Hell Runners: Neither Snow Nor Rain Nor Demon Hordes

You wake up in bed, your dreams fading away into the haze of awakeness. You clamber out of bed, clad only in your boxer shorts, shivering slightly as cool air wisps across your short-furred body.

You get out of bed, noticing your roommate is still out cold. You suppose he's probably covering night deliveries, lucky bastard. You head for the showers, noticing that for once nobody else is there. You step under the hot water, feeling it cascade down your fur and soak you, hotter than most could bear.

It hurts, but the pain of the scalding hot water clears your head, causes the fuzz of sleep to fade away and your dreams to feel like a distant memory.

Your name is Samuel Smith, cat-folk, and for the last few years of your life, you've been an Abyssal Courier, though anyone who isn't a bureaucrat just calls you a Hell Runner. Your job is to navigate the circles and outlands of Hell itself to deliver important cargo.

And today, you have to appear before the Lord of Hell, Hades himself.

You've heard stories about Hades, mostly about how he's a big fuzzy pushover if he likes you, and how he'll gut you like a fish if he doesn't. You have no idea which category you'll wind up falling into, but the idea of winding up on his bad side terrifies you to no end.

But there are a couple things we'll need to cover first, before we can really get into this adventure.

For one thing, just what kind of Runner are you? There are three kinds.

Freerunner- Focuses on evading hazards and getting from Point A to Point B with just their wits... and the Chain-Sword that comes standard issue to all Free Runners.
Driver- Drivers specialize in vehicles. All vehicles. From armored trucks to mopeds to skateboards, if it has a set of wheels, propellers, or treads a Driver can operate it. Always provided with a Hand Cannon, a revolver the size of your average head, for self-defense.
Skulker- Who needs the route when the route means combat? Skulkers specialize in getting around through all those seedy little back ways, navigating through the shadows and avoiding trouble before it can even begin. Equipped with a Machete if things get too ugly.

Driver, deffo

Tough choice, but I'm also gonna vote Driver, if only so we can stretch the definition of "vehicle" to fit when we need it :3c

Tough choice, but I'm also gonna vote Driver, if only so we can stretch the definition of "vehicle" to fit when we need it :3c

Yeah that was my rationale too so here's a bunch of things I totally hope we ride

Dog sled
giant millipede
laser skates
a flying broomstick but instead of a broomstick it's a battleaxe
a couch with the surprisingly speedy legs of an alligator
chair held aloft by million of bees in tiny harnesses
indestructible transport orb
a flying carpet but it's a door

OOC:

SpoilerShow

...by god, you've put a lot of thought into this. Now I really wanna go with Driver too.

So we are!

That's right, you're a Driver. You specialize in vehicles, and thanks to your "training" (really a regiment of elaborate enchantments and brain surgeries), you can drive pretty much anything that isn't just plain running. You once delivered an Always-Burning-Vial by driving through the deserts of of Avaritia on a snowmobile.

You clip your Hand Cannon to your hip, the heavy metal feeling comforting against you. You adjust the collar of your uniform, and slip on the baseball cap that identifies you as a Hell Runner. It's not part of the uniform, but everyone's allowed one accessory and it's considered a point of pride for Abyssal Couriers to wear the "Hell Runner Cap".

You step into the Portal Chamber, finding dozens of portals around you that lead to various portions of Hell, including a few that drop you off in the Outlands. Rather than taking any of those, however, you approach the largest one, in the back. You pull out the card you were provided last night and slide it along a slot in the side, the portal opening with a sound akin to a bathtub drain being pulled.

You take a deep breath, and step through.

Within the throne room, you see Hades himself, and... well, he's a lot less intimidating in person than you thought he'd be. In fact... he's kinda hot. He lounges in his massive throne, one hand on his thigh and the other resting on the seat, looking you over with half-lidded eyes, his expression inscrutable aside from the small, feline smile gracing his features.

"Well, howdy there." He tells you. "You must be Samuel. Mind if I call you Sammy? So, here's the deal, right? I've got a big job for you. A really, really big one."

He rolls onto his back, legs pressed against the back of the throne and staring at you upside down, the smile not leaving his face. "Basically, I've got a lot of really important packages that need delivering. And from what I've been led to understand, you're the best man for the job. You've impressed a lot of people, Sammy boy."

He somersaults forward, and for a moment you think he's going to hit the ground before he starts floating, seemingly lying on his stomach in thin air. "Normally I'd get one of my Sisters to handle this sort of thing, but there's some stuff going on in the Surface that I'm not privy to. But they're busy as all get out. So here we are."

Hades smiles, floating forward until the two of you are face to face. You can feel his breath puff against you, and it smells like spearmint and sugar. "You know, if you do this properly, I'm willing to give you anything you want. Absolutely anything... well, short of godhood, I suppose, but there are a lot of things I'm willing to offer someone like you..."

You realize that the Lord of Hell himself is offering you anything you want if you do this for him. You should think this over very, very carefully...

You'd like ownership of a house in one of Hell's few nice neighborhoods (you hear a lot of good things about the Asphodel Meadows), comprehensive health insurance, and three weeks' annual leave

Didn't you want one of those Celestial Rockets? You know, the thing that lets you travel between Hell and the other, less infernal planes?

Do you want a Celestial Rocket? While getting out of Hell now and then would be nice, and you're fully capable of piloting one, it'd always be temporary, and then you'd have to get back to the shitty Hell Runner base with your roommate who's usually having "gentleman callers" over and you have to sleep outside on the floor because he's up all night with said gentleman callers and ugh Creator on the cross you just can't deal with this anymore.

"I want a house, in one of the nicer parts in Hell. Comprehensive health care, and three weeks leave." You tell Hades, not falling one bit for his attempt at seduction.

He blinks at your statement, apparently a bit surprised you didn't ask for your own circle of Hell or something. "Uh, right. You've considered this more than most have." He admits, floating back and getting to the throne. "Well, I mean, I'll think it over. I hear we've got an opening in Gula, if you don't mind locusts." He says. "It's pretty likely though. Normally I pull the whole "jackass genie" routine when people get greedy, but you, you're cool. Didn't ask for anything too crazy for what I'm making you do."

He waves a hand, and suddenly a small capsule appears, just large enough for you to lie down inside comfortably and reach a blinking panel of buttons on the inside. Your skills allow you to identify it as an Interdimensional Transport Capsule. It's meant to get you between Hell, Purgatory and Heaven.

"Get in here, you need to make a pickup at Purgatory before you get going. Get the parcels, and you'll be travelling between the Seven Circles to get everything everywhere. Do not open the packages unless you particularly enjoy getting sent to a Cooler in Luxuria, because I swear I'll do it."

You shudder at his threat. A Cooler is a complete sensory deprivation chamber, saved only for the worst of the worst in the Lust circle of Hell. You wouldn't wish it on just about anyone. You step into the chamber and close the door, hearing the pneumatic hiss as the tube seals entirely. In front of you is a set of buttons that allow you to enter the cooridnates, and a glass screen. You punch in the coordinates, and with a flash of light you begin the trek through the Celestial Fabric, heading for Purgatory.

After about an hour, the lights within the capsule flicker, and the screen lights up, a silhouetted figure appearing in it and breathing a bit heavily.

"Listen to me. You don't know me, but I know you, and we don't have very much time. Just listen to me, because I'm on your side, and there are things Hades doesn't know that you need to know. There is someone after you. They've been after you the moment you stepped into Hades' throne room, and they will not rest until you are dead. Beware of Creatio. Beware of the Virtues. And most of all, beware of the Angels."

He pauses, apparently considering something. "If you have a question, ask it now. I can only answer one, though. Time is short, and holding this form wears my energy thing."

A. Ask about Creatio
B. Ask about Virtues.
C. Ask about Angels.
D. Ask something else.

anything that works as a group is basically a pack of mooks so don't stress about them

best ask what Creatio's deal is

If the Angels are the ones you should beware of the most, better ask about those, I guess?

The other two you can get a vague sense of from the name, but Creatio isn't so self-explanatory. Maybe getting details on that would clarify the others?

>You studied up on virtues and angels enough to understand why you should worry about them. But uh. Never heard of Creatio.

You're pretty sure you understand the inherent risk of Angels. They were servants of the Creator, before the Four Horsemen overthrew him. The survivors were either defectors, or those who were smart enough to hide. And presumably anything associated with the Heavenly Virtues is likewise an issue. But Creatio...

"Who's Creatio?" You ask the figure, thoroughly confused by this name.

"Creatio is the Angel of Creation. One of the very first of The Creator's children. He survived the war by locking himself within his workshop, so heavily warded that not even The Wendigo could pierce them. And now, he has re-emerged, and has begun unleashing that which he has created during his exile. He wishes to destroy you, and claim your cargo for himself. I cannot tell you what you are transporting, but believe me when I say it cannot fall into his hands. Be careful."

With that, the screen flickers off, and the door slides open with a hiss. You are standing in a grand hall in Purgatory, at the end of which sits a simple desk. Seated at it is a young bear-folk, who, judging from the bleeps and bloops coming from his computer, is playing Tetris instead of actually working. You approach him, and he looks up. "Ah, you're the Courier, then." He says, pausing his game. He reaches down, and pulls up a large bag containing approximately seven parcels. He hands it to you, and you nearly crumple under the bag's weight.

Suddenly, it disappears... but you get the feeling you could access it wherever you need to. Like you could summon it with a thought. In fact, as soon as you think about it, it appears next to you.

The bear-folk waves a hand dismissively. "Get going. Those things won't deliver themselves, am I right?"

You really hate Purgatory residents sometimes. They're all so surly.

You step into the capsule, and now, you have seven different sets of coordinates you could enter.

You could go to...

SUPERBIA: Pride
IRA: Wrath
GULA: Gluttony
INVIDIA: Envy
AVARITIA: Greed
ACEDIA: Sloth
LUXURIA: Lust

If you'd like to know more about the circles, you are also in possession of a small pocket guide that briefly describes the various circles.

>Best brush up on the layers, so you can plan out the order you tackle them.

Which one's closest? Might as well do that one first, and go to the closest one from there.

>I'd say start with the one that sound the most annoying or ,tiring first, while you're starting.

You examine your guide, just to get a feel for the Layers.

SUPERBIA: A layer of technological marvels, where the damned work at endless production lines for Lucifer, Lady of Pride and Morning Star. A near-endless land of factories, with streets choked with ash and smog, the sky clouded with smoke. Cold and hopeless.

IRA: A land of flames and agony, where the damned are clouded in blind rage, endlessly battling both one another and any visitors. A dangerous place. Satan lives within a fortified palace, though the Lord of Wrath and King of Sin is fully capable of protecting himself.

GULA: And endless jungle, where the damned wander, starving and scared, pursued by predators forever. The trees swarm with locusts, which constantly badger the damned, but never kill. Visitors are guaranteed a slight level of safety, but only from the locusts. Beelzebub, Lord of Gluttony and Angel of The Pit, stalks the jungles, though he does live within a home in the heart of Gula.

INVIDIA: An endless ocean, where the damned languish upon it shores, visions of great treasures supposedly owned by their fellows visible just across the waters. Those who attempt to cross the waters are drowned and devoured by the creatures that live within, or Leviathan himself, Lord of Envy and The Eldest. Leviathan either swims the seas, or lives within a deep undersea palace.

AVARITIA: A desert, where the damned search endlessly for riches beneath the sands. Those who gather them are then pursued endlessly by Mammon, Lady of Greed and the Last Hell Dragon, and eventually have their treasures taken. Besides the inhospitable environs and occasional volcanic eruption, Avaritia holds few dangers.

ACEDIA: A vast city, where the damned are engaged in endless, body-destroying labor for Belphegor, Lord of Sloth and The Dead King. Belphegor's corpse lies within a humble area, an abandoned Hospital within the city. The safest Layer of Hell.

LUXURIA: Under new management as of 100 years ago, owned by Asmodeus, Lord of Lust and He Who Is Many. Sinners are sealed within "Coolers", chambers of complete sensory deprivation. Unfortunately, its former guards still wander the cramped halls of Luxuria, and they have no way to determine the difference between sinner and visitor. Vastly dangerous.

The closest Circle of Hell is, apparently, Superbia. You enter the chamber and punch in the coordinates, and get ready for another cramped ride. As you travel, the screen flickers to life again. But rather than your mysterious contactor, it's just Hades.

"Hey! I see you're heading for Superbia. Neat! So, since you're a Driver, you're gonna need a vehicle. And thanks to all the different Circle environments, you get a new one every Circle. Sooo... anything you'd particularly like for Superbia?" He asks.

Well, probably just a car for now. Make sure the headlights are extra strong, the windows work, and maybe add a fan in there for good measure.

The Hypno-cycle. It's wheels ensconce the observer's minds in a veil of loyalty and clamoring for approval. It also smells vaguely of asparagus.

>Something with an airtight cabin and environement shielding, some good fog headlights too.