L.O.V.E.

Oh god.



Oh, god.



What are you even doing with your life?

Quick, go into another person's cubicle and make out with them

Go find your boss and give them your two week notice so you'll have a good reference for your next interview at somewhere you actually want to work.

You're proactively leveraging your synergies to facilitate win-win scenarios in accordance with the company's vision statement, of course.

At least, that's what all these motivational posters you're required to put up in your cubicle say.

You're proactively leveraging your synergies to facilitate win-win scenarios in accordance with the company's vision statement, of course.

At least, that's what all these motivational posters you're required to put up in your cubicle say.

Every day, you stare at the posters that management has mandated you hang on the walls of your cubicle. They promise fulfillment, camraderie, happiness... as long as you conform.

Well, fuck conformity.

Quick, go into another person's cubicle and make out with them

You rush across the aisle into the nearest cubicle, planting a passionate kiss on the first available mouth. Spontaneity! It feels good to shed the trappings of corporate drone-hood. Does your unwitting target share your newfound zeal for life?



Too early to tell. A blank stare greets you as you pull back. "Gug," he says.

Oh well.

Go find your boss and give them your two week notice so you'll have a good reference for your next interview at somewhere you actually want to work.

It's time to make a change. You ascend via the elevator, to your boss's office. You've never been there before. You've never actually met him either - you've just seen him in the weekly "town hall" broadcasts from the 99th floor. But new, assertive you, you don't give a fuck. You're going to honey badger your way right up there and tell him you've had enough.

The elevator doors slide open silently, revealing your boss's office.



Plush red carpet lines the floor, accenting the wood paneling of the walls. On the walls hang ornate tapestries, gold trim glinting in the sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows.

The Boss sits in his chair, turned away from you, his fingers steepled.

Just as you open your mouth, he speaks, his voice smooth like melting butter.

"Who enters?"

SpoilerShow

loving this comic already

"The name is Scott Sterling, because even if you hit my face with a hammer my resolve won't break. What's YOUR name?"

"Can I use you as a reference?"

Boss-> assume he means art reference, turn around and begin posing.

SpoilerShow

SpoilerShow

loving this comic already

Thank you!!

"The name is Scott Sterling, because even if you hit my face with a hammer my resolve won't break. What's YOUR name?"

"Can I use you as a reference?"

Boss-> assume he means art reference, turn around and begin posing.

"I'm Scott Sterling, sir," you proclaim, glorious purpose swelling in your chest. "I've moved beyond the simple drudgeries of cubicle work, and long to feel the sun beat upon my face. I wish to run with the bulls, fly with the sparrows, swim with the salmon. I am meant for more than this, sir, and your chains can't keep me down! In short, sir, fuck this, fuck you, I'm out!"

At least that's what you plan on saying. What actually comes out is more like:



"Hi I'm Scott sorry to bug you if it's not too much trouble could I bother you for a reference please"



The Boss clears his throat. His words burble forth, a soothing balm to your ears. "A... reference, you say? A reference. Hmm."



"Why, I'd be happy to be a reference. Always lovely to hear of our employees pursuing extracurriculars in the arts, hmhm. How would you like to proceed?"[/size]

take off your clothes

Draw him handing you a really good reference and a hefty severance package as you leave the building

Draw him handing you a really good reference and a hefty severance package as you leave the building

But do it ravishingly

Ask him to get ready behind the curtain.

Steal his LOVE sash once he takes it off.

Be confident and honest! "i think you misunderstood me. I no longer desire to work here, and honestly dont think I ever expected to be working here this long, so its time for me to start the next chapter of my life."

> Meekly

Be confident and honest! "i think you misunderstood me. I no longer desire to work here, and honestly dont think I ever expected to be working here this long, so its time for me to start the next chapter of my life."

> Meekly

"Uh, sorry, no, not like that... it's just that I don't really want to work here anymore. I'm just not... feeling it, I guess, like I used to. Anyway, I think it's best for everyone if I just, you know, move on."

The Boss stands there for a moment in silence. If he's upset by your statement, his face doesn't show it. It's hard to read anything at all from his expression, actually.



Then, his eyes crinkle, he smiles, and compassion oozes from his pores. "Oh, Scott," he says benevolently, "we all have days like that. Even I do! Some days, life just beats you down, and you sit in your chair and you wonder if the CEO even cares about little old you. You wonder if everything we're doing here is even worth it. I get it, Scott, I really do." His voice softens. "But I can tell you, Scott, from personal experience, the CEO wants you to acheive your maximum potential here. He doesn't let anyone slip through the cracks. He really does care about you, me, all of us here. Really, Scott, he's not like any other CEO out there."



"So, Scott, what is it you feel you're not getting here? What hole do you have in your life that you think some other company will be able to fill for you? Let's work through this together. I really think we can figure this out."

> "This"
> Lift up your shirt to show a literal hole in yourself.

I guess...I never really figured out what our company actually...does?

"I dont think me behind a cubicle all day is helping me achieve my potential."

> My duties are rather static and routine and I desire to add a bit more spice to my work without disorienting myself.

Ask: What is our organization's goal? I honestly do not know despite being accepted here.