Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Oh yeah I forgot to mention I go onto the pantswhale in order to initiate our noble ("noble") duel. Also imagine my method of engaging Fogel involves a rad kickflip at the start.

Kickflips are awesome.

Oh, good. We can get started.

I pick up Granolaman and give him a hefty swing in Pharms' direction.

I do a NARBLE PARRY with my magnificent whalepon and attempt to go into Fogel's BLINDSPOT in attempt to horrible SHANK him where there sun doesn't shine.

I didn't stab Malky. Seems I was the only one she Hoovered up.

SCHAZER AND KIVEN, I INTENSELY RESENT YOUR MISGUIDED VERY ANGRY EYES.

Also, don't groupshank Granola, because if his claim of being immortal is true, then I'm most likely the only one that can kill him. Unless I get dayshanked or something. In that case, rude. Totally rude.

Of course, he could always be a jester. In which case, glad to help, I guess.

(also Loather wasn't even around to stab Malky)

she got fired :/

Rrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh fuckin' temporal anomaly will have been going to shove all your shouting into fuckin' yesterday

Some Announcements

This is a Whalefighting Advisory.

Please keep all Whale Combat to the appropriate venue, the location of which will be unveiled forthwith.

We thank you for your attention.

Alright! Excellent! Everyone's back, which means we can get to the REAL point of this day: VESTS!

Now, Chirality's will was very, very specific with how I should hand these all out - only when there were as many people left alive in this resort as there are vests in this mountain does each person get one.

Joke's on him though, because I've got a PILE OF VR GOGGLES right over here!

And I've checked with Stan in Legal: as long as you all kill each other in ~CYBERSPACE~, you can still win WONDERFUL PRIZES in the real world!

So what're you waiting for?

GET INTO THE MATRIX. (<--- THIS IS A LINK)

--------------

MECHANICAL BRIEFING

The way this works is: You can spend as much time in or talk as much as you want in CYBERSHANK.

What I need from every player is a one-line choice of WHO (out of the remaining 58 living players) you want to CYBERSHANK in CYBERSHANK: THE GAME (THE MOVIE).

You can post your shank in your private Quicktopic or in CYBERSHANK publicly, your choice.

Once every player has given me a CYBERSHANK, these will be executed and whoever's left will have a chance (or possibly a guarantee, assuming there's less survivors than VEST PRIZES) at glory. There are no roles, items, or other extraneous bits in CYBERSPACE. There are only 1s, 0s and |--->

Yeah I am making very angry eyes in the direction of those six. How dare you stab such a pleasant spacetime anomaly?

Yeah, wtf.

I'm angry

these....BLASPHEMERS...

must be dealt with.

tonight.

avenge the goddess!

I wave Granola around wildly in my blindspot. I'm sure to catch Pharms or her narwhal that way even if I can't see where she is.

Or, I guess I could turn around suddenly, since the blind spot is relative to my current position and the direction I'm facing. You know what, I'll do that and then swing Granola at Pharm's hands in an attempt to disarm her.

Sorry, didn't see the announcement, I will hold off on further shenanigans for the moment.

SEE YOU IN CYBERZONE, FOGEL.

Fogel

Fogel she sneaking up on your ass there Fogel

Fogel she's gonna narwhal you in the bum

Fogel

Watch out Fogel

Cybershank: TehPilot Told ya I'd catch up to ya

wrong place to post your cybershank, dweeb

Gotta cybershank in cyberspace, bruh.

THERE'S NO LINK WHAT LINK IS THIS YOU SPEAK OF

A MOON-BASED PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT

"Mornin' bitches! I said I was done with you, and I will be, but one of my interns had the temerity to tell me I'd forgotten to tell you something you should all have gotten from my speech in the first place! Still, as I was helping him plan his career as moon alligator nutriment I realized that that might not be clear enough for some of your shank-obsessed minds. So let me spell it out:

If you're an engaging and active participant in this competition, you'll be rewarded! Not necessarily by being alive at the end of it all - that's out of my hands - but you'll enjoy the liberty of the FREE MARKET TRICKLE DOWN REWARD SYSTEM I installed down in the Vista. It might work in mysterious ways, but hey, that's the invisible hand for you. Carpe Diem!"

---PING---

The comms screens switch off once more.

More effort...?

Alright, time to start drawing shankbattles

I am suprised we escaped the worm hole shit was sort of falling apart in there.

mirdini why do you continue to torture yourself with added complexity after added layer of complexity

'cause he's the most stacked bitch at the murder ball

But lurking in the background like a creep is so much more fuuuuun

Christ I didn't even know day started. Mirdini must be like a god damn compute of bitch shanking, calculatin all dem stabs like a mofo.

Now that that is out of the way. Groupshank: Stiq

Also I refuse to be active screw you and your ~free markets~ and ~fabulous prizes~ and... alright screw it I'll just be more active whatever baaaaaaaaaa

I'd help my alliteration brethren kill fogel, 'cept I don't think it's right to when he's destined to decide his fate atop a whale in combat with pharmacy

groupshank: mister visceral for doing the thing

(bonuses for participating in this game and having fun flavor is pretty cool, I mean it's not supposed to be balanced so it's just a fun thing heh heh ha *head rotates unnaturally to stare directly at fogel* ha ha)