Zoostuck 3

You're going to turn out to be the villian

Ah, yes, of course. You're the one who's truly been behind it all this entire time. But you were supposed to be hidden from all outside observers, including omniscient narrators. You masked yourself from everything...

Everything except rocks, as that was simply too much trouble. But that would require a rock to become an omniscient narrator somehow, which is simply too absurd to even consider.

Regardless, you have a name.

Nagito Komaeda

But the truth behind your name is too dangerous to reveal, even if no one could possibly know it, so you've taken on the pseudonym of Nagito Komaeda. It is a name which has no meaning to you at all, and probably not to anyone else either.

you're 5/6ths of the devil, so only do 5/6ths of the deal.

5/6ths? You have no idea where that stray thought came from, but you're insulted by it. The devil is a rank amateur compared to you. Regardless, toying with people does delight you, so you promptly use your vast influence to turn all the Zoosmells into Johnsmells. That may not be exactly 5/6ths, but it's not as if you ever bothered to learn math.

You are now Johnsmell Pooplord and you are trying to figure out if your new name is better or worse than your old one. How are you going to settle this difficult question?