Make A Wish

>Rub the lamp

You rub the lamp releasing the genie from inside. Finally your long and exciting journey has reached its conclusion. All that remains is to wish for whatever you desire and it will be yours.
...

You suddenly find yourself stumped, after coming all this way you realise you are not sure what you want to wish for...

>

>Wish for infinite wishes.

>Barring that, wish for (n+1) wishes.

>You want to RULE THE WORLD of course!

>Wish for infinite wishes.

Oh yeah that's always a good one.


"I wish for Infinite Wishes." You say, taking care to needlessly capitalise the name of your wish.
"Okay sure." The genie replies.
"What, really?" You ask. "That never works."
"Yep, totally." The genie replies. "I love granting wishes."
"Oh cool."

>

Let's start simple since we've got plenty of testing room.

Wish for a sandwich.

>Wish for the power to FART RAINBOWS.

Wish... for true love.

Let's start simple since we've got plenty of testing room.

Wish for a sandwich.

Make sure it's got bacon on it.

>Wish you knew what to wish for. Since you have infinite wishes, this won't be wasted!

>You want to RULE THE WORLD of course!

"I wish to RULE THE WORLD!" You say, capitalising your wish for dramatic effect.
"Coming right up." The genie replies.



You are now President-King of the World, in your Presiregal Office. Something strikes you as odd about this office. Perhaps its the bars on the windows. Now you think about it they are probably not a normal feature of a Presiregal Office.
"What's the deal with the bars?" You ask.
"That's to keep your enraged subjects at bay." The genie replies. "What you thought you could just rule the world and people wouldn't object to your completely undemocratic rise to power?"
"Well, yeah I guess I kind of did." You say.

Wish for a sandwich.

"Well nevermind that." You say. "I wish I had a sandwich."
"Done." The genie says.

Make sure it's got bacon on it.

"Wait I wanted it to have bacon on it." You say.
"Well it doesn't." The genie says. "You should have specified that at the time."

>

>Wish for a BETTER sandwich with bacon on it. And also that your subjects all submitted happily to your rule.

> Wish for an end to world hunger and poverty and all that jazz

> Wish for an end to world hunger and poverty and all that jazz

Do not wish for an end to all jazz.

>Wish for a hug. Being the President-King is stressful and no one loves you.

>>Wish that your subjects would never be enraged. Because you really don't want those bars on your window.

Wait, I know how this goes.

> Wish that he'll stop being a total bitch and granting you wishes in ways that you find implicitly unsatisfactory. If he tries weaseling out of it, just tell him to tell you the exact effect every wish will have before he grants it.

>Wish for a BETTER sandwich with bacon on it.

"I wish I had an awesome bacon sandwich instead of this cruddy purple sandwich. Seriously I don't even know what this filling is." You say.
"Can't do it." The genie replies. "It's in the rules."
"What?" You ask. "One of your rules is no half-decent sandwiches?"
"No." The genie replies. "One of our rules is that no wish can contradict a previous wish. Essentially no backsies. I guess I suppose that should be one the things I mention up front but I always forget. Whatever you know now."

> Wish for an end to world hunger and poverty and all that jazz

You opt to put this sandwich thing to one side for now and focus on the fact that most everyone on the planet hates you. You quickly come to the conclusion that if you use your powers for good they will eventually come to see that you are a genuinely good guy and stop being so pissed at you.
"I wish for an end to world hunger and poverty." You say.
"Done." The genie replies.


Hmm... This doesn't look better. This looks distinctly worse.
"But I solved world hunger and poverty. How come people hate me even more?" You ask. The secret service guy who is now stationed in your office to protect you at all times chirps up.


"You fed the poor to the hungry." He says. "Sure I guess it solves those problems but not in a way that makes anybody like you."

>>Wish that your subjects would never be enraged. Because you really don't want those bars on your window.

"Okay." You say. "Lets try this again; I wish that my subjects didn't hate me."
"Done."


This is more like it. Windows blessedly free of bars... No noisy rabble outside clamouring for your blood... What's the catch?
"Hey secret service guy." You say. "What precisely happened that caused everyone to like me now?"


He looked thoughtful for a moment before suddenly piping up.
"Oh yeah. There was some bad people who were very nasty about you. I almost forgot." He grinned stupidly. "You ordered that everyone had to have this operation to make everything nice and happy because you are the best king and we all love you very much." You frown and cross your arms.
"What are you still doing here then?" You ask. "If everyone loves me then why do I need protection?"
"There was some mean old people who didn't want the nice surgery and went on the run." He said. "My job keep you safe!"
"Great." You say. "This day just gets better and better."

Show Content

Spoiler

Wait, I know how this goes.

> Wish that he'll stop being a total bitch and granting you wishes in ways that you find implicitly unsatisfactory. If he tries weaseling out of it, just tell him to tell you the exact effect every wish will have before he grants it.

This in the next update.

> Inquire further on the nature of the implants. Specifically, if the subjects retain any free will whatsoever.

If so, PARTY TIME AT THE PALACE WOOOOO

Wish for transcendent dancin' skills.

>Ask the genie why he can't just undo wishes.

> Wish for a better suit! The best suit.

>Wish for the ability to grant your own dang wishes in whatever manner you please without being bound to any kind of rules or servitude or being a genie or not being human

>Wish for a TARDIS

>Wish for the ability to grant your own dang wishes in whatever manner you please without being bound to any kind of rules or servitude or being a genie or not being human

But the genie loves granting wishes! D:

> Wish for no more wishing rules! Ha! They can't catch you, because it's not against no rules!