GreyGabe' WebQue t [Texting, Texting, 123]

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I guess this one won't make much sense if/when certain people change their avatars. Oh well. Suck it, posterity.

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I, personally, will keep googly eyes on all my Eagle Time avatars just so this will always make sense~

> Eavesdrop at one of the Game Houses to see if you can hear any FISH STORIES.

> Suddenly, gunfire from a fancy spa!

>Open the box, obviously!

Yes of course this is the most obvious thing to do. Why didn’t you do it in the first place?
You dig the Odd Box out of your inventory and check it for any obvious traps. Nothing. No locks, either. Shrugging, you pop the lid open. There is an audible click before everything goes… green.

You are hit in the face with a cloud of thick, green dust. It coats your face, hair, and most of your shirt. It’s thick and slightly oily, making it adhere to you quite tenaciously. You cough and blink, trying to regain your faculties.

Something pops out of the bottom of the box. It’s a card of some sort…

Picking it up, you find a business-style card with a single word inscribed on it.

“Gotcha!”

Flipping the card over, you find…

Oh no.

On the opposite side of the card is a picture of a grinning Tyrannosaur face.

Shenanigan has found you.
You assume that this is the first of many “hilarious” pranks.

Otherwise, the box is empty. You drop the card and the box back in your Gallifreyan Satchel, and try in vain to get the green dust off of your face. You just seem to be smearing it around more. Ugh.

> Suddenly, gunfire from a fancy spa!

> Eavesdrop at one of the Game Houses to see if you can hear any FISH STORIES.

You sneak over to the nearest game house, a fancy-looking spa, and hide beneath a window, listening intently. You can’t really make out what anyone’s saying, but you do think you hear voices. You edge closer to the window, trying to see if you can get a better scoop on things. Success! You hear the report of a gun! Very close by. With a girlish wail of fear manly grunt of exertion you clumsily roll action dive away from the window. In general, you make it a point to stay as far from gunfire as is humanly possible.

>Barge into the Adventure House labeled "GreyGabe's WebQuest [Textalicious]"

You pick a building and run into it, not stopping to see what it is. Barging through the door, you find yourself in Adventure Theater. Literally. You find yourself. On the screen. It shows a view of you from behind, standing in the theater. On the screen on the screen, you see the same scene repeating itself ad infinitum. You glance over your shoulder to confirm that the door is still there (it is) and then look back at the screen. You repeat this a couple of times.

“Hey!” Both of you shout. “This is just like that scene from Spaceballs!”

A few of the others sitting in seats around the theater turn around, look back at the screen, then back to you in confusion. You shrug and sit down in a nearby seat, and pull the keyboard over.
You decide to make a suggestion.
...
That done, what should you do now?

SpoilerShow

GreyGabe
Level 5 Forumite
XP: 28/500
HP: 47/50 (Fit as a Fiddle)
MP: 20/20 (Mystically Delicious)
SP: 18/20 (Pretty Much Sane)
CP: 21/100 (Reasonably Attentive)
Strongliness: Average
Stalwartness: Passable
Swiftness: Decent
Wisdomosity: Average (1)
Charm: Poor (1)
Luck: Average (1)

Internets: 12
Cookies: 5

SpoilerShow

I, personally, will keep googly eyes on all my Eagle Time avatars just so this will always make sense~

Less Than Three~

>Look at you. You’re filthy. Go home and wash off your dirty, dirty face.

>Hit on a random audience member. This cannot possibly go wrong in any way whatsoever.

> But wait! Who's filming you?

>Try and step into the screen.

> Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich.

> Attempt to communicate with self.

> Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich.

> Attempt to communicate with self.

> But wait! Who's filming you?

Yeah, you just wish you were being John Malkovich right now. Nope. Still Gabe.
You try to get your own attention. You then turn around, to see if it’s working. You’re not sure! You can’t see anything or anyone behind you, just the entrance to the Adventure Theater. Nobody seems to be filming you, and you don’t see yourself through some sort of screen portal like you do up front. No matter what you do, the Gabe on the screen is facing away from you. Hmm…

>Hit on a random audience member. This cannot possibly go wrong in any way whatsoever.

Okay, sure. Why not? You can’t really tell who anyone is in the dark, so you pick someone at random and sit down next to them.

“Hello, sexy. Would you like to go on an adventure?”
“…Gabe?”
“…Hi, AgentBlue.”
“…”
“…”
“…You maybe want to get your hand out of my lap?”
“Yeah, sure.”

You think you hear someone giggling a few rows back. You turn around just in time to catch a round figure in a Batman cowl ducking out of sight. Grr.

>Try and step into the screen.

Eager to escape this awkward situation, you jump up from your seat, take a runner’s stance in the aisle, and launch yourself full speed at the screen.
“WOOP ZOOP!”

When you regain consciousness a few minutes later, you find yourself lying on the floor under the screen. For future reference you note that they build these screens against walls, apparently.
Several people are gathered around you, looking down with worried expressions.

“M’kay. ‘m O…kay.”

You sit up unsteadily. You notice that on the screen, in the midst of the green smear you left when you hurtled into it face first, there’s also a thin trickle of red. You check to make sure that you still have all your teeth and that your nose is still attached. Check and check. You do seem to have done some damage to the ol' schnoz though. And your whole face pretty much hurts. You should probably have walked into the screen, but you wanted to escape that awkward situation as quickly as possible. Mission accomplished. Except not so much. Man your head hurts. Ugh.

>Look at you. You’re filthy. Go home and wash off your dirty, dirty face.

Yeah. Sounds good. Whoever came up with that one probably was incredibly sexy and smart and would never hurl themselves head first into a wall. Probably. Almost certainly. You wave off the others’ offers of help and pick yourself up, weaving and wobbling your way out of the theater, leaning on your Increasingly Shopping Cart. You get a few glances on the street, seeing as you’re bright green, bruised, and slightly punch-drunk. You manage to navigate your way back home, though.

You walk directly to the bathroom and start running a cold tap. After a few seconds you shove your whole face under there.

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

Pulling back, you check yourself in the mirror. Well, without so much green dust all over your face, you look… fine, considering. You don’t think anything’s broken, anyway.

You carefully clean off all of the green that you can. Unfortunately, it seems to be clinging to your hair and T-Shirt rather tenaciously. Hmm. Well, you can change the shirt (which you do) but you’ve grown attached to your hair, and vice-versa. Oh well. Your hair is now Grass Green. Bobbin Threadbare would be disgusted.
The cold water has cleared your mind somewhat, but you're still achy and throbby in your face region.

After you've cleaned yourself up some, you head back into the main room of your house, where you notice something rather distressing. Boxborg is gone!!!
A robot made entirely of cardboard boxes doesn’t just get up and walk away. Or… maybe it does. You’re not sure which possibility troubles you more… that someone stole Boxborg, or that Boxborg was playing inanimate until you left so that it could pursue its own inscrutable goals. Troubling, either way. Hmm... what now?

Stats:

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GreyGabe
Level 5 Forumite
XP: 28/500
HP: 36/50 (Covered With Boo-Boos)
MP: 20/20 (Mystically Delicious)
SP: 18/20 (Pretty Much Sane)
CP: 18/100 (Ambulatory)
Strongliness: Average
Stalwartness: Passable (1)
Swiftness: Decent
Wisdomosity: Average (1)
Charm: Poor (1)
Luck: Average (1)

Internets: 12
Cookies: 5

Status Effects:
Grass Green Hair: Increases affinity with plants.

Oh, hey. It looks like ramming your face into the wall made you a little more Stalwart. No, you won't do it again to farm Stalwart points. That would be painful, and you're not nearly Stalwart enough to brave that kind of pain for such a meager point reward.

>Boxbot Boxborg probably went to the Administration Buildings to try and gain citizenship. Check there first.

>Alternatively, actually look for clues instead of jumping to conclusions and out the door.

> Eat that fish to recover HP.

Yell down in the basement asking if they've seen BoxBorg.

> Now that we're sure that either someone's broken into your house or your horrible creation's come to life and hidden somewhere, you should go sleep and then take a shower to restore your health.

Yell down in the basement asking if they've seen BoxBorg.

“HEY.” You shout. “YOU SEEN A ROBOT MADE ENTIRELY OF CARDBOARD BOXES DOWN THERE?”
“No. Go away.”
“KTHXBAI!”

> Eat that fish to recover HP.

It’s not even cooked! You’ll need to find a Fryer if you want to make it edible. Unfortunately, you don’t think you have one. And even if you did, it was probably somewhere inside Boxborg. Sigh.

>Alternatively, actually look for clues instead of jumping to conclusions and out the door.

You search around your house for valuable clues. What’s this?
You find A Poorly Written Note. You can read it, but just barely. The penmanship is terrible, even worse than yours. Almost as if it were written… by someone with boxes for hands. Gasp!

It reads:

Deer Geyb,
You is cre8ing mee, bt not luving me. I duznt haz a breyns, and onlee boxis for hanz. I must go owt intwo werld to fine somebuddy to luv me lyke I deezurve. Donut luk fer me. I thenk iz bedder that wei.

Sinseerlee,
Boxborg.

P.S. Thare iz a munstor in yor bacemint. Hee iz not vary nise. Pleeze tel him I theenk he iz a poop.

For an entity lacking a brain or any working digits, you have to admit his penmanship and spelling are actually pretty stellar. You know, considering. You drop the letter into your Gallifreyan Satchel in case you need it again.

Oh! Before you forget.

"HEY!" You shout down towards the basement.
"What now, you insufferable sack of flesh?"
"MY CARDBOARD ROBOT THINKS YOU'RE A POOP. JUST FYI."
"Oh, the pain, the pain. Is that all?"
"YEP." You slam the basement door.

> Now that we're sure that either someone's broken into your house or your horrible creation's come to life and hidden somewhere, you should go sleep and then take a shower to restore your health.

Oh yeah, no time like the present, eh? I mean, no need to hurry, obviously.
You enter your bedroom, and flop down on the bed. You fall asleep within seconds.

You dream that you are a purple balloon floating through a banana orchard. Every once in a while, one of the bananas murmurs a dark, prophetic warning. Unfortunately, you can’t quite remember what it is upon waking. Oh well. Probably not important.

Groggy, you stumble in the general direction of your shower. Climbing in, you let the hot water cascade over—

“Hey! No narrating me while I’m in the shower! Get the hell out of here!”

Oh, sorry. (Touchy in the morning, aren’t we?)
Your various morning rituals done with, you feel refreshed and ready to face the day. Well, more or less. You’re still achy and throbby in places, but a good night’s rest and a hot shower can do wonders for what ails you. Your shampooing and scrubbing didn't manage to fade your green hair any, though. Whatever that stuff was, it was very probably magical in some way.

>Boxbot Boxborg probably went to the Administration Buildings to try and gain citizenship. Check there first.

Eh, worth a shot. You grab a can of Doc Jitter’s Happy-Fun-Time Go-Go Juice from the fridge on your way out. Mmmm… caffeine and high fructose corn syrup, just what you need to face the day! Despite the name, it contains absolutely no juice whatsoever. You gulp it down greedily as you walk towards the Administration Buildings, still dragging your Increasingly Shopping Cart along with you (It’s strange… you don’t remember the ride being this smooth, and looking directly into the interior gives you a little bit of eye-strain, like looking at one of those Magic Eye things for too long. Hmm.).

The Administration Buildings are fairly typical, utilitarian buildings where all of Eagle Town’s vital functions are carried out. On the side of the main building, there is a large mural of the Modmin Guard astride their gargantuan eagle mounts, vigilantly guarding over the city. It's pretty cool.

You see Pinary on his way out of the main building, obviously on some important town business. You decide to pester him.

“Hey, Pinary! Have you seen any sort of cardboard box automatons around?”

He turns his movie-theater head towards you. The tiny audience turns around in their seats for a second before turning back to the movie. “Can’t say that I have.” Pinary’s voice emanates from the theater’s speaker system. "Sorry."

You shrug and wave goodbye. Well, maybe Boxborg skipped town? If it really wanted to avoid you, you guess that would be the thing to do. Oh well. So, what now, brave adventurer?

Stats:

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GreyGabe
Level 5 Forumite
XP: 28/500
HP: 45/50 (Mostly OK)
MP: 20/20 (Mystically Delicious)
SP: 19/20 (Pretty Much Sane)
CP: 37/100 (Annoyingly Chipper)
Strongliness: Average
Stalwartness: Passable (1)
Swiftness: Decent
Wisdomosity: Average (1)
Charm: Poor (1)
Luck: Average (1)

Internets: 12
Cookies: 5

Status Effects:
Grass Green Hair: Increases affinity with plants.

Inventory:

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1 Increasingly Shopping Cart
1 Pair of Dice
1 Less Than Three
1 Cute picture of a kitty
1 Spellbook
1 Cyz summon card
1 FYM Summon card
1 Captain Planet summon card
1 Slightly Used Roll of Duct Tape
1 Can O’ Darkness
1 Battered Catfish
1 Trick Box
1 Shenanigan’s Calling Card
1 Empty Energy Beverage Can
1 Poorly Written Note

Pinary is obviously with-holding information! Mug him.

>Step inside one of the administration buildings and see if you can start a new topic building project.

Roll dice to determine course of action.

>Step inside one of the administration buildings and see if you can start a new topic building project.

Actually, that can be accomplished from you Console at home. But what would you start a topâ??a building about right now? Eh, you'll give it some thought.

Pinary is obviously with-holding information! Mug him.

You suddenly remember that you dropped your Coffee Mug into your Gallifreyan Satchel after you drank your coffee (you have some problems withâ?¦ hoarding). You heft it once in your hand to get a feel for its weight, before launching it Pinary-ward. It strikes you, as the Coffee Mug reaches the zenith of its arc, that this is an incredibly bad idea and will probably have unpleasant ramifications of some sort.
The weaponized ceramic cup shatters against the back of Pinaryâ??s head. He turns around slowly to regard you in what you assume to be annoyance.

â??What the hell? Who does that?â?

Oh well, might as well tryâ?¦ â??Iâ?¦think youâ??re hiding something?â? you proclaim, halfheartedly.

Pinary shakes his head, reaches one hand straight up, and snaps his finger. He then turns around and continues walking away.
What was that? Was it, likeâ?¦ an â??oh snapâ?? kind of thing, or what? What did thatâ??

A loud screeching comes from the sky above you. Oooooh.

You turn to see a gigantic eagle swooping down towards you.

â??Oh, nuts.â?

The eagle snatches you up in its talons, roughly tearing you from the ground.
Up, up, up you fly, high above Eagle Town and the surrounding plains. It would be exhilarating if it wasnâ??t so goddamn terrifying. The eagle begins to circle and maintain altitude. It looks down at the ground with a serious expression, almost one of intense concentration. You are about to wonder exactly why this might be when the eagle lets go.

Ah, the thrill of freefall. The wind in your hair, the sun on your back, the freedom, the adrenaline rush, the ground rushing towards you at a dead sprint. Youâ??re not able to enjoy it much, though, as itâ??s the last bit that dominates your attention.
â??AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!â? You say, scarcely able to hear yourself over the air rushing past you.

Roll dice to determine course of action.

Well, you donâ??t have anything to lose.
You shake the dice around in one hand, and let them fly.
Hmm. Maybe you should start paying more attention to the order you do these things in. Oh well, if you survive this descent, youâ??ll know what to do next, anyway.

â?¦

â?¦

Golly, this is taking a really long time. That eagle must have taken you really far up. You take the time to study the world spread out beneath you.
Far to the north, the Foratopian Plains continue to stretch on, dotted here and there with towns and cities. Beyond them lie the Social Kingdoms. Rising off to the west are the Meme Mountains, and beyond them the Sea of Porn. If you end up going that way, youâ??ll have to be careful not to wander into Shock Image Crevice, which is a terrible place, indeed. In fact, you should probably just avoid going past the Foothills of Meme. That way lies madness. In an easterly direction, you see Video Bay. Beyond that awaits the Ocean of Media, and a multitude of islands, such as The Gamelands, Comicstralia, and the Lolchipelago. And finally, in the south, you see the Lands Of Wikia, pretty dangerous territory if you donâ??t know where youâ??re going. Supposedly, if you find your way to the other side, you can find the ancient Search Engine, atop which sits The Google Oracle. And also some other guys, like, the Bing Oracle and the Alta Vista Oracle but theyâ??re not really the big draw. They donâ??t even warrant bold faced names.

...

Seems like you really should have landed by now. You've been falling for a while, now. You check to see how you're progressing.

Oh, hey! You didnâ??t know anyone had a swimming pool around here!
Neat.

*SPLASH*
â?¦

â??Hey! Hey! Are you okay?â?
â??Blub,â? you reply.
â??Where did you even come from? Cool entrance by the way.â?
â??Blub.â?

You are laying on the edge of Godbotâ??s swimming pool, soaking wet from head to foot, which is also about how much of you is in excruciating pain right now. Thatâ??s what happens when you perform the belly flop from hell. Actually, belly flop from heaven might be more appropriate in this case. A bunch of other forumites mill about, staring and muttering to one another. You sit up veeeeerrrrrry slowly, so as not to displace what bones you have that arenâ??t shattered in nine places.

â??Are you sure you should beâ?¦ moving?â?

â??Eee,â? You say. With titanic effort, you pull yourself to your feet, and shamble over to your dice, which lie in the grass a few meters away. Snake eyes! You think that means, â??fall unconscious and stay that way for a while.â? You happily comply.

...

When you wake up, you are lying in your bed, throbbing with pain. There is a note pinned to your chest.
It reads:

Gabe,
Sorry about that. I didnâ??t mean for him to fly that high. That was a failure in communication on both our parts, and Iâ??m very sorry. Fortunately, you at least landed on something with a little give. Although Woffles, having been directly beneath you when you landed, might not actually agree with me on the â??fortunateâ?? part of that. But I digressâ?¦
I do hope you will forgive me for siccing the eagle on you, and I will endeavor to forgive you for throwing a coffee mug at me. I think we both learned a valuable lesson from this experience.

Sincerely,
Pinary

P.S. Godbot did want to thank you for making his â??Cool Kids Pool Partyâ? a smashing success. Apparently conversation was flagging before you â??crashed the partyâ? (his words, not mine). So we have that.

That was nice. You're glad he's not holding the whole mugging thing against you. With a groan, you get out of bed, your skeleton creaking in a disconcerting manner. Ah, well, you know what they sayâ?¦ any landing you can walk away fromâ?¦

So that was fun. No, wait. That other thing. Terrible. Letâ??s not attack any more Modmins, hmm?

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GreyGabe
Level 5 Forumite
XP: 30/500
HP: 13/50 (A Broken Shamble of a Man)
MP: 20/20 (Mystically Delicious)
SP: 17/20 (Mostly Sane)
CP: 37/100 (Annoyingly Chipper)
Strongliness: Average
Stalwartness: Passable (3)
Swiftness: Decent
Wisdomosity: Average (1)
Charm: Poor (1)
Luck: Average (1)

Internets: 12
Cookies: 5

Status Effects:
Grass Green Hair: Increases affinity with plants.

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...What? I use a lot of ellipses? Nah... nah... I don't think so, anyway...
...
...
Also I hope you guys are cool with me just randomly picking one of you guys to insert into the adventure whenever I need a character, at least until we leave Eagle Town. I basically just pick randomly out of the people who posted in here. I tried just opening up the memberlist and then throwing a dart to pick who got used, but that didn't work so well...

>Wander over in the general direction of your console and accidentally create a new building.

>MEDIC!

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>Also, at some point you've got to find your way into this.

Go and seek counsel in the Advice Columns.

Go and seek counsel in the Advice Columns.

Yeah, get ye advice. Just make sure not to stumble into the Music Exchange by mistake, your head probably doesn't need to add "mad beats" to the list of things slamming into it.

Devour one of your cookies.

Go and seek counsel in the Advice Columns.

Yeah, get ye advice. Just make sure not to stumble into the Music Exchange by mistake, your head probably doesn't need to add "mad beats" to the list of things slamming into it.

Yeah, you can hear the mad beats echoing from the rafters, even from the street. You should probably avoid it. You already feel like you have Motörhead playing live inside your skull, except all of their instruments have been replaced by angry hornets.

Youâ??re pretty sure that that didnâ??t make any sense. Perhaps you arenâ??t entirely lucid just yet. The purple raccoon in the neon orange top hat agrees that this may indeed be the case.

You send off a letter to Nopor Pussâ??s advice column. You expect you will probably get some pretty handy advice from him. He has his own adventure, after all, and it would be completely pointless of him to start an advice column if he wasnâ??t going to give out useful, relevant advice. Waitâ?¦

Devour one of your cookies.

Om nom nom nom. Youâ??re poorer, but less hungry. Man, who just eats money? You must have hit your head harder than you thought. The purple raccoon once again agrees. Smug furry little so and soâ?¦

>MEDIC!

You dramatically drop to your knees and scream, â??MEDIC!!!â? in the middle of General Square. A few people glance at you oddly. Finally, someone relents and tosses you a Less Than Three. You use it immediately. Much better! That smarmy little raccoon disappears, too. Must have been a figment of your imagination.

>Wander over in the general direction of your console and accidentally create a new building.

Still a little woozy, you decide to head home and get some rest. Coming through the door, you stumble over something, and hit your Console accidentally... hitting the enter button, and only the enter button. Thatâ??s okay, though, you shouldnâ??t have been able to post without typing anything, right?

Wait, something happenedâ?¦ Another Adventure Theater just went up! Who typed this stuff on your computer? With a sudden realization you spin around to see just what it was you stumbled overâ?¦

A Fruit Basket? Yes, indeed, somebody has left you a basket of fruit, filled with bananas, a pineapple, a few kiwis, and aâ?¦ umâ?¦ youâ??re not quite sure what this thing is. Itâ??s kind ofâ?¦ roundish? Andâ?¦ sort of anâ?¦ orange shade of purple? Which you kind of thought was not a color that was even possible. Oh, look, thereâ??s a note.

I hope you like the adventure that I made, just for you! Itâ??ll be posted under your name, but weâ??ll both know just who it really belongs to. :D Also thereâ??s an eensy-weensy teeny-tiny itty-bitty chance, almost infinitesimal, really, that it will have some sort of repercussions for the adventure that you are going on now. Negligible chance, mind you. Miniscule. I wouldnâ??t worry about it!

Oh! And enjoy the fruit! Especially the one that I donâ??t know what it is! Iâ??m sure itâ??s probably fine. I found it in a tree. But now that I think about it, it wasnâ??t really growing from the treeâ?¦ it was more sitting in the tree. In like, this little round thing made of twigs? I donâ??t know what was with that. Iâ??m sure itâ??s nothing important.

Anyway, places to go, people to prank! Try not to break any more of your legs!

<3

Shenanigan Rex

Oh god damn it. What has that terrible lizard gotten you into now? You did get a Less Than Three from reading that, though. Yay?

Well, that nixes that. Thereâ??s no way you can sleep now that you know that Shenanigan:
A) Knows where you live, and
B) Can enter your house at will.
Better find something else to doâ?¦

Stats:

SpoilerShow

GreyGabe
Level 5 Forumite
XP: 30/500
HP: 33/50 (Shaken And Stirred)
MP: 20/20 (Mystically Delicious)
SP: 16/20 (Mostly Sane)
CP: 36/100 (Annoyingly Chipper)
Strongliness: Average
Stalwartness: Passable (3)
Swiftness: Decent
Wisdomosity: Average (1)
Charm: Poor (1)
Luck: Average (1)

Internets: 12
Cookies: 4

Status Effects:
Grass Green Hair: Increases affinity with plants.

SpoilerShow

>Also, at some point you've got to find your way into this.

That would be as hilarious as it would be dangerous! Which is to say, very! I don't know how well a forum adventure could cross with a GB, though. Hmm...

>Set up a Shenanigan Rex trap! Bait it with an unsuspecting sucker (other than you).