Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

i am broken

i need fast cars cartoons

shank disney xd

I am just flat out Rip Torn over here.

we can fix that, friend

Shank: Scoffles

Very well (whale).

We need to settle our ceteacean judgement once and for all.

As for me, what better weapon for a future whale regent than the majestic narwhal.



Look at this magnificent bastard.

SpoilerShow

People, people. We should all keep our focus on what's important here.

For this statement (and a song from an artist I like) you will not be getting a visit from me tonight.

An excellent choice of weapon. I will need to think carefully on what best to wield in response.

Ah, yes, I know. I could choose another kind of whale, but my mastery of these majestic creatures is such that it would simply grant you too great a disadvantage. I am aiming for victory, not humiliation.

So instead, I shall march into battle wielding the apparently-immortal Granolaman. This plan cannot possibly go wrong in any way.

I recommend you sharpen granola's feet into points so you can wield him like some sort of hideous trident.

I recommend you sharpen granola's feet into points so you can wield him like some sort of hideous trident.

There is very definitely a joke to be made here, but I can't think of a way of making it that doesn't result in me being shanked in the face.

USE IT OR LOSE IT, SRUIXAN.

Well I am not going to be distracted by this whale fight. I like whales and duels to the death as much as the next guy but this Anomaly intrigues me. So far it has been largely ignored.

I search my tribal roots for any story or prophecy relating to a great swirling vortex of space and time

OW IT HURTS WHEN I LAUGH

Well I am not going to be distracted by this whale fight. I like whales and duels to the death as much as the next guy but this Anomaly intrigues me. So far it has been largely ignored.

I search my tribal roots for any story or prophecy relating to a great swirling vortex of space and time

SpoilerShow

Is that a dayactivation or just sillyness? I get those confused
QE: Fixed the tags

It is a goddamn travesty that we're not getting around to murdering someone. Nine votes is our current max wagon?

Despicable.

Come on guys let's just get to murdering Red so we can get our nightshanks on.

Hey Granola is it okay if I sharpen your feet into evil points.

If you are presumably alive by the end of the whaleduel, you gain more points, hence more shankvantage.

Well I am not going to be distracted by this whale fight. I like whales and duels to the death as much as the next guy but this Anomaly intrigues me. So far it has been largely ignored.

I search my tribal roots for any story or prophecy relating to a great swirling vortex of space and time

SpoilerShow

Is that a dayactivation or just sillyness? I get those confused
QE: Fixed the tags

Is mostly silliness based on my backstory

Not all mortals

Shank Granolaman

Red709 - 9 (Solaris, Dragon Fogel, Pharmacy, cyber95, Palamedes, makerofthegames, Red709, x1372, amosmyn)
Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Sanzh, Sotek, SupahKiven)
makerofthegames - 4 (Whimbrel, ICan'tGiveCredit, druplesnubb, Granolaman)
Granolaman - 4 (Acionyx, BlazerC, konec0, beruru)
amosmyn - 2 (Dalmationer, Demonsul)
"Anomaly" - 2 (Chwoka, Crowstone)
Dalmationer - 1 (antisequitur)
Pick Yer Poison - 1 (Fragowump)
Fragowump - 1 (Phish)
Schazer - 1 (Gnauga)
"Anyone opposed to creating a shankproof mech" - 1 (Sai)
- 1 (Bigro)
Akumu - 1 (Pharas)
Whimbrel - 1 (AgentBlue)
druplesnubb - 1 (Not The Author)
"Elvis" - 1 (yd12k)
"the spacetime anomaly" - 1 (antisequitur)

Abstaining - 15 (Akumu, Seedy, Coldblooded, Niall, Deviant One, fivex, Prime Intellect, Ixcaliber, Breadpocalypse, Plaid, Mikeee, Truegreen, Everanix, Chocolate Pi, Pick Yer Poison)

Clearly we need more alphabetized shankery

beru and koneco should leave the granolashank and coldblooded, deviant one, everanix, fivex, Gnuaga, Ixcalibur, /then/ koneco, Mikee, Niall, Pyp, Red, Truegreen, Whimbrel, x1372, and yd12k


That seems contrived enough to kill an immortal unless the missing letters are the secret??

Well I am not going to be distracted by this whale fight. I like whales and duels to the death as much as the next guy but this Anomaly intrigues me. So far it has been largely ignored.

I search my tribal roots for any story or prophecy relating to a great swirling vortex of space and time

SpoilerShow

Is that a dayactivation or just sillyness? I get those confused
QE: Fixed the tags

Is mostly silliness based on my backstory

That's the most annoying mostly I've ever read in my life.

Acio knows best!

That all makes perfect sense to me!

Lynch Granolaman

I'd like to help the plan to perform an alphabetical shank. just fyi

I am just flat out Rip Torn over here.

we can fix that, friend

False

Rip Torn is dead

Deadening me would not make me /less/ Rip Torn




Also I would like to take the time to reiterate that everyone who shanks me tonight will have nothing at all bad happen to them




how have we not used this more

because you don't bring guns to a knife fight

Oh thats a gun? Lousy lobsters

You can shank my weapon alphabetically after this duel, dang it.

Now let's get this started.

I grab Granolaman and hop on the pantswhale's back, waiting for the duel to officially begin.