Recycling

Today is your first day working at the Eagle Time Recycling Center, and you're nervous. Even though you're sure everything will be fine, you can't help but worry that something big will go wrong and you'll have to fix it.

But obviously that's silly. This is just a recycling center, and it's well-staffed. Even if there's anything here that can go horribly wrong, there are other qualified personnel who will be able to take care of it. You know that your worries are ill-founded.

Hopefully, you'll be more comfortable when you actually get started on the job... wait, what time is it? Oh damn, you must have overslept! Your shift starts in fifteen minutes! And the recycling center is on the other side of town!

You can't be late on your first day of work. How are you going to get there in time?

Important Information In Spoiler

SpoilerShow

Yes, it's Yet Another Goddamn Fogel Adventure. But this one has a twist! Every suggestion you make has to be recycled - in other words, quoted from another adventure.

Please note that the suggestion has to be used in the source adventure - it's also nice if you can provide a link to it. The suggestions you recycle from can be from adventures on Eagle Time, on MSPA, or on other forums; but if you don't link to it and I don't recognize it, I probably won't use it.

Quoting suggestions that you made in the first place is allowed. Just try not to overdo it.

And finally, feel free to quote suggestions even if they don't make any sense for the current prompt. That just makes it more fun for me.

>Open console, enter sv_cheats 1 and explodestartmenu();

>Chickens: set loose.

>Chickens: set loose.

Unable to think of a plan, you simply rush out the door. Then you see the Eagle Time Chicken Repository across the street and suddenly, inspiration strikes.

If the chickens were released, they'd soon start crossing all the roads in the city, and the resulting confusion would slow traffic down immensely. You'd have the perfect excuse, as long as you weren't caught freeing the chickens.

Quickly, you rush into the Chicken Repository. It's closed today, so you have a chance to act while all the employees are gone. You soon find the main control panel on a wall near the central chicken pen, and you boot it up.

You have the following options:
>CONSOLE
>OPERATIONS
>DATA
>ADMINISTRATOR

What are you going to do?

>Open console, enter sv_cheats 1 and explodestartmenu();

You suddenly remember a command involving "CONSOLE". Okay, so maybe it's actually from your favorite video game, but recklessly acting on vague hunches is what got you where you are today, dang it, and you're not about to give it up now.

Upon choosing the >CONSOLE prompt, the control panel asks for a command. You enter the command "sv_cheats 1", and it brings up a screen filled with incomprehensible letters and numbers. You completely ignore that screen and just type in "explodestartmenu()".

The monitor suddenly reverts to the original menu, then explodes in your face, knocking you back against the far wall. As you pick yourself up, you see the chicken pen is opening and the chickens are running wild into the city.

Within minutes, traffic will be in utter chaos and you'll have the perfect excuse for being late. You just need to get out of here before anyone notices you. You start running back towards the front door and...

Whoa! Just as you reach the main hallway, you spot Officer Big Pecks coming in through the front door! You quickly duck back into the corridor before he notices you. He must be here to investigate the chickens' release. You'll be in trouble if he finds you here; you don't work here and the place was supposed to be closed for the day.

You'll either have to avoid Officer Big Pecks entirely, or come up with a good excuse for your presence here. Either way, you need to think fast; you can already hear Officer Big Pecks coming this way.

What's the plan?

> Equip that one blue necktie.

> Disguise yourself as a vampire! See how he reacts.

> Equip that one blue necktie.

Thinking quickly, you pull your blue necktie out of your pocket and put it on. Maybe you can pass yourself off as a confused executive who's been stuck in here all night.

Unfortunately, you're not very good at putting on neckties. Your clumsy efforts to tie it leave you with more of an extremely awkward headband with one arm stuck inside it. And you can hear Officer Big Pecks drawing closer.

Maybe you'd be better off pretending someone attacked you and tied you up with your own necktie. But you're not going to be able to pull that act off convincingly from in here. You dash into a nearby room, maybe you can find a chair and act like you had a really awkward time getting out without damaging your necktie.

Unfortunately, this room is devoid of chairs. Except... wait a minute! You can spy the notorious furniture thief Cathedra Davenport sneaking out a window in the corner of the room, and she's carrying a chair on her back. She has her back to you right now; maybe if you stop her from escaping, you can somehow pin your chicken-releasing crime on her! But she's nearly out the window. What's your best course of action here?

> Disguise yourself as a vampire! See how she reacts.

SpoilerShow

Hey now, no editing commands for gender! Editing to fix spelling mistakes is okay, though. So is intentionally leaving spelling mistakes in if you want to see what I do with them.

In a sudden fit of inspiration, you come up with a brilliant idea: what if you pretend to be a vampire and attack Cathedra? You might be able to frighten her into running in the opposite direction, where Officer Big Pecks will no doubt arrest her and probably conclude she sent out the chickens to distract from her chair theft.

With your free hand, you pull out the plastic fangs you always carry around for some reason you've long since forgotten, and put them in your mouth. You then make a clumsy effort to convert your black shirt into a cape. You're the most convincing vampire ever!

You rush over to Cathedra just as she's about to squeeze out through the window, and shout "I vant to suck your blood!" She turns, sees you, and screams.

Then she climbs back in, much faster than you would have expected, pulls the chair off her back and hits you with it a few times, before tossing you unceremoniously out the window into the sunlight.

The noise draws Officer Big Pecks' attention, and he runs in and spots Cathedra. At least, that's what you gather when you hear him shout "Cathedra Davenport! You're under arrest!"; you can't exactly look back in because you're busy clumsily pulling yourself to your feet.

You think it might be a good idea not to be around in case Officer Big Pecks decides to search for other potential criminals on the premises. But where should you head? You've got your job to get to, of course, but you might want to do something about your appearance first.

> Power up Puncharello with some of that complimentary Pink Drink!

> To the laboratory!

> To the laboratory!

Of course! The lab next door probably has some experimental new transportation device you can use to get to work. Maybe you should have checked there before unleashing hordes of chickens on an unsuspecting populace, but it's too late to do anything about that now.

You enter Eagle Labs and discover a large crowd inside. Apparently you're not the only one desperate enough to use experimental technology to go across town before you're late for work.

Luckily, Professor Puncharello owes you a favor, and you know the way to his office. You just need to get past the crowd. You carefully edge your way through; fortunately, people are willing to give you some space, considering you have one arm tied to your head with a blue necktie and are wearing your shirt like a cape. Unfortunately, the lab's doorman isn't so easily persuaded. He simply glares at you before speaking up.

"And just who do you think you are, cutting ahead of the whole line?"

"I, uh, I have important business here," you say in desperation.

"And what might that be?"

"I'm here to... uh, to..."

You'd better think fast. What are you going to tell him you're here to do?

> Power up Puncharello with some of that complimentary Pink Drink!

Suddenly, you spot a cooler filled with Pink Drink by the door and inspiration strikes.

"I'm here to bring Professor Puncharello his morning Pink Drink!" you declare confidently. "He's been listless and forgetful lately and he called me to bring it to him in his office so he can feel more energetic. He forgot to grab it on his way in, and he's much too busy right now to come out here and fetch it himself."

The doorman gives you a glance-over.

"And why are you dressed like that?"

Damn, this guy asks tough questions. What are you going to tell him?

>A scream of frustration, perhaps, from someone trying to finish a game of Solitaire when they have a card missing from their deck?

YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO WIZARD!

YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO WIZARD!

"YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO WIZARD!" you shout at the doorman. He looks at you confused. You have to admit, you aren't entirely sure why you said it that way yourself. Thinking quickly, you concoct an excuse.

"Ah, what I mean is, that's the name of a book I got for my birthday. It's about learning how to do magic. I need to stay like this for at least another five hours to complete the ritual, in hindsight I guess I could have waited for the weekend."

The doorman simply stares at you.

"And, uh, what does this ritual do?" he asks finally.

"It's, um, different for everyone. It's a way to find out what sort of magic you're best at. But you really need dedication."

"I see."

He pauses, unsure of what to do. You might be able to persuade him to let you through with just one more excuse, if it's good enough...

Suddenly, your thoughts are interrupted by a scream from behind the door.

"What was that?" the doorman shouts. "I'd better check it out. Wait here"

Oh no. If he leaves now, he's not going to let you in at all! What can you possibly do?

>A scream of frustration, perhaps, from someone trying to finish a game of Solitaire when they have a card missing from their deck?

Inspiration strikes. You think you can use the scream to your advantage.

"Wait! I think my magic is starting to manifest now!" you say. "I can sense what that scream is!"

"You can?" the doorman asks skeptically. "So what is it?"

"They need this." You quickly reach into your pocket and pull out the Two of Hearts that you keep in there for some stupid reason you can't even remember good luck. Hmm, this could be tough. "I am developing an affinity with cards, and I sense a deck with no Two of Hearts near that scream. It is being used for a game of Solitaire and it is crying out in despair."

The doorman is stunned.

"You sure? That scream sounded pretty serious to me..."

"It is very serious. The screamer has a strong bond with the cards. If this imbalance is not corrected, it could be a matter of life and death."

You try very hard to keep a straight face, as if you know what you're talking about.

"Well, I guess you're the expert here," he says with a sigh. "Go and take care of it."

You thank him, and quickly grab a glass of Pink Drink to go with your earlier cover story before running inside.

But once you step in, you see the real cause of the scream.

Your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions.

> Steal your sisters striped light blue panties and stockings, and wear them!

SpoilerShow

The worst suggestion, ever.

>Open door. It's the apocalypse.

hurmmm drive off in a sweet ride??? idk im bad at this stuff

Your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions, your tender regions.

All of your thoughts turn to defending your tender regions as you spy the Lesser Shrieking Impolite Woodpecker in the middle of the hall. This bird has a reputation for screaming loudly and diving directly for the sensitive areas of anyone who draws near.

Right now, it's chasing after Professor Puncharelo, who's running around in a panic. Of course, there's no reason to think it won't turn its attention on you given the chance...

But you can't ignore it. The professor is your only chance of getting to your new job on time. You've got to save him! Preferably while keeping your own gentleman's region safe, of course...

> Steal your sisters striped light blue panties and stockings, and wear them!

SpoilerShow

The worst suggestion, ever.

Suddenly, inspiration strikes! Your sister works in this lab, too. And you happen to know her locker combination. You might be able to find her spare clothes, and use them to confuse the beast and save Professor Puncharelo.

Quickly, you rush to the break room, and find your sister's locker. You awkwardly punch in her birthday on the keypad, and pull out...

Her striped light blue panties and stockings. Well, this is awkward. As a tech stares at you strangely, you quickly offer an excuse that your sister needs these urgently, then run off before he can ask any more questions.

In the hall, you awkwardly pull the panties and stockings on over your pants. You remember hearing that the Lesser Shrieking Impolite Woodpecker is easily confused by cross-dressing, you just hope you're cross-dressed enough.

You rush over to Professor Puncharelo, and push him safely out of the way. The woodpecker stares at you and stops screaming as it tries to figure out what its next move is. That's enough time for Professor Puncharelo to grab it and put it back in its cage.

"Thanks," he says, wiping his brow. "I guess that's two favors I owe you now." He pauses and stares at your ensemble. "Um, did you need me for something?"

You explain that you're going to be late for work.

"Oh, is that all? I have the perfect solution to that! It's just behind this door here!"

He proudly points to a door marked "DANGER", "NO REALLY KEEP OUT", "OPENING THIS DOOR IS A BAD IDEA", among various other warnings.

You wonder if you should open it. Are you that desperate to get to work?

>Open door. It's the apocalypse.

Yes, you are. You can't give a bad impression on your very first day! With your one free hand, you bravely thrust open the door, revealing a large rocket. For some reason, it has wheels.

"Behold! The Apocalypse!" Professor Puncharelo declares. "This is the fastest vehicle in the world! It should get you where you need to go in no time!"

Something about this Apocalypse makes you nervous. Still, it's a ride. Are you really going to turn it down?

hurmmm drive off in a sweet ride??? idk im bad at this stuff

Heck no! You hop in the Apocalypse and get ready to drive off!

Professor Puncharelo presses some buttons on a nearby wall panel, and the Apocalypse is launched! You fly off, towards the recycling plant...

Wait a minute. You seem to be headed the wrong way. If you keep this up, you'll end up...

Wait, where are you going to end up?

> Any chance of getting in contact with both planets before you get there to see who needs your help the most?

If not then:
> Suburbion

> Oh my god, is that pikachu?! at the top of the mountain? go geddit!

https://eagle-time.org/showthread.php?ti...2#pid16472
>Take a closer look at those stalagmites.

https://eagle-time.org/showthread.php?ti...2#pid16472
>Take a closer look at those stalagmites.

In an effort to find your bearings, you take a look at the nearby stalagmites you're flying past...

Wait a minute. Why would there be stalagmites in the sky?

...Oh. You're not in the sky, the Apocalypse is some kind of underground vehicle. Maybe you're headed for work after all...

Wait, what's that?

> Oh my god, is that pikachu?! at the top of the mountain? go geddit!

Your phone's spotted a Pikachu at the top of Puppy Mountain! Oh geez, you're already running late, but what good is it if you arrive at work but miss out on catching that Pikachu? Man, you'll be the envy of the whole town with it. You're pretty sure no one else here has a Pikachu!

Well, your only option is to change this thing's course. It can totally go to the top of the mountain, right? There's lots of underground under a mountain, that should get you close enough!

But these controls are weird. They're just pictures of two planets. How do these work?

> Any chance of getting in contact with both planets before you get there to see who needs your help the most?

If not then:
> Suburbion

Your first thought is to make a call to the planets, which totally makes sense, but you can't figure out how to get the Apocalypse's radio working. So you just touch the planet labeled "SUBURBION" and wait to see what happens next.

So, uh. What does happen next?

> Call him Ishmael.

> Attempt to put every single goddamn point into Luck in a symbolic, middle-finger-esque gesture to Apollo.

All nite londry all night londry stuff gets weird and pretty pondry
all night washing all night washing physics weird and time is moshing

clean! (clean)
Clean! (clean)
Clean! (clean)

all night londry