Swamped

Why did you come here?

You've survived a grueling four-day carriage ride to the edge of a filthy swamp, just to wait another three hours for a barge to take you to the marginally-less-filthy barracks that you'll be living in for the next six months.

And it's not as if you'll really be able to rest in those barracks. Thankfully, as a new recruit, you won't see combat duty unless there's an emergency. But you'll still be living in a warzone, and a warzone filled with ferocious swamp-beasts at that.

The smell alone gives you plenty of cause for regret. You thought all the stories were exaggerating the stench, but if anything, they were understating its potency.

You consider telling the carriage driver to take you back. Indeed, he looks like he's expecting you to ask him at any minute. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't think you have what it takes to last here, and frankly, you have to admit he has a point.

But you also know that you can't turn back. You came here for a reason, after all.

Why have you come to this swamp?

Discussion thread here.

you came to this swamp to accumulate enough swamp stench such that when you return home, you'll be so permanently stinky that Arnold Meanmuck won't bully you in the high school cafeteria anymore

nobody knows. war is hell

The last time anyone saw your father he was eloping with a brilliant emerald swamp beast.

You got drafted, duh.

to find a new pet rat named Jinger

You won something cool in a raffle and this is where they said to pick up your prize.

You got drafted, duh.

your perfume line was sanctioned by the government to manufacture toxins instead of perfume and this is where they sent you to gather samples.

> You were just really tired and overworked. So much so, one could say that you were...

Overloaded. With work. Uh... yeah.

You think back on your father's obsessions with the swamp. He seemed convinced there was some great treasure in its depths, and would regularly spend hours reading from one of his many tomes on its mysteries before disappearing into his laboratory to conduct some bizarre and generally foul-smelling experiment.

When he disappeared, the neighbors liked to joke that he had run off and left his husband for a swamp beast. Much as their taunting bothered you, sometimes you can't help but wonder if that's what actually happened.

So now that you're of age, you've signed up to join the Bogknights so that you can see the swamp for yourself. If your father is still alive, surely this is where he ended up. Even if not, you might be able to learn more about the treasure he was looking for.

As you reflect on this, you hear a loud horn. The barge has finally arrived.

"Last chance," the driver mutters. "I'm leaving now, and it's up to you whether you come with me."

You already know the answer to that. You wish him a safe journey home. He laughs before riding off.

The barge drops its ramp, and two young Bogknights rush down to start grabbing the supply crates. You decide to help out; might as well give a good first impression.

"No need for that," a voice calls from the top of the ramp. You look up and see a gray-haired woman walking down. "You've had a long enough journey already, and you'll have few chances to rest once training starts. Best to take the chance to relax while you still have it."

She walks over to you and extends her hand. You shake it a bit awkwardly.

"I'm Sergeant Vera Greenwoods. I'll be overseeing your training. Now, if we were any good at keeping track of these things, I'd probably know your name already, but sadly I don't. Only got told we'd be having a new recruit with this month's supplies. So, what's your name in case I have to yell orders at you on the way back to base?"

What is your name?

you don't have a name

Marshall.

Marshall.

that's your rank

"My name is Pleasename, the Marshal of Nonswampville"

Marshall.

that's your rank

you're rank for suppositing a bunch of military experience on this newbie

#notallmarshes

You're an honorary marshal thanks to your family's political connections and to honor your missing father. He was a "real credit to the nation," by which they mean had some nasty dirt on your monarch and which everyone assumed was in your possession as well. You technically outrank the grand poobah of the Bogknights, but naturally you wouldn't ever want to try to pull rank given your downright hilarious lack of military acumen.

Marshall.

that's your rank

you're rank for suppositing a bunch of military experience on this newbie

#notallmarshes

yeah well you're a suppository

Marshall.

that's your rank

you're rank for suppositing a bunch of military experience on this newbie

#notallmarshes

yeah well you're a suppository

up yours

Marshall.

Marshall.

that's your rank

you're rank for suppositing a bunch of military experience on this newbie

#notallmarshes

yeah well you're a suppository

up yours

Marsha.

"Marshall," you say. "Just Marshall. No surname."

"Ah, you must be from one of the outer villages then."

You nod quietly. You don't see a need to explain that you chose not to take your missing father's surname; what difference would it even make?

"Not a problem. We don't have any other Marshalls, and even if we did we've got a system for that sort of thing. Still, probably just as well you're not another Tom."

She points to the boat.

"There's a bench there. Not the most comfortable of places, but you take what you can get in the swamp. We'll handle the loading while you rest up. You're going to need your strength for training tomorrow."

You thank her, and climb up the ramp. As soon as you see the bench, you sit down. It's not very comfortable, but after four days sitting in that carriage, you're just glad for the change.

You sit quietly as the knights finish packing up the supplies. You consider napping, but the sound of jaws snapping shut in the distance persuades you against it. Instead, you just sit and watch as the barge finally departs.

The voyage doesn't last long before you hear a loud bump, a bell chiming, and a few choice curses from the sergeant. It seems the boat's hit something.

"Enemy's set up a blockade. We'll have to change routes, and hope we can get away before the raiding party arrives." The sergeant glances at you. "Marshall. Get below deck and hide. You're in no shape to fight."

Are you following that order? Or is there something else you think you can do?

you're just gonna freeze in place and stand there with a dumb look on your face

Go below deck and hide in that mysterious glowing box that no one has had time to warn you about yet

> Yep. Hiding equals not dying and not dying is a great thing right now.