A Perfect Crime (TWS)

> Claim that you should have signed the Managerial whatever, and take it to "read over". And by read over, you mean just stop him from having.

>A fishing hook.

this rookie is going to make you dig deep into your paper filling past.

Drop his form it into the mandatory donation toll booth on the way to work...have an accidental loss of misc paperwork form ready to hand the kid - with a pre-emptive form loss checked ahead of time.

You've dodged more paperwork than this kid has ever seen.

Hastily eat it, all legal documents are classified as a level 2 snack because of a typo/loophole

"Are you sure there isn't something for me to sign on that tagging along form?" I asked. "Or the housing form either."

"Well, given your strange reluctance to fill out forms, I thought it would be more convenient for you if I filled out the auxiliary waiver forms permitting them to be approved without your signature."

"Let me see those," I said. But the kid got defensive. Probably knew something was up.

"I believe it is important for me to retain possession of these forms in order to learn responsible civic behavior. Besides, I am reasonably sure that it is against safety protocols to read documents while operating a vehicle."

"Huh. That must be one of the five regulations I didn't get written up for."

As I continued driving, I tried to think of another idea. Then I saw the donation bridge, and I had an idea.

"Credits are tight, but I can't risk being late," I said. "Better go for the bridge. You, uh, you able to pay your mandatory donation to the Council, or are you going to have to show them one of those temporary waiver cards?"

"I should have one in my identifier-pocket," the kid said. "Give me a moment."

I drove up to the bridge as the kid searched ??? pockets. Naturally, I used the distraction to grab the form and tossed it into the bin with my credits just as the kid gave me the card. I showed it to the donation officer and was waved through.

It was only a few moments after we arrived at the office that the kid realized the tag-along form had vanished.

"Wait, where did it go?"

"Doesn't matter," I said, handing the kid an Accidental Loss of Miscellaneous Paperwork form. I'd filled it out years ago, back in the early days of my career. Back then, I didn't have the experience to get away with skipping the paperwork, but I learned plenty of tricks for working around that.

I'd saved the forms even after I stopped bothering to play along, just in case there was a moment I couldn't get away from it. Now it was paying off. I told the kid to hand it in to the main office while I went ahead to my meeting.

Having given the kid the slip, I was just pleased enough with myself to almost be able to stomach the meeting with the Managerial Officers. I knew this wasn't going to be pleasant, but I had my excuse ready.

Except, when I got in there, the first question they asked me was one that I wasn't ready for at all.

What was that question, again?

Did you sign Gregor's retirement card?

It's next to the body bag.

>"Settle this argument for us: How do you pronounce '.gif'?"

> Yes or no: Is the answer to this question no?

"Nick Edict. Is this your signature on Gregor's retirement card?"

I stared at the card, and then at the body bag. I had a bad feeling about this.

"You see, Edict, normally we'd compare your signature against what we have on file. But we've looked back five years in the archives and we haven't been able to find any forms that you've signed."

The kid broke a long streak yesterday, I hadn't realized until now just how long it was. Of course, the Bureaucracy Department would still be processing yesterday's forms, so they wouldn't be formally in the system yet.

It wasn't my signature, of course. I remembered being passed the card, but it was while I was ignoring a whole stack of forms, so I ignored the card too.

The problem was, I couldn't figure out why they were asking the question. Would I get in more trouble if I said I signed it, or if I didn't? I had to figure out some way to get a read on what the Managerial Officers wanted.

So how was I going to do that?

Hm. Maybe it's time to claim you have a degree in professional forgery, or maybe your signature is actually blank?