Make A Wish

>Demand to have a Wish Lawyer!

Aha! But as you rule the world, everyone should be your subject so technically anybody on earth should have had that operation. That means that either the genie defied your wish or the rebels are... astronauts and aliens?

> Inquire further on the nature of the implants. Specifically, if the subjects retain any free will whatsoever.

If so, PARTY TIME AT THE PALACE WOOOOO

“But you all still have free will though right?” You ask.
“Oh yeah of course.” The secret service agent replies. “I mean okay it's not total free will. We can't commit any aggressive thoughts or actions, and its impossible to think feel or act any way negative towards Your Presidentialness." He looks thoughtful for a second. "But that's fine right, I mean there are some parts of free will that are just bad any way. It's better to be without those options I figure."

…

“Oh well good enough.” You say.

> Wish for a better suit! The best suit.

That pesky business finally sorted you decide that a President-King such as yourself can’t be wearing these awful old rags.
“I wish I had a better suit, in fact I wish I had the best suit!” You quickly amend your wish.
“Consider it done.”



“This is the best suit?” You ask incredulously.
“You don’t like it?” The genie asks, a hint of disappointment in their voice. “Well I think it’s the best suit.”
“It’s kinda gaudy.” You mutter. “I’d have preferred something a little less neon, but I guess you haven’t actively murdered or brainwashed anyone this time. I am willing to call this a victory.”
“Very gracious of you.”

> Wish that he'll stop being a total bitch and granting you wishes in ways that you find implicitly unsatisfactory. If he tries weaseling out of it, just tell him to tell you the exact effect every wish will have before he grants it.

“The thing is I’m a little sick of having my wishes interpreted in a way you know isn’t going to satisfy me.”
“I don’t know that.” The genie insisted. “I’ve known you all of ten minutes, I don’t really have a handle on your fashion sense yet.”
“I mean the other stuff. Even if you don’t know me very well you do recognize that you’ve implemented very obvious downsides to my wishes.”
“I’ve not implemented them. They’re just a fact of how your wishes are fulfilled.” The genie replies. “I can’t just make things happen. There needs to be some series of actions that can bring us to that point. Selfish wishes require selfish actions which result in bad consequences.”



“But I wished for an end to poverty and homelessness and all that jazz.” You say.
“For the express purpose of making people like you.”



As you further contemplate this explanation you hear gunshots outside your office.
“The rebels!” you exclaim. They’d kind of slipped your mind.
“Don’t worry Mr Your Highness Sir I’ll deal with them. No problemo.” The secret service agent rushes out of the far door.



"Now hold up guys." The secret service agent shouts down the corridor. "I'm sure this is all one big misunderstanding and if we just get around a table we can work this one out right? You'll feel so much better when you've had your implant installed."



The only response is gunfire. The secret service agent screams and collapses to the floor with a thud, dimly you can hear weapons being reloaded and advancing footsteps.

SpoilerShow

essentially all of the rule clarification/evasion suggestions are still viable once immediate threats have been dealt with i just didn't want an entire update that was wish lawyering (right now at any rate, entire wish lawyering updates are almost certainly in this adventure's future)

selfish wishes are more liable to fuck up? Then how about:

>Wish to renounce your title with a peaceful transfer of power to a representative democracy, and to do so with all your appendages intact and free.

wish to be less selfish

> Wish that there was a very good amusement park located between wherever the rebels are and your door. See, you're helping the rebels have fun, and nothing from that wish is directly for your benefit.

wish to be less selfish

Yeah, because you sure want that selflessness implant.

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