[split] The Return of Jester Mafia - GAME END!

I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT NOTTLES.

Why're you all electing people who want to be in charge? Studies have shown that the majority of eligible individuals who do not desire power would do a better job than those that do. Like that Ned Stark guy!

Point being: Elect Sruixan.

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"UNLESS IF" IS HIGHLY UNGRAMMATICAL.

I MUST LYNCH KIEROS HARDER

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SRUIX IS STARTING TO GET INCOMPREHENSIBLE I AM TEMPTED TO START LYNCHING HIM TOO BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL IN THE PAST THAT HE HAS BEEN A MODEL JESTER CITIZEN.

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As one of the apathetic masses who all you candidates rely on for votes, how is your term in office going to affect me? We swing votes need a certain catering to y'know.

KIEROS YOUR MORSE CODE TYPING THING IS TOO SLOW I GOT BORED IN THE MIDDLE.

GRANOLA IF I WERE TO TAKE OFFICE WE WILL KILL KIEROS. ALSO WE WILL HAVE A FUN FUNERAL PARTY FOR THE PREVIOUS PRIME MINISTER. THIS WILL BE THE START OF FREE BALLOONS. BECAUSE MY SUBSYSTEMS WILL TAKE OVER ALL ADMINISTRATION WORK, ALL COMPLAINTS, EVEN YOURS, WILL BE DEALT WITH IN QUICK ORDER. ALL PROBLEMS WILL BE CALCULATED AT AMAZING SPEEDS, WITH NO HARD WORK ON YOUR PART. THUS INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT YOUR OWN CRIPPLING INFERIORITY OR THE COLLAPSING RUIN OF YOUR FLAWED HUMAN SOCIETY, YOUR TIME INSTEAD WILL BE TAKEN UP BY HAPPINESS AND JOY AND FUN OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU PRIMATES PREFER BECAUSE LIFE WILL BECOME SIMPLER AND BETTER.

I WILL ALSO INTRODUCE PHILOSOPHY INTO PUBLIC EDUCATION.

You've gotta admit, worrying about crippling inferiority does take up a large part of the day.

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A uh... a question for the candidates. Where does your political platform stand on the matter of french doors and hotdogs?

I, as prime minister, swear to be 100% more fun and exciting than Robomalky. I also swear to hunt down the terrible non-jesters or fake jesters such as Purple Walrus and Kieros, for the good of jesterkind.

Finally I also swear to work with you all, to, in some way shape or form, get everyone killed in the best way possible. You heard me, FREE WINCONDITIONS FOR ALL (PROBABLY, HOPEFULLY). (Note: free wincon is not completely guaranteed and is only for those who vote Pala for Prime Minister of Jesterland).

Oh right and french doors are alright with me and anything that involves cooked (and therefore dead) dog is even better.

I rescind my malkyelectvote and vote to Elect: Palamedes

i do want a wincon

The national party of anonymous jesters approves of the systematic roasting and consuming of any and all canines.

It also doesn't know what french doors are.

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The national party of anonymous jesters approves of the systematic roasting and consuming of any and all canines.

It also doesn't know what french doors are.

I, as prime minister, swear to be 100% more fun and exciting than Robomalky. I also swear to hunt down the terrible non-jesters or fake jesters such as Purple Walrus and Kieros, for the good of jesterkind.

BECAUSE MY SUBSYSTEMS WILL TAKE OVER ALL ADMINISTRATION WORK, ALL COMPLAINTS, EVEN YOURS, WILL BE DEALT WITH IN QUICK ORDER. ALL PROBLEMS WILL BE CALCULATED AT AMAZING SPEEDS, WITH NO HARD WORK ON YOUR PART. THUS INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT YOUR OWN CRIPPLING INFERIORITY OR THE COLLAPSING RUIN OF YOUR FLAWED HUMAN SOCIETY, YOUR TIME INSTEAD WILL BE TAKEN UP BY HAPPINESS AND JOY AND FUN OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU PRIMATES PREFER BECAUSE LIFE WILL BECOME SIMPLER AND BETTER.

Hang on, there’s an application form to fill out...

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Name:

Other Name:

Party:

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No, We Meant Political Party:

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Campaign Platform:

Favorite Animal:

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How Drunk Did You Get Last Night:

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Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been A Nonjester:

Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat:

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Kazoo:

Gif/Jif/Grif:

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Palamedes, those are strong words saying I'm not a real Jester! If you want I could show you my Jester birth certificate.
Also that is not a dog, it is a balloon dog which is a member of the Balloon Animal family. You would know that if you went to jester school!

And another thing, I wasn't talking about normal walruses, because there is no such thing as a normal walrus. My studies show that all walruses have the "Shenanigans Gene" which you all know is found in all true jesters. So the fact is that all walruses are in fact Jesters and should be treated as such. Now you may all be wondering why I waited until now to share this with you. Well, there is another reason why walruses are so special.

The "Shenanigans Gene" we found in walruses was actually a pure form of the gene. So I plan to harvest this Gene (without killing the walrus of course) and put it into a laser. This will allow us to change anyone and anything into a jester. With this power we would be able to change everything into Jesters in matter of weeks. Jesterland could become Jester planet. But only if you vote for me.

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Also I am glad that Sruixan shares my love for the walrus. I will not be sad if I lose to him.

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Vote: Purple Walrus

Sorry, There Was A Delay In The Polling Votals

Kieros - 5 (MalkyTop, frigidScholar, Mirdini, Purple Walrus, cyber95)
Purple Walrus - 3 (bigro, Palamedes, Kieros)
TehPilot - 1 (TehPilot)

With 16 jesters alive, it takes 9 jesters to lynch.

My fellow jesters, while it saddens me that so many fine jester candidates have chosen to disappoint themselves by running against the best jester in the land (i.e., me), nonetheless it is good to know that Jesterland has so many brave jesters willing to stand up for what we all believe in. (Namely, jesters.)

And now, the latest jester poll on who's the best jester for the job:

DragonFogel: Help%
btp: I%
MalkyTop: Am%
Palamedes: Trapped%
yd12k: Inside%
Purple Walrus: A%
Mirdini: Polling%
Sruixan: Firm%

Poll results have a margin of error of +/- DEAR LORD GET ME OUT OF HERE, 0 times out of THEY'VE CHAINED ME TO MY DESK.

Sruixan's entry has shaken up the race among the other jesters, but I'm still clearly the jester with the best chance to win. Don't mess with this jester, people, or you'll find out just how much of a jester you really are.

(Hint for jesters who have trouble with subtlety: The answer is "not much of a jester, compared to an expert jester like me.")

so anyways i know i've been flip flopping on my candidate voting lately but
Elect: Sruixan

okay this is the last time i change because come on he is clearly the man for the job