Murphy's Law

You were only six years old.

Your family was driving to their summer cottage, but halfway there a freak blizzard struck, even though it was the middle of July. The resulting storm led to a major traffic jam, making it as difficult to go back home as to keep heading to the cottage.

Over the next five hours, as you shivered in the back of the car, you gradually made it closer to the cottage.

Then the engine gave out.

"Hey, it could be worse," your father joked as he opened his door, planning to fix the engine in the middle of the raging snow.

Your young mind soon thought of just how it could be worse. At least there weren't any dinosaurs, right?

And then, right in front of your eyes, your father was devoured by a pack of velociraptors.

That was twenty years ago.

You are Murphy S. Law. You have a unique and dangerous power: the ability to make any situation you're in worse for you.

It's not really all that useful. You've spent most of the intervening years learning to carefully control what you think about so you don't use it accidentally.

Right now, you're watching TV. Your favorite show is about to start.

*bzzt*

"Greetings, pathetic worms."

Oh, great. It looks like some nutcase has hijacked the world's broadcasting networks.

"My name is David Stroyer," the man on your TV set says. "I am the leader of the Exquisitely Perfect Legion of Overwhelming Death and Evil, or EXPLODE. In twenty-four hours, we will destroy the entire world. There is no ransom. We simply wish to destroy everything. Enjoy your last day of existence while you can."

Well. This could be a problem.

You feel something within you stirring you into action. You can't let these terrorists succeed in their evil schemes.

You have to stop this somehow. But what can you do? You've got no special skills, all you have is the power to make things worse.

On the other hand... You have some control over how things get worse. Maybe you can use that to your advantage.

Well, you'd better get started. Terrorists are going to destroy the world in 24 hours, and you have no idea where they are.

So! How can this possibly get any worse?

They could decide that if they receive you (for some foul plan, no doubt) in the next six hours, they'll call it off. And then a huge angry mob shows up to turn you in.

Also, there's a meteor shower heading toward Earth, so even if you did manage to stop the terrorists, the Earth's going to be destroyed anyway.

Your house is on fire

(You can do the most damage from inside the organization.)

Well, at least you aren't being personally named on national television as one of their accomplices, and forced to help them.

(You can do the most damage from inside the organization.)

Well, at least you aren't being personally named on national television as one of their accomplices, and forced to help them.

Oh, hey. The broadcast faded. But instead of your show going back on, you get a news report.

"This is a special news bulletin on the activities of the terrorist organization EXPLODE. We will be bringing you round-the-clock coverage of any important information that could help you survive this attack.

First of all, authorities have identified one Murphy S. Law as a possible member of the organization. They have advised stopping him - with deadly force if necessary - in order to prevent him from assisting EXPLODE in their nefarious plans."

Well, that could be a problem. You look outside and see an angry mob gathering, no doubt to stop you from joining up with EXPLODE. This could be a problem... you'll need some way to keep them out.

Your house is on fire

Well, it could be worse. Your house could be on fire.

Oh, look, now it is. The mob draws back - they don't want to risk the flames surrounding your house. So you're safe for the moment, aside from the part where your house is on fire.

Well, if you stay in here you'll get burned up by the fire, but if you go out there you'll face an angry mob out for your head. How could this possibly get any worse?

The military could send an airstrike your way, revealing that EXPLODE's base was under your house all along. That would probably injure you, as well as removing any doubt that you're in league with them.

You could trip over a hidden switch in your carpet that launches you into a pool of crocodiles neatly concealed beneath your floorboards.

(you may or may not have found the entrance to the hidden base).

Could be worse.

It could be raining.

You could get kidnapped by the authorities/a secret squad and torture you in the most horrifying ways to make you spit information about EXPLODE.

Or there could be a flood, and you left your laundry drying outside, what could be worse than wet laundry?!

Could be worse.

It could be raining.

Rain... Well, that's not so bad on its own. But it does give you an idea.

At least there isn't a thunderstorm outside!

Oh look, now there is. The angry mob disperses, not wanting to be caught in the storm, and the rain starts dousing the fire.

That takes care of the angry mob and the fire, but it's still going to be tough to get outside. Plus the house took some structural damage. You're going to need to move fast.

You grab a raincoat and boots and step outside, and try to think about how this could get any worse.

You could get kidnapped by the authorities/a secret squad and torture you in the most horrifying ways to make you spit information about EXPLODE.

Oh, yeah, that would be worse. Getting caught by the authorities...

Wow, that black helicopter sure got here fast.

You try to surrender, but the tranquilizer dart hits you before you can say a word. You wake up locked in a small room and tied to a chair. There is a very intimidating federal agent standing over you.

You might want to say something before the interrogation starts. Or you could just try to make things worse again. What are you going to do?

>You just realized you're just wearing your undies! just like in one of those dreams people supposedly have.

It would really suck if they sent for a special torture expert and had to wait until he arrived.

>Hey, at least there isn't a man-made biological weapony virus about.

Well, at least EXPLODE hasn't blasted the doors down to kidnap and probably kill you because you're the only one that can make their nefarious plot succeed.

>Chat online and find your long lost brother, Godwin S. Law
Godwin: Have the ability to put Hitler into anything

>You just realized you're just wearing your undies! just like in one of those dreams people supposedly have.

Meh, it could be worse. They could take those away, too.

Oh, wait, you probably shouldn't think that...

You should just give away all of EXPLODE's secrets, in hopes that the proper authorities can stop them before it's too late.

>You just realized you're just wearing your undies! just like in one of those dreams people supposedly have.

...Well, this is embarrassing. And not really all that helpful either.

"Where are my clothes?" you ask.

"Being checked for volatile chemicals or biological agents," the agent replies. "Now, we have some questions for you, Mr. Law..."

It would really suck if they sent for a special torture expert and had to wait until he arrived.

"...and as soon as our interrogation specialist arrives, we'll get to them. As much as I'd enjoy questioning you myself, the higher-ups have been clear: no questioning until the Anklebreaker has had his turn."

"The... uh... the Anklebreaker?"

"That's the only name we know him by. He's been assigned to you because of the importance of your case. But his technique is very precise, and we need you in the best of health to make sure you survive it long enough to tell us what you know."

You suddenly feel very nervous. Especially because you don't know anything.

"In the meantime, I'm just here to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't escape." He smirks. "I don't think that will be much of a problem."

He's got a point. You're in your underwear and tied to a chair, and on closer inspection the chair seems to be bolted to the ground on top of that. The only way you could possibly escape is by making things worse...

Well, at least EXPLODE hasn't blasted the doors down to kidnap and probably kill you because you're the only one that can make their nefarious plot succeed.

Suddenly, an explosion blasts the door open, and it goes flying into the agent. A half-dozen masked men with guns run in, followed by a tall man in a trenchcoat.

"Found him," the trenchcoated man says with a smile. "Mister Stroyer will be pleased."

He turns to you and grins widely.

"Murphy S. Law, I presume? You'll be quite an asset to our organization."

He pulls out a large knife from the depths of his trenchcoat.

"And by that, I mean your brain will. Mister Stroyer is quite sure it's the key to your powers, so we don't really need the rest of you getting in the way. And once we have it, we should be able to destroy the world hours ahead of schedule."

Oh great. How can this possibly get any worse?

Sure would be bad if a fire fight suddenly broke out in the room.

Now would be a really bad time to lose control of your latent pyrokinetic abilities.

Well, at least there's not an earthquake...

>Well, at least 5 planes haven't crashed into your house simultaneously!

What if the federal agents found out about this? They'd be furious!

Now would be a really bad time to lose control of your latent pyrokinetic abilities.

Oh no. You're not sure if you can actually grant yourself powers like that, but considering they'd have to actually make the situation worse, you'd be stuck with terrible powers for the rest of your life. Not worth it, even if things are this desperate.

On the other hand, it strikes you that this would be a really bad time for one of the EXPLODE agents to lose control of their latent pyrokinetic abilities. A moment later, the knife-wielding man's trenchcoat bursts into flames, followed by a few masks, followed by the chair you're in.

Well, that sure made things worse. Now if only you could make use of that fact. Maybe things aren't quite bad enough yet?

Sure would be bad if a fire fight suddenly broke out in the room.

Suddenly, a dozen federal agents burst in, firing their guns wildly. The EXPLODE agents pull out their own guns and start shooting back, at least the ones whose guns aren't spontaneously bursting into flames.

As a bullet just barely misses your nose and then gets set on fire, you start feeling the heat from your chair. You've made things worse, all right, but you're not sure you did it in a useful way at all. Maybe another approach is in order.

Well, at least there's not an earthquake...

Suddenly, the room starts shaking. The EXPLODE agents and the feds are all knocked to the floor, still shooting as flames randomly erupt all around. The earthquake is so strong that your chair breaks from the bolts on the floor, and you go flying right into the trenchcoated man, knocking him over and causing him to drop his knife.

Dang, that knife would probably be useful for getting out of these ropes. But your arms are tied too tight to actually reach it. And there's still the out-of-control pyrokinesis and the gunfire to deal with, not to mention the fact that both your chair and the trenchcoat of the man you just collided with are on fire.

How can this possibly get any worse?