You (plural) own a dungeon!

You own a dungeon. All of you. Collectively. That was the plural you. You were having a grand old time, doing nothing in your empty one room dungeon when SOME ADVENTURER has the audacity to enter.

Ugh. Adventurers are the worst (except for the cute ones, they're okay).

They are a Level 1 Ruffian. How annoying. They begin to poke around the floor.

What are you going to do?

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DUNGEON ROOMS

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SpoilerStarting room (non-descript)
Invader - ??? the Level 1 Ruffian

RESOURCES / STATS:

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SpoilerGold: 100 pieces
{more to come...?}

Ask them, "Who dares to enter our realm?"

> RELEASE THE KRAKENS

Ruffians are usually pretty greedy. Offer them one gold piece to guard our empty hoard. If they refuse, point out that there's no actual treasure to take, so this is a pretty good deal for them.

Worst case, they take our one gold and run, but then they're out of our hair and we only spent one gold, so it's all good.

Ask them, "Who dares to enter our realm?"

They look around, startled by the strange voice they hear in their mind.

"Jacob doesn't like this!" he screeches, smacking his fist against the wall.

> RELEASE THE KRAKENS

A trapdoor opens above the room, and several kraken tentacles reach down to grab Jacob. They swing, screaming, but he is too weak and is easily restrained and lifted up into the ceiling. A brief snacking sound indicates the kraken has finished this meal.

You couldn't afford to straight up put a kraken in the room, so you hope this will do. (-50 gold)

A brief silence gives you time to relax. However, voices can be heard from outside your realm of power, calling in for Jacob.

Ruffians are usually pretty greedy. Offer them one gold piece to guard our empty hoard. If they refuse, point out that there's no actual treasure to take, so this is a pretty good deal for them.

Worst case, they take our one gold and run, but then they're out of our hair and we only spent one gold, so it's all good.

Although this could have been a good and cost effective solution to Jacob, it could still be applied to his friends you suspect are coming.

You place a single gold piece on the ground, with a little note that explains the above (but not that Jacob is dead; who even is Jacob anyways hahaha). (-1 gold)

Three more ruffians enter the dungeon.

#1: "What the...? Where did he go?"
#2: "Now we'll never get our money."
#3 & #1: *cussing*

#2 picks up the note and gold piece on the ground. "Too bad I can't read," he says.

The kraken clicks in anticipation of a potential next meal.

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DUNGEON ROOMS

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SpoilerStarting room (non-descript)
Kraken ceiling trap

• Ally - ??? the Level 1 Kraken (1 kill)

Invader - "#1" the Level 1 Ruffian
Invader - "#2" the Level 2 Ruffian

• 1 Gold Piece
  
• Note to Ruffians

Invader - "#3" the Level 1 Ruffian

RESOURCES / STATS:

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SpoilerGold: 49 pieces
Kills/Deaths: 1.
Notable Kills/Deaths: 0.

Use your psychic telepathy powers to shake the walls of those trespassing cretin's minds by yelling what's written on the note. Hopefully they will be convinced.

give the kraken a stuffed animal friend

> Say that if they don't comply and leave, the Kraken will eat them.

>Drill TERMS OF EMPLOYMENT into the WEAK MINDS of these PATHETIC FOOLS.

e:
>Name the kraken, Jeremie.

So how much do actual treasure hordes and rooms cost?

Not that I'm saying we should buy either just yet

Use your psychic telepathy powers to shake the walls of those trespassing cretin's minds by yelling what's written on the note. Hopefully they will be convinced.

They all look shocked. #1 and #3 look scared, but #2 looks devious.

"How about you give us 5 gold each, and we'll guard your empty treasure hoard from the surface."

give the kraken a stuffed animal friend

The stuffed animal friend chills out with the kraken. The kraken looks happier. (-1 gold)

> Say that if they don't comply and leave, the Kraken will eat them.

A stray tentacle looms out from the ceiling, for emphasis. The three ruffians shout, and run out of your dungeon.

>Drill TERMS OF EMPLOYMENT into the WEAK MINDS of these PATHETIC FOOLS.

e:
>Name the kraken, Jeremie.

Jeremie clicks at their new name, pleased. Jeremie lives a charmed life.

Jeremie gains a level! They are now more powerful.

So how much do actual treasure hordes and rooms cost?

Not that I'm saying we should buy either just yet

Treasure hoards are just however much gold and such you want to pile on a floor.

A generic room with an abstract amount of space would be 10 gold.

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DUNGEON ROOMS

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SpoilerStarting room (non-descript)
Kraken ceiling trap

• Ally - Jeremie the Level 2 Kraken (1 kill)
  
• Ally - ??? the Level 1 Stuffed Animal Friend

RESOURCES / STATS:

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SpoilerGold: 48 pieces
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Dissuaded Intruders: 3.
Kills/Deaths: 1.
Notable Kills/Deaths: 0.

I'm feeling kinda cheap. How much for a fake treasure painting to fool the less intelligent adventurers?

So do Kraken kills drop loot? We are kinda short on funds.

Hey, it didn't cost us anything to make the note.

Let's fold the note into a boat, I bet it would make a cool toy for Jeremie.

> We're short on funds and Jeremie, cute as He is, is very lacking in marketable skills. Summon a cute goblin-ey minion, and tell them to find a village, and rob the local townsfolk.

>Attempt to hire kobolds for pocket lint, and stick them in the room with the kraken.

> buy the kraken some barbells

> Give Jeremie a hug

(I'm a big dungeon keeper fan so i aproove of this fanventure oh so hard)

If the Dark God Reywild allow it, let us cast a spell of visualisation



(Warning said spell is highly exerimental, unstable and susceptible to changes from colors to proportion to even persepctive and in no way endorsed by the dark gods and author of this fanventure. in short, it's pretty much fanart)

>Super duper dark powers of matter rearanging are nice but we're really gonna need some actual workforce if we want to extend our place. I say we recruit a couple goblins, their union is cheap. Imps are also a classic

>More of a long term note but Jeremy acan't stay in hole int he ceiling forever, it's dry and cramped for a kraken (unless he's one of those rare rooves kraken). If we can't afford to make a pond yet, maybe there'll be a natural undreground lake deeper in the mountain.

I'm feeling kinda cheap. How much for a fake treasure painting to fool the less intelligent adventurers?

>No, no a painting wouldn't work, that's what we have chests for ! Nice trappable chests. (And mimics, but sadly we dodn't have any of those yet)

((Wow, I have fanart!

So the update will be tonight in ~12 hours, thank you for your patience.

And now to finish that essay...))

I'm feeling kinda cheap. How much for a fake treasure painting to fool the less intelligent adventurers?

1 GP, although you could make it worth however much you wanted...

So do Kraken kills drop loot? We are kinda short on funds.

Krakens eat the whole creature, and while Jeremie gets a nice meal, the only loot they'd have dropped is anything that falls off in the struggle.

Hey, it didn't cost us anything to make the note.

Let's fold the note into a boat, I bet it would make a cool toy for Jeremie.

You make another note, and fold it into a little boat for Jeremie. They are pleased with this new thing!

> We're short on funds and Jeremie, cute as He is, is very lacking in marketable skills. Summon a cute goblin-ey minion, and tell them to find a village, and rob the local townsfolk.

You summon a lil goblin, and instruct them to find a village and rob the locals. (-5 gold)

"Yessir!"

They enthusiastically run out of the dungeon.

>Attempt to hire kobolds for pocket lint, and stick them in the room with the kraken.

You attempt to summon free kobolds, but nothing happens! Then, scraping the literal pocket lint out of your dungeony robes, you try to resummon the kobolds. The lint vanishes, and a single, skrawnny little kobold appears in the trap room.

Jeremie pets this new friend, and the kobold shakes visibly in fear.

> buy the kraken some barbells

Two barbells appear, and Jeremie understands, using a couple of their many tentacles to lift them repeatedly. (-4 gold)

> Give Jeremie a hug

You give Jeremie a big old hug. They hug you with most of their tentacles. The Stuffed animal companion gives Jeremie a tiny hug. You feel the love.

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Spoiler(I'm a big dungeon keeper fan so i aproove of this fanventure oh so hard)

If the Dark God Reywild allow it, let us cast a spell of visualisation



(Warning said spell is highly exerimental, unstable and susceptible to changes from colors to proportion to even persepctive and in no way endorsed by the dark gods and author of this fanventure. in short, it's pretty much fanart)

>Super duper dark powers of matter rearanging are nice but we're really gonna need some actual workforce if we want to extend our place. I say we recruit a couple goblins, their union is cheap. Imps are also a classic

>More of a long term note but Jeremy acan't stay in hole int he ceiling forever, it's dry and cramped for a kraken (unless he's one of those rare rooves kraken). If we can't afford to make a pond yet, maybe there'll be a natural undreground lake deeper in the mountain.

I'm feeling kinda cheap. How much for a fake treasure painting to fool the less intelligent adventurers?

>No, no a painting wouldn't work, that's what we have chests for ! Nice trappable chests. (And mimics, but sadly we dodn't have any of those yet)

You hire 2 more goblins, and an imp. (-13 gold)

You consider building a lake in the main room, as the kraken trap might be too cramped for Jeremie. You could create a lake room for 20 gold, or a lake for 10 gold, but that might be cutting the budget close.

Jeremie clicks in contentment. They are fine with their ceiling trap life.

Chests cost 2 gold, plus additional money for locks, traps, and treasure (all optional). Mimics are fairly expensive, and with only 26 gold available, you can't afford them.

The two goblins are engaged in meanful conversation. The imp, bored, is practicing its fire magic.

The kobald has stopped shaking, and is instead playing with a smaller tentacle. The kraken, using only 5 of its tentacles, is interacting with everything in its room in absolute delight.

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DUNGEON ROOMS / KNOWN WORLD

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SpoilerStarting room (non-descript)
Kraken ceiling trap

• Ally - Jeremie the Level 2 Kraken (+loyal)(1 kill)
  • 2 Barbells {held}
    
  • Little paper note boat {held}
• Ally - ??? the Level 1 Stuffed Animal Friend
  
• Ally - ??? the Level 1 Kobald (-weak)

Ally - ??? the Level 1 Goblin
Ally - ??? the Level 1 Goblin
Ally - ??? the Level 1 Imp

Away
Ally - ??? the Level 1 Goblin {on raiding quest}

RESOURCES / STATS:

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SpoilerGold: 26 pieces
Pocket Lint: 0.
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Dissuaded Intruders: 3.
Kills/Deaths: 1.
Notable Kills/Deaths: 0.

>How about a hidden side room where our off duty minions can hang out? Or at least avoid adventurers. I think the lint-kobold might like that.
Edit: Oh dear. That's a kobald not a kobold. Can we get the kobold some hair? Or a hat?

>Name the goblins, Jina, Dana, and ZOK, yes in all caps like that. Name the Imp, Sam.

>Name the Kobald, Klingle-Klangle. Give him some jingley boots and command him to dance for our amusement.

Ok, we need to entice some people to enter our dungeon. Maybe a sign? Yeah, a sign. Make a sign that says "Free treasure inside, just some goblins to deal with." and put it out front. We should also get a treasure painting that shows a pretty good amount of teasure, like a hoard sized pile.

>Send out a goblin to advertise our dungeon