Literally Fucking D&D

Ok you guys I am uh, the dungeon master.

Our setting will start with:

You guys are in a bed inside of a "Cool Guy Motel" and you must all meet up in the lobby.

Write up your character in the messages or something I dunno.

rogue

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*whiny kid voice* no, I wanted to be the rogue!
fine.
theif.

Rogue 3, master of the running gag

Asking us to take anything seriously at first glance is a losing proposition

i forgot to put an alignment


consider S'k'k'k'k'k'k to be unaligned

My dude is a warlock. I think.

Druid druid druid druid

Also, when do we literally fuck the D&D?

That is the end goal obviously.

I want to be a dragonborn warlord

Funny thing, my first ever DnD character was/is a dragonborn Druid. I'll probably have this guy a dragonborn as well. We can be Dragon-pals.

the only thing that confuses me is why anyone picks anything that isn't a dragonborn

Urban Ranger with points in Stealth and surprise attacks.

I'll be the snarky familiar. We have no wizard, so I'm not actually anyone's familiar. Fortunately, since we have no wizard, no one knows enough to question this.

I'm the secret wizard

Can I be the Secret Millionaire

i will be the ascetic billionaire

bardbarian

i play/fight with an axe

i made a typo, sk'k'k'k'k'k is actually a wizard

I'll be the Shopkeeper; travelling around with the adventurers, selling them limitless mysterious goods, cashing in gold while secretly desiring company and enjoying being helpful.

Ok so you guys are in your REALLY RADICAL beds and um you must get out and get a bag of food from the vending machine outside your room.

What do?

i contemplate stealing, selling the vending machine and subsequently donating the funds to charity