An Adventure Or Else

...



Go away, narration voice. You're trying to read, here.



No, cut it out. That doesn't even make sense in this tense. You just want an afternoon of peace and literature.



Me you, not you you! This is so stupid. Get out of here!



Great. And now the Empress is calling. If it's not one thing, it's another.



"The portals to the Outer Realm are still unable to establish a link. Even my scryers can't see what's happening there. Without the Realm's intrigues, I am becoming... bored."

"I demand that my subjects provide entertainment in the meantime! You are no exception. Find a quest or a trial or a great scourge or something. You know the penalty for failure."



...

Great.

...

Fine, get back here, narration voice.

What wouldst thou deaux?

embark on a quest to assemble an army to overthrow the she-tyrant.

E: If that is too hard: just go find a dragon and slay that and drag its corpse back for inspection.

Study Correct Posture

do a little dance
make a little rhyme

The most important step is finding someone to blame if/when it all goes wrong.

Tell her to watch some re-runs of the ET fighting bloody fighting tournament

>Go left

embark on a quest to assemble an army to overthrow the she-tyrant.

Yeah, you figure it's about that time of year again. A good assassination plot always livens the place up a bit.

Plus, who knows? Maybe this time it'll work. Twelfth time's the charm, right?

The most important step is finding someone to blame if/when it all goes wrong.

Of course, the core to every such plan is a group of trusted-allies-slash-expendable-pawns. Your Statesman's Chapeau is going to have to sit this one out; it's time again to dust off the Adventurin' Miter and Whallopin' Crozier.

But where do you start your elling eff gee?

On Craigslist.

On eagle-time forums.

At the nearest bar. Don't most adventuring groups start out by meeting in a tavern?

Grindr

In your head.

Think outside the box - recruit the empress! She'll never see THAT coming.

In your car.

Seconding that ^

Recruit the various produce items that talk about you while you sleep.

At the cafe.

everywhere

Make yourself the greatest support of nepotism since the Tenth Century.

ooh ooh

CLONES

Think outside the box - recruit the empress! She'll never see THAT coming.

Hmm! Maybe that sort of lateral thinking is just what this coup needs to not fail like the rest.

"Hey, secret plot to overthrow the Empress! You want in?"



...



Or, on the other hand, maybe not.



Thank the Writhing Antedivinities for contingency enchantments. Looks like you're going to have to assassinate the Empress without the Empress's help.

On eagle-time forums.

At the nearest bar. Don't most adventuring groups start out by meeting in a tavern?

Which means the best place to look for some of the sword-wielding malcontents you need is probably at Eagle Time, the premier tavern for adventuring-types, aspiring tyrant slayers, and humble-but-chosen farmhands in all of Aquillia. Some of the biggest names in both the Inter-Realms hang around here. Should you look for someone or someones in particular? Who, and why?

Or just stick with some random schlubs for maximum sacrificability when things go wrong?

Er, if. If, obviously.

find uh, pinary?

Oh man how can you not look for the super frequency. Aka the official kingdom radio station.

Perhaps you should seek out sea beasts. Like a wyrm. A sea wyrm.

This whole thing is just an excuse to kidnap Thriggle, isn't it.