Adventurers plops, ripe for the grabbing

Originally posted by a deleted user

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ITT: Post adventure plots you'll never use but someone else might.

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As promised, the inaugural adventure plop:

An adventure set in a city where the main industry can be accurately described as something to do with "butt runoff".

It has been over a decade since Ron Paul's Weed Apocalypse ravaged the earth. You are rushing through the dim, dank streets of Neo Washington, slowing only as you stumble over a few cyberskeletons. An eerie glow starts to light up the sky; you're running out of time. The Cult of the Sacred Blaze has no mercy for the weak.

The three mosqueeters. Has nothing to do with the three musketeers. They're just hella annoying.

You are a teacher of a class somewhere. You have the power to give your kids super powers. Secretly recruit the kids you think deserve powers to your superhero league!

You are the distribution manager for the merchandising arm of a popular work of media. Due to a mixup at the factory, you now have a year's supply of merkins and a year's supply of dice! How do you keep your job?

You are a medieval prophet who has been thrust into the 22nd century, finding that all your predictions have come true and are still coming true.

One day you wake up and discover that you are now a tank. What are you going to do about it?

You are a financial analyst who has to file the income statement for the fiscal year.

A mad god comes to you with an, as of now, very late claim against your company's assets. The currency is souls. How do you deal with this situation, assuming you haven't already shat your pants?

You're being chased by an indestructible monster, robot, assassin, something alone those lines. The point is it never stops coming.

But you have to deal with it while going about your regular business. Have fun grocery shopping or walking your dog while a monster is trying to devour you.

So I was reading through IRC Highlights when I stumbled across a night when Wheat was so exhausted he was incoherent, and I took the opportunity to solicit adventure ideas for him. And then I realized, "hey, we have a thread for adventure ideas now".

<wheatthins> the aone wher they fall in love but it turns out love is a ravine and the ravine is the land o the cliffpeople
<wheatthins> they are not happy about it
<wheatthins> stop
<wheatthins> geto ut hoferthere home
<wheatthins> nd the one otere two tribes are comepteing to sell the most cocoolates so they can send their braves to regionals in florida
<wheatthins> hatchest
<wheatthins> they have hatchests
<wheatthins> do you know the secret of the hatchest
<wheatthins> they do
<wheatthins> they arent telling
<wheatthins> fuck you for asking
<wheatthins> you are a greedy butt
<wheatthins> ]
<wheatthins> 6jthird onde: they are coming for you
<wheatthins> in the night
<wheatthins> to fill out your faroms
<wheatthins> once they do it you are done for. I.R.S.N.A.T.Cher
<wheatthins> imagine i continued the . . .
<wheatthins> final dadventure:
<wheatthins> the old man is at end of life and gets youngin to take on fainal adventure
<wheatthins> no dads are involved except for father issues
<wheatthins> stephen speilveber
<wheatthins> younging is a kid at end of rope figures whie not
<wheatthins> and they like go scuba diving or spelrulnking
<wheatthins> or politics
<wheatthins> another ida
<wheatthins> the bee queen
<wheatthins> you can expoun on the
<wheatthins> at

You are a crime lord running a donut shop as a cover operation for illegal jerk-being activities! Unfortunately for you, the cops love your moldy old donuts stolen from an actual coffee shop. Can you keep up the cover without losing all your loyal customers in the process?

Drashakkashakkalankastuck

Figure out why all these celebrity guest stars are actually they key to saving the universe

You are a person coincidentally named after a sword wielding super-heroine who can strip their environment of their colors, use them as if they were a Lantern Corps member, and then put them back like nothing happened. While it is good for your tips, since you are a waitress at a restaurant, It is kind of tiring to have your identity mistaken on a daily basis.

And downright lethal when you find you've been invited to a magic emporium on the wrong side of town under a death threat. It doesn't help that this asshole who can summon absurd amounts of white bull-fairies is pestering you as you try to get there.

"You just wanted to eat a fucking sandwhich"
- Have it start with someone going to lunch to get a sandwhich
- Escalate the plot until you achieve a gainax ending

the sandwich had plans of its own???????

Fogel's Quest for his Dad Card

You can speed up time for free, but slowing it down costs you life essence.

You know how there's like, a dangerous bomb with a countdown, and you're trying to defuse it, and you have to cut the right wire, but if you cut the wrong one...... RIP.

but what if... you cut the wrong one, but. yeah, it blows up, but only a little. that skin will grow back in a week. you can keep trying with the rest of those wires.

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there's a dangerous plant, similar to poison ivy.... any skin that comes into contact with it will permanently turn completely white. you won't be able to breathe through that skin, and will in fact steal oxygen that you need! And it will slowly spread to the rest of your body. Eventually, when you have too much white plant skin stealing oxygen faster than you can breathe you will die oh no!!

you're tall

you're like 7 years old and you're going on a field trip, and as you walk thru the city with your class, your teacher makes you hold hands with other students when you cross streets (safety first!)
can u manipulate the buddy system to hold hands with your crush??? or will unnecessary heteronormativity being forced on little kids ruin your day once again?????

You're in the Empire of Measurements and you're trying to prevent any of the Imperial agents from finding out you use the metric system.

What if Gödel was one of us?

What if Gödel was God, and the entire universe was indeterminable? That our age of existence is but one of a fleeting bubble of self-perpetuating order - one that is coming to an end?

What if you are Gödel, and you're desperately trying to save the universe from ending, but you can only affect events in the universe in the most random and inexplicable way?

Determination is the engine that keeps the universe going. Literally. De-termination.