Million Dollars But...

i think it'd be annoying if i kept hiccoughing so many times in a row and i just want some quiet.

the infamous dictator thing might be useful somehow but mostly i'd just stay inside where nobody can see me.

Why not take both, for two million dollars?

well with that money, i can buy my own nazi regime! It all works out,,,,,,,,,

what if you were

gender dysphoria is over

congrats

I've got a highly appropriate one for today.

Million dollars but whenever you get lost or have to ask for directions,
you have to referee the world championships of a sport you have never seen before.

or...

Million dollars but whenever you do
laundry, your evil twin sabotages you.

I'm pretty sure that with a million dollars you can hire someone to do your laundry for you.

a million dollars can afford you many hundreds of GPS's

wait wait i got one

"A million dollars, but you're dead"

I want to see endless new sports! That sounds FASCINATING.
I mean, unless they're all just subtle variations on the exact same thing. "In THIS version of the game, a goal is worth two and a HALF points." "In THIS version, it's a whole two and three-quarters!"

Where is the downside my toastery dude

I'll take the laundry, getting someone to do the laundry for you isn't too costly.

Where is the downside my toastery dude

god only accepts japanese yen, so you'll be stuck with a million of something you don't need

I'll take the laundry. If I have a million dollars, I can just pawn off my old clothes and buy new ones if they get dirty.

Is the referee thing instant, or does it pop up on your calendar like "oh shit now I gotta do this thing in two weeks"

What if NOBODY has seen the sport before? That would be pretty great; all the calls you make are as legit as anyone's guess.

I think I'd take the laundry one just for the sake of having an evil twin I could scapegoat everything on to. I could pin all my crimes mischief on him and if people don't believe me I can just do laundry to summon him.

i don't do laundry anyway

i will stink forever

It's time for another MDB!

Million dollars but whenever you shake someone's hand,
your other hand must be touching a toilet.

or...

Million dollars but whenever you smell something
pleasant, you have to pet a nervous skunk.

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Yeah, easy. Shaking hands is lame.
Some people keep pet skunks, though. I think the other one is also viable.

My sense of smell ain't great, except for cinnamon for some reason. I could probably get a skunk descented like a ferret and keep it as a pet. Too bad it's always nervous though.

Pet skunks are good. Fistbumps are also good. Can I have both?

Honestly with my two million dollars this should not be a problem

Is it like a dirty toilet or is it like a nice toilet. I know a lot of nice toilets. Either way I rather take the toilet one, I smell lots of nice things and don't want to stress the skunk out.

Guess who just got expansion pack number one!

Million dollars but whenever you stop at a red
light, you must drink a glass of curdled milk.

or...

Million dollars but whenever you sneeze, you have to bury
a dead animal in your yard in full view of your neighbors.

Also, some of the new card have blanks to be filled in, so if you want, feel free to suggest concrete nouns (sorry, nothing like "hope" or "unemployment") to make a funny, Hawkspace-personalised choice.

i will have to systematically dismantle all red lights.

Who needs laws anyway.

Or i could just wear glasses that make everything red look slightly auburn.