Adventurers plops, ripe for the grabbing

You are a whistling wizard douche.

You have just discovered that croissants bathed in moonlight act as conduits for a multi-dimensional gateway.

There exists a holy figure within the kingdom of bread, he is a croissaint.

Apparently whenever a snake hears a song from South America it grows legs and begins dancing uncontrollably.

Go on a quest to sacrifice hobos to your blood god named Booda not to be mistaken for Buddha. Ever. Don't make that mistake.

A family feud between to mafia families on the show Family Feud.

In the twin towns called Bleck and Hvuait a rainbow demon is causing calamity by turning everything into a garish Lisa Frank nightmare.

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or similarly asshole-y suggestions

You have to mountainboard down the tallest mountain ever. It's the only way to save the town below from the evil mountainboarding sorcerer who is also going down the mountain. If you make it to the bottom before him, with more sick jump points, he will be powerless to turn everyone into his Xtreme zombie army.

"Oktoberquest"

You ate too much at thanksgiving. You knew that fourth serving of pumpkin pie would be your last, but not with the same gravity. You have ceased to be.

Meanwhile, two new people sit at the dining table. How do they feel, thrust in this world with memories that are not their own and knowledge they never learned? Escape the family that was once yours, and yet, was never yours, and come to terms with your strange existence.

Adventure idea: The first person after an update makes one command. Everyone else can only either second it or unsecond it.

An Undertale AU where you just stay in the house with Toriel and she destroys the exit to the ruins.

You have inherited a large sum of fruity religious oil paintings from your recently deceased grandfather. Unfortunately you let the blinds open and the sunlight has make the already decades old paint completely dehydrate and shatter into a bazillion dried up paint chips. You must repair them before Mister Snixerbruftuggg comes over for a visit.

A jungle yeti has kidnapped your divorced husband because it has a homicidal contempt for people who live in poverty. You haven't spoken to the poor guy in 30 years but a life is a life, y'know?

Every important worker around the world spontaneously commits mass ritual suicide, leaving the downtrodden NEETS to rule the resulting wastelands.

A German man must combat his inner dick devils as a large bratwurst rampages through the streets of Hamburg.

A Scottish police officer must track down and arrest the strange serial killer called "The Boxer" who strips the corpses of his victims of their clothes and puts boxer underwear on their heads.

concepts from drawful:

The worst part of being prom king: taking on responsibility for leading your prom troops into prom war with the neighboring high school's prom

You find a message - a single line within - in a bottle washed up on the shore. The line extends, out and down, into the blue depths of the ocean

The Moon, The Horse, and Eleven Dried Tomatoes

You are an assassin being chased by the ghosts of your victims and you have to keep moving to another country before the next full moon or else your victims will kill you and turn you into their personal zombie slave. Your goal is to find a way to exorcise the ghosts once and for all. Suicide is not going to work, because the curse activates as soon as you die.

You are a nomadic house, seeking a town with other houses that would welcome you. The problem: Your design is so awful that other houses respond to your presence as if you were diseased.

You have been falsely accused of murder. Time to clear your name, right?

There's just one problem. You were going to kill the victim. You had this whole elaborate plan, and it was working perfectly, right up until you stumbled onto the body.

So how are you going to uncover the real killer without having your machinations exposed?

You have just teleported to an alternate universe where burritos give you a poisonous and contagious rash on your nose.

An undead crab sues the French chef who refused to cook it when it was alive.

You have used an occult science ritual to transform yourself into a tiger made out of bacon strips. This wasn't quite what it was hyped up to be.

You have invented a suit that allows you to teleport to and traverse alternate universes made primarily out of anti-matter. But what caused you to undertake such a risky and foolhardy endeavour? Anti-matter M&M's simply taste too irresistible to let your common sense get in the way.

After being exposed to the sun for too long you have gotten a nasty form of skin cancer, luckily you had magical sunblock on! Unluckily it has made your skin really stretchy and long. You now look like you are carrying several deflated mattresses on your head and shoulders but it is all excess skin. Kill the wizard that gave you that sunblock. His name is Uhdem Sendler.

You are a humanoid plant with a debilitating flatulence problem, this is good for mankind but oxygen in copious doses is lethal. So after participating in a bean eating competition you must hold in your farts, lest you poison your friends or something. Wait.... Aren't beans plants? Does this make you a cannibal? What a dilemma! What a horror! OH THE PLANTMANITY!!!

You have the superpower of eating chickens whole in 5 minutes. You are the shame of the village of Kromazostarwovafophastokowskikov.

Your teacher is an undercover cop and he has just arrested your best friend for illegally smuggling blue crystal sugar in your primary school. You better stop that car before your pal faces 20 years in prison and he's only like what? 9? TOO YOUNG TO DIE.

It turns out that clowns are actually just regular people who want to make people laugh and make ends meet. Who would have thought? Not you apparently. You are still murdering innocent clowns.

The roadkill corpse of a raccoon has told you that you are in fact the anti-christ. Or you could just be tripping on cactus juice again.

A capricious spiritual shaman midget demands store-brand hot dogs at all hours of the day and refuses to do anything else for anyone. What a dick.

You have to break the news to a small child about the death of their parents, but you don't have the heart. Literally. Your heart was removed to make you a calmer and more calculating surgeon, but it had many undesirable effects. Patiently wait through people talking with obviously selfish agendas while not understanding why the crossword isn't the front page of the newspaper every day.

Every Monday, at 4:30 pm precisely, you die, coming back to life after a few hours.

Everyone in the world goes colour blind in different ways, and every animal can now see the entire spectrum of light.

A planet that is just a gigantic hive of carnivorous bee aliens has been hijacked by space pirates, who are dragging the planet to earth. In the hopes of making it collide and drowning out our oceans in sweet, sweet delicious venomous honey nectar.

The god of feng-shui has turned you into a powerful decorator, able to rearrange your surroundings to your whims. ON A 10th DIMENSIONAL LEVEL. MOTHERFUCKER.

You can barf out disgusting goblin babies from your gut who represent all your baggaged negative impulses. You decide to make a profit by monetising them, however due to whacky, charming 80's movie hijincks your business may be shut down as these bastards run rampant all over town. THEY'RE THREATENING TO TEAR IT ALL DOWN. motherfucker.

A ghost has been possessing you for such a long time, that your pee has turned into ectoplasm. "Sniff" "Sniff" but could it be? No... It smells too familiar... OH MY GOD IT IS THE SECRET INGRIDIENT TO ECTO-COOLER!

Your pal Isaac invited you to his Mazel Tov. That's it... There's nothing else.....

Every time you kiss someone, whether on the cheek or on the lips. They die. After 9 days they rise up as exact clones of you, with all of your memories. They can't kill or convert others into you though.

You are full of holes. Bullet holes. To clarify: you are dead.

You are the independently wealthy Captain Barnacle, the anthropomorphic polar bear. You have shelled out billions of dollars to construct The Octopod, a mobile undersea base, as well as hired a crack team of anthropomorphic animals to crew it full time in your not-for-profit ecological organization "The Octonauts"

In addition to rescuing various sea animals, there is a lot of work to be done behind the scenes, including securing charitable donations to help pay operating costs, applying for permits to operate within the waters of numerous sovereign nations, taking The Octopod into port for repairs, handling all the insurance paperwork for employees, oh and try not to let your bumbling second in command Quazii the cat incur any lawsuits against your operation.

You have been surrounded by cloaked figures of red since birth. They follow you around everywhere. On your 18th birthday they have revealed their true appearances underneath the robes. Chocolate cakes with human eyeballs on the top of the candles and extremely long spider limbs!?

You are a turnip farmer disappointed with your lack of income. You have nothing good happening in your life. All you can dream about is buying a proper toilet for the household.

Baron Robber the robber baron has decided to arrest every surviving zoroastrian left alive after the great Prakhnumforfipicht.

You are a pirate with a shrimp and peanut allergy. Your wife has been taken to the sea of peanuts and shrimp. This is incredibly insulting for you because you also hate the formerly popular webcomic called Homestuck and the name of the sea keeps reminding you of it.

Souls are actually the sperm of gods. But wait that's not all of it! If a soul of anything is raised outside of a corporeal host body it matures into a weird insect monster that sprays magical chocolate syrup on you which grants you precognitive vision for a whole 7-day week. THE PROBLEM IS that you live in a world where a 9-day week is a seemingly natural thing, long ago it was foretold that you would die from uncertain doom and you have a sneaking suspicion that it is drawing closer and closer yet. You have acquired one of these divine soul insects and yet you simply have no idea on what day to use the magic syrup.

You are a cat leading a violent revolution against humanity's nations, with the ultimate goal of creating a human-cat hybrid abomination because of a prophecy written inside a sunken pyramid that promises the birth of such a creature would herald the True Ending of the world's story.

So I'm playing a strategy-RPG and I run into this filler battle against a pack of bandits.

And when the battle starts, I notice that they're all mage classes.

So, here's an idea for someone to play with: why did a group of mages turn to banditry?

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X-Files but in the Pokémon universe.

Every second, the oldest person in the world turns into a statue.