I don't know anything without my screens...

Okay, let's start with the basics.

Two plus two is four.
The capital of South Dakota is Pierre.
This is a seagull.
Although the actual date of Jesus' birth is subject to dispute, Christmas is generally celebrated on December 25th.
In order to defeat a Dodongo in The Legend of Zelda, you can either place two bombs where it will eat them, or detonate a bomb next to it to stun it and then stab it with your sword.
The fifty-seventh word of Chapter 3 of Moby Dick is "diligent", counting hyphenated terms as one word.
Albert Einstein was born on March 14, 1879 and died on April 18, 1955.
Your post passes Rule 2.

How's that knowledge looking now?

This is a seagull.

Incorrect, this is actually a strategically-placed cluster of pixels on a screen made to resemble an earth creature known as "seagull"

next thing you know, a guy smoking a pipe will turn up wearing a shirt that says "je n'ai pas fumé une pipe".