The Ziir And Konka Show

Konka Rar: Ziirphael, something seems to have slipped my mind. Could you refresh my memory on what our plans for today were?
Ziirphael: Um... We were going to raise the ancient flying fortress of Caelo Ruinam and then you were going to use its powerful weaponry to rule the world with an iron fist?
Konka: Yes, that does sound familiar. Now, I have another question.
Ziir: What is it?
Konka: Does this look like an ancient flying fortress to you?
Ziir: Well, um, no. It looks like a forest.
Konka: So in other words, we are lost.



Ziir: Hey, I totally have wilderness survival skills! I can guide us back to civilization in no time!
Konka: Oh really.
Ziir: Sure! Take a look at this berry. It, uh, only grows purple on the east side of bushes?
Konka: Do you even know what kind of berry that is?
Ziir: Well, um... it's purple?
Konka: That is a berry from the Arakensis thorlagia plant. I've used it when mixing potions.
Ziir: And, uh... it tastes good, too?



Konka: It is the active ingredient in one of the deadliest poisons I have ever concocted.
Ziir: But, uh... the berry itself is okay, right?
Konka: It's perfectly fine if you vomit it out before you have time to digest it. And why are you inquiring about that? Neither of us even requires food!



Ziir: Well, I still get hungry!
Konka: I don't know why I ever permitted you to navigate. I should have known better after that incident with the mirror.
Ziir: Hey, that was an accident! And it was only a small explosion!
Konka: Enough! I can't concentrate with your ignorant prattling. I need to think of our next move.

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SpoilerHello, this is an Ixcaliber and Fogel production! Ix provides the images, I provide the text after he's already drawn things.

>Examine rocks
THERE WAS A RUSTLE

THROW THE BERRY AT KONKA RAR

Caaaaaaaaat

Eat the berry anyway!

Throw Ziir up the purple tree and make him get directions from up there.

> Zir: Ask about the other, not-purple berries.

> Zir: Take the berries. Never know when you might need a good poison or two.

> Rar: Scan for heat signatures. The fastest way to the nearest town is always with the closest human(oid)s.

Investigate the SHIT out of that rustle. Kill and reanimate anything within.

> Rar: Climb one of these trees to try and get your bearings.

>Examine rocks
THERE WAS A RUSTLE

Throw Ziir up the purple tree and make him get directions from up there.

Konka: I detected some movement over here. I will investigate, in case it is something I can reanimate as a more effective minion than you.
Ziir: Hey! I'm useful, dang it!
Konka: Hmmph. Why don't you occupy yourself by climbing that tree and seeing if you can find a way back to the castle, then. Or at least what direction it's in.

Caaaaaaaaat

Konka: It's... a squirrel? A cat? I can't tell what this creature is, but I'm not squandering perfectly good mana on it.
Ziir: Here I go! Back in a jiffy!



Ziir: Wow, this tree is tall. Uh, let's see... more forest... a mountain trail... the ancient flying fortress of Caelo Ruinam... Hey, wait a minute!



Konka Rar: Did you find anything?
Ziir: Yeah! I saw a rock that looked like a dragon skull! It was pretty cool. Oh, and Caelo Ruinam's in the sky already, I think someone might have beaten us to it.
Konka Rar: WHAT?



Ziir: I know, that rock was really awesome! We should check it out up close. I think it's over there somewhere.
Konka Rar: No, you fool... wait, what's that?

A giant fuck-you bear. Covered in runes for some reason.

> That's just a cardboard cutout of a Glasth'gl, probably made by one of the village locals to scare tourists off. Ignore it.