Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Hey, the more whalefighters who join in, the more glorious my victory shall be.

Come on in and get me, suckers.

I thought this was a whale fight. Keep the cephalopods out of it.

You seem to be a dangerous man, Sruix.

I like that...

Oh yeah btw Bread you're dead meat tonight.

Mr. Pidge was pretty ticked about not getting something to chew on last night.

Shank: TwoPrimes

Oh yeah btw Bread you're dead meat tonight.

Mr. Pidge was pretty ticked about not getting something to chew on last night.

Wouldn't I be

...dead bread B)

So apparently you need to post your intention for whale battling in this thread. SO I'm doing that now.

Yes, yes, more blood for the whale gods. I approve.

Hrnf. Y'may 'xsist, but y'ain't done nuthin' ei'r. 'Wever, same can't b'said of Prime, an' they're closer t'the choppin' block nowabouts, anyhow. Not what I ain't keepin' m'eye on ya, Mikee, but vote: Prime Intellect.

Barkeep, mix'm up somm'n what might make 'nother man soun' likened t'my voc'lizations. Any luck'n it'll loop'm back 'round t' a dubiously-acc'rate state a' normality.

Mmmmmmnnn.

Ugh. Ugh. Who let off the whale cry. Who let off the whalesong. Is this all just going to be one long string of ludicrousness? Like hell I'm going in that portal, it's probably sixteen times as loud in there, and wouldn't it be underwater? I liked the pool better than this.

So we murdered a zombie and are on track to murder the prime intellect of everybody, are we? Sounds good to me. Maybe then you'll all shut up.

Vote: Prime Intellect

Oh yeah btw Bread you're dead meat tonight.

Mr. Pidge was pretty ticked about not getting something to chew on last night.

Wouldn't I be

...dead bread B)

I think your jokes have gone stale.

Shank Prime!

Vote: Prime

Jump into the portal on an exploding moped motorcycle

wow dang
Niall what is the sweetest drink you know how to make
and i mean literally sweetest not metaphorically
hit me w/ one of those

Niall, I'm a teetotaler. What have you got in the non-alcoholic department?

OK, I can two for one this. Mix: Sucrose Nest

Sucrose Nest (serves 2)
Refined Sugar (not powdered or icing sugar though)
50g Mixed Berries (I'll be using Wild Strawberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Loganberries and Snozberries.)
Lime Juice
Elder Berry Cordial
500ml Lemonade
2 Teaspoons of Thaumatin
30ml Gin (optional)
60ml Bartender's Secret

Rim two Collin's glasses with lime juice then the refined sugar, leaving a crust on the rims. Dissolve the Thaumatin in the Lemonade by stirring well.
In each glass place half the berries along with 30ml of Bartender's Secret. Muddle the berries with your muddler.
Place ice in the glasses then fill each glass five sixths of the way (or there abouts) with your sweetened lemonade. Add a dash of lime juice and a dash of elderberry cordial to each glass. Optionally, you can add the Gin now too.
Stir well. Serve.

*ding* *ding* *di-

I leap into the portal

"GET BACK HERE! I STILL NEED YOU TO SERVE OUR PAT-nope, Truegreen's gone."

alright niall we should set up some sort of nice treat house for when all of these portal jumpers get back ill make some BAKED GOODS for them

Once again, Solaris has won my heart on an internet forum. So I'll start on the brownie foundations! I'm thinking maybe the roof could be a giant muffin top perhaps. Or did you mean "house that serves baked goods", not "house made out of baked goods" because I am still DOWN FOR THAT! And how did you even know that I would choose not to jump into the portal?

Hope, Love, Booze

I WILL HANDLE THE STRAWBERRY TARTS ONCE I'VE FINISHED UPGRADING THIS MIGHTY MACHINE.

Hey can you throw some pastries into the portal while you at it. Tearing the fabric of space-time a la whale is hard work.

♪_Whales? So What._♪

Prime Intellect - 14 (yd12k, Palamedes, Truegreen, Phish, Schazer, LegendaryQ, Scoffles, makerofthegames, Sai, Not The Author, AgentBlue, bigro, Plaid, Granolaman)
Granolaman - 4 (TehPilot, Crowstone, Gnauga, antisequitur)
Solaris - 1 (konec0)
speedchuck - 1 (Whimbrel)
Whimbrel - 1 (speedchuck)
amosmyn - 1 (Sruixan)
"The other Prime" - 1 (cyber95)
"TwoPrimes" - 1 (amosmyn)

Abstaining - 22 (Solaris, Akumu, Seedy, Sanzh, Prime Intellect, Dalmationer, x1372, Breadpocalypse, beruru, Mikeee, Loather, Pharmacy, Coldblooded, Chwoka, Pharas, SupahKiven, anacreon, Demonsul, Deviant One, Niall, Dragon Fogel, Acionyx)

With 46 bitches alive it takes 24 bitches to groupshank. Day Three ends in ~51 hours at 6:00 PM EST on Friday, August 1st.

Phase One of WHALE DUEL: BATTLE ROYALE: THE ADVENTURE ends in 1 hour.

again i cast a vote for whoever has the most votes

oh good, we're lynching prime. I was thinking of stabbing him the other night but I forgot and stabbed someone else
groupshank: Prime Intellect

Shank: TwoPrimes

hasn't he suffered enough?

anyways. whale portal time (at the last second)



later losers

WHALE DUEL: BATTLE ROYALE: PHASE 2

Seedy zips into the portal a scant moment before it transforms into a stormy vortex of whale energy, forcing everyone nearby back. A few seconds later it implodes, leaving only a plaintive whale cry behind.

The Battle has begun!

The contestants:

Pharmacy!
Dragon Fogel!
Sruixan!
Scoffles!
Granolaman!
Palamedes!
Truegreen!
Schazer!
yd12k!
Seedy!

Each one will face challenges, betrayals and a whole bunch of cetacean weaponry in their fight for glory and survival - but only the ELDER WHALE'S FACTS will ever hint at these grand adventures. Let's tune in, shall we...?

You (the assembled non-contestants, dead or alive) now have 24 hours to submit TWO FACTS (or more, should they prefer) about the battle in your Quicktopic, guidelines noted in the earlier rules post. Should you require any clarifications just ask in there as well.

Contestants have nothing to do but BATTLE IT OUT (which realtalk means sit back and relax for this phase because you're up in the next one).

oh shit i missed wail portal
oh well
i drink da drink. i shank uhhh
lemme think about taht actually

Meanwhile I will Vote: Prime so we edge closer to doing something interesting while waiting for the whale fight to end

Uh

Primo ShankVote

shank prime

Shank: Prime seems like a prime choice at this point