come up with the worst dating sim plots you can

i'll start

sports themed anime dater: you are Sport-chan and there are a lot of cute senpais in all the different sport clubs at your school... but you have a flat chest and they all like boobs! you know this because they compare their boob sizes in the locker room. anyway the trick to gaining their affection is to act cool and also stuff sports balls into your bra depending on which sport their in (basketballs for basket-chan, baseballs for soft-chan)

okay now it's your turn

You are a girl in an all-bird school and you have to date pigeons to save the world from a horrible disease.


Oh wait, you said worst. I thought you said best.

A dating sim in which you can only date presidential nominees!!! #topical #funny #lmao #cute #funnycatvideos #100emoji #instagram #sponsored

you must impress them by farting

You're an archaeologist and you're trying to determine when the various artifacts you dig up were made.

You are trapped in an empty void, where you are the only thing in it.

You're trapped in a building with dozens of clones, and the only way to tell any of the clones apart is by very slight differences in their haircuts. You can only leave by getting a key from all six romanceable clones, but the game doesn't tell you which ones they are. If you ever get any of the clones confused with another clone at any point in the game, they all realize that you're trying to cheat on them with themselves and you immediately get beaten up by every clone in the room and lose.

You go to dog training school expecting these to be magical talking dogs who also turn in to really cute boyfriends.

But they're just normal dogs. The game / everyone around you keeps pressing you to date these completely normal dogs and everything is horrible.

Everyone in the dating sim has leprosy. You have to strategically date the characters, as everyone (including you!) is slowly dying. Body parts fall off in heightened moments or if you're doing terribly.

You date emojis, and all the text in the game is replaced by emojis.

Or, 🔞👰💓😀📲📖👌

[quote='Kíeros' pid='146099' dateline='1469216248']
You date emojis, and all the text in the game is replaced by emojis.

Or,

[quote='Kíeros' pid='146099' dateline='1469216248']
You date emojis, and all the text in the game is replaced by emojis.

Or,

Oh god quoting that post does bad things

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Isn't that going to be a movie?

Isn't that going to be a movie?

why.

Sponsored tie-in! Even betterworse!

Time Fucker: you date older and younger versions of the same time traveller because you don't live long enough to grow older with them normally

Time Fucker: you date older and younger versions of the same time traveller because you don't live long enough to grow older with them normally

That sounds pretty great, actually. I would play that if it was free, because who wastes money on dating sims other than Hatoful Boyfriend am I right?

You're a robot and you're trying to understand organic relationship habits, so you pick a life-form and attempt to attract them.

It's called Carbon Dating.

You're a fish in a lake and you're looking for another fish for some good times.

It's called Date A Bass.

every time you use a public bathroom to poop a mysterious stranger always sits in the stall next to you and flirts

you're playing madden nfl with your bros but the game is haunted, and you get turned into a talking football. you must find true love to break this horrible curse

a swimsuit competition gets heated, leading to rivalries, teamwork, and... love? also everyone is a literal worm

an interdimensional experiment goes horribly wrong, taking away an hip scientist grandpa's fortune, family, and worst of all, his collection of classic rock albums. now he must find a new life in the anime world- but will he find true love?

what if, everyone was genitals, and instead of genitals, they had little people sticking out of them,

official smash mouth dating sim