The Priest is DEAD, GOD ABANDONED HUMANITY YEARS AGO

Tell me your sins, child.

My sin is that I'm too perfect and therefore inspire envy in others.

I am the master of gluttony. I ate. Everything.

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

Can I have seconds?

As an actual ordained minister, I find this very offensive

You know what, nah, we chill

I don't even remember if my church has a god to get irate on behalf of

My sins are d/dx -cos(x), y"+y=0 y(0)=0 y'(0)=1, (e^iz-e^-iz)/2i and x-x³/3!+x⁵/5!-x⁷/7!+...

Father forgive me, for I could not think of a confession related joke and instead resorted to cheap meta-humour.

I secretly ate everyone.

even i haven't tried that yet

My sin is that I'm too perfect and therefore inspire envy in others.

Don't worry, child. That feeling of pride will disappear in time, as you grow in age, and as such, closer to the lord. When you're a wrinkly lump wasting away, you will not be envied.

Penance: 10 jumping jacks.

I am the master of gluttony. I ate. Everything.

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

Can I have seconds?

The lord our god gives only to those whom excuseth themselves. Also, you didn't finish your glass of milk. God wants to see you grow strong bones.

Penance: finish that milk.

As an actual ordained minister, I find this very offensive

God the almighty, creator of heaven and earth, knows your sins, and forgives you for your deceit.

Penance: Holy Orders. You must now actually become a priest.

\my sin is the sin of STEALING. I commat the sin of robbery, against your hairstyle. Tel me what I gotta do to be square even with you so I can get it done with.

Not a sin.

Penance: stay fresh.

My sins are d/dx -cos(x), y"+y=0 y(0)=0 y'(0)=1, (e^iz-e^-iz)/2i and x-x³/3!+x⁵/5!-x⁷/7!+...

That's a lot of sins, but God forgives those who seek forgiveness.

Penance: 103 Hail Mary's.

I secretly hate everyone.

Don't tell anyone priest

It happens. Remember Noah's Arc, where the world was flooded and human life was almost entirely wiped out?

Penance: no meat for the next Friday.

Father forgive me, for I could not think of a confession related joke and instead resorted to cheap meta-humour.

You are no son of mine.

Penance: 12 years dungeon, 7 years no trials.

My sins are d/dx -cos(x), y"+y=0 y(0)=0 y'(0)=1, (e^iz-e^-iz)/2i and x-x³/3!+x⁵/5!-x⁷/7!+...

That's a lot of sins, but God forgives those who seek forgiveness.

Penance: 103 Hail Mary's.

ok ok is the answer actually 103. i want to know

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Penance: 103 Hail Mary's.

Great. And I don't even have a copy of Madden.

WARNING: GRATUITOUS MATH BELOW SPOILER

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ok ok is the answer actually 103. i want to know

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It's just four different ways of representing the sine function.

d/dx -cos(x) is sin(x), from the derivatives of trigonometric functions
y"+y=0 is a second-order linear ordinary differential equation. The coefficient of y is 1, hence the solution is of the form y=c₁cos(x)+c₂sin(x). The conditions of y(0)=0 and y'(0)=1 mean that c₁=0 and c₂=1, so the solution is y=sin(x)
(e^iz-e^-iz)/2i is the definition of the complex sine function, sin(z)
And finally, the last expression is the Maclaurin Series expansion for sin(x). It's calculated by f(x)=f(0)+f'(0)x+f"(0)x²/2!+f‴(0)x³/3!+... Since the n^th derivative of sin(x) at 0 is 1 for n=4k+1, -1 for n=4k+3, and 0 for n=2k, it's only the odd terms with alternating signs.

So I had sin(x), y=sin(x), sin(z), and sin(x). That sure is a lot of sins.

Is it a sin to eat the last pizza because if so I need to know how much damage I've done to my soul.

Is it a sin to eat the last pizza because if so I need to know how much damage I've done to my soul.

No damage that can't be repaired!

Penance: make a pizza.

I didn't buy snacks for my friends for this week's board game night.

I didn't buy snacks for my friends for this week's board game night.

Neither did I. There is nothing God will do to help you there.

Penace: N/A

Penance: 103 Hail Mary's.

DONE.

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And 47 extra, just to be secure. Never mind the fact that the lowest scoring unit was 50 points, that had no impact on the scorenumber of hail mary's.

Nope, the Sabbath is now only on the night of Friday the 13th and the following Saturday. That way, the pagans who still believe in "bad luck" and "karma" can have fear of the lord instilled into them! Black cats have no power over God, he who giveths and takeths away, and God's holy children must realize this and pray for his continual mercy.

(Donating to the church doesn't hurt.)

According to a trustworthy source, my sins are "bad farts, tickling, and cold hands."

I am going to the hell aren't I

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Kieros you forgot Ft^-1[i * sqrt(π/2) * δ(ω - 1) - i * sqrt(π/2) * δ(ω + 1)](t) and ∫ e^-ix/2 + e^ix/2 dx

My sin is showing off with math

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e^ix=cos x + i*sin x
(e^-ix)/2 + (e^ix/2) = (cos x)/2 - (i*sin x)/2 + (cos x)/2 + (i*sin x)/2
= cos x
d/dx sin x = cos x
therefore sin x = the integral of (e^-ix)/2 + (e^ix/2)

the other one involves fourier analysis and that's quite a bit harder to explain but it's basically f^-1(f(sin x)), just using a very difficult function for f.

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