Post making contest 6.0

hey look at this geared dog

Passes rules 1a, 3, and 5.

hey look at this engineered dog

Passes rules 1a, 3, and 5

hey look at this cheered dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this wherry dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this speared dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this eared dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this cashier dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this frontier dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this near dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this career dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this pier dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this deer dog

Passes rule 5

dog pic snipped

Passes rule 5

hey look at this austere dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this clear dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this premiere dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this beer dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this Vermeer dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this cavalier dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this unclear dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this clear dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this mutineer dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this chandelier dog

Passes rules 1a, 3, and 5

hey look at this souvenir dog

Passes rules 1a and 5

hey look at this wagoneer dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this skier dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this brigadier dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this tired dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

look at this hear(ing) dog

Passes rule 5

Hey, look at this wired dog.

Passes rule 5

hey look at this Lear dog

Passes rules 1a and 5

hey look at this gondolier dog

Passes rules 1a and 5

Hey look at these leered dogs

Passes rule 5

hey look at this sincere dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this queer dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this cheer dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this yesteryear dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at the year of the dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this swearing dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this tear dog

Passes rules 1a and 5

Hey, look at this weed dog.

grrr... Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this sneering dog

Passes rules 1a, 3, and 5

wyrd
wire
weir
ward
were
war
weald
word
hay
world
wood
wall
scout
wheeled
wild
wheeled/wild
weary
whaled
reeled
reared
sphered
sheared
roared
beard
bearded swords
feared
revered
tiered
geared
engineered
cheered
wherry
speared
eared
cashier
frontier
near
career
pier
deer
austere
premiere
beer
vermeer
cavalier
unclear
clear
mutineer
chandelier
souvenir
wagoneer
brigadier
tired
hear(ing)
wired
lear
gondolier
leered
sincere
queer
cheer
yesteryear
year of the
swearing
tear
weed
sneering
wed
bed

Passes no rules!

Hey, look at these wed dogs.

Passes rule 5

hey look at this bed dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this mirrored dog

Passes rule 5

hey, look at this canada

Passes no rules!

hey look at this canadog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this yodog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this yo dawg

Passes rules 3 and 5

14. Winning post must be made without understanding any of the rules.

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this updog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this square dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this chair dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this bear dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this pear dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this shore dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this store dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this spore dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this fear dog

Passes rules 1a and 5

hey look at this dogs 2 the sequel to dogs

Hmmmph Passes rules 1a, 3, and 5.

hey look at this wind dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this weld dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this welled dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this wad dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this wet dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this wheat dog

Passes rule 5

wat dog

Passes rules 1b, 3, and 5

hey look at this wat dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

Hey look at all those dogs!
canada

Passes rule 1b

This is update #273.

So I played a day of Cook Serve Delicious to show a friend what it was like and I don't think anything particularly interesting happened? It wasn't a perfect day because moving my mouth and my fingers at the same time is hard and also burgers...

• Day 50: okay so I have a new person who wants to date me. His name is Sam and he likes lasagne and thus is a scary person. Lord help me I'm gonna try it.
  
• (about me: I am easily swayed by beards)
  
• also I am playing at a table with my friends who are playing civ and they have been constantly asking me for advice so uh this is going to be fun (I am not playing the civ game because I didn't get out of the maths institute until half four rip)
  
• PSCRPSCRPSCR
  
• BUILD SOME FUCKING ROADS AROUND YOUR CITIES YOU FOOLS
  
• okay I made Sam's lasagne just fine by sheer bloody-mindedness and also may have slightly shouted at folks during evening rush hour so yeah that was not a perfect day
  
• Day 51: Crazy Dave bets I cannot get a x30 perfect combo with six items on my active menu. Normally I feel like I could, but people are trying to get me to explain why nukes are so devastating.
  
• Daily special: beer
  
• fucked up the second order BUT THAT'S OKAY ENDED UP WITH A x61 COMBO AFTER ALL
  
• (I would like to thank the negative buzz generated from having fries, sopapillas and fried chicken on my menu, alongside beer, salad and ice cream)
  
• Day 52: the final catering event opened up and I actually have all the things to do it except the ability to concentrate because I am having to explain to people why clearing the fallout around their cities is a good thing
  
• x63 PERFECT COMBO BOO YAH
  
• EVEN WITH THE LASAGNE AND EVERYTHING
  
• Day 53: so uh I have a safety inspection due guess it's beer as the daily special again
  
• YES YES XCOMS GOOD I AM MAKING A SALAD
  
• x61 PERFECT COMBO AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• Day 54: "What's up, my name is Pepper, and I want to build a better toilet" SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
  
• (they only want $2000 dollars that's fine by me)
  
• wait I had forgotten to upgrade the salad to max
  
• whoops
  
• again, it is still bullshit how it is possible to put a lasagne in the oven and then immediately take it out again by accident
  
• also Sam would appear to be an upstanding individual who gives money to homeless people and swears he'll always be my ice cream sundae, despite the fact he will be vanishing off the face of the earth in ~2 days
  
• oh someone won the game
  

End of message.

Passes no rules!

Code:

))))))))./://:(((((((((S........
/</</</</</</</</$/;):/;/;):/(/(/(/(/(/(/(/(/(#)/$/$/$/$/$/$/$/$

Not sure exactly how I'm going to print the second line, but I'm already further along than I thought I would get. This works by taking advantage of the fact that every character takes two characters to print, which actually makes it easier to line things up with the binary selection partitions.

Passes no rules!

Sruix, are they playing Civ 6 or Civ 5?

Passes rules 1b and 3

I spilled some slightly acidic stuff on my touchpad, now my cursor is behaving wildly.

Also, in Device Manager, why doesn't it let me disable the touchpad!?!?! (it only lets me uninstall the driver)

Passes no rules!

Also, I said I'd grade some posts twice. So here they are:

---

14. Winning post must be made without understanding any of the rules.

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this updog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this square dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this chair dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this bear dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this pear dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this shore dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

hey look at this store dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this spore dog

Passes rule 5

hey look at this fear dog

Passes rules 1a and 5

hey look at this dogs 2 the sequel to dogs

Hmmmph Passes rules 1a, 3, and 5.

hey look at this wind dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this weld dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this welled dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this wad dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this wet dog

Passes rules 1b and 5

hey look at this wheat dog

Passes rule 5

wat dog

Passes rules 1b, 3, and 5

hey look at this wat dog

Passes rules 3 and 5

Hey look at all those dogs!
canada

Passes rule 1b

This is update #273.

So I played a day of Cook Serve Delicious to show a friend what it was like and I don't think anything particularly interesting happened? It wasn't a perfect day because moving my mouth and my fingers at the same time is hard and also burgers...

• Day 50: okay so I have a new person who wants to date me. His name is Sam and he likes lasagne and thus is a scary person. Lord help me I'm gonna try it.
  
• (about me: I am easily swayed by beards)
  
• also I am playing at a table with my friends who are playing civ and they have been constantly asking me for advice so uh this is going to be fun (I am not playing the civ game because I didn't get out of the maths institute until half four rip)
  
• PSCRPSCRPSCR
  
• BUILD SOME FUCKING ROADS AROUND YOUR CITIES YOU FOOLS
  
• okay I made Sam's lasagne just fine by sheer bloody-mindedness and also may have slightly shouted at folks during evening rush hour so yeah that was not a perfect day
  
• Day 51: Crazy Dave bets I cannot get a x30 perfect combo with six items on my active menu. Normally I feel like I could, but people are trying to get me to explain why nukes are so devastating.
  
• Daily special: beer
  
• fucked up the second order BUT THAT'S OKAY ENDED UP WITH A x61 COMBO AFTER ALL
  
• (I would like to thank the negative buzz generated from having fries, sopapillas and fried chicken on my menu, alongside beer, salad and ice cream)
  
• Day 52: the final catering event opened up and I actually have all the things to do it except the ability to concentrate because I am having to explain to people why clearing the fallout around their cities is a good thing
  
• x63 PERFECT COMBO BOO YAH
  
• EVEN WITH THE LASAGNE AND EVERYTHING
  
• Day 53: so uh I have a safety inspection due guess it's beer as the daily special again
  
• YES YES XCOMS GOOD I AM MAKING A SALAD
  
• x61 PERFECT COMBO AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• Day 54: "What's up, my name is Pepper, and I want to build a better toilet" SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
  
• (they only want $2000 dollars that's fine by me)
  
• wait I had forgotten to upgrade the salad to max
  
• whoops
  
• again, it is still bullshit how it is possible to put a lasagne in the oven and then immediately take it out again by accident
  
• also Sam would appear to be an upstanding individual who gives money to homeless people and swears he'll always be my ice cream sundae, despite the fact he will be vanishing off the face of the earth in ~2 days
  
• oh someone won the game
  

End of message.

Passes no rules!

Code:

))))))))./://:(((((((((S........
/</</</</</</</</$/;):/;/;):/(/(/(/(/(/(/(/(/(#)/$/$/$/$/$/$/$/$

Not sure exactly how I'm going to print the second line, but I'm already further along than I thought I would get. This works by taking advantage of the fact that every character takes two characters to print, which actually makes it easier to line things up with the binary selection partitions.

Passes no rules!

Sruix, are they playing Civ 6 or Civ 5?

Passes rules 1b and 3

I spilled some slightly acidic stuff on my touchpad, now my cursor is behaving wildly.

Also, in Device Manager, why doesn't it let me disable the touchpad!?!?! (it only lets me uninstall the driver)

Passes no rules!

dog...

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0123456789~!@#$%^&*()_+`-=[]{}|[]\;':",./<>? dog

[[insert dog pic here]]

Would you guys like a freaking hint with these five rules from hellthe apocalypse? This post was specifically designed to pass rule two AND I'M GOING TO KEEP THAT TRUE NO MATTER WHAT GO PAST ME FORGETTING THINGS

0w0

hey look at this wire dog

You know, we never got told what rules the opening post passed.

So, uh, give me a moment. Brace yourselves for impact, everyone.

...dog's....

REVELATION TO KÍEROS - CHAPTER 6

[size=8]
¹As I watched, the fremp shitposted the first of the TWELVE lubrications in the Post Making Contest. Then I heard one of the five glitter texts say with a voice like g0m, ²I looked up and saw a white weird dog standing there. Its rider carried a golden .45 revolver, powered by dreams. shoots lightning, and a crown was placed on her head. She rode out to win many battles and gain the victory.
³When the fremp shitposted the second lubrication, I heard the second glitter text say, ⁴Then another weird dog appeared, a red one. Its rider was given a mighty keyblade and the authority to take peace from Eagle Time. And there was war and slaughter everywhere.
⁵When the fremp shitposted the third lubrication, I heard the third glitter text say, I looked up and saw a black weird dog, and its rider was holding an analytic balance in her hand. ⁶And I heard a voice from among the five glitter texts say, but not actually in glitter text because by golly is this a long quote, "A loaf of Wheat or three loaves of Sanji will cost today's top poster. And don't waste the sample text and Sruix's updates."
⁷When the fremp shitposted the fourth lubricaton, I heard the fourth glitter text say, ⁸I looked up and saw a weird dog whose color was pale green. Its rider was named Death, and her companion was Rules Hell. These two were given authority over one-fourth of Eagle Time, to kill with the rules and tricks and Swamped's rigorous updating schedule and robot kitties.
⁹When the fremp shitposted the fifth lubricaton, I heard the fifth glitter text say, ¹⁰I looked up and saw a rainbow text weird dog, and its rider was holding the true alphabet in her hands. She rode out to meme like none had ever memed before.
¹¹And then the fremp shitposted lubrication like seven more times with even worse stuff happening, but I was too distracted, because I had come up with rules for the Post Making Contest from the Five Weirddogswomen of the Rulespocalypse:

1. Conquest
   
2. War
   
3. Famine
   
4. Death
   
5. Memeing

[/size]

fremp
lubrication
welcome to the space consortium
weird dogs
Sanji

This is update #274.

I'M POSTING THIS FROM MY LAPTOP!

End of message.

SpoilerShow

1543 weird gods

This is update #274.

I'M POSTING THIS FROM MY LAPTOP POSTER!

End of message.

Did anyone try making a post yet?

Hello, I'm a poster.

Dog.

This is update #275.

• Day 55: I have to come to terms with it - I need to buy nachos, put them on the menu, and develop enough familiarity with them to do the catering event that includes them. Welp.
  
• today will also mark the first day that I am going to play whilst listening to something other than the game's soundtrack (which is really good) or four people getting increasingly fed up with a spiralingly terrible game of Civ V
  
• (Be Svendsen's "Alchemie", to be precise)
  
• NACHOS ARE HARD
  
• WHY ARE THEIR ONIONS O WHEN THE PIZZA ONIONS ARE N
  
• THEY BOTH HAVE OLIVES AS V FOR GOODNESS SAKE
  
• Day 56: so I have a new toilet now and it looks pretty snazzy
  
• oh and Sam's off to pursue his art career at a local university good fucking luck mate
  
• I decided to take my mind off my misfortune by doing the smorgasbord catering event and uh it asked for 26 perfect orders and I managed 45, raking in $1125. Clearly I need to get dumped more often.
  
• I put pizza on the menu to practice for catering and did not take nachos off. I am doomed.
  
• FUCKING HELL WHY DOES THE TOILET MAKE THAT SOUND
  
• THAT IS A BLENDER NOISE
  
• WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY WASTE PRODUCTS PEPPER?
  
• AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
  
• x65 PIZZA I MEAN PERFECT COMBO
  
• THERE WAS A POINT DURING RUSH HOUR WHERE I WAS PREPARING SIX DIFFERENT PIZZAS SIMULTANEOUSLY I HAVE NEVER FELT SO CHALLENGED BY A VIDEO GAME
  

• I then proceeded to take a five minute break
  

• Day 57: okay I had not been paying attention if I want to get my stars in the minimal possible time I have to do all the catering events right now
  
• ...
  
• I did the burger and lasagne event as a warm-up and that was a precarious in prep station management (still, served 25 > 18 so I passed)
  
• then on to burgers and pizzas where I managed 27 > 15 (low goal because this may have supposed to have been the first event you did)
  
• I've just switched my listening to some lovely, gentle Pan•American. This says a lot.
  
• 35 PEOPLE GOT THEIR NACHOS AND ICE CREAM SERVED TO THEM IN PERFECT STYLE HELL YEAH
  
• right now I need to upgrade two more dishes with all this money I just earned and I'll be on course to go up a rank tomorrow
  
• I went for burgers and lasagne, the latter of which I am definitely never going to regret.
  
• BURGER ONIONS ARE O TOO WHAT THE HELL
  
• PSMCRPSMCRPSCR
  
• *incoherent screaming, perhaps concerning lasagne, though the details as hard to come by*
  
• I HAVE THREE STARS NOW
  
• THAT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE A BELT
  
• THEY WANT ME TO APPEAR ON TV *immediately closes that menu*
  
• Day 58: I am about to serve these new burgers for the first time. I do not even know what half of the new recipes are. This will be fine.
  
• would you believe that I did all the burgers perfectly and in fact the only thing I did muck up was inadvertently putting cheese on some guy's salad
  
• Day 59: a guy called Phil wants to date me for my nachos and uh no
  
• THIS WAS A BAD DAY TO HAVE MY FIRST EVER ROBBERY
  
• and yet somehow I drew a sufficiently decent likeness of the bugger to get him caught at the cost of only one burnt burger
  
• like 84/85 perfect orders is not half bad and I had 93% buzz come the evening - eek!
  
• Day 60: 104% IS NOT A LEGITIMATE PERCENTAGE OF BUZZ THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO OBTAIN
  
• also I had lasagne on the menu and from the start of lunchtime rush hour to closing time I did not stop preparing food oh my goodness
  
• I did not prepare a single order wrong: the problem was that I kept plating up the wrong ones whilst I was desperately searching the the lasagne-seeking customer who was just about to leave in a huff aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
  
• Day 61: "Your 96 perfect orders yesterday have caused +48% buzz today! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
  
• AND I JUST GOT A RANDOM EVENT GIVING ME A +10% BUZZ BOOST FOR THE DAY
  
• I mean the buzz from a new star has decayed now so I can't beat 104% but still when am I ever going to get a chance to try out some new foods at this rate
  
• Crazy Dave would like me to complete all my chores and get a x30 combo. That's almost sane.
  
• having said that the daily special is still gonna be beer
  
• x80 COMBO PERFECT DAY OKAY THERE WE GO I CAN STOP FOR THE NIGHT NOW
  

End of message.

TWELVE weird dogs

go on eagle time for puns

This is update #276.



I have a functioning laptop that has been running "smoothly" for about four hours.

Honest.

End of message.

buzz buzz. bee movie?

I mean, what do you use to post? It's in the name. Poster. Yeah.

If I could just figure out recursion or looping I could get this to work.

FULL RULE 1 PASS
hey look at this wire dog
hey look at this world dog

1B PASS AND NEARLY 1A TOO
hey look at this wyrd dog

1A PASS
Kieros needs to grade some posts.
I have a secret. Ask me yes or no questions about my secret.
For some reason I thought there was a ghost post.
hey look at these wheeled/wild dogs
hey look at this sphered dog
hey look at this geared dog
hey look at this engineered dog
hey look at this chandelier dog
hey look at this souvenir dog
hey look at this Lear dog
hey look at this gondolier dog
hey look at this tear dog
hey look at this sneering dog
hey look at this fear dog
hey look at this dogs 2 the sequel to dogs

1B PASS
dog
dog dog
dog god
dog star, rats god
names, names, names
I don't know how to pass these rules.
Excuse me, which way is the Post Baking Concert?
hey look at this weir dog
Hey, look at this ward dog.
hey look at this weredog
hey look at these war dogs
Hey, look at this word dog.
hey look at this wind dog
hey look at this weld dog
hey look at this welled dog
hey look at this wad dog
hey look at this wet dog
wat dog
Sruix, are they playing Civ 6 or Civ 5?

(note: only single line posts have been included, since they make up near-total majority of rule 1 passes)

eooaiio

hey look at this world dog