Post making contest 5.0

12345

Passes no rules.

g0m

Passes rule 2

12345

Passes no rules.

g0m

Passes rule 2

:))))

"):}\"#
@$"
!!^"\"
\a\b\c\d\e\f\g\h\i\j\k\l\m\n\o\p\q\r\s\t\u\v\w\x\y\z
'\"

12345

Passes no rules.

g0m

Passes rule 2

Passes rules 2 and 5.

:))))

Passes no rules.

"):}\"#
@$"
!!^"\"
\a\b\c\d\e\f\g\h\i\j\k\l\m\n\o\p\q\r\s\t\u\v\w\x\y\z
'\"

Passes no rules

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12345

Passes no rules.

g0m

Passes rule 2

Passes rules 2 and 5.

:))))

Passes no rules.

"):}\"#
@$"
!!^"\"
\a\b\c\d\e\f\g\h\i\j\k\l\m\n\o\p\q\r\s\t\u\v\w\x\y\z
'\"

Passes no rules

Passes 2 and 5

This is test #1.

End of message.

This is test #1.

End of message.

Passes no rules.

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I've got Canada in my pocket, a little bit of history; I bought out every official of every province and territory.

Passes rules 2 and 5.

:))))

Passes no rules.

"):}\"#
@$"
!!^"\"
\a\b\c\d\e\f\g\h\i\j\k\l\m\n\o\p\q\r\s\t\u\v\w\x\y\z
'\"

Passes no rules

Passes 2 and 5

Passes two and five.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Passes no rules.

I've got Canada in my pocket, a little bit of history; I bought out every official of every province and territory.

Passes no rules.
Edit: Actually passes rule 4, just barely.

1st Floor
Get on my elevator, baby we're going up
Give me that now and later, I can't get enough

2nd Floor
Let them go, all the one's tryna get in the door
I'm a go where they all couldn't go
Up a floor, up a floor, up a floor, oh

3rd Floor
I know, we can get higher
There's levels to your love
Yeah, there's levels to your love

4th Floor
Levels, levels, levels, levels
Levels to your love
Yeah, heaven can't reach us
Yeah, we're high-fiving Jesus
Yeah, yeah

5th Floor
And I know, we can get higher
There's levels to your love
And I keep on climbing up

ROOFTOP

1st Floor
Get on my elevator, baby we're going up
Give me that now and later, I can't get enough

2nd Floor
Let them go, all the one's tryna get in the door
I'm a go where they all couldn't go
Up a floor, up a floor, up a floor, oh

3rd Floor
I know, we can get higher
There's levels to your love
Yeah, there's levels to your love

4th Floor
Levels, levels, levels, levels
Levels to your love
Yeah, heaven can't reach us
Yeah, we're high-fiving Jesus
Yeah, yeah

5th Floor
And I know, we can get higher
There's levels to your love
And I keep on climbing up

ROOFTOP

I'm going to say that this doesn't pass rule four, but it could go either way.

Rhyme time!

Rhyme time!

Passes no rules.

This is a haiku
It is not at all like you
Go take a hike, you

Thyme time!

Thyme time!

S'age!

we have made all of the posts possibly makeable

we totally have not

Let's see, as of Unicode 9.0 (according to Wikipedia), there are 128019 graphic characters, 153 format characters (like spaces), and 65 control codes. Not all of these control codes, however, can be used in a post (sorry, bell). Thankfully, tab, linefeed, and carriage return are, so that means there are a grand total of 128175 characters that can make up a post.
Now, the limit on the number of characters in a post is 65535, so that means there are 128175⁶⁵⁵³⁵ total full-length posts, or about 7.78×10³³⁴⁷³⁹ posts. HOWEVER a post doesn't have to be full length, so we also need to consider all posts of length 0, 1, 2... 65534 as well. Thankfully, the sum from i=0 to n of xⁱ is just (xⁱ⁺¹-1)/(x-1). So, plugging that all in gives us... a near negligible number of additional posts. So the grand total, to as much precision as Wolfram Alpha will allow me is...

Show Content

Spoiler7.780010208681719765348852921114468637464253965871869004052236752989903032734261787249381368632342296025392685926540661646616269886653931361659918530516967521144525478216481235794580517616015331170614480185235641777418508648518979587299976596137855987272271673104471075455009073502990756102649388548095757947414551058814537418661181030428742963365922268880138055903763811948610931055427700903172916426886147301706468958432097269725665903061557526685137291823658387673030999063054156956398703429994764568728454542710368691756418198200268806427429261816740502891636024681556561969113555494184287307997232232879706078198504388925949995085144697205739498165741339633031136900300085888526289552977061243615625357634678100172092667065046541746015700257942741686823919850605759542761935146800010388674242820695508282257874278264063392357004452464395019754265256960256163153796633637296827982936801435311155038366495487335966712840152031505311581221399181250746019306074592308847543113324622934652995004365885878065726094152387179771559391549137564309465566032414153441420323311723297578522716852507507625821822068626801920161475441345129040783948979074018660995160009051180253317730926663745897625464770362335915256549671177997748856079932637995417977436500635059730657970680261055845080752857485374327733678377722530473927117567649609498331385912809553739872131223387631619551509563923586926541620437468488142775806791977254427683804531949625021374820859188041388870528982514160732654372868555019576944637270011337203144925763232458857510775054130859082187672084759085286510177676964329875917284895252450773540572542188924806846011004587263265479317146160290948298269666259645894278747880059938879049861668071275256972793300115254332317003598407203204088551450694899612338756593774188751867461052929119185380348927012078123154063240788086442187520118377203076978760385348344097705219769418090193844211329203866035141138583114705576775757969142534193837411248243349984668871229386604577722585007827596530332134228267572323197251187265546956138407323498335055637818021198147891414399414226063136396854342304055879142676276700412378589001979372294449802049132363146519676011285565739347377103772383169216828947187339916785216945656389814523941902432182389422944147319863631843095802872638108587366412569075887599506734886334454378832680569121860404879571065588644128732353258923775459136171594481642271553270003677535294415545922338901351762789649503595255318684255393940589847314216683014691017914455036511818964630454374302904760632197882148826591287407032758035496000842615147327982459510016803032372409257228165996091320902132601267333174614963589950938413637492928697857385042270932105226906779921643394314454896531809543448725468307838559310725374675772982967867565434624630327617797724051365948810048900919534936630901775344108413566628333428090653169191202221371541384859184218198294940211147768112676813217085907528117369151246276533790188656714849701917004374632365440659859364644469257231257643544406795615935091656210088273141951484437301692174018731669560850409018412066341546198885500094865084966127360866070964095522183557668559356715564784198512149659229563699795047432617613660491195200861260303540245074186653853255852739631783008065083863536097648662791480923544611610740236661643345570471037869771120553076213339739312980752051391139083069596085857451550908427943870780378420620958221968515585057429773892419843208458270913301586549872140403735889780352378225552055113929440872006660377721220000946181070550786843449063430671591530588976116295075858915560846491944734089441928110870492369076545619711095657966227954072076225433539...×10³³⁴⁷³⁹

I think that's just slightly more posts than we have made.

Your math is off, according to my calculations there are exactly eight possible posts

1. Passes all rules except Rule 2
   
2. Smouldering landfill of bad posts, steadily accumulating atop the ancient graveyard of mean-sprited postmake souls
   
3. Pictures of non-anthropomorphised animals
   
4. lists
   
5. The whole some shit. The rl good stuff
   
6. Umami
   
7. Miscalibrated humor-pellets flying straight for the SMoulerding Landfill
   
8. Punchlines

Tag urself I'm 1, 2, and 8

Wait, where do memes fit into that list?