a52 report: now accepting bribes

that's right! i've officially gone corrupt, and am more than willing to accept vast quantities of money or valuables for potentially illicit goods, services, or political positions!

place your offers or requests here!

I thought this was in general chat, and was really interested as to what it would be about. I thought it was going to be an art-commissions style thing for classical music or something to do with math (I don't know what).

However, for the low low price of doing the same for me, I will vote to give you the lower of moderator / admin privileges for just Hawkspace.

I'll give you 50 hawkbucks to make your avatar look the other way

I'll give you 100 hawkbucks to make Granolaman's avatar look the other way

Let's talk business here.

How big of a bribe do I need to get you to refuse my bribe?

I'll give you 3 years of my life if you'll eat this whole bowl of beans

I'll give you 250 Hawkbucks if you also turn around Mirdini's and DragonFogel's avatars.

However, for the low low price of doing the same for me, I will vote to give you the lower of moderator / admin privileges for just Hawkspace.

you gotcherself a deal. now you keep this on the down-low, and i'll do the same.

(+1 vote for mayor)

I'll give you 50 hawkbucks to make your avatar look the other way

i'll pay you back in full if you do the same for a while.

just a warnin' tho', i can only keep this up for so long before the uppers get suspy. best do your stuff quick.

(+Ꜧ50)

I'll give you 100 hawkbucks to make Granolaman's avatar look the other way

deal is in the works, awaitin' a response from another client. but i'll pay you back in full if you.. ignore any discrepancies you may come across for a while.

Let's talk business here.

How big of a bribe do I need to get you to refuse my bribe?

all i needya to do is look the other way for a bit. got some business needs attending to.

I'll give you 250 Hawkbucks if you also turn around Mirdini's and DragonFogel's avatars.

in progress, my friend.

GREASE ON PALMS:
Ꜧ50
1 vote for mayor

I'll give you 3 years of my life if you'll eat this whole bowl of beans

listen kid, i don't know how you got back here or gotten hold o' that, but you might be gettin' yerself into more than you can chew. that said, i ain't never refused a client, and that's a mighty tasty offer...

lemme get back to you on that one

My, what an absolutely captivating underside to these letters.

My, what an absolutely captivating underside to these letters.

thanks for the help. *clumsily slides a large briefcase under the desk. it contains a single Ꜧ50 bill*

(-Ꜧ50)

I'll give you 100 hawkbucks to make Granolaman's avatar look the other way

deal done. the other offer still stands, but for now, i'll be taking this.

(+Ꜧ100)

"REELECTION" FUNDING:
Ꜧ100
1 vote for mayor

Jokes on you i cant chew nothin cus i dont got no teeth, all gums baby

Thats why i need to you to eat this whole bowl o' beans

I'll give you 1000 hawkbucks if you don't run for mayor and keep Hawkspace in a state of anarchy and disrepair.

myeth confirmed grandma that needs their meal pre-chewed

I'll give you 3 years of my life if you'll eat this whole bowl of beans

dunno what you needed this for kid, and i ain't gonna ask, but it's yours.

SpoilerShow

(+3 years of Myeth's life)

I'll give you 1000 hawkbucks if you don't run for mayor and keep Hawkspace in a state of anarchy and disrepair.

ohohoho, trust me, if i'm elected, you won't be disappointed.

as a matter of fact, if there are any.. favors.. you want, things you need done, i'd be happy to oblige in exchange for your vote.

CONTRABAND:
Ꜧ100
1 vote for mayor
3 years of Myeth's life

now eat unfried plasma-state beans for half of a life. specifically, cobalt-60's.

I'll show you a rare jpg if you can sum these numbers for me

28 63 197 17 142 83 8 26

don't ask why I need this or the deal's off