Zoostuck 3

franklin roosevelt

As much as you'd like to take that guy down a peg - he was openly working with Commies, for crying out loud - he's already dead. In fact, he died the moment you took charge of this committee in 1950.

Which, now that you think of it, is awfully convenient for him. This must be a nefarious left-wing conspiracy, and not the result of a highly abbreviated history put together by a no-talent hack who couldn't be bothered to do his research.

Clearly he faked his death in order to avoid an investigation! But unfortunately, the Senate parliamentarian has already told you multiple times that no, you can't subpoena a corpse.

Ah, but that's it! If he's alive, he must have adopted a new identity! You just need to figure out who it is and bring them in for a hearing.

But who could it be?

Com Unist

What? Why, it couldn't be Com! He's your best friend and he's always asking about how your hearings are going and if you have any juicy classified information for him.

Oh, in fact, you're meeting up with him for lunch in about an hour. You promised him some good highly-sensitive intel, too. Now, dang it, what are you going to tell him about?