The Perfectly Generic Text Adventure

You are a perfectly generic character. What kinda of world do you inhabit? What kinda of adventure should you go on? All very important questions. Find out after these messages.

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'This has been these messages'

Are YOU the protagonist of a perfectly generic text adventure? Do YOU feel as though your personality isn't well-defined and you have no motivation? Call now for a free trial of QuestCo's Quest Generator! It will change your life!

Life-changes not guaranteed for non-protagonists.

Your name is EGG JOHNBERT. You have POSSESSIONS and INTERESTS, and you live in A ROOM.

Talk to WACKY COLOR-CODED SIDE CHARACTERS? [Y/Y]

Isn't advertising wonderful? You shut off the tv before the flashing garish colors blind you. Man, who knew that Hemingway would make a come back. Or that fast talking people can sell fridges. Isn't the world a wonderful place? You may be overusing wonderful. Call it wonderfully good character development.

Unnamed generic character: What do you do now?

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Hm. You might want to deal with the fact that your house is filling up with slips of paper with 'wonderful' scrawled on them.

You decide a nice, quick, paperwork burning will solve all your problems. It's rather difficult to do because some random dude keeps following you around and pounding on your back.

Oh, Oh Dear. What have you done to your house?

It appears to have burned away, leaving only a nice, cozy asbestos shell for you to live in for the rest of your short, cancer-ridden life.

Contemplate death in Wonderland.

You assume the asbestos will lead to your death. You probably become like the mad hatter, insane, and cancer filled. Wonderland is a lot less fun than you thought! You suddenly see a rabbit in a bright pink dress. Irrelevant.

What on earth did they put in this tea!

It's probably just a dream.

In the tea, I mean. You're drinking someone's really weird dream. Gross.

Asbestos

Whoever's dream this is, they sure love their asbestos. Don't they know it causes cancer! The worst part is, everybody used it as a building material. Speaking of substandard building, look at that castle!

It's falling apart! Who decided to let the giant fire breathing lizards redecorate, anyway?

It's falling apart! Who decided to let the giant fire breathing lizards redecorate, anyway?

I think we just found out why everything is made of asbestos