The Imaginary Situation Survival Thread

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SpoilerInspired (and blatantly stolen) by this dealie here.

So one day you're walking along and, all of a sudden, something goes wrong!

Oh dang!

What do you do when such a predicament arises?

-Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.
-Rampant sexuality is only the answer about half of the time.
-Make me a sandwich.
-If at first you don't succeed, then get the fuck out of there, son.
-No seriously, make me a sandwich.

-It's a trick. Get an axe.

-Find someone else nearby, make them deal with it, and RUN.

Groin attack with whatever weapon is handy. Even females have soft groins, men.

Daleks, go for the eyestalk.
Sontarans, back of the neck.
Vashta Nerada: Run.