MURDERFIA: WOOP ZOOP IT'S CLOBBERING TIME

Several points of order:

Plant time bomb in: Phone Booth
Exit: Phone booth

Sruix is badass; Pinary's got no chance to be half that impressive.

I really don't think we should kill seastorm? I think it'd be better to attempt to attack the virus from the source rather than just an infected. As someone said earlier, she's essentially useless to the virus now.
Also killing her would be a disincentive to having virused people claim in the general case. It's like "claim for the good of us all" "WE KILL YOU FOOL"...
And if they don't claim, we might target them by accident.
And they won't claim because if they do, WE LYNCH THEM.

Someone please explain to me why that makes any sense at all?

SpoilerShow

sorry I've been having internet troubles but I'm still trying

Dial: 911 on the phone booth I wonder who will answer my emergency call?

Exit the phone booth.

Oh shit I got a boombox

TIME FOR SOME KAWAII RAPP SHITT™

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Sincere apologies for my inability to stick to my own deadlines; today was the first day of this holiday that was actually sunny with bearable, non-snowy weather, so I took the opportunity to embark upon a rather enjoyable excursion. I didn't forget about you guys, though, don't fret. You might even get a little something extra tomorrow... but anyway, enough dawdling. This is what you've all been waiting for...

(oh, err, o-kay, um, I really ought to find my rapper's cap, um, oh gosh, where's the bloody blighter gone? Ah, there, underneath my agression akumbra, hmhm, jolly good)

Oh my dear, goodness gracious me, what do we have here?
An attack, via rap, or a galling veneer?
I’m confused, dearest Pines, by your tantamount skiffle
Unintelligent dribble, sheer twaddle – just piffle!

It’s a cochlear insult, all-atremble in fear
Don’t you know what you’ve done with your scandalous cheer
Of “Alrighty ho then, well I say, this means war!”
When you’ve scarcely the weapons to maintain the rapport?

I’m entirely surprised by your lacklustre rhymes
I’d have thought that something better should have come out of Pines!
But having analysed your ghastly cries I think I might have just surmised
The underlying reason why this battle’s lost with your demise!
The scene you paint, my devil’s guise, the holes alleged at which your prise
Are all calumniation and complete and utter lies!

And how can you seriously give it your all
When you’re assault’s a simulacrum and is destined to fall
Oh yes, your arguments are hollow, not a single one could fly
You simply can’t knock this high-flier out of my sky
This esoteric information that you’d like to emerge?
Well if you’re so bally desperate, have you tried a Google search?

In case you hadn’t twigged yet, in the game from which it came
It was I who took THE VIRUS and propelled it to fame
It’s the very height of anti-fun, a terrible mechanic
So incredibly unbalanced, so appallingly satanic

If you think the raving rabble here are getting out of hand
And this derailment with the phonebooth’s just distracting from the plan
Then perhaps an all-out murder epidemic’s what you need
‘cause that’s THE VIRUS in a nutshell so I daresay godspeed

It’s near impossible to handle, this infandous infection
Tags along with you at night and dirties every connection
Be you targeter or targeted there’s no place to hide
But if both parties are affected then the latter just dies

I was cagey, I’ll concede it, but I’d hoped to quash the panic
Imagine forty people screaming all so terrified and manic
I needed time in which to strategise, a day or so to dwell
If patience is a virtue then you’re set to rot to hell!

Then you question my fun? It’s the name of the game
Have you forgotten what we’re doing here – for shame!
It had been my intention, in lieu of Ix’s tunes
To entertain the needy masses with my solo kazoo!

(insert highly embarrassing kazoo solo here)

But back to this poetry brawl; I’ve put the effort in
My prose has surely evidenced I’m really quite the veteran
This whole affair to me is merely déjà vu
I didn’t get to crush granola so I’ll take it out on you

My first manoeuvre is to mention that the splendid beat I’m rocking
‘s courtesy the good professor behind the song’s whose role you’re mocking
You’re besmirching two great names with your affront so profane
I have no choice but to engage you and to bring you the pain!

I choose to fight like a gangster raptor, claws out, volume up.

SpoilerShow

It's nice to know I'm perfectly fine with devoting a day and a half to this lovely kind of antic. For those keeping track at home, my "technical difficulties" were:

1. I had swapped input and output around in some silly control panel and so had absolutely no idea why Audacity couldn't pick up my mic
   
2. I accidentally the tempo on three separate occasions
   
3. I had to rerecord the entire thing once I'd done it in, well, nine distinct sections because I was too far away from the mic
   
4. The version I did in just one take had too many "oh fucks" and heavy breathing interludes to fix
   
5. THAT GOGDAMN KAZOO SOLO
   
6. Once I at last had the final version (three distinct sections; lines 1-10, 11-40 & 41-48), I forgot to unmute the introductory nattering. Twice.

Still, it worked out in the end...

The beat is borrowed from You're Invited by Professor Elemental, which is one of the two-dozen or so tracks of his that you can get the instrumental version of for a small fee. Curiously, the weird noises that begin the instrumental version don't appear in the actual track, but instead comprise the end of the previous - I kept them in anyway so as not to royally muck up my timing. All the other sound effects scattered throughout the piece were kept, mainly because I couldn't be arsed to remove them; I managed to write myself around them instead, all bar the trampoline. My only alterations were a slight increase in tempo and an extension of the pause near the end so it could fully contain the solo.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and have a nice lie-down...

O_O

*Spoilered - sorry

Why can't the potato just do something else today

Dammit Tea, spoiler or snip that shit. You got my hopes up.

Mathgirl: Thank God someone actually read my post! I can't tell you how infuriating it is when people just skip the thread and jump for the biggest bandwagon (cough-Luneix-cough)

Whoosh/Boogey: What did you hear? Are the songs getting progressively more mind-control-y?

Granola, I will let a picture of one of the men who serenaded me answer your question.




Phonebooth: I leave the phonebooth and let PL in to make his emergency call. I also focus all of my energy on trying to spontaneously manifest an Oates-style mustache

Hi Tea yes I know this thread is awesome but please remember basic mafia manners and spoiler shit, especially quoted shit, if you're gonna be a nonplayer posting in my thread.

Called your home on my telephone

Whoosh joins Pala and the other dude at the Safe Distance.

Mathgirl gets her first and only warning to not put bombs she doesn't have in places they shouldn't be if she did.

ProfessorLizzard tries to squirm his way into Whoosh's position, but mashing buttons on a keypad through two people stuck in a booth is harder than picking up a phone!

TehPilot goes over and under and around a bunch of people and extricates his way out of the deathtrap I mean phonebooth. Totally meant phonebooth there.

Boogeyman also gets the hell out of dodge.
The phone hangs off its cradle as Boogeyman forgot to replace it. The line is now dead.

A friendly neighbourhood reminder: Deadline is in ~60 hours, extensions available on request

Whoosh, is there any indication that you and Pala had the same experience?

Well I'd assume so since I was pretty clear with what was happening and Whoosh said so.

Also Boogey seemed to be immediately implying the same, but I decided to keep things quiet so that there wouldn't be much of a panic. After all, the last thing I need is for people to be trying to direct the phonebooth's murderous powers before it was used up safely.

Right, okay then. In that case:

Let's try this again, with less me-being-semantically-retarded.



Boogeyman: please kill TehPilot, if you would; I don't want him somehow achieving a win condition off our attempts to kill him with his own weapon.

This is a Day Activation. ~Please hold~

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I didn't bold this when it happened and I don't think I am the other dude who whoosh is joining pala with and I know there was just a dayctivation but I don't have lots of time to be computering today so let me just throw this down to be taken into account at the next convenient moment.

...I'ma stay at least [EXPLOSION RADIUS] meters away from the phone booth...

Phonebooth: become unclose plusfast if I am not already

Fuckin' finally, an EVENT

Boogeyman does not kill TehPilot!

Schazer finally resumes the game!

Not The Author gets TWO STRIKES and is thus on his FINAL WARNING for faking a day activation.

Deadline is now in 80 Hours as of this post.

nottles did you really hold up this game for two days



for a fake activation

unvote/vote: Not The Author
:3

NO HE HELD UP THE GAME FOR A SENSIBLE AMOUNT OF TIME

THEN WORK WAS A THING AND I LEGIT SHIT YOU NOT COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT I WAS RUNNING A GAME

THE LYNCH MOB MAY NOW REACH A CONSENSUS AS TO ONE BOON THE MOD MUST GRANT THE LYNCH MOB TO MAKE UP FOR THIS ADMINISTRATIVE BRAINFART.

i propose we bring malky into the day

Vote: Not The Author

YOU

Not particularly pleased that you're trying to steal our kill nottles. If I wasn't already voting you, I'd be now.

Also Agent, that's already gonna happen. Think of something else, like extra powers or bringing someone back from the dead, or more rap battles.

:( I thought I was being good not talking, waiting for the activation!

Vote NotTheAuthor

guys who are voting nottles, do you realize that schazer took full blame?

because i'm cool with it if you are aware i just want to make sure it's not a misinformed vote

Not upset that he held us up, I'm upset that he's trying to kill the one guy the town's already trying to kill. It's damn impossible to get these people to consensus on anything.