Morgan Freeman's Organ Demons

Morgan Freeman: Actor. Director. Narrator. Aviator.

National treasure.

But no more.



The man every moviegoer has known and loved since 1964 became reclusive, withdrawn, and melancholy. Hollywood's greatest doctors and drug pushers could do little to ease his body or mind, and were baffled at what could be afflicting the great man. It was as though he was in the grip of some malevolent higher power. It was a mystery.

But not to you.



You'd seen the signs before, and you knew exactly what was happening. You rushed as soon as you were sure to stately Freeman Manor. It... Wasn't what you'd expected, but you pushed ahead, knowing your mission was an important one. You knew what to expect.

What you didn't expect was for your foe to expect you.



As soon as you entered the antechamber, it was upon you, a wave of ethereal crimson and ferric stench. You could do little more than raise an arm to protect yourself before the world went red, then black.



When you awoke, moist and warm, you knew there was only one thing that could have happened: you had been pulled into his body, forced to fight them from within on their own turf. You had to fight...

> You need an ally in here. Out here? What?

>Sing a song to help you forget your troubles.

>Run into the Magic School Bus.

Begin calmly narrating everything that happens to you. If you're to save a man, you must think like him.

>Run into the Magic School Bus.

There're no busses here, but hey... There is a Lincoln Continental screaming down the squishy trout-colored road about to crash into you! Before you can react it's nearly upon you; there's no way you'll be able to dodge it in time!

> You need an ally in here. Out here? What?

A nearby tapeworm lunges at you, knocking you out of the Continental's path and probably saving your life. The pair of you tumble a short, slimy distance before stopping.



The tapeworm rights itself and looks down at you, nonplussed.

"Don't just stand around like that in the middle of broad daylight... you'll get yourself killed! Don't you know this is Special K's turf?"

You cannot imagine how a cereal that is both nutritious and great tasting can stake a claim of land ownership. But then again, you don't know where you are, or how long you've been out cold. Your head's been a sloshing gulf ever since you've woken up. So you ask:

"Special K's turf... just where am I?"



Above, a very angry, very fleshy mass of vascular demon scowls at you. You of course don't notice it until it screeches out "You haven't heard the last from Special K! There's more where that came from!" and flies off.

Presumably this wasn't just some accidental near-hit-and-run then.

"Sooo... Was that Special K?"

The tapeworm shakes what you're pretty sure is its head. "No, that was just one of his agents. A lieutenant tissue demon that does his dirty work."

"As for where you are, well... We call it Freemanistan, although the demons have taken to calling it Panorganeum since they moved in. Look, we should probably go back to my place if you want to talk: it's obviously dangerous around here, especially since it sounds like Special K's got it out for you specifically."

Ask if you can ride on the tapeworm's back on the way.

>Hit that Save Point.

Save point = toilet? Cause you kinda have to go.

>Take the save point with you. Never know when you'll need to save!

Smash the crap out of that save point because you're doing a NO DEATHS RUN WOOOOO.

You head into the throbbing pustule. It's a bit of a tight squeeze, but not too bad if you ignore absolutely everything about it.

>Take the save point with you. Never know when you'll need to save!

Smash the crap out of that save point because you're doing a NO DEATHS RUN WOOOOO.

There's not much to see inside, and you're grateful for that. At one end of the house is some kind of pulsating... structure... that you assume Slim sleeps in. Or lays millions of eggs in. Or is his pantry. Or something. Anyway, you only have eyes for the save point; you're not sure if you want to take it or break it, but either way that thing isn't staying where it is.

>Hit that Save Point.

You approach the save point with malice in your eyes and tacky eraser-lines in your silhouette. Slim notices your bizarre behavior.

"I say, son, that is part of my house you're leering at."

Oh yeah. Probably best not to wreck up such a gracious host's furniture. At least not this soon. You save like a sane person.



...



As soon as your save is complete, there's a shattering sound behind you. It's that cereal agent again! He yells something threatening, but you can't really hear him over the constant throbbing in the pustule. Still, it's clear he wants to kill you.



You don't intend to let him have an easy time of it.

>Whack him with your cross!

Shout prayers at the top of your lungs.

>Give him the old Boomerang Cross treatment oh wait do you have enough hearts for that?

> Flipout like some kind of anime.

Use Absolution nowwww, while your health is still up!

> Status, status!

Absolute this fucker

Charge!