The Road To Arctic Base Winnipeg (TWS)

> mentally designate HOBO as EMERGENCY RATIONS

> Consider other USELESS OBJECTS you might trade for COMESTIBLES.

Delegate someone to sweep up the SHITLOAD OF DUST, then maybe play around on a computer!

Head to the living room! Ask Randall what's up; what's on television; how he feels about sweeping up dust.

You head into the living room, which contains TWO COUCHES, a COFFEE TABLE, a TELEVISION, a STEREO, various BOOKS AND MAGAZINES, a CANVAS AND PAINT, everyone's SUITCASES, a couple windows, and some more TASTEFUL CARPETING. There also appears to be a LIVE HOUSECAT next to Randall, as well as a PILE OF VARIOUS TOOLS AND WHATNOT at his feet, cluttering up the place.

"Hey, Boss. They're about to broadcast the television premiere of GHOSTBUSTERS. If you wanna watch something else, I have a VCR and several CASETTE TAPES in my SUITCASE."

"Maybe later, Randall. How do you feel about cleaning up the cargo room?"

He looks thoughtful for a moment. "Hm... I could do it, but I'd need a VACUUM, since I'm not good at regular sweeping and we don't have a BROOM anyway. I could probably cobble together a VACUUM with some WHEELS, a DUST-HOLDING BAG, some SCRAP METAL, some KNOBS OR VALVES, and some STALE BREAD. Oh, and ELIZA'S UNDERWEAR."

You don't find him deserving of a scowl, so instead you just sigh. "First of all, stop shouting IMPORTANT WORDS at me, Randall. Second, that's sexual harrassment."

He shrugs. "You could get me HOBO-GUY'S UNDERWEAR or MICHAEL'S UNDERWEAR, too, but I need something to function as a FAN BELT."

"Uh... yeah, okay, I'll see what I can do." You can't tell whether he's covering his ass, joking, or completely serious, and you're not sure you want to find out.

> Get the hobo to shower by implying that he will get extra food for dinner tonight once he has done so. Fail to mention that dinner is artificial falafel cereal.

On that note, you head to the COCKPIT, which has a bunch of BUTTONS AND SWITCHES AND DISPLAYS AND SHIT, as well as a GLOVEBOX and both a DRIVER'S SEAT and PASSENGER'S SEAT (the latter unoccupied). You tap the HOBO on the shoulder.

"Hey, tell you what. You take a nice, long shower tonight, you get double rations."

"Fuck yeah, old-timer." He holds out a fist. You are unsure what this means, so you just smile and say thanks.

While the HOBO is showering, steal his underwear. Maybe disinfect it first. Or don't.

While the HOBO is showering, steal his underwear. Maybe disinfect it first. Or don't.

Eventually, the HOBO gets tired of driving. You have RANDALL take over.

"Hey, Hobo Jones."

"My name is Mac Riddle, sir..."

"Whatever. You were going to take that shower, right?"

"Oh, yeah! I'll get right on that." He heads into the bathroom and starts the water flowing. You wait a couple minutes, then sneak in and...

Go to the kitchen, get some paper towels, and then sneak in again and hesitantly grab his GROTTY HOBO UNDERTHINGS. You guess this is progress, of a sort. Speaking of which, you might want to check on Michael and Eliza.

>Check on Eliza first.

> but be sneaky about it

> Wait, who's driving?

> Wait, who's driving?

Randall, naturally. You'd never LEAVE THE COCKPIT without ANYONE DRIVING. That would surely lead to HILARIOUS HIJINKS and that sort of thing is going to interfere with moving product!

>Check on Eliza first.

> but be sneaky about it

You sidle into the OFFICE. There are two MJOLNIRs set up; Eliza types away at one, and Michael at the other. You get down on the ground and belly-crawl over to Eliza.

Dear god, she's playing some TEXT ADVENTURE GAME instead of working! You make note of this just as she looks down. "Boss, what the fuck are you doing?"

Your cover has been blown! What now?!

> Quick, Alt-tab! Maybe her code's compiling!

>Claim you were inspecting the floor.

Throw the underthings and run.

>Claim you were inspecting the floor.

"I was just, uh... making sure the floor's all nice and... clean."

Michael pipes up. "Then why have you been staring directly at Eliza's computer screen for the past five minutes?"

Shit, they're on to you! Abort! Abort!

Throw the underthings and run.

Eliza gets a FACE-FUL of HOBO UNDERTHINGS. She and Michael are rendered speechless long enough for you to escape the room.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a road sign through a window... 20 MILES TO NEW YORK. You hope New Yorkers don't mind dust.

Feel regret. To avoid confrontation, take over at the wheel?

Maybe you can do something like RELAX for a moment? The HOBO is taking a shower, the mice have nothing to do, and you're so busy trying to micromanage things that you're gonna end up with a popped vein before the trip is halfway throough. You're twenty minutes out from having to trade with or fight the natives of the Big Apple.

No need to get your ulcers in a knot.