Hamfia - GAME OVER - PICK YER POISON DID IT. SPECTACULAR. AMAZING.

Schazer, explain. Now. You know very well what I mean.

...well, aforementioned clarification would be appreciated when you wake up, anyway. Your antipodean position means an explanation at this present moment is likely not forthcoming but please, explain.

Oh, and granola? Please don't explain, but let it be known that, well, SHENANIGANS.

No. NO EVERYBODY EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW



NO SHENANIGANS TO OBSCURE NIGHT ACTIONS

THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!

...

WAIT NO OF COURSE THERE IS DANG IT THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM

THE PROBLEM IS... SHENANIGANS.

SARAH CONNOR WILL SHANK YOU SO GOD HELP ME PUT THE SHENANIGANS DOWN



I AM HERE NOW SHENANIGAN OVER

(I edited my above post because it was stretching the page. I couldn't find a suitable sarah connor of a smaller size so you'll have to pretend she is a lot angrier there than she seems.)

Sruix for a walking stereotype you are pretty atrocious at ham. Where's the pathos? The gravitas? The third descriptor to this trifecta?

Anyway long story short Para wants to have your sadist babies.

that

People who haven't spoken yet today: Mirdini, Cat, Brian, and Granolaman.

Clearly, they haven't spoken because they're lurking in the shadows, plotting, scheming, waiting for the moment to strike! Or maybe they're just busy, who knows.

In a world...
where scum died last night...

who would be the one...
to go after the town?

It would appear...
at least, to me...

Vote: Professor Lizard!

I take issue with your WILD and BASELESS accusations, Dragon Fogel (IF THAT REALLY IS YOUR REAL NAME).

Why, this fine and glorious dawn only began a mere FOURTEEN HOURS ago, during which I was engaged in TOP SECRET VITAL MISSIONS for my REAL LIFE. The fact that you dare IMPUGN my HONOR by suggesting my complicity in anything else is INCONCEIVABLE.

HOWEVER, I must concur that IF the rest of my delinquent fellows do not show up in good and proper time, they may be WORTH EXAMINING. The man I am most interested in, however, is one SIR BRIAN (THAT IS A VOTE, Good Sir Paranoia).

GASP



as he replaces in, MURDERING his previous player.

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Spoiler

"Sweet, sneak attack, triple damage!" A man's excited voice rang out behind Niall. Niall turned his head to take a look at the monster and saw a drawn bow pointed directly at him. "You used to be alive like me..."

SSSSTHUNK.

"Then you took an arrow to the face," the man said, and began rummaging through Niall's, then Sheila's belongings.

BE APPALLED



as he VOTES UPON MY AUGUST PERSON, joining that COWARDLY ROGUE, WHEEEEEEATTHINS (who had it coming) on a most MUSICAL VEHICLE.

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Spoiler

vote: Mirdini

THIS SLY HAMFIA PLOT TO MISLYNCH ME UPON THE FIRST DAY (I WAS BUT A VOTE FROM LYNCHING BY THE END OF IT!) WILL NOT STAND.

Mirdini

vote brian this makes as much sense as we get

How peculiar.

As Mirdini said, he was but one vote away from a lynch yesterday. Yet no scum took the opportunity to strike.

Why is this? There was little risk of retaliation. True, they would have been interrogated today, but were it not for Wheat's untimely demise, they could plausibly escape scrutiny for a day.

A few scenarios come to mind.

1. The entire scumteam was already on the Mirdini bandwagon.

This is incredibly risky, and carries little reward. It is the least likely scenario. The entire team rarely hops on the same wagon unless victory is near, especially if they're the only ones on there.

2. Mirdini is scum.

Marginally more likely than 1, but again: bringing a teammate one vote away from softlynch is incredibly risky. Especially on Day 1. If a townie hops on the wagon, you either have to let the lynch go through or scramble for an excuse to switch. It's far too easy for this to go wrong.

3. The remaining scum are incredibly cautious.

Even with a townie up for lynch, the nefarious villains thought being the one to bring him to softlynch was simply too dangerous. But why? The most likely reason I can think of is that they were trying to avoid Scenario 1 - that is, Solaris or Brian was scum and Scum Number 3 didn't want the whole team to be on that bandwagon. So they avoided casting that vote, despite the fact that they could easily have arranged a mislynch.

4. The remaining scum are lurking.

In short - they didn't cast a decisive vote on Mirdini because they hadn't been paying attention to the thread. In this case, someone who was lurking on Day 1 would be a prime suspect.

Given the information at hand, it seems warranted to Vote: Brian. If Wheat were the only scum on that bandwagon, it is far more likely that it would have been softhammered by another member. Besides, as noted earlier, he has not spoken up today. We should give him some more incentive.

I would also like Solaris to comment on why he left his vote on Mirdini for the entirety of yesterday.

Vote: Brian

Hi, I'm here, sorry. I kinda forgot to keep checking the board after Thursday. WHY ARE NIGHTS SO LONG.

Also, I didn't even know there was a vote on Mirdini when I voted for him, but that's my fault for being too lazy.



BUT GUYS I WENT ON MY FIRST DATE TONIGHT!




Anyways. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE ALL VOTING ME BECAUSE I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT BLACK WOMAN AND I DONT NEED NO MAN. (except the one I went on a date with tonight. did i mention that?! :D)

But I ain't scum. Das fo sho. Anyway here's how Wheat and Jacquerel died. I'm not entirely sure of their genders, but in the story Wheat's a girl and Jacquerel is a guy.

~~~~

Jacquerel was so excited. He had finally gathered up the courage to ask the local slut out on a date, and Wheat had accepted! Chances were good that Jac was going to get some tonight.


jacquerel is excited.


They had agreed to meet at Old Fogley's Farm for a picnic, and Jac knew what awaited him after the meal. He'd seen enough of the Internet to surmise that he'd become a man on that blanket and possibly contract crabs.


wheat. probably has crabs.


When Wheat arrived, Jac had already set up a blanket and various plates of food, along with a lit candle for atmosphere. "oooh, dat dur is so nice <object_sfx="i_like_it.jpg">" said Wheat. Jac was pleased that she approved.

They had a surprisingly deep conversation throughout the course of the meal, but Jac's hand began to sweat as they were finishing up. "Sooo..." he trailed off as he cleared their plates out of the way, "I really like you." Wheat had already leaned forward and was reaching to unbutton Jac's pants. "Wait, wait," he said, and pulled a condom out of his pocket. He wanted to make sure that even if there was just contact from her mouth that he was protected. He had never used one before (as he had no need to, being a virgin), but got it on surprisingly well. It seemed to sting a little bit, but he let Wheat take care of it.

She was good at what she did, but his member continued to sting and burn. He seemed to be swelling up a little bit too, but he didn't mention it and just let Wheat think he was naturally that big. It turns out that Jac had an extremely severe latex allergy and it was being worsened by the saliva and friction. He was uncomfortable but wanted to man up and take it.

Soon, his member grew so enlarged that Wheat couldn't take it out of her mouth. This concerned her as it grew tighter and tighter against her mouth. They both were in extreme pain when Jac's extremity finally exploded, ripping off Wheat's jaw as both they both began to bleed horrifically.

A nearby wolf smelled the blood and was attracted and happy to find two useless humans writhing on the floor bleeding out. He took advantage and struck at the woman's coated throat until her heart beat no more. The male had gotten up terrified, and was running for his life. Unfortunately for him, he tripped and fell face first...

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Spoilerinto a bear trap.

The wolf's job was done for him and he feasted on the remains of the two lovers under the light of the full moon, with a nice blanket and lit candle to comfort him.

I



there is not a face for that

My brain hurts.

But apparently the fact the Wheat tried to lynch Mirdi might suggest that Mirdi is townier, since there would be no reason to HELLBUS that early. :o

Okay, serious time. Ham in the spoilers.

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Spoiler

So, here's what's happened today so far from my perspective.

1. A bunch of people posted nonsense.

2. Dragon Fogel pointed out the people who hadn't posted nonsense yet.

3. Cat showed up and voted (for Prof. Lizard) without reason (as far as I can tell).

4. Mirdini makes a case about me, votes for me, and saying the following:
[*]I hadn't posted yet. Valid statement, but not evidence in any way.
[*]I murdered Niall in my story. Valid statement, but not evidence in any way.
[*]I voted for him, joining Wheat (who was mafia). Incorrect. I voted for him, yes, but Wheat actually followed my vote, not the other way around.

5. Woffles agrees with this case and votes for me.

6. Dragon Fogel makes a post about possible scenarios, doesn't state which is the most likely in his mind, and votes for me saying it's incentive for me to post, as if the two votes weren't enough.

7. Pick Yer Poison votes for me with literally no other content.

8. I post.

9. Woffles posts in response to my story with no face.

10. Prof. Lizzard thinks Mirdini is town.

~~~~~~~~

In conclusion, why the hell am I being lynched right now and why is no one else saying this isn't a good idea?

Para can I have my old wincon back?

Weeeell, seeing as how you're no longer on the playerlist, not only can you not have your old wincon back, but we're gonna hafta repo your new one too.

Yeah no my new one's not even a particularly inventive one.

Is it sadism if it's run-of-the-mill?

FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE SPOTS IT

THAT ONLY TOOK, LET ME SEE, SOMETHING LIKE FOREVER, MAYBE EVEN LONGER IF MY POCKETWATCH IS SLOW

SHEESH

also granola are you town

answer truthfully

I totally noticed it earlier, but finals kept me from bringing it up.

Also yes, I am totally town.

Bluh gotta get my ham on again

7. Pick Yer Poison votes for me with literally no other content.

Schazer you're gonna make that poor bug sick if you keep spinning her like that.