Post making contest 6.0

ass of the river

space burrito

Passes rule 5

burrito space

Passes rule 5
Passes no rules!

buttrio

Passes rules 3 and 5

the river of ass

Passes no rules!

fremp

Passes no rules!

SPACE burrito

Passes no rules!

s p a c e burrito

Passes no rules!

THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD!!

Passes rule 3

anyone want a burrito?

Passes rule 5
Passes no rules!

ass of the river

Passes no rules!

All of the above.

Um..... pass.

This is update #264.

So I've recently ventured into the restaurateuring business courtesy Lasers's wonderful generosity and yeah Cook Serve Delicious sure is a frenzied bundle 'o fun. My ramshackle establishment has made it through ten days of service so far, specialising in salads and sodas but doing good trade in ice cream and corndogs too. And uh, I guess I have pretzels and sopapillas also, but they haven't been on the menu so much...

• Day 11: Gee, thanks past sruix. You got the menu all prepped for the upcoming rainy day before stopping last time. That's real considerate of you...
  
• I totally get the guy who's come in at 9:02am for three scoops of chocolate ice cream. Keep living the dream, buddy.
  
• cherries should not make that loud a thud when you put them in a bowl
  
• Day 12: What's that, Crazy Dave? Want me to get a x20 perfect combo whilst having salad and ice cream on my menu? Those are two of my staples, this'll be a cinch...
  
• ...gonna shell out on air conditioning now, though, because I'm better safe than sorry...
  
• x61 COMBO PERFECT DAY HELL YEAH
  
• Day 13: so I now have $550 extra dollars and customers today are going to be extra patient because of some favourable glitch in the rent system TIME TO BUY SOMETHING NEW
  
• ...because day 13 is the best time to try out something relatively more complicated...
  
• huh well I just tried out baked potatoes and WHY IS BUTTER "Y"
  
• ...what's the worst that can happen?
  
• POTATOES WERE A MISTAKE
  
• BUTTER WAS NOT THE PROBLEM I COULDN'T FIND THE CHIVES
  
• THIS POOR LADY ENDED UP WITH CHEESE THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT AND THEN THE GUY BEHIND HER GOT FLAVOUR BLAST IN HIS SODA AND THEN I FORGOT TO DO THE DISHES
  
• THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT
  
• but I got through the evening rush hour just fine somehow
  
• and that was the most I've ever made in tips okay maybe I'll just have to get used to potatoes
  
• Day 14: I am going to purchase the enhanced security despite not having had a robbery yet. Call it a pre-emptive manoeuvre.
  
• I only fucked up one potato today! I'm improving!
  
• Day 15: there's gonna be a safety inspection today, so potatoes are coming off that menu pronto
  
• (they had menu rot anyway)
  
• x57 COMBO PERFECT DAY YESIREE
  
• Day 16: so apparently I would be trusted to do catering events now hahahahahaha
  
• unfortunately I have neither burgers nor pizzas so I cannot provide for a burger and pizza party
  
• WAIT THE ICE CREAM UPGRADE IS MINT CHOC CHIP THAT'S MY FAVOURITE
  
• and everything comes sensibly labelled with its first letter best $750 dollars I ever spent
  
• also I'm finally gonna pick up the dishwasher for quality of life purposes
  
• uuuuuurgh so when you accidentally push the cup size up too large on the soda machine it is such a struggle to restrain yourself from hitting that down key instinctively NOPE YOU GOTTA LOOP AROUND DOWN IS GONNA POUR THAT GRAPE DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN
  
• I managed not to screw myself over though so WOOHOO x61 COMBO PERFECT DAY
  

End of message.

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

TWELVE

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

This guy has wifi coverage as big as his smile!

All of the above.

Passes rule 5

Um..... pass.

Passes no rules!

This is update #264.

So I've recently ventured into the restaurateuring business courtesy Lasers's wonderful generosity and yeah Cook Serve Delicious sure is a frenzied bundle 'o fun. My ramshackle establishment has made it through ten days of service so far, specialising in salads and sodas but doing good trade in ice cream and corndogs too. And uh, I guess I have pretzels and sopapillas also, but they haven't been on the menu so much...

• Day 11: Gee, thanks past sruix. You got the menu all prepped for the upcoming rainy day before stopping last time. That's real considerate of you...
  
• I totally get the guy who's come in at 9:02am for three scoops of chocolate ice cream. Keep living the dream, buddy.
  
• cherries should not make that loud a thud when you put them in a bowl
  
• Day 12: What's that, Crazy Dave? Want me to get a x20 perfect combo whilst having salad and ice cream on my menu? Those are two of my staples, this'll be a cinch...
  
• ...gonna shell out on air conditioning now, though, because I'm better safe than sorry...
  
• x61 COMBO PERFECT DAY HELL YEAH
  
• Day 13: so I now have $550 extra dollars and customers today are going to be extra patient because of some favourable glitch in the rent system TIME TO BUY SOMETHING NEW
  
• ...because day 13 is the best time to try out something relatively more complicated...
  
• huh well I just tried out baked potatoes and WHY IS BUTTER "Y"
  
• ...what's the worst that can happen?
  
• POTATOES WERE A MISTAKE
  
• BUTTER WAS NOT THE PROBLEM I COULDN'T FIND THE CHIVES
  
• THIS POOR LADY ENDED UP WITH CHEESE THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT AND THEN THE GUY BEHIND HER GOT FLAVOUR BLAST IN HIS SODA AND THEN I FORGOT TO DO THE DISHES
  
• THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT
  
• but I got through the evening rush hour just fine somehow
  
• and that was the most I've ever made in tips okay maybe I'll just have to get used to potatoes
  
• Day 14: I am going to purchase the enhanced security despite not having had a robbery yet. Call it a pre-emptive manoeuvre.
  
• I only fucked up one potato today! I'm improving!
  
• Day 15: there's gonna be a safety inspection today, so potatoes are coming off that menu pronto
  
• (they had menu rot anyway)
  
• x57 COMBO PERFECT DAY YESIREE
  
• Day 16: so apparently I would be trusted to do catering events now hahahahahaha
  
• unfortunately I have neither burgers nor pizzas so I cannot provide for a burger and pizza party
  
• WAIT THE ICE CREAM UPGRADE IS MINT CHOC CHIP THAT'S MY FAVOURITE
  
• and everything comes sensibly labelled with its first letter best $750 dollars I ever spent
  
• also I'm finally gonna pick up the dishwasher for quality of life purposes
  
• uuuuuurgh so when you accidentally push the cup size up too large on the soda machine it is such a struggle to restrain yourself from hitting that down key instinctively NOPE YOU GOTTA LOOP AROUND DOWN IS GONNA POUR THAT GRAPE DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN
  
• I managed not to screw myself over though so WOOHOO x61 COMBO PERFECT DAY
  

End of message.

Mint chocolate ice cream may be wonderful, but unfortunately, this only passes rule 5.

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

Passes no rules!

TWELVE

Passes rule 5

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

I am going to be really technical, and say this passes 3. I don't have to be anywhere near as technical to say it passes 5.

This guy has wifi coverage as big as his smile!

This too passes rule 3.

[][][]

88888

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

And thus the APPOINTED ONE spoke; "This too shall pass. Behold! All rules have been struck down before the light."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Functional_square_root

dog

dog

malaise

malaise

malaise

Passes rule 5

[][][]

Passes rule 3

88888

Passes no rules!

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

Passes no rules!

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

Very technically passes 3, but nothing else.

δια τουτο ευφραινεσθε οι ουρανοι και οι εν αυτοις σκηνουντες ουαι τοις κατοικουσιν την γην και την θαλασσαν οτι κατεβη ο διαβολος προς υμας εχων θυμον μεγαν ειδως οτι ολιγον καιρον εχει

Less technically, only passes 3.

And thus the APPOINTED ONE spoke; "This too shall pass. Behold! All rules have been struck down before the light."

But Nay, the KIEROS spake; "Yon post only passeth the third and fifth rules of this set".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Functional_square_root

Also passes rules 3 and 5.

dog

Passes rule 5. Oh, and also passes half of rule 1. You've been having so much trouble with this one, I think you need it.

dog

This only passes the same half of rule 1 as the previous post.

malaise

Passes no rules!

malaise

Passes rule 3.

malaise

Passes rules 3 and 5, and the same half of 1 that was passed before.

dog cat