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a52 · 06-23-2018, 04:41 AM

> START

Applying default character creation settings...

You are KNIGHT. Your job is SLAY MONSTERS.

Input Action:

>_

thriggle · 06-23-2018, 04:43 AM

Examine sign. Is it a monster?

Dragon Fogel · 06-23-2018, 04:44 AM

Look! There's one! What could that big face in the sky be if not a monster?

**sprïly** · 06-23-2018, 04:44 AM

Slay sign, just to be sure.

LammarWesley · 06-23-2018, 04:44 AM

>Check inventory.

☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ · 06-23-2018, 04:45 AM

how can you be sure YOU aren't the real monsters

typeandkey · 06-23-2018, 07:52 AM

>Research into a new career path. Perhaps a Lawyer?

Electrum · 06-23-2018, 08:18 AM

> Can you quantify your Slay Monsters statistic or are you a neophyte?

Reyweld · 06-23-2018, 11:58 AM

>Dream about one day being strong enough to fight the sun, a legendary monster that looks over all

Clownmask Clock · 06-23-2018, 04:27 PM

>Retrieve arms from sign.

ICan'tGiveCredit · 06-23-2018, 10:57 PM

>go l e f t

a52 · 06-24-2018, 06:00 AM

(06-23-2018, 04:44 AM)LammarWesley Wrote: »>Check inventory.

> OPEN HUD

HUD activated.

You would really rather not open your inventory right now, as the menu system to this game is incredibly over-involved.

(06-23-2018, 04:43 AM)thriggle Wrote: »Examine sign.

>LOOK SIGN

THE DREAD APPLEGROVE WOOD: EAST ^
<-- COZY HAMLET: NORTH
CASTLETON: SOUTH -->

You are facing SOUTH.

(06-23-2018, 04:44 AM)spümpkin Wrote: »Slay sign, just to be sure.

> KILL SIGN
> QUERY MONSTERHOOD: SIGN

A critical hit! SIGN has been slain.

+0.1 CRIME

(06-23-2018, 04:43 AM)thriggle Wrote: »Is it a monster?

Judging by the slight increase in CRIME, it appears not.

>_

☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ · 06-24-2018, 06:04 AM

go on the lam. you're a wanted man now

**sprïly** · 06-24-2018, 06:17 AM

Run to the Dread Applegrove Forest. They'll never catch you there!

LammarWesley · 06-24-2018, 06:49 AM

>Applegrove journey!

smuchmuch · 06-24-2018, 07:00 AM

>So do you have a quest already, squire ? Cause you'd better go get yourself one. I's all the rage these days.
>Or you could go slay a few monsters in the dreaded grove

typeandkey · 06-24-2018, 10:58 AM

>See how high you can make your crime meter go by continuing to slash and smash the sign up.

Reyweld · 06-24-2018, 01:24 PM

(06-24-2018, 10:58 AM)typeandkey Wrote: »>See how high you can make your crime meter go by continuing to slash and smash the sign up.

Electrum · 06-24-2018, 03:09 PM

> Hold it right there criminal scum

Arcanuse · 06-24-2018, 03:23 PM

Woops. Well, it's only .1 of a crime so it's probably fine.
...Maybe don't do that again though.

Dragon Fogel · 06-24-2018, 05:25 PM

What are you people talking about, CRIME obviously means Computerized Research Index of Monster Elimination. Clearly it's automatically tracking the types of monsters you've slain and the number is a percentage counter. Only 99.9% of monster types to go!

a52 · 06-25-2018, 03:55 PM

I'm gonna be on vacation in another country for the next two weeks, so unfortunately no updates until I come back.

Clownmask Clock · 06-25-2018, 07:57 PM

>Hide the evidence.

a52 · 08-02-2018, 04:02 AM

(06-24-2018, 06:04 AM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »go on the lam. you're a wanted man now

Oh balls oh jeez oh no oh fuck oh darn oh man

Halting Fast-travel.

Before you is FAT JESTER.

What's this bozo after?

FAT JESTER says:

Quote:- Haille, gvde Syr Knyte!

- A man of ſkill and talent thov ſeemeſt, methinks.
- But ſvrely theſe woodſ bored and tireſome grow!
- What good iſ the ſword with no reaſon to ſwing it!
- Tedivm beginſ to turn into woe...

- But my little game coſts jvſt ſixpence ha'penny!
- And no coſt at all if mid-game thov withdrawſ.
- Jvſt give me the word, and thy trovbleſ are over --
- ...Inclvding (I know!) thoſe thov hast with the law.

FAT JESTER seems to be expecting a response!

>_

Actually Ed · 08-02-2018, 04:12 AM

>Threaten him with your ham menacingly until he stops rhyming