IRC highlights!

<RedAce> At least it's not skeleton puns
<Schazer> do you awnna fucking go
<DragonFogel> Okay, we all know this is going to lead up to someone saying "boner", so I'm saying it to get it out of the way.
<Ellyfish> ...skeleton puns are never humerus?
<RedAce> haha joke's on you skeleton puns are always humerus
<DragonFogel> She knows that, she's just ribbing you.
<Slorange> Come on, Fogel
<Slorange> We're better than going for the low-hanging fruit of "boner"
<Slorange> It's leading up to telling someone to suck a coccyx
<Schazer> it's a testicle of your self-discipline
<Ellyfish> I picked up a hitchhiker on the way back to my hometown where I am now. we talked a lot in the car about her life and what led up to her being a homeless hitchhiker in texas. she had a funny story that's sort of relevant to this discussion.
<RedAce> I would join in but my funny bone is severly lacking
<Jacquerel> skeletons don't have testicles that would be ribiculous
<Ellyfish> long story short, I metacarpal who had a funny skeleton pun
<Ellyfish> okay, that was a stretch
<Ellyfish> I'll just see myself out.
<Schazer> I'm not letting you escapula
<Schazer> sit your ass down
<RedAce> alright schaz, talus some more puns
<Slorange> Are you guys gonna cut this out, or am I going to have to get sternum
<Schazer> ulna you don't
<Schazer> don't lump this all on me
<Slorange> I will pelvis car over if I have to
<Schazer> fuck
<Schazer> I think I'm spent
<Schazer> Ill have to come back tomarrow with some new ideas
<RedAce> I have a list of all the bones in the human body and I still can't think of anything
<DragonFogel> Well, good thing this isn't a pun-or-die scenario.
<RedAce> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_bo...n_skeleton
<Ellyfish> That would seem tibia good idea
<DragonFogel> I wouldn't want tibia if it were.
<Schazer> OOOOOH SHIT SON
<DragonFogel> DANG IT PUN COLLISION
<Ellyfish> j....jinx?
<RedAce> is this like a combo breaker
<RedAce> do they fight to the death now
<DragonFogel> Technically we were doing different replacements, hers was "a" and mine was "ya".
<Schazer> I don't know
<RedAce> but like. with puns
<Schazer> they're a common femur this channel
<Schazer> what with the constant punslinging
<DragonFogel> See, I was trying to work in a "femur" joke but couldn't think of anything.
<Jacquerel> I didn't need to be awake right now but I'm glad I was
<Ellyfish> I was trying to find a way to make "skull" sound like "skill" in a way that didn't seem forced
<Schazer> guess you weren't "hip" enough to find your way into this joint then
<Slorange> Okay, I think we've just about hit maxillam punnage
<Ellyfish> I agree also vertebrae
* bigro (~rohan@219-90-145-245.ip.adam.com.au) has joined #grandbattle
<Slorange> Unless of course
<Slorange> Someone wants to raise the stapes
<Schazer> a ritual sacrumfice might stoke the mood again
<RedAce> I wouldn't want tibia one we use
<Slorange> As long as the sacrificee knew there was no malleus in it
<Slorange> We're just doing it like the incus used to!
<Schazer> yeah
<Ellyfish> :I okay guys goodnight nice to see you all again mandible
<Slorange> Goodnight Elize
<DragonFogel> Just be sure they know what they're getting into. There's no need to hide the tooth.
* Ellyfish has quit (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.90.1 [Firefox 26.0/20131205075310])
<Schazer> the father was the one who had to break the news to the poor sacrificee
<Schazer> her patella
<Schazer> we done, you think?
<RedAce> probably
<Slorange> Geez, making her father tell her? Is nothing sacrum?
<Schazer> it's worth ischum around
<RedAce> ahhhh so close
<Schazer> in case someone busts out something like the above
<RedAce> thigh pun game is too strong
<Slorange> You'd think they'd trick her into it with a little fibula
<Schazer> I dunno when they start talking about it
<Slorange> But those incus were a bunch of lunateics
<Schazer> they start to sound all ephalangical
<Slorange> But at least she didn't get de-capitated
<Schazer> true
<Slorange> Ugh these are getting terrible, I'll be gladiolus when this is over
<Schazer> wait are we into flower puns now
<Slorange> Isn't that right, Manubrium?
<RedAce> I'm not sure
<Slorange> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_of_sternum
<Schazer> hahaha
<Schazer> well played
<RedAce> well played
<Schazer> that's about enough to make me keel over
<RedAce> game, set, match
<Schazer> still got worksheets to mark though so I won't
<Slorange> Yeah, that one was so good it brought a tear to my eye, made me feel all lacrimal
<Slorange> I keep trying to think of good ones for the hand bones though
<Slorange> I guess you could say I'm tunneling on the carpal
<NotTheAuthor> Iunno
<Schazer> I dunno you could say that last one now
<Schazer> was a meta-carpal joke
<NotTheAuthor> Meta jokes are hard to pull off well
<Schazer> HAH my timestamp says I beat you just now
<Slorange> Mine shows his went first
<NotTheAuthor> Signal lag
<NotTheAuthor> Mine says I won
<Slorange> I guess we've got a bit of a TEMPORAL discrepancy
<NotTheAuthor> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
<RedAce> oooo
<RedAce> OOOOOOO
<NotTheAuthor> [skeletons oohing]
<Slorange> Pfffbt
<Schazer> ;aslkdzp g
<RedAce> get those things out of here
<NotTheAuthor> \o/
<Schazer> ENTS YOU MOTHERFUCKER
* ChanServ gives channel operator status to Schazer
<NotTheAuthor> uhoh
<NotTheAuthor> here comes the bonehammer
<Schazer> .kick NotTheAuthor
<Schazer> FUCk
* Schazer has kicked NotTheAuthor from #grandbattle (NotTheAuthor)
* NotTheAuthor (~NotTheAut@pool-108-48-83-152.washdc.fios.verizon.net) has joined #grandbattle
* Schazer screeches angrily
<RedAce> [crowd cheering]
<Slorange> Mandible shit in this channel is getting ridiculous
<Slorange> Mod abuse!
<RedAce> "and the fight is on ladies and gentlemen"
<Schazer> oh thank god
<Schazer> I was trying to figure out a good mandible pun for ages

16:20 Mirdini if it's not a pantsless anglerfish navy captain I'll be terribly disappointed
16:20 Mirdini the less pants in these profiles the better
16:20 Schazer Dini
16:20 Schazer fish don't wear pants
16:20 Mirdini they do if they're in the /navy/
16:20 Schazer no
16:20 Schazer it's hard to swim in pants
16:20 Schazer jesus
16:22 Mirdini (seriously speaking I could care less about navies or pants, looking forward to cool fish things gar)
16:23 Schazer oooh character idea
16:23 Schazer https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cUtIprrwGuA/T...280101.JPG
16:23 Garuru touching ghost buttocks
16:24 Garuru theres some real potential there yes
16:24 Schazer it's basically XX's coat but a pair of pants
16:27 Slorange Character idea: necropants
16:28 Schazer necropantser

[07:22] Schazmander so far we have a generic forum adventure protagonist, something which appears to be an all-devouring legion, and a lady who was cursed by gods to follow all orders given her
[07:22] Schazmander also a Solaris-worshipper
[07:23] eberron lol
[07:23] Solaris :>
[07:23] eberron speak of the devil
[07:24] DragonFogel No, no, Solaris is Jesus, his birthday proves it.
[07:24] eberron ah
[07:24] Solaris the thing that makes me angry is that i would really like writing for this character BUT I CANT NOT MAKE THE JOKE
[07:24] Solaris BECAUSE
[07:24] Solaris SHES THE SOLE HEIRESS
[07:24] eberron not punny
[07:24] Schazmander oh my god
[07:25] Schazmander fuck you Solaris
[07:25] Mirdini ^
[07:25] Schazmander oh my fucking god
[07:25] Schazmander I am so upset right now
[07:26] Solaris i think im dying because i cant stop laughing
[07:26] Schazmander I think we should all throw terrible puns at Solaris
[07:27] Schazmander let him know his place
[07:28] DragonFogel I know who Sol's favorite IS character is. He may deny it, but it is so Larus.
[07:28] eberron good god
[07:28] Solaris noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[07:29] Schazmander Solaris your pun was so bad you're going to be doing time for it right up until you die
[07:29] Schazmander you'll be working off your debt into the afterlife
[07:30] Schazmander putting in soul hours

Sloregent It's no more or less offensive than any other dumb meme, to me
Sloregent I gave up being angry at silly cultural relics, because they've always existed and always will exist
Sloregent It's a property of sociality
Sczar what about eusociality
Sloregent They'll spring up because we like to belong and we like shorthands in communication
Sloregent I just get annoyed when they get leaned on as a crutch instead of being a sometimes food
MrGuy Mm
Sloregent I don't think bees have memes
Sczar bees are the best
Sczar bees are better than us
Sloregent But if they do I bet they're goofy as hell
Sczar beemes
Sloregent Young workers all the time telling each other "Yeah there's this huge red flower with lots of nectar and pollen over that way"
Sloregent They get there and it's just an empty plastic cup covered with pheremones that smell like "Haha sucker"
Sloregent "You just got dixrolled"
MrGuy Heh, dix

NSFW???

Show Content

Spoiler17:06 Cassie goodnight hawkclocks :v
17:06 Sczar that sounds like some horrific
17:06 Sczar multifandom ship
17:08 Loather hello my name is dr hawkcox and im here to tell you about my ships
17:08 Sczar please concrit my clintlocke Double "Pistols" and a Wank drabble cw: fluff angst cannibalism
17:08 Loather writes down the phrase "fluff angst cannibalism" for future use
17:09 Sczar anything in that horrible melange of a sentence is yours to take
17:09 Pharmacy sounds like a medical drama
17:09 Sczar except for Double Pistols and a Wank
17:09 Sloregent May I have a wank
17:10 Sloregent w/ or w/o pistols
17:10 Sczar because that's going to be the title of my gunplay porno
17:10 Loather get your own damned wank
17:10 Cassie just one
17:10 Cassie singular wank
17:10 Sczar Slorange I need the a for other projects
17:10 Sczar you can have "Wank drabble" though
17:10 Cassie lonely pumpolli
17:10 Pharmacy wank chika pow pow
17:10 Sloregent I don't want your wank drabble
17:10 Sloregent Eat more pineapple and then we'll talk
17:11 Sczar you'll be swallowing those words
17:11 Loather
17:11 Loather
17:11 DragonFogel Loather, is there something in your eye?
17:11 Loather yea
17:12 Sloregent I hope not
17:12 Sloregent That stuff burns
17:12 Sanzh is it wank drabble
17:12 Loather uhh
17:12 Loather igottogo GOODNIGHT
17:12 Sanzh i am tired, please forgive my sins
17:12 MrGuy I also need to go to bed
17:12 Sczar I'll forgive your sins but not your stains
17:12 Cassie sex jokes are always funny
17:12 *** Loather quit (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.90.1 [Firefox 26.0/20131205075310])

Loather slorange what is your favorite organ
23:44 Credit implodes due to lack of legs
23:44 Garuru palpitation or something
23:44 Mirdini through with these legs
23:44 Slorange I'm going to go with spleen
23:45 Garuru my favorite organ is the skin
23:45 Garuru eyebrows
23:46 MrGuy Are boobs an organ
23:46 Slorange "Because I don't care how big your boobs are, if you don't have skin, I'm not interested"
23:46 Slorange Or however that goes
23:46 Chwoka Garuru: but garuru, if you don't got endz you won't be getting no skinz
23:47 Chwoka therefore the anus is my favorite
23:47 Garuru got the ends to make skins meet
23:47 Agenpetra AHHHHHHHHH
23:47 Agenpetra OH GOD THERE'S OAK WOOD EVERYWHERE
23:47 Slorange "The anus is my favorite"
23:47 Credit oak wood is absolutely
23:47 Garuru are you in connecticut
23:47 Credit the loveliest organ
23:47 Slorange -Chwoka, 2014
23:47 Slorange This will go on your tombstone
23:48 Agenpetra STEAM BOILERS ARE UNDERCONSUMING
23:48 Chwoka oh no!!!
23:48 gonero ruh roh
23:48 Credit consume the steam boilers
23:48 Slorange Here lies Chwoka
23:48 Chwoka they'll put my internet username on my tombstone? how gauche
23:48 *** gonero is now known as bigro
23:48 Credit get rid of the middle-man
23:48 Slorange Friend, father, husband
23:48 Slorange He liked the anus
23:48 Slorange Yeah by the time you die the internet will have replaced society
23:48 Garuru He was into the anus.
23:49 Garuru He was all up in there, yo.
23:49 Credit he was the anus
23:49 Credit he found.. deeper meaning
23:49 Garuru The anus became him.
23:49 Credit "State your occupation, for the record"
23:49 Garuru He was... Anus-man!
23:49 Credit "Anus"
23:49 Garuru Coming to theatres late 2014
23:50 Agenpetra i feel like i stepped into the middle of something terrible
23:50 Pharmacy nahhh
23:50 Pharmacy just terrible people
23:50 Pharmacy munches popcorn

My favourite from tonight's Sollie Reads GBS2:

<Solaris> PLAYING TO HAVE ALREADY WON
<Solaris> SIRLIN EAT YOUR HEART OUT

I know it's meanspirited but I need this for posterity

<Loather> woops
<MrGuy> Woops?
<MrGuy> Why whoops?
<Loather> zoops

qoty

woop zoop sonic warrior

22:29 Meganopteryx: sbnkalny says not to worry though
22:29 sbnkalny: Very clearly says that on the indiedb page
22:30 Solaris: thank you sbnkalny
22:30 sbnkalny Dont ignore me sbnkalny do you love me
22:30 Solaris I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SBNKALNY
22:30 sbnkalny Well i only fuck people i know very well and am comfortable around guns
22:30 Solaris oooh sbnkalny~ *swoon*
22:31 sbnkalny solaris sbnkalny~
22:31 sbnkalny Hahaha sbnkalny talking so much
22:31 Solaris jac if you arent careful this robot is going to steal your s.o.

Feelin a little threatened here

skellington verses robot

hard choice

well since I'm apparently half skellington I'm allowed to join the fray and tip the scales right

<LtFish> maybe I should go quote some star wars lines verbatim in another subreddit and grind karma or whatever
<MrGuy> you'll make a bunch of cash offa meme licensing
<Loather> do it
<Loather> go to mensrights or something and be like
<MrGuy> "and these blast points... too yogurty"
<Loather> "dont anger a wookee"
<MrGuy> Go to mensrights and just say "Those dang feminists" without elaborating
<LtFish> "That's no moon . . . that's a space station."
<LtFish> ahahahah
<MrGuy> alt "why do people insist on calling trilbies fedoras"
<Loather> "i dont like paying child support, damned feminazis"
<MrGuy> go on atheism and talk about how you told your mom to shut the fuck up when she asked if you wanted to go to the church waffle fundraiser
<LtFish> I dunno if I want to get star wars all over Othaaa_aa-Poddconn's brand new persona
<Loather> "i took the red pill and all i got was le friendzone. plz advise?"
<LtFish> or atheism
<MrGuy> Loather you have no idea how hard I just cracked up
<Loather> "banned from chic fil a again for speaking the TRUTHH about atheism"
<Chwoka> post the chic fil-a thing in both r/atheism AND r/christianity
<Nauga> "wrote this EUPHORIC quote about atheism what does reddit think"
<MrGuy> "Guys help, I've been burning crosses to show people that god has no real power, but now my neighbor (I don't see race but he's black) is threatening to call the police on me? please advise"
<Loather> "america is sick, dr paul is the cure"
<Chwoka> burning crosses on your own lawn
<Chwoka> do all of these
<LtFish> https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comment...en_warned/
<Loather> "pc police say i haf to stop wearing white pride shirt too work, but black history month ok??"

<LtFish> god damn it let me post my fucking yogurt meme

17:50 isoraqathedh Eww: "Cameron Diaz Encourages Women to Keep Their Pubic Hair in Her New Book"
17:51 Schazer why is that gross
17:52 isoraqathedh Cameron Diaz Encourages Women to To (Keep Their Pubic Hair in Her New Book)
17:52 Schazer hahahahahahaaaaaaaa ok I didn't parse it that way
17:52 isoraqathedh This is why headline writers are horrible people sometimes.
17:53 Schazer use it to keep your place
17:53 Schazer like a little curly bookmark
17:53 Pharmacy I am not sure I think it might get caught in the middle of the crack
17:54 Pharmacy it would have to be
17:54 Pharmacy pretty
17:54 Pharmacy long
17:54 Pharmacy cough
17:54 Schazer Pharms
17:54 isoraqathedh Or you can cellotape multiple haris together into a conga line of public hair.
17:54 isoraqathedh I mean pubic hair.
17:54 Schazer I had to explain to the biology teacher why I was ISO
17:55 isoraqathedh Why you were me, or why you were the International Standards Organization?
17:55 Schazer NO
17:55 Pharmacy iso?
17:55 Schazer YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE STRAIGHT MAN
17:55 isoraqathedh Well, I don't know, you could pretend to be the International Standards Organization.
17:56 Pharmacy in order for pubic hair to be an effective bookmark I think you need to braid it
17:56 Pharmacy into a book ribbon
17:56 Schazer I was
17:56 Pharmacy an adorable gross book ribbon
17:56 NotTheAuthor I think the hair would have to be long to get stuck in the middle of the crack in the first place
17:56 Schazer going to say "I had to explain to the biology teacher why I was smirking into my scarf"
17:56 NotTheAuthor as it were
17:56 Pharmacy NTA it's more like
17:56 Pharmacy tiny snippies

E:

18:00 Schazer this is going on the kitchen fridge
18:00 Schazer I hope you're all proud of yourselves
18:01 Pharmacy going into the public? more like going into the PUBIC
18:01 Pharmacy (okay I'll stop)
18:01 Schazer WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
18:01 isoraqathedh Where you can find ocelots! And iron.

<Chwoka> my boner got stuck in a vacuum once :(

true chwoka facts

<Slorange> Alright ye sonnef of bitchef
<Slorange> Cease your grousing, the awards are awarded
<Schazer> come again, ptarmigan?
<Slorange> Don't make me cormorant over there
<Schazer> I'm in this to penguin this now
*** Solaris quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Schazer> (that'd technically be the worst possible option because it's about as non-northern a bird as you can get)
<Schazer> (you could say it's)
<Schazer> (the polar opposite)
<Slorange> >:o
*** Solaris joined #grandbattle
<Solaris> that was so bad i disconnected
<Slorange> Oh, it got worse
<Schazer> it went south
<Schazer> reallllly quickly
<Slorange> SCHAZER
<Solaris> exactly
<Schazer> :D

Posteditry:

<Schazer> https://pastebin.com/VkTuuG87
<Schazer> fuck it this is going in IRC highlights
<Sanzh> solaris are these puns making you albatross
<Solaris> im not clicking that link
<Solaris> im ot going to look at the IRC highlights thread
<Schazer> Sollie don't make this aukward

---A couple minutes later---

<Slorange> Like I said though, nobody really deserved 20Q this round
<Garuru> i get that
<Slorange> With the possible exception of Ice Cube
<Slorange> But then who would I give above the fold to
<Slorange> Also cold. wet. DANGEROUS made me laugh
<Solaris> THE POLAR OPPOSITE
<Solaris> IT WENT SOUTH REALLY QUICLY
<Schazer> hahahahahahahahaha
<Solaris> YOU FUCKING TRASH

11:55 Paranoia is it a sing of progress in spelunky that i now die horribly on the jungle (due to lack of decent equipment) rather than the mines now.
11:56 Schazer sing a song of progress
11:56 Schazer a pocket full of DIE
11:56 Slorange A pocket f–
11:56 Slorange Fuck you Schazer
11:56 Slorange Fuck you and your my-joke
11:56 Schazer high-fives herself
11:56 Paranoia SIGN
11:56 Schazer signing internally
11:56 Paranoia i like outpacing myself. also.
11:57 Paranoia gutpunches Schazer.
11:57 Schazer deals to Para's groinal region with a baseball bat

On the topic of Paradox Space, the Homestuck side comic anthology... thing.

<MrGuy> Paradox Space will feature many short comic stories involving literally any characters and settings from Homestuck. Any point in canon could be visited and elaborated on, whether it's backstory, some scenes that were skipped over or alluded to, funny hypothetical scenarios which have nothing to do with canon events, or exploring things that could have happened in canon through the "doomed timeline" mechanic that is a defining trait of Homestuck's multiverse-continuum known as "paradox space". There is a WHOLE LOT of fun stuff we can do here; and we will!
<Sanzh> I mean
<Sanzh> this is just confirming what we already knew
<DragonFogel> "It is nothing short of The Greatest Tragedy that a beloved story is held hostage to the ability of a single artist to continue creating it."
<Sanzh> that hussie lost direction of homestuck a while ago and the project's collapsed under its own weight
<Jacquerel> apparently he's not writing it himself
<Mjilner> i cannot believe that's an actual quote

<MrGuy> homestuck 24-hour news network
<MrGuy> homestuck ice cream
<MrGuy> homestuck real estate and insurance
<Elpie> It somehow merges into mainstream comics and Marvel/DC/Image/Hussie become the Big Four
<Jacquerel> mountain dew sponsorship
<DragonFogel> It's like he's finding an entirely new way to be Jim Davis.
<Elpie> Each of them just farms for Hollywood properties
<Akumu> I applaud Hussie for finding a market and sucking the last drop of marrow out of its bones before it loses interest

<Elpie> Everything will get rebooted
<Elpie> Homestuck will eventually be a major motion picture
<MrGuy> Please, Elpie
<MrGuy> It'll be like six
<Elpie> Yeah
<Garuru> what i really want is for the brand to just die off after it ends, then the fans can reflect on how dumb it all was
<Elpie> Yeah that will never happen
<Garuru> (not happening tho)
<Elpie> Nothing ever dies
<MrGuy> I wanted that too, but alas
<Jacquerel> it'll be nine and there'll be a twelve year gap between the penultimate film and the climax
<MrGuy> jac: Nice
<Jacquerel> has to be a trilogy of trilogies
<Elpie> Maybe Disney will buy it and it'll get smushed into the MCU
<Garuru> oh oh maybe theyll do a musical with one direction
<Jacquerel> kingdom hearts homestuck level
<MrGuy> John Egbert Meets Thor
<Elpie> Nah, it'll be in ten years
<Elpie> All the major characters' actors will have ran out their contracts by that point
<Elpie> So, John Egbert meets Groot, maybe

[23:36] <Schazer> I dunno Para I'd peg you

<isoraqathedh> I like cars. They are the cutest 3-ton metallic monsters that eat gasoline and fart carbon dioxide.

The struggle.

[20:07:05] <Loather> grace hopper died two days before i was born
[20:08:11] <Loather> also theres a destroyer named after her
[20:10:28] <Chwoka> maybe one day they'll name a destroyer after you
[20:10:34] <Chwoka> a star destroyer, in space
[20:10:41] <Schazer> Loather already is a destroyer
[20:10:43] <Schazer> of hearts
[20:10:48] <Loather> B)
[20:10:56] <Chwoka> destroy 'er? i hardly know 'er!
[20:11:08] <Loather> 'a 'a 'a
[20:11:53] <Chwoka> i've got a dog with no nose
[20:12:04] <Chwoka> ask me the question, come on, ask me the question
[20:13:46] <Chwoka> fine i'll skip to the answer
[20:13:48] <Chwoka> awful!
[20:15:31] <Chwoka> ok here's one i can do by myself:
[20:15:34] <Chwoka> timing!
[20:15:47] <Chwoka> hey do you know what the most important part of comedy is?
[20:16:37] <Loather> timing!
[20:16:53] <Chwoka> awful!
[20:17:03] <Loather> how does it smell?
[20:17:22] <Loather> (we're getting into some real avant-garde territory here chwoka)
[20:17:27] <Chwoka> hey, knock knock
[20:18:21] <Kaynato> knock knock
[20:19:03] <Chwoka> knock knock
[20:19:25] <Ixcaliber> i don't think anybody's home
[20:19:42] <Chwoka> Ixcaliber: who's there?
[20:20:01] <Ixcaliber> it's you
[20:20:36] <Chwoka> it's you who?
[20:21:12] <Ixcaliber> it's you who was knocking on the door in the first place you should know who's there
[20:21:33] <Chwoka> it's me, banana
[20:22:01] <Ixcaliber> i'm glad you didn't say orange
[20:22:08] <Loather> again?
[20:22:16] <Loather> knock knock
[20:22:17] <Kaynato> no, a loss
[20:22:17] <Chwoka> banana you glad i didn't say orange!?!
[20:22:20] <Schazer> who's there
[20:22:25] <Loather> it's me, banana
[20:22:32] <Schazer> hi banana!
[20:22:32] <Chwoka> it's you, banana, who?
[20:22:33] <Kaynato> it was grapefruit all along
[20:22:38] <Schazer> come on in
[20:22:42] <Loather> thank you
[20:22:44] <Schazer> haven't seen you in ages, what's been happening
[20:22:52] * Loather wipes shoes off on welcome mat before coming in
[20:23:02] <Loather> not much, not much
[20:23:17] <Schazer> cool cool
[20:23:23] * Chwoka lies down banana peels at Loather's feet while they walk, snickers to themselves
[20:23:24] <Schazer> you want a cup of tea or something?
[20:23:43] <Schazer> If you've got the time, I could call Shelley, tell her you're in town
[20:24:03] <Loather> oh, i dont know about that
[20:24:16] <Loather> i heard shelley's uncle just got the rheumatisms
[20:24:31] <Schazer> shit, really?
[20:24:38] <Loather> yeah, fraid so
[20:24:54] <Schazer> I didn't think he was much more than sixty
[20:25:19] <Loather> hes too young for this shit
[20:25:21] <Ixcaliber> is this still a joke
[20:25:28] <Schazer> are you laughing, Ix
[20:25:30] <Chwoka> Ixcaliber: yes we're getting to it
[20:25:34] <Schazer> rheumatism's pretty serious
[20:25:45] <Ixcaliber> everyone get out of my house
[20:25:54] <Schazer> don't mind Ix
[20:26:09] <Schazer> he just got told a really bad knock-knock joke once and now he's very twitchy about it
[20:26:17] <Schazer> anyway, the jug's boiled, did you want tea or coffee?
[20:26:43] <Loather> whoa, you boiled water in a jug?
[20:27:02] <Schazer> haha, right, you're from outside the Commonwealth
[20:27:07] <Schazer> you guys call it a kettle? Pot?
[20:27:19] <Chwoka> i call it black, either way
[20:27:21] <Loather> a kettle :v
[20:27:32] <Loather> chwokaaa
[20:27:33] <Schazer> hah, right
[20:27:34] <Loather> you joker
[20:27:43] <Schazer> ok so two sugars, no milk for Chwoka
[20:27:45] * Loather slaps chwoka on the back
[20:28:00] <Schazer> sorry banana, I never remember, you take yours with milk don'tcha
[20:28:14] <Chwoka> joker? i hardly know 'er!
[20:28:30] * Chwoka slips on the banana peels he left on the ground earlier
[20:28:36] <Chwoka> WOAH OH OH OH OH OH!
[20:29:02] <Loather> ; n;
[20:29:19] <Loather> my family......
[20:29:31] <Schazer> aw jeez no banana
[20:29:33] <Schazer> what happened
[20:29:38] * Schazer glares at Chwoka
[20:29:47] * Loather points to the peels on the floor
[20:30:09] * Loather lowers finger towards chwoka
[20:30:11] <Loather> you
[20:30:13] <Loather> killed them
[20:30:28] <Chwoka> killed 'em? darn near rectum!
[20:30:35] <Schazer> ah, shit, no
[20:30:40] <Schazer> they're nobody you know!
[20:31:08] <Schazer> I've been trying to keep him locked up at night
[20:31:30] <Schazer> but it's hard, ok?
[20:31:49] <Schazer> The neighbours keep whispering and I'm sick of it
[20:32:00] <Loather> ; n;
[20:32:07] <Schazer> I can't just keep him shut up in that house by himself all the time
[20:32:21] <Schazer> look
[20:32:23] * Loather cradles a banana peel in her arms and sobs
[20:32:24] <Schazer> it's nobody
[20:32:25] <Schazer> you know
[20:32:46] <Schazer> it's just some bum off the street, I checked his pockets and everything
[20:32:47] <Loather> this banana coulda been someone
[20:32:52] <Loather> they were just a kid...........
[20:33:13] <Schazer> I know it's not ideal but
[20:33:16] * Schazer gestures angrily at Chwoka
[20:33:21] <Schazer> what am I supposed to do with him!?
[20:33:32] <Schazer> you fucking ran out on me
[20:33:37] <Schazer> left me to deal with this mess by myself
[20:34:17] <Schazer> you should be thanking me, asshole
[20:34:22] <Schazer> I'm keeping casualties to a minimum
[20:34:44] * Chwoka stares at a snowglobe
[20:34:47] <Loather> we should resolve this situation through song
[20:34:51] <Loather> and dance
[20:34:54] * Schazer sighs
[20:34:55] <Schazer> yeah ok
[20:36:08] <Chwoka> okay if you're gonna start doing the horizontal tango again i'll go into the next room
[20:36:27] <Loather> chwoka gravity doesnt work that way
[20:36:28] * Schazer throws a pistachio shell at Chwoka
[20:36:30] <Schazer> GO
[20:36:36] <Schazer> GET OUT
[20:36:42] <Schazer> SEE IF I FUCKING CARE ANY MORE
[20:37:25] * Schazer grabs her car keys, storms out the front door
[20:38:13] * Schazer sheds a single tear
[20:36:57] <DragonFogel> To get to the other side!
[20:37:09] * DragonFogel COMEDY
[20:37:23] <Loather> damn, nice 1
[20:38:48] <Chwoka> ok good knock knock joke everybody
[20:38:52] <Chwoka> applause all around
[20:39:00] * Schazer takes a bow

The following pun string contains only pane and misery

Show Content

Spoiler13:07 Slorange Schazer
13:07 Slorange You can never escape GBII feelings
13:08 Slorange You inflicted Paris on the world, and inflicted the world on Paris
13:08 Schazer much gibs
13:08 Slorange In just the last round
13:08 NotTheAuthor so ied
13:08 Schazer Paris is still one of my favourite stealth puns
13:08 Solaris .................pardon
13:08 Schazer https://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parison
13:08 NotTheAuthor And so we come full circle
13:09 NotTheAuthor to "what would make solaris cry"
13:09 Solaris bye
13:09 Solaris bye,
13:09 Solaris good
13:09 Solaris bye
13:09 *** Solaris is now known as SolarAway
13:09 Slorange So long
13:09 NotTheAuthor it's been bun
13:09 SolarAway has work tmoz so they are actually going to bed
13:10 SolarAway WOW
13:10 NotTheAuthor *pun
13:10 Schazer did I win(dow)
13:10 Schazer it'shard to come up with quality like this
13:11 Slorange Come on Schazer, stop it
13:11 Slorange You're so transparent
13:11 Schazer am I being
13:11 Schazer silica?
13:11 DragonFogel *sun
13:11 NotTheAuthor kind of a glasshat
13:11 Schazer there's no use bottling these things up
13:12 Slorange That one was pretty lame, you're going to need to come up with something really good to save vase
13:12 Schazer though if you were mid-conversation before I start doing shit like this
13:12 Schazer it can be
13:12 Schazer jarring
13:13 Akumu *crickets*
13:13 Slorange Oh, canister it
13:13 NotTheAuthor not thislagain
13:13 Schazer don't be glaze-y
13:14 Slorange I don't think that's verre to say
13:15 Schazer oop there's the bell
13:15 Schazer I'd best be Venetian
13:15 Schazer I should make an appearance later though
13:15 Slorange Eh, that's alright
13:15 Slorange This run wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyway
13:15 NotTheAuthor Seeya 'round
13:15 PickYerPoison i'm going to defenestrate someone
13:15 NotTheAuthor We'll all be better prepared next time

[00:18] <Schazer> how many MRAs does it take to change a light bulb
[00:18] <Pharmacy> heh
[00:18] <Schazer> not all of them
[00:18] <MrGuy> hahaha

Apparently this validates my existence, and I want to continue existing.

[01:41] <Schazzzz> are you g3tting enugh dietary fibre
[01:41] <Schazzzz> go eat a tree
[01:41] <PickYerPoison> "me-me beast" sounds like something out of rice boy
[01:41] <Schazzzz> come backw when youre done
[01:41] <PickYerPoison> trees are tough :(
[01:42] <Schazzzz> itll build character asswipe
[01:42] <Schazzzz> i ate atree once
[01:42] <Mirdini> how'd it taste
[01:42] <Schazzzz> would rank in top;v fiv e lifewaffirming exercises
[01:42] <Schazzzz> did you knw there are o ver fortyn different uses for a tree
[01:43] <Schazzzz> some of whci annoetbe explained by science
[01:43] <Schazzzz> traeditional tree ujses\ makes use of the whole tree
[01:43] <Mirdini> not even tree science
[01:43] <Mirdini> ?!???!
[01:43] <Schazzzz> so nothing i s wasteed
[01:43] <Schazzzz> not eve n arborists can tell us al lthere is to tell
[01:43] <Mirdini> are there 40 words for tree in some language
[01:43] <AgenGC> schaz are you malky now
[01:43] <PickYerPoison> i'm pretty sure she is
[01:44] <PickYerPoison> 40 is nothing trees ain't peanuts
[01:44] <Schazzzz> youre peanus
[01:44] <Schazzzz> little dirt legumes
[01:44] <AgenGC> and that's going in the vault
[01:44] <Schazzzz> if that validates youre xistence then sure
[01:44] <AgenGC> it does, a little bit
[01:45] <Mirdini> vault-dwelling existence
[01:45] <AgenGC> some things need to be shared, if only to look back on them the next morning
[01:45] <Mirdini> agen are you the fallout protagonist
[01:45] <PickYerPoison> yesssss