ZooStuck 4: ZooStuck Mafia - Day 10: Murder Production Substantially Up

1. So if one could make one of them into a pun during an explanation, then that would be...
   
   Prime reasoning

Unlynch Kieros

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If two more people no lynch, we'll be at 10

ok sure whatever vote no lynch

Yes These Votes Are Correct

No Lynch - 8 (Akumu, Schazer, Wheat, Reyweld, earthexe, Not The Author, Robust Laser, Shredded)
Reyweld - 1 (Shredded)
Fogel - 1 (Kieros)
Mirdini - 1 (Para)
The Concept of Lynching - 1 (DS Piron)
The Knife - 1 (Sruixan)

Deadline is Wednesday, September 28 at 8 PM Mountain time.
With 19 alive, it takes 10 to lynch and 6 to soft-lynch.

I decided not to count No Launch separately from No Lynch but I could if requested.

"wait but..."

ok fine

Huh. Well.

vote: Robust Laser for clearly preventing me from No Lynching

Why Do I Do These Titles, I Always Run Out Of Ideas

No Lynch - 8 (Akumu, Schazer, Wheat, Reyweld, earthexe, Not The Author, Robust Laser, Shredded)
Robust Laser - 1 (qwerx3)
Reyweld - 1 (Shredded)
Fogel - 1 (Kieros)
Mirdini - 1 (Para)
The Concept of Lynching - 1 (DS Piron)
The Knife - 1 (Sruixan)

Deadline is Wednesday, September 28 at 8 PM Mountain time.
With 19 alive, it takes 10 to lynch and 6 to soft-lynch.

Um, um. This got, um, nonviolent, real fast. Um. Does anyone remember what we, um, as a corporation, um, did? Um.

Does anyone know where we, um, put the jet? Is this election time? Um, should I protest vote? Um. I should, um. I guess, um. Time is of the essence. Um.

Vote: No Lynch

I'd also like to, um, vote for the motion to suspend the restriction against Fogel's ability to vote. Because, um. I think that's, um, a triple negative? Um.

Wait wait wait except don't wait just tell me right dang away why in the trailblazing hell you want the omnipotent soul of our maligned yet still-shambling source of employment to have a say???? In proceedings???? Let's just make a to burn all our holdings and send 'em on up to the great ceo in the sky and you ex-shareholders can all watch it restructure itself, feeling kinda voyeuristic as you gaze upon its fiscal contortions til its sloughed off its ethical excesses.

You lot can cuss around doing that for the <undefined> number of days until the world ends, unless it doesn't do that in which case you can thank me. No need to say it out loud just say it with flowers and maybe some shares to companies that don't suck in the attached thank-you note? I'll delegate that to you corprolites, I've got demons to be fending off and hours to spend conscious and suffering and being the go-getter this company needed but never budgeted for BYE

@Schazer Who won the energy drinks competition?

Lynch: The last two days of all the next phases, because it's too goddamm long

Did anyone other than NTA offer a pitch with the consistency of anything but? Non?

Bring to me your tepid custard pitches, your oily dressing-down pitches, pitches aslither and pitches atwitter, may the pitches all line up

anything but pitches like tar dripping inexorably as to stain my dehydrated ears below

One Way or Another, It's All Over Soon

No Lynch - 9 (Akumu, Schazer, Wheat, Reyweld, earthexe, Not The Author, Robust Laser, Shredded, AgentBlue)
Robust Laser - 1 (qwerx3)
Reyweld - 1 (Shredded)
Fogel - 1 (Kieros)
Mirdini - 1 (Para)
The Concept of Lynching - 1 (DS Piron)
The Knife - 1 (Sruixan)
The last two days of the remaining phases - 1 (a52)

Deadline is Wednesday, September 28 at 8 PM Mountain time; approximately 5 hours from now.
With 19 alive, it takes 10 to lynch and 6 to soft-lynch.

Vote: still no lynch

Night falls. After a long meeting that feels like it took more than a week, the conclusion settled on is to do nothing at all.

In other words, a standard meeting.

The corporation calls the day's events to a close, and everyone goes to their own corner to do whatever it is they do.

Everyone who has night actions, please get them in promptly.

In case anyone is unfamiliar with the rules: no talking in the thread at night. Exceptions may exist, but if they ever apply to you then you'll be notified in your quicktopic.

SUP LOSERS GUESS WHO'S DOING SICK STUNTS OFF THE BOARDROOM TABLE IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT

How is there a day/night cycle in an endless expanse of nonexistence, anyway? I mean, I guess clocks would run as normal and most people would probably become tired as their biorhythms beat, but... Eh, 'sprobably moot.

What're we up to this questionably-measurable evening, then?

Ok buddy so when I was talking about the world ending I didn't mean that in some kind of hypobolic conniptions over the fate of this company, which I could give few fucks about. Don't tell that to the rest of the board though cool?

I picked you out because you were the only one with any appreciable aspirations outside normal waking hours, implying you might have an actual non-financial personal stake in the world continuing to exist.

We can borrow the company jet for a jaunt later tonight if you help me out: Do you know anything about apocalypses? Would you know the first damn thing about preventing the utter destruction of All There Is?

Uh, shoot, not, uh. Not really, no. I was actually going to suggest, since we're in apparently in an endless void in which naught but The Company exists, that, since categorically nowhere exists for the jet to fly to, we might repurpose it and strap the turbines to our little crumb of causality and putter the whole thing around.

Still nowhere for it to go, per se, but it made sense for a fraction of a second. Might be able to outrun the end of all things, depending on the nature of the calamity, and since we would in part survive that would technically prevent the end of literally all things... But I get the impression that, even in the subset of cases that could actually theoretically work, it's not a solution in the sense that you're after.

That said! Since all that exists currently is The Company, if The Company ended, then all things would end. Could relate to the whole conspiracy Thing floating around-- if a sufficient number of shareholders with a shared goal got sufficient control of sufficient shares, they'd functionally have control over all existence. Leave it the speck of former glory it currently is, remake it in their image, destroy it outright, the possibilities are... theoretically endless; I dunno how it'd work in practice. But it fits the facts so far, I think?

Which means-- if that theory holds-- you'd need to get shares out of the hands of anyone who would will total existential annihilation. However, removing shares from anyone else would theoretically strengthen the position of the apocalypts. That's a word, right? Sure. So you'd gotta be careful before taking any drastic action, I think.

just my imo tho

yeah nah the dark forces appear to be extraplanar in nature, at least based on my limited options to stave off annihilation.

What's your deal anyhow? Did it turn out you didn't have much going on beyond your boardroom seat other than wanting to take the jet for a spin, because maybe we should just go do that then and I see if there's anyone more up my alley tomorrow night.

Darn. Thought I was on to something there.

<huff>

Way back when I joined up, I'd meant to do right by my folks back home. Business things got in the way, though, an' I guess I lost sight of that somewhere down the line. Nothing I can really do all that much about in the here and now, I guess.

Still, if you can figure out a way to stave off armageddon, I can at least visit them again when thisall is over, right? 'Sbeen too long. I mean, I'll do what I can to help, but, not sure what that is, realistically. Outside-a morale support, anyhow. Which. I am also. Not very good at. Uh.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I'll keep an eye out for others who could help, I guess...?

<sigh>

But yes, the jet! Assuming it exists, we can find it, and one of us can pilot it, yeah! 'Stake if for a spin around the existentially-dubious block.