you've been peeling bananas wrong this whole time

it turns out that bananas won't speak, but if they do they have to give up their precious innards

It turns out you can get most of it off with a toothbrush

it turns out you need to grow the banana inside a cubical container, which makes the peel easier to peel

It turns out you're supposed to provide a decoy banana onto which you can gently transfer the skin, one stringy bit at a time

it turns out that thanks to the square-cube law a banana peel is 16 times smaller than the banana it's around

it turns out holy crap I actually peeled one.

It's beautiful inside.

it turns out first you must make a pact with the dreaded banana man, and receive its blessing to learn the ritual of the seven blasphemous fruits, in turn teaching you the way to the hidden cult of the eternal peel, whos monks will for the low price of everything you have left will finally, finally tell you to go home. The banana is now peeled.

it turns out you're supposed to slice it lengthways then use a spoon

It turns out you should just extract the insides using whatever the fresh hell this is

it turns out it's just a curvy carrot

it turns out bananas actually have a second, vestigial peel just below the first one.

it turns out you have to rock it gently to sleep first

it turns out peeling bananas is wrong, give them to bigfoots instead

It turns out there's no correct way because we haven't passed a rule relating to it yet.

it turns out that it passes rules 3 and 4

it turns out you need to wait for the banana to develop an off-by-1 error, for which then every 25 bananas there will be a banana that doesn't have a peel

it turns out you need to use a scanner to print out the banana without the peel

it turns out you need to ripen it so much that its ripeness overflows and it becomes green again

It turns out that you need to hold down the A button and then spend 12 hours in a parallel universe.

It turns out you need to 3-D print one by editing the banana blueprints so that it doesn't have the peel.

it turns around every now and then you've got to feel a little bit lonely and never come around

it turns out you have to keep giving the banana ideas on how to peel itself at least once a day

it turns out you're supposed to attach it to a bicycle pump, a couple rounds on that and the skin'll pop right off

it turns out you've got to use a beer bottle opener to pop off the top and then just tilt it back and drink whatever's on the inside