Sack Boogies

Good morning and happy birthday!



It's your eleventeenth birthday today, which means you're finally old enough to get your first Sack Boogie!

It also means you get to choose a name for yourself. This is the name with which you'll be saddled for the rest of your life and which you'll carry to your grave, by which your distant offspring will remember you, which will color every interaction you have with anybody for the rest of your life. So you'd better choose wisely!

What name should you choose for yourself?

>Rusty "Bingo" Caduceus.
>Open the sack boogie

Fart Buttsman

>Rusty "Bingo" Caduceus.

You've thought about this a long time, so you're all ready. Your name will be Rusty Caduceus!

And people can call you Bingo for short!

>Open the sack boogie

You've had this Boogie Sack since your grandmother gave it to you before jumping into a reclamation vat. You know that it's empty, but you can't help peering into it anyway.

The mysterious purple glow beckons enticingly. The whirling ethereal mists of the ancient technology seem to pulsate, mesmerizing.


You know you shouldn't gaze into the Boogie Sack for too long or the madness will creep into your soul and you'll end up crazier than Uncle Fartbuttsman. (At least, that's what your mom-and-dad told you.)

So you pick up the sack and throw it over your shoulder, secure in the knowledge that the madness hasn't consumed you and soon you'll have a Sack Boogie to put into your Boogie Sack.



Well, now that you've got a name, you have a few more important decisions to make on this, the most important day of your life!


Like... what should you wear today? And what's for breakfast?

>Wear a baseball cap
>Use a bedsheet as a cape too!
>Put the rest of the clothes that you usually don't use in the sack.
>Eat egg..

Have your signature Cool Walking Stick that you hope will one day swirl with mysterious caduceus-shaped energyes

Breakfast: two egg

Wear breakfast.

Have your signature Cool Walking Stick that you hope will one day swirl with mysterious caduceus-shaped energyes

>Use a bedsheet as a cape too!

You grab your CWS (Cool Walking Stick) because you have this great idea for a style that'll be like a wizard with a Caduceus stick. The plan calls for you to wear your bedsheet as a cape.


Unfortunately, you haven't been able to reach your bedsheet/cape since it fell under your bed two winters ago. It now belongs to the Sack Boogie who lives under your bed.



Some day you will reclaim it, and your nights will be spent in peaceful slumber instead of cold, shivering terror. Soon, bedsheet... soon.

>Wear a baseball cap

But for now you just grab your baseball cap, and it's off to breakfast!



You march out through your unsealed bedchamber door and shout your breakfast order to your mom-and-dad.

>Eat egg..

Breakfast: two egg

"Hey, MomDad! Two eggs, please!"

Wear breakfast.

Sometimes you're good about catching breakfast in your mouth, but they caught you off guard this time.

"THIRTY-NINE," your Mom-and-Dad intones, "WHAT NAME HAVE YOU CHOSEN."



You scrape the eggs off your face and into your mouth as best you can while replying that you've chosen the name Rusty "Bingo" Caduceus.

"IT SHALL BE ENTERED INTO THE RECORD," says Mom-and-Dad.
"UPON CESSATION OF MASTICATION YOU ARE PERMITTED TO LEAVE THE HOME AND REPORT TO PROFESSOR MACROCYST TO SELECT YOUR STARTER SACK BOOGIE."

Great! Is there anything you want to do before you leave, or should you head to Professor Macrocyst's laboratory?

>Give MomDad a loving hug
>Check impromptu Boogie trap you set up in garage

>Pick a lantern or something like that, it's always handy.
>THEN go there, report to professor macro-something

>Give MomDad a loving hug

"Thanks for breakfast, MomDad!"

>Check impromptu Boogie trap you set up in garage

>Pick a lantern or something like that, it's always handy.

You head to the garage to grab a torch and to see if the Boogie trap that you set up yesterday has borne any fruit.




The garage is big and dark, but fortunately, the family always keeps a bunch of flashlights in a cabinet near the door.
You grab one and attach it to your staff with some tape, then take a peek at the trap.


Unfortunately, nothing has tried to eat the egg yet. If there are any Sack Boogies here, they're hiding in the shadows as normal.

>THEN go there, report to professor macro-something

Oh, well! You guess it's off to Professor Macrocyst's laboratory!

You leave through the garage door and step out into the sunlight-drenched morning.



As the door seals behind you, you take a moment to enjoy the fresh air and look around you.



It's only a short walk to Professor Macrocyst's laboratory, and there aren't any shadows since they chopped down the murdertree, so you should be safe from wild Sack Boogies as long as you stay on the path. Still, you always get a little thrill of adventure whenever you leave the hermetically-sealed safety of The Home.

Go Dennisward, instead of any of those other directions.

> GO TO MR. MACRO-SOMETHING! Maybe say hi to a few friends, of course, it's time to go your sackstical adventure!

Go Dennisward, instead of any of those other directions.

Maybe say hi to a few friends, of course, it's time to go your sackstical adventure!

You decide to make a quick stop at the home of your best friend, Dennis. She had her eleventeenth birthday last year, so she's had months of fun times exploring the countryside, having exciting adventures, and encountering strange new Sack Boogies, and you can't wait to do the same!


You rap on her window with your staff of illumination.



"Hey, Dennis! Open up! Don't you know what day it is?"

After a few moments, the metal grate over her window slides up and she peers out at you, blinking sleepily. Wow, looks like she's growing another hair!



"Oh, it's you, Thirty-nine. What do you want?"

Tell her you have a name now!

Tell her you have a name now!

"You can call me Bingo, now!" you say with pride. "Today's my eleventeenth!"



Dennis: "Wow, that sucks, dude, sorry to hear that. Give my disregard to Professor Jerkwad when you see him."



Haha, good ol' Dennis. Such a joker!

"See you later, Dennis! Maybe we can have a Sack Boogie brawl after I get my starter!"

She grunts quietly in what you assume is exuberant anticipation as you continue along the path toward Professor Macrocyst's laboratory.

Before too long, you're standing in front of the professor's door.

"TARGET IDENTIFIED," the door greets you warmly, "ALIAS RUSTY-BINGO-CADUCEUS."

With a soft mechanical whine, the door slides open invitingly, revealing the stark darkness of the professor's laboratory.



The professor is probably the planet's foremost living authority on Sack Boogies, and he has all sorts of strange ones living in the shadows of his lab. You hope you'll get to see one today!

Actually, as you probe the darkness with your staff of illumination, you think you see something darting about, avoiding the light. What is that?

It's... it's exactly what you think it is! What on Earth was he thinking, leaving all this darkness around! Ready your Sack! Or alternatively, run and hide!

Is that the professor? Probably had too much coffee again.

boring! It's just an Animal!

boring! It's just an Animal!

It's... it's exactly what you think it is! What on Earth was he thinking, leaving all this darkness around! Ready your Sack! Or alternatively, run and hide!

This is it... this is THE BIG ONE... THIS IS...

boring! It's just an Animal!

Oh, bummer.



It's just a regular ol' Animal, resurrected with Old Science. Probably just a snack or something for the professor.

The excitement abated, you walk through the door and into the laboratory foyer.



There sure is a lot of sciencey stuff in here! You wonder where you're supposed to meet Professor Macrocyst. Maybe you're too early. Or could you be too late?

Is that the professor? Probably had too much coffee again.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a voice from behind you.

"So, it's Bingo, now, is it?"



"A good name. A strong name. But the beasts of the shadows don't care. The darkness consumes all color and identity, leaving only the fallacy of time and the myth of persistence. Your end will come, as it comes to all, and there will be none left to forget your name."



"Coffee?"

Sure, why not.

Long road ahead. Might as well get a good start with some coffee!

Say professor, why's it so dark in yer office anyways?

Sure, why not.

Long road ahead. Might as well get a good start with some coffee!
Say professor, why's it so dark in yer office anyways?

"Sure, why not? Gotta be prepared for the big adventures coming my way!"

The professor pours some coffee into a mug on a nearby table.



"Any reason for it to be so dark in here today, Professor?"


"Yes, in fact," he replies as he hands you the coffee mug.

"Only in the darkness can the full range of shadow beast behavior be properly expressed and thus observed."




"When the first human settlers emerged from their vats and stepped foot into the sunlight of this world, they knew not what wondrous terrors awaited them. Only when the sun set and shadows fell did the nightmares creep from their hiding places and reveal themselves unto our forbears.

"We've learned much since then, but we've yet to unlock all the secrets of their forms. For instance, look over here..."



"I'm certainly not the first to observe the common Keuriglet, but here in my laboratory only this morning did I witness and record the first ever transformation of a Keuriglet into an adult Cowfee."

Oh its not that bad. More surprising the coffee is safe to drink. Wonder how long that took to figure out.

Anyways doc, you mentioned nightmares but these are a bit, uh. Not-Nightmarish. Cowfee there is pretty disturbing, but not really nightmarish per-say. Keuriglets practically look like good pet material. Not some deadly secret these little fellers have, is there?

...Oh, what about ones that live under beds? Blue, red eyes, lots of teeth?