PM] a52: and what about shelves?
[9:59 PM] DragonFogel: I'll take your questions when I'm finished explaining.
[9:59 PM] DragonFogel: How do you fit a giraffe in the refrigerator?
[9:59 PM] Kíeros: You take the elephant out, and put the giraffe in
[9:59 PM] DragonFogel: Very good, Kieros.
[10:00 PM] DragonFogel: Now, the Lion, in his role as the king of the jungle, has called a meeting for all the animals. Which animal does not go to the meeting?
[10:00 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): you can spell girafe with the letters from refrigerator
[10:00 PM] Kíeros: The giraffe, they were in the fridge.
[10:00 PM] DragonFogel: Correct!
[10:00 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): you can also spell grrrafe
[10:01 PM] DragonFogel: Final question. You come to a river that is home to a number of crocodiles. There is no bridge. How do you get across?
[10:01 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): you make a rebridgerator
[10:01 PM] a52: dammit
[10:01 PM] Kíeros: 0ω0
[10:01 PM] a52: I was going to make a simi pun
[10:02 PM] a52: similar
[10:02 PM] a52: you beat me though
[10:02 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): i apologize a52
[10:02 PM] DragonFogel: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting.
[10:02 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): i just had to
[10:02 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): oh, right
[10:02 PM] DragonFogel: Does that help you think about how to handle your adventure, Kaynato?
[10:02 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): can my question be answered now
[10:02 PM] DragonFogel: The answer is, you get a bigger refrigerator.
[10:02 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): i dont need a bigger refrigerator
[10:03 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): the elephant does not need to be in my fridge
[10:03 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): he has his own life
[10:03 PM] DragonFogel: But then how is he going to give his report on how cold it is inside the refrigerator at the meeting?
[10:04 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): why is that a focus of the meeting
[10:04 PM] DragonFogel: Don't ask me, I'm not the King of the Jungle.
[10:04 PM] a52: what do you call a crocodile in a freezer
[10:04 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): wouldnt the carnivores eat the herbivores in the meeting
[10:04 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): a crocodicicle?
[10:04 PM] DragonFogel: They have respect for protocol.
[10:05 PM] a52: a refrigergator
[10:05 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): gosh darnit a52 thats so good
[10:05 PM] a52: :crocodile:
[10:05 PM] DragonFogel: I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't eat the other attendees when I go to meetings.
[10:05 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): :snowflake: :crocodile:
[10:06 PM] a52: but the difference is you wouldn't eat them when you're out of the meeting either
[10:06 PM] gloomyMoron: Frog and the Scorpion, Fogel.
[10:07 PM] DragonFogel: The lion is very clear on this, if you eat other attendees you don't get donuts.
[10:07 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): but animals dont eat donuts
[10:07 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): they eat other animals (or plants)
[10:07 PM] Kíeros: But... I eat donuts.
[10:07 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): jungle animals
[10:07 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): dont eat donuts
[10:07 PM] Kíeros: I could have sworn I was an animal
[10:08 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): where does the lion even get the donuts
[10:08 PM] Kíeros: 7-11
[10:08 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): jungle 7/11???
[10:08 PM] a52: humans are plains animals not jungles animals
[10:08 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): lions dont even ive in the jungle.
[10:08 PM] DragonFogel: You've only never seen them eat donuts because you've never seen them at a meeting.
[10:08 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): they live in the savannah.
[10:09 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): nor do elephants, or giraffes
[10:09 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): or refrigerators
[10:09 PM] DragonFogel: See, the refrigerator has to be big enough to hold all the donuts for that many animals.
[10:09 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): right...
[10:19 PM] a52: wild refrigerator in the african savannah
[10:20 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): needs to be bigger
[10:20 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): to fit an elephant
[10:20 PM] diggity dogi (spümpkin): apparently
[10:20 PM] gloomyMoron: It's a baby
[10:20 PM] a52: that's how big they get.
[10:20 PM] a52: no bigger
[10:22 PM] a52: here's a picture we got when an elephant walked into frame immediately afterwards:
[10:22 PM] a52:
[10:23 PM] a52: clearly far too big to ever fit into a refrigerator
[10:23 PM] a52: which is probably a good thing
[10:23 PM] DragonFogel: Well it definitely won't with all those donuts in there.
[10:23 PM] a52: if they were about the same size you'd probably get all these half-refrigerator half-elephant crossbreeds
[10:23 PM] gloomyMoron: Refrigerators are bigger on the inside than the outside. They're extradimensional
[10:24 PM] AmosXSalazzle: Maybe you can get a shrink ray an shrink the elephant down?
[10:24 PM] a52: since they're both large and grey they could easily confuse each other for potential mates

[8:06 AM] Mamylon: The Coconut Blade
[8:06 AM] DragonFogel: If it stabs ya, it's gonna hurt.

Schaxe( murdere)r - Today at 2:23 AM
I have been described as dressing like a shitpost so it's accurate

Awful Hospital - Today at 2:24 AM
Living the dream
Fashion is about statement right

Schaxe( murdere)r - Today at 2:24 AM
Yeah but my statement is often "pffffffbt"

Ok nvm its definitely not worth it but it was a valuable learning experience that I'll probably forget