Grand Battle High

Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.

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> Come up with preposterous explanation that makes no sense and involves wolves and leprechauns and axes and shit. This will obviously be enough to convince them.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>Cole: Wonder how exactly you got roped into this.

Edit:

>Various necromancers: Argue over who gets to animate the corpse.

Originally posted on MSPA by bobthepen.

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Corpse > be Bartleby.

Originally posted on MSPA by Wojjan.

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> "I didn't do it, it was that freshman Nemaeus"

Originally posted on MSPA by Not The Author.

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> "Oh come on I was unconscious literally moments ago and you were standing right there so you know I was unconscious. How am I supposed to fall unconscious after killing him? It's an obvious set-up. Besides, if I was going to kill him his head'd be off. None of that mucking about with potentially-survivable chest wounds. But anyway. What are you two doing here? Someone sent you along, didn't they?"

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

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>Various necromancers: Argue over who gets to animate the corpse.

Obviously Clara should do it.

>Cheese it!

Originally posted on MSPA by MalkyTop.

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> "Oh come on I was unconscious literally moments ago and you were standing right there so you know I was unconscious. How am I supposed to fall unconscious after killing him? It's an obvious set-up. Besides, if I was going to kill him his head'd be off. None of that mucking about with potentially-survivable chest wounds. But anyway. What are you two doing here? Someone sent you along, didn't they?"

"Like hell I'm the killer. I was freaking unconscious 'til just now. And how 'bout you? Oh, you just happened to be nearby to witness me murder...who the hell is this guy anyways."

"Zach something-or-whatever."

"That guy."



"Hey now, we're witnesses. And also I'm your judge. And executioner. And also the detective. And upon initial investigation, you're the prime suspect soooooo you better come quiiieettly~~~ else you'll look even more suspiciouuuuus~"



"If you're supposed to be the damn detective, then aren't you even going to do anything beyond 'glance at the scene of the crime' you moron? And you can't be the judge and the executioner. Not to mention you are completely disregarding the proper procedure for this sort of thing."

"No, no, no, you see, it's never the first suspect, but first the first suspect has to be arrested and then some thrilling evidence is found that clears him and--"

"Stop. You're an idiot."



"Why hello there. I can't help but notice how you three students are not in class. Now, I wonder why that could be. Maybe you would be kind enough to enlighten me?"

Awwww snap looks like our protagonist(s?) got landed into some trouble BUT LOOK LET'S SWITCH TO SOME OTHER PLACE.



Yeeeaaaahh so smooth.



"So, yeah, this is the best part of Health class or whatever, which is why I always teach this portion and crap."



"HeymansorryI'mlategotcaughtupinsomethingI'lljusts itdownnow"

"YOU. Lloyd guy. The hell were you late and do you have a pass."

"...Do you actually care...?"

"The fuck I do. Sit your ass down so I can talk about sex."

Originally posted on MSPA by Pick Yer Poison.

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> Holly: Be angry at Lloyd for being late to your favorite class.

Alternatively:

> Lloyd: Be the only male student in the room.
> Today's subject: Be male anatomy.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>B and Lillian: Wander into the class by mistake.

Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.

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> Sit your ass down in a nervous fashion.

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

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Class: be mostly filled with libidoless undead, eldritch genderless abominations, and robots.

Originally posted on MSPA by bobthepen.

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Bryce> Actually know very little about sex.

SpoilerShow

Perhaps it is similar to reading an enjoyable but very long story?

Originally posted on MSPA by MalkyTop.

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> Sit your ass down in a nervous fashion.

"Anybody else come in late, I'm gonna fry their ass."



"Right, so. Let's get starte--"





"Excuse me, sir?"



"Yeah? What?"

"It's just that we have a ten-year-old child here and--"

"What the hell's a ten-year-old doing in high school?"

"--And I think you ought to tone down the language a little. And perhaps we could talk about something else."

"Well, if you're so uptight about it, then go back to Sunday school. I'm gonna teach my goddamn class."

SpoilerShow

Moral of the story: All grand battles updating within a week isn't as impossible as I thought.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>Lloyd: This looks like a good chance to disrupt the class. Which is, of course, the only reason you bothered to come here at all.

Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.

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> Etiyr: CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Originally posted on MSPA by Ixcalibur.

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Anyone else: Come in late.

Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.

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> Etiyr: CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

[img]images/smilies/icon_up.gif[/img]

Six: Ask a fuckton of questions. Most of them unrelated to high school sexual education.

Alternatively:

Merrifield: Demonstrate the practical portion of this class.

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

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>Merrifield: BABIES EVERYWHERE

>Bryce: Use class as excuse to recount past (possibly imaginary) flings in excruciating detail.

Originally posted on MSPA by WoodlandBeef.

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> Algernon: Show up late because he forgot he had class

Originally posted on MSPA by MalkyTop.

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"Awwright. Nobody else gonna give me backtalk? Good. So--"



"Goddammit what the hell is it now stupid typewriter what do you want."









"Is that a yes?"



"OKAY FELLAS NOW WE CAN FINALLY TALK ABOUT SEX what the hell did I just step in."



"Ffffff"



"BLEEDY CAT THING WHY THE HELL ARE THERE BABIES EVERYWHERE."



"It's not her fault! The late man did something to the poor kitty and that made babies!"

"Preposterous. What could I, a mere mortal, do to some crazy biological god thing to upset her enough to do such a thing? I had nothing to do with this. At all."

"That's not true you liar! I saw you! And so did the Spirit!"



"Seriously, teach, are you really gonna take a little girl's word over mine?"



"Hi, uh, sorry, I totally forgot about school today. Haha. Sorry."



"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT EVERYBODY OUT. NONE OF YOU DESERVE TO HEAR ABOUT MY SEXPLOITS. NONE OF YOU."



"Christ kids these days."





Well, it looks like that bout of interesting just finished. Let's move on to someone else.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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>You are Parsley Krose, and you're in detention because you keep insisting this entire school is an elaborate illusion created by a demon and therefore you don't have to do your homework.

Originally posted on MSPA by Ixcalibur.

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> You are Quantos Xodarap and you are being the cleverest kid in this whole school.

> You are Adelaide Margaret Sheats and you are currently on a class trip to the swimming baths. Nobody seems to want to get in the pool with you.

> You are Yanis Carnea and you are breaking into the permanent records office.

> You are The Broderburgs and you are wondering why you all go to the same school.

> You are Laura Scourge and you are rocking out in music class.

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

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>You are a large group of students watching another catfight between Phere and Cascala

Originally posted on MSPA by Pick Yer Poison.

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>You are Parsley Krose, and you're in detention because you keep insisting this entire school is an elaborate illusion created by a demon and therefore you don't have to do your homework.

> You are Phil Girnham, and you are also in detention for beating people up, as per usual. You pretty much have your own regular seat by now.

Originally posted on MSPA by Wojjan.

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> Th'k th k-kth't-tk.

> You are now Ripper Blackmask, and these bathroom icons are very vague.