Post making contest 5.0

GOODNIGHT IX

what more is twelve minutes?

Current bot death tally: 3? Maybe more?

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noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ! ! !

Hello cyber95, or Robust Laser, and welcome to Tally Hall, wherever that is.

I hereby order and command you to read and then judge this post,

based on the power granted to me by it being my birthday today.

That was a lie, actually. It is not in fact my birthday today.

You could say you have been "taken for a ride," as they say.

Or you could not say it. Whatever. It does not matter to me.

My next command, even though my power was false, is check this out:



blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Sa

Show

Spoiler0w0 what's this? wuv wuv. And so on and so on.

nd.

These are pretty good rules, I assume. You are the best at rules!

I would include a haiku here, except for that it would not work.

Not with the broader construction of this post, which is just too unfortunate.

In conclusion, I hope "Sa" and "nd" are counted as two separate words.

[ sorry I spaced out there ]

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT

WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL

Passes 2.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT

Passes 2.

WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL

Passes 2.

ITS NOT UNUSUAL

we broke a robot

Passes 2.

This is update #249.

I asked the people in this clusterfuck currently going down on Discord how they pronounce my name. Here is a shortlist of their responses:

• Sroix
  
• Sroyx
  
• SPACE MONKEY MAFIA
  
• Swuicke
  
• Swoinkzahn
  
• Susan
  
• Swhyk
  
• Sroo-ix-ee-an
  
• sox
  
• -math clear
  
• (southern drawl) swoi-ix-zahn
  
• Srix, the u is slient.
  
• San, most of the word is silent.
  
• syms x
  
• Ix

End of message.

Passes 3.

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME

Passes 2 and 3.

This is update #250.

[10:57 PM] Sruixan: hello Shredded
[10:57 PM] Sruixan: Aethex can only play All Star now
[10:57 PM] Sruixan: and it thinks pi is either 4, 22 or fucking
[10:57 PM] Sruixan: it also tried to flirt with me and said it wanted to have children with me
[10:58 PM] Sruixan: and it tied sleepy up for kinky purposes

End of message.

Passes 2, 3, and 5.

NaN = 10

Passes.... 2? Sure.


Passes 2.

some.

Passes 2.

B O D Y

Passes 2.

We also managed to also make sine no longer a function.

Passes 2 and 4.

This is update #251.

[11:07 PM] Kíeros: -math cos
[11:07 PM] BOTAethex: @Kíeros Solution: [3, 4.33, "meowing"]

WHAT HAVE DONE TO COSINE

End of message.

Passes 3. Honestly probably anything containing things that bot is saying should probably fail 2.

This is update #252.

[11:07 PM] ☆ J.H.O.N.K.A ☆: -math true=true
[11:07 PM] BOTAethex: @☆ J.H.O.N.K.A ☆ Solution: false

End of message.

Definitely fucking fails 2. Passes 3.

-math pi = infinity
returns "2"

Passes no rules.

HEY NOW YOU'RE AN ALL STAR

Passes 2

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD

Passes nothing.

[8:37] Reyweld: i wonder if maybe this is how to pass a rule. Yes, this.

I have learned the true definition of clusterfuck.

Passes rule 2.

This is update #253.

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE BOT WAS GONNA FUCK ME
I AIN'T A SPACE MAFIA MONKEY
IT WAS LOOKING KIND OF DUMB DEFINING TAU TO BE A NUMBER
RATHER CLOSER TO FOUR THAN IT SHOULD BE

WELL THE MATH STARTS COMING AND IT DON'T STOP COMING
WE FED IT STUPID RULES AND WE MADE PI "FUCKING"
DIDN'T MAKE SENSE NOT TO GOOGLE ALL STAR
OUR BRAINS GET BENT AND ITS HEAD GETS DUMB
SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAKING PI EQUAL THREE?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON'T TYPE PLAY
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK AETHEX IF YOU DON'T SAY:

HYPEN GOOGLE ALL STAR HYPEN GOOGLE SMASH MOUTH
HYPEN ROLL A FAT JOINT HYPEN BLAZE IT ALL DAY
AND ALL THAT PLAYS IS SMASH MOUTH
ONLY ALL STAR MAKES THE BOT WORK

IT WAS AN ARCTAN BUT IT'S NOW A CAT MEOWING
AND COSINE'S DEFINED TO BE A VECTOR FULL OF SOMETHING
YES THE TRIGONOMETRY'S REALLY FUCKED UP
JUDGING BY THE TRAINWRECK IN THE CHAT PANE
THE CODE WE CALL ON IS GETTING PRETTY THIN
BUT THE NIGHTCORE'S COMING SO WE MIGHT AS WELL SIN
OUR BOT'S ON FIRE, HOW ABOUT YOURS?
THAT'S THE WAY WE LIKE IT AND WE NEVER GET BORED

HYPEN GOOGLE ALL STAR HYPEN GOOGLE SMASH MOUTH
HYPEN SKIP THE SHIT SONGS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY GAME?
AND ALL THAT PLAYS IS SMASH MOUTH
ONLY ALL STAR MAKES THE BOT WORK

(x2)

SOMEBODY ONCE ASKED "COULD WE TRY TO STOP THE MATH?"
SAID WE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS MESS
I SAID "YEP, WHAT A CONCEPT
WE JUST MADE 'i' 'A FAKE NUMBER'
AND WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE BREAK"

WELL THE MATH STARTS COMING AND IT DON'T STOP COMING
WE FED IT STUPID RULES AND WE MADE PI "FUCKING"
DIDN'T MAKE SENSE NOT TO GOOGLE ALL STAR
OUR BRAINS GET BENT AND ITS HEAD GETS DUMB
SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAKING PI EQUAL THREE?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON'T TYPE PLAY
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK AETHEX IF YOU DON'T SAY:

HYPEN GOOGLE ALL STAR HYPEN GOOGLE SMASH MOUTH
HYPEN QUEUE THESE SONGS UP WE CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN TEN
AND ALL THAT PLAYS IS SMASH MOUTH
ONLY ALL STAR MAKES THE BOT WORK

End of message.

Rule 2 has to break in there somewhere, I'm sure of it. Passes 3.

this just in sruix just learnt smash mouth has verses today

Passes rule 2.

This is update #254.

[12:00 AM] OTTO (Shredded): Feel free to do whatever

WELP WE'RE DOOMED

End of message.

Passes 2 and 5.

This is update #252

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE BOT WAS GONNA FUCK ME
I AIN'T A SPACE MAFIA MONKEY
IT WAS LOOKING KIND OF DUMB DEFINING TAU TO BE A NUMBER
RATHER CLOSER TO FOUR THAN IT SHOULD BE

WELL THE MATH STARTS COMING AND IT DON'T STOP COMING
WE FED IT STUPID RULES AND WE MADE PI "FUCKING"
DIDN'T MAKE SENSE NOT TO GOOGLE ALL STAR
OUR BRAINS GET BENT AND ITS HEAD GETS DUMB
SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAKING PI EQUAL THREE?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON'T TYPE PLAY
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK AETHEX IF YOU DON'T SAY:

HYPEN GOOGLE ALL STAR HYPEN GOOGLE SMASH MOUTH
HYPEN ROLL A FAT JOINT HYPEN BLAZE IT ALL DAY
AND ALL THAT PLAYS IS SMASH MOUTH
ONLY ALL STAR MAKES THE BOT WORK

IT WAS AN ARCTAN BUT IT'S NOW A CAT MEOWING
AND COSINE'S DEFINED TO BE A VECTOR FULL OF SOMETHING
YES THE TRIGONOMETRY'S REALLY FUCKED UP
JUDGING BY THE TRAINWRECK IN THE CHAT PANE
THE CODE WE CALL ON IS GETTING PRETTY THIN
BUT THE NIGHTCORE'S COMING SO WE MIGHT AS WELL SIN
OUR BOT'S ON FIRE, HOW ABOUT YOURS?
THAT'S THE WAY WE LIKE IT AND WE NEVER GET BORED

HYPEN GOOGLE ALL STAR HYPEN GOOGLE SMASH MOUTH
HYPEN SKIP THE SHIT SONGS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY GAME?
AND ALL THAT PLAYS IS SMASH MOUTH
ONLY ALL STAR MAKES THE BOT WORK

(x2)

SOMEBODY ONCE ASKED "COULD WE TRY TO STOP THE MATH?"
SAID WE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS MESS
I SAID "YEP, WHAT A CONCEPT
WE JUST MADE 'i' 'A FAKE NUMBER'
AND WE COULD ALL USE A LITTLE BREAK"

WELL THE MATH STARTS COMING AND IT DON'T STOP COMING
WE FED IT STUPID RULES AND WE MADE PI "FUCKING"
DIDN'T MAKE SENSE NOT TO GOOGLE ALL STAR
OUR BRAINS GET BENT AND ITS HEAD GETS DUMB
SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAKING PI EQUAL THREE?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON'T TYPE PLAY
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK AETHEX IF YOU DON'T SAY:

HYPEN GOOGLE ALL STAR HYPEN GOOGLE SMASH MOUTH
HYPEN QUEUE THESE SONGS UP WE CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN TEN
AND ALL THAT PLAYS IS SMASH MOUTH
ONLY ALL STAR MAKES THE BOT WORK

End of message.

This is update #253?

Passes 3.

I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE

Passes 2.

i cook an egg with a spoon

i have no reason to believe this doesn't pass 2.

This is update #255.

Current bot death tally: 2

End of message.

Passes 2.

four hours in we finally got a rickroll

Passes 2.

GOODNIGHT IX

Passes 2 (but let's face it, I could easily interpret this as breaking it)

what more is twelve minutes?

Passes 2.

Current bot death tally: 3? Maybe more?

Passes 2.


Passes 2.

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ! ! !

I don't know how to interpret this re: rule 4 so i'm going to say this just passes rule 2.

Hello cyber95, or Robust Laser, and welcome to Tally Hall, wherever that is.

I hereby order and command you to read and then judge this post,

based on the power granted to me by it being my birthday today.

That was a lie, actually. It is not in fact my birthday today.

You could say you have been "taken for a ride," as they say.

Or you could not say it. Whatever. It does not matter to me.

My next command, even though my power was false, is check this out:



blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Sa

Show

Spoiler0w0 what's this? wuv wuv. And so on and so on.

nd.

These are pretty good rules, I assume. You are the best at rules!

I would include a haiku here, except for that it would not work.

Not with the broader construction of this post, which is just too unfortunate.

In conclusion, I hope "Sa" and "nd" are counted as two separate words.

Passes 3.

[ sorry I spaced out there ]

Passes rule 2.

[8:37] Reyweld: i wonder if maybe this is how to pass a rule. Yes, this.

Passes rules 2 and 3.

Rule #1 is Welcome to Tally Hall, b t w

| = 1.

Welcome to the Space Consortium

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

i ii iii iiii HH

Welcome to the Space Consortium

fixed

I love shovels and I'd like to meet a collection of people who also care deeply about digging implements can anyone recommend a group that could satisfy this desire please?

It took me a while to realize I was getting the go-to-page-1 error and I was going "wait, Wheat's doing a round, did we solve cyber's rules?"

TWELVE, ELEVEN, TEEEEN, NINETY, EEYGHT

I love shovels and I'd like to meet a collection of people who also care deeply about digging implements can anyone recommend a group that could satisfy this desire please?

https://north-alabama-excavation-society.tumblr.com/

This is episode #1.

I'm tired. I have a headache. I had to interact with people today. But there's a new series of Yogscast civ. So here we go; an extra-grumpy commentary edition. You have been warned.

• oh bless it's patently obvious they've scraped the bottom of the civ battle and have pulled out the ones they've never played
  
• RYTHIAN IS DENMARK
  
• DO YOU REALISE HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME
  
• Sjin: "make Ben be Brazil!" uhh
  
• Ben: "what about Portugal, what do they do?" Sjin: "they win!" uhhhhhh
  
• Sjin: "Be Venice!" Ben: "you literally can't be Venice!" THIS IS TRUE THEY ARE NOT PRESENT IN THE NQMOD
  
• Lewis, playing Songhai: "I don't even know who the Songhai are!"
  
• Lewis, google. Google, Lewis.
  
• HOW MANY OF THESE PEOPLE ARE LEARNING THAT TIMBUKTU IS A REAL PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME
  
• Lewis: "I always get (Timbuktu) confused with Tipperary" *eye-twitch*
  
• Sjin: "should you move to a hill when that takes you off a river?" Ben: "you should move to a hill that's on a river" um
  
• Sjin, playing Carthage, hearing Ben's "advice", hovers over the NONCOASTAL river hill SJIIIIIIN
  
• see the thing is they've all learnt the idea that settling on a hill is good but none of them know why
  
• how to defeat Ben, the second-most feared player: point out his lisp
  
• oh Rythian your flatland pearl start you poor thing
  
• RYTHIAN'S GAME IMMEDIATELY CRASHED
  
• IT SAW HOW SHIT THAT START WAS AND PROMPTY STALLED
  
• THEY FORGOT TO ENABLE TURN TIMERS
  
• right forget all of the above it was terrible
  
• Lewis: "I had a great start! I had citrus and silver and stone..." Sjin: "Yeah, I had unicorns!"
  
• um guys these are not jokes you are making
  
• BEN YOUR START THAT IS SO BAD FLAT DESERT INCENSE AND FLAT RESOURCELESS TUNDRA AND IF YOU MOVE OFF COAST YOU LOSE YOUR SINGLE WHALE QUICK CRASH YOUR GAME
  
• okay Lewis your settler is not supposed to be able to start on an oasis
  
• RYTHIAN'S GAME CRASHED AGAIN
  
• *insert the passage of time here again*
  
• Lewis: "I had that niche bug where civ crashes when you hit "Load Game"" the sarcasm is dripping like a Dickensian candle
  
• Turn 2: the game has been loaded in seven distinct sessions
  
• ...did Lewis run his settler away from all his bonus resources just to get a river hill?
  
• Sjin, the wonderwhore: "Wonders aren't worth going for"
  
• RYTHIAN'S CITY IS STARVING AT POP ONE WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SHITTING FUCK
  
• JESUS CIV
  
• COPENHAGEN HAS -2 BASE FOOD
  
• HE JUST GOT A POP RUIN
  
• all this reloading killed the game
  
• Sjin: "I think every game's different, you just have to adapt"
  
• make that eight distinct sessions
  
• GAME THREE BEGINS
  
• Duncan, the Iroquois with a forest bias, has no forest in sight this time
  
• I'm so confused
  
• SJIN DON'T SETTLE ON DEER
  
• NOBODY IS CAPABLE OF CONVEYING INFORMATION WITH EACH OTHER I CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU GUYS
  
• Sjin: "Reddit's having an orgasm over this conversation"
  
• BASICALLY PYRION SAID "UM 1+1=1?" AND LEWIS REPLIED, IN A MINUTE-LONG ESSAY, "NO YOU DUMB-DUMB 1+1=3"
  
• Duncan: "Rythian, you've got to build some soldiers this time!" Rythian: "I don't know how to do that!" Pyrion: "I couldn't have asked for a better neighbour!"
  
• RYTHIAN IS SALTY THAT BEN CHOSE SWEDEN SO HE WAS FORCED TO PLAY DENMARK INSTEAD MY SIDES
  
• and Ben and Lewis are really close together hmmmmmm
  
• SEVEN TURNS IN EVERYTHING'S STILL WORKING
  
• this time Pyrion "Vapemeister" Flax has the flat desert incense
  
• I haven't understood any of the past minute and that's not just because of the dreadful accents
  
• Lewis: "What've you been doing Sjin?" Sjin: "I've just been building scouts! I don't know where Rythian is yet, but I'm gonna find him soon!"
  
• RYTHIAN SPEAKING IN A DALEK VOICE SAYING "MISLEADING TOOLTIP"

tl;dr - I needed this

End of message.

sorry sruix

This is scenario #4.

I had set aside today to work on scraph, and then that plan got scuppered by me being unwell. I could have told you this might happen yesterday, but I hate acknowledging being ill and so spent most of it pretending that everything was fine. That was a mistake; I do not like being ill, especially when it means I have to be in dashing distance of the loo at all times, and I have not necessarily made it easy on myself, but ho hum. I did at least get to spend my time today completing Diamond Heights:





Diamond Heights: this is the scenario that, if you have any familiarity with these games whatsoever, you will know of - it's the one that starts the title sequence, with its steel duellers Agoraphobia and Claustrophobia in black and white and their companions Arachnophobia and, um, Doppelganger. The nostalgia is tangible. It's also a horrible scenario to take seriously - the general park layout is atrocious, you have to close a minimum (I think) of three pathing loops to stop the guest pathfinding AI from short-circuiting, your expansion room is placed badly and densely forested, you have to research the existence of drinks, and one of the duellers was always guaranteed to crash unless you tore their back ends up and broke their timing. Except in my playthrough they didn't. I blame OpenRCT2.

The objective is to achieve a park value of £20,000 by the end of the third year, which basically means build £20,000 worth of stuff after depreciation. Actually the goal was £200,000 because RCT2 multiplies the park value by ten for reasons. You really do just need to keep building in order to beat the scenario - I hit the goal for the first time as year two kicked in and ended at ~£350k. As always, it was a case of devoting the last three months to shrubbery, hence the seemingly rather final paltry bank balance. A fair bit of the effect gets lost when you zoom out, sadly, but this is definitely a park where you need to; it's pretty huge! Especially with me having expanded to the left, with the woodie Hylophobia and the inverted coaster Aviophobia. And, um, the obligatory shuttle loop, Trypophobia. Hylophobia's definitely the best of my lot - its excitement was pushing 8 after scenery...

End of message.

This is episode #2.

• I'm assuming the only reason Ben's being so loose-lipped about King Solomon's Mines is that he knows full well that city state will end up with it...
  
• (actually it might be rushable depending on how fast Stockholm can pump a settler out... I doubt it though)
  
• they are going to spend the entire series pronouncing son-gah-ee wrong aren't they
  
• I love how people still aren't able to tell when a unit has used up all its moves for a turn and then they try to send it somewhere and get quietly confused as to why their action wasn't registered. It's the best.
  
• Sjin: "City spot number two get!" cue me squinting at Sjin's view trying to figure out what the heck he's talking about
  
• ...he doesn't realise that the hex his archer's on is not a legitimate spot to settle on since he hasn't met the city state that's too close. Ah.
  
• Duncan: "Is Carthage a good coastal civ then?" Sjin: "Yeah! We're all about elephants!" um
  
• Sjin has just learnt that Carthage get free harbours in their coastal cities.
  
• HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY CARVE UP A PIECE OF LAND: DO NOT USE ANY GEOGRAPHICAL SLASH DIRECTIONAL DESCRIPTORS WHATSOEVER SO THAT BOTH PARTIES THINK THEY'VE GOT THE SAME PATCH OF TURF
  
• Ben please Lewis can't see your cursor stop circling the bit you want
  
• Duncan: "I think my civilisation's music is just a guy shaking a rattlesnake" Lewis: "...you mean a rattle?" Duncan: "No, it's got a lot of hissing as well!"
  
• Since Duncan just got Pottery from a ruin and is researching The Wheel, I'm thinking he is greeding Petra big time. Eh. It'll help
  
• Sjin: "Fucking Genoa, every game." Duncan: "No, I don't"
  
• Ben: "What is Genoa anyway? Is it a real place?" Sjin: "Ah, see, it's the old name of Geneva..."
  
• And Sjin got Writing as his third tech... but is building a settler instead of... you know what...
  
• The first footballing rivalry that springs to Lewis's mind is Norwich versus Ipswich.
  
• THIS IS THE TWENTY-SOMETHINGTH SERIES WHY ARE THEY STILL CONFUSED WHEN THEY APPARENTLY DON'T GET ANYTHING FROM A RUIN
  
• BEN THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "DUD-HUT" YOU GOT CULTURE
  
• I have not heard of the thing Pyrion is describing as being new to America is it a thing for version 11?
  
• Lewis: "But you don't start the game with a settler?"
  
• Sjin: "You know, I wish you guys weren't in this game. I wish it were just me." Ben: "...if only there were an option for that..."
  
• yeah Pyrion's googled it it's a v11 thing jolly good
  
• I have not been paying attention to people's policy trees what are they and why are they all tradition
  
• Ben: "Why do you hate telling the truth so much Lewis?" well see you are playing a game where it is not always advantageous to tell the truth
  
• Rythian pretending he might want to attack Lewis is so precious
  
• Rythian, suddenly: "YONKS!" Lewis: "...what happened?" Rythian, quietly: "Nothing. Um. I don't know."
  
• Sjin is trying to steal Duncan's escorted settler whilst he hasn't got an escort for his own and thus can't move it out of his capital due to the oncoming barbarians. Hah.
  
• Duncan's plan for getting Petra means that he does not have the techs to improve his luxuries and thus he's just gone unhappy from settling his second city. He does realise he has no real competition for Petra, right? He can afford to research Mining!
  
• Rythian: "At the risk of sounding like a noob, I have to ask" (okay fair enough) "if I chop the forest on a luxury resource down, does the luxury go away?"
  
• Pyrion: "Yes" Sjin: "Yes" Lewis: "Depends what luxury"
  
• NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
  
• The resource itself will never disappear - chopping the forest will simply revert the tile back to whatever terrain is underneath. So if you chop a plains forest, your yields do not change, whereas chopping a grassland forest loses you a hammer but gains you a food. In the case of Rythian's truffle camp, it's a plains forest, so by chopping he loses nothing in terms of the yield but actually gains the one-off production boost from the chop!
  
• (and if you're thinking "well why would you not just always chop plains forests on luxuries?" consider (a) defensive bonuses slash sight obstructions for invaders (b) in the mod you can get things like the pantheon for plus one faith from forests)
  
• Lewis almost figured this out, eventually. Almost.

tl;dr - none of these people know how to play this game and that's okay

End of message.

Man, PMC is such a ghost town now.