THE GRAND MARBLE TOWER! CLIMBING STAIRS HAS NEVER BEEN SO REWARDING.

(All questions or things to respond to will be in bold. The effects of these actions will be in italics.)

You stand in front of the GRAND MARBLE TOWER, a TOWER as magnificent as it is tall, both of which it is EXTREMELY SO. Your QUEST has driven you to climb the perilous TOWER, of which no one has returned! Countless lives lost! Heroes vanishing to time itself! You're honestly not sure why you're doing this, but clearly your reasons are as true as they are mysterious! Maybe you want to be popular, or there's a prince or princess at the top. I don't know, I'm not you, I don't know your life! Don't get all bundle-scrunched at me, sir or madam! I'm here to help! Probably! It's a lot better than not here to help at all.

Don't give me that look! You're the one who decided to climb this TOWER, it's not like I forced you into it. Much. You know how many people get to do this? I'd tell you, but I'm not good at counting corpses. Especially when they're in piles that spell TURN BACK. It's really tough! YOU try it. Yeah, didn't so.

It would be a good idea to figure out why you're going on this DEADLY ADVENTURE. Deadly FUN, that is! Also, regularly deadly. A real go-getter, this ADVENTURE is. It'll get that corner office come the next fiscal year. I certainly didn't force you into this, oh no. This is totally free will. People love that stuff!

So, individual! What drives you to climb the tower?

And, what are you? A human? Some sort of fangly fish? Can you ever read this? Is this getting through? I sure hope so, or we're in for a very short deathventure. I'll be honest, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel. To get to the barrel under that, and to the bottom of it. I'm sure you'll be fine! You probably even have a cool name or something, like Flexington von Muscles or Casty McSpellpants. Two of the most mighty heroes to ever walk the earth! You might even meet their corpses, if you're lucky. What a treat, huh?

Lastly, what can you do? Fire Magic? Juggling? Both? Are you some sort of horrible fire clown? Terrible. Nightmarish! You're probably not that, but that doesn't narrow it down too much, you sly adventurer. Your mind tricks won't work that easily on me. Unless what you do is mind tricks, then they might. You clever noodledodge!

Oh, what drives you? A Toyota Prius, of course. WITH TANK TREADS.

Your name is Mecha Matt and you're a tinkerer-inventor. You're seeking to reach the top of the tower because it's rumored that the ULTIMATE MULTITOOL lies at the top. Seriously, any tool. The ultimate protean device. You must have it.

And of course, your main ability is being able to creatively invent shit out of poorly-worded narration i mean uh whatever happens to be lying around.

You want to climb the tower because it's the only way you can finally get into heaven!

you are a demon spirit escaped from hell!

as a ghost you can't really do anything besides possess corpses!

you are here to get bitches, because you are a bitch
or, well, you're a werewolf if you want to get technical about it, but whatever. your name is Hanna bara Hanna and you are good at ripping, tearing, tracking, smelling things, digging holes, and making friends.

You are here to get rare components for your numerous diabolical inventions. After all, what else would be the goal of Damian de Genosa, the Genius Diabolist. When others say that their inventions are devilishly clever, yours are literally. While some of your contemporaries power their devices with coal and steam, yours are driven by the very innocence that you destroy. Yes, you can invent things, but their true power is only made manifest by the corruption they sow.

You climb the tower for THE HOPE THERE ARE BREADCRUMBS are on the top for you are a GIANT BIRD. You have PRODIGIOUS STRENGTH, AVIAN TELEPATHY, and most obviously, the ABILITY TO FLY.

You are a STAIRS ENTHUSIAST. You just REALLY LIKE STAIRS. That's it. Your abilities include CLIMBING STAIRS.
(is this more of an rp or forum adventure? cause if everybody gets their own character I might change this)

You have driven up to the GRAND MARBLE TOWER in your TANK TREAD PRIUS. The door is a little small for it, but you try to wedge it in there for a bit, seeing if you can get just the right angle for this sort of thing. After a few minutes, you hit a snag in the seam of the tower, causing your Prius to glitch and fling itself into the sky as you ragdoll harmlessly to the ground. Dammit. That going to cause some real HAVOK. You spent like half your points on that.

You lay on the ground, thinking about why you're here. You're a bitch! Wait, no, that's not it. You're after your SIGNIFICANT OTHER, the beautiful (probably) and loyal (somewhat) POLLO DE GENOSA. The breadcrumbs led you here, a sure sign that your soon to be hugged goal rests at the top, cooing, preening, and possibly enjoying a shallow dish of water in which to flap about. Also necromancy. Pollo sure loves her corpses. You trust her completely, and are 100% sure she didn't lead you here in order to harvest your organs or do something incredibly evil to power ancient artifacts. This is a good move on your part.

After dusting yourself off, you admire your own form in the well polished MARBLE of the TOWER. Who's that lady with the furry legs and the sharp teeth trapped in the MARBLE? Oh, wait, that's just you. You don't need PANTS, being WEREWOLF FROM THE WAIST DOWN, and your shirt reads ADVENTURE BABE across the chest. This was way more practical than armor. Same for your ponytail. That just screams "I'm sporty, but enjoy a responsible adventure." Jeez, you're tall. Were you always like 7 foot something? Probably. More werewolf for the hugging, baby. Hanna Matt-Bara doesn't mess around when it comes to friendly, family safe signs of affection towards her loved ones.

YOU ENTER THE DOOR TO THE NORTH. Yeah, that's a mood setter, I know. You love it. The first floor of the GRAND MARBLE TOWER is every bit as amazing as you thought it would be! There are even statues lining the edged of the circular room showing how many people made it to the top. Of course, circular rooms have as many edges as people who have made it, so it was a really good design choice. Your VEHEMENT LOVE OF STAIRS has really got your tail wagging today! There's a staircase that leads up, AND one that leads down! You're already getting thrown for an altitude-changing loop!

Will you go up, go down, or check out that SWEET CORPSE that's laying halfway up the stairs?

Hm, you haven't had fresh corpse in ages.

DOWN THE STAIRS! To the basement levels!

up!!! why go down??? that's the wrong way to go!

Go down, to spite the Fates and Furies

It's time to go downwards! Going down now means you get to go UP more stairs later, and that's exactly what you're up for. You do decide to check out that SWEET CORPSE on the stairs leading up before going DOWN to the basement. There's a WOODEN SWORD on it, which you take. Not that you'll need it with your AWESOME WEREWOLF CLAWS, but, c'mon. Free sword, right?

You go DOWN the stairs and into the BASEMENT CATACOMB. Singular catacomb, as you only see one tomb in the whole area. It's really big though, and there seems to be some vague prophesy on it about the end of days. You don't know, you're a werewolf, not a scholar.

There aren't any stairs down anymore. Just a massive, glowing tombstone that seems to be beckoning you to touch it. There's a staircase upwards, back where you came from, and a totally not suspicious treasure chest sitting right in front of the tombstone.

You have climbed -1/2 staircases.

throw a rock at the chest.

Who am I to deny fate? Rather, let's rush towards fate with arms open wide.

HIGH-FIVE the TOMBSTONE

Treasure chest treasure chest

eat contents of chest

dropkick the treasure chest into the tombstone for neato multitasking action!

You give the tombstone a sweet high five with enough force to launch a piece of it into the chest. This is followed by a flip that lands you directly into the remnants of the wooden chest, causing wood to fly in most directions.

There's a pendant in the remnants of the tombstone. Also, a handful of Generic Herb.

The Tombstone seems displeased by the chunk lost. You gather this by the ominous rumbling, chanting voices, and glowing purple energy coming out of it. Yeah, that all seems pretty bad. I've never seen a good tombstone that was glowing. I mean, who even puts single tombstones places if they aren't evil?

You're currently hovering in midair in front of the tombstone, and a voice is talking in your head. Something about never wearing the pendant and getting out of its resting place or bearing some sort of curse. You're honestly not listening, due to how focused and excited you are on getting to go back up those stairs. Man, you love stairs. You're also briefly considering fetching a few of those sticks that went flying from the chest.

You've got this weird pendant, and the force seems to be letting you leave. No corpses around here!

You currently have:
1 Weird Pendant
1 Handful of Herb
1 Adventure Babe Shirt
1 Wooden Sword

save that weird pendant for your beloved. it'll look much better on them than you!
pick up two sticks to add to your collection of long wooden junk.
now head upstairs again!

smoke the herb.

#blazeit420

smoke the herb.

#blazeit420

jubl

Giving into peer pressure, you attempt to smoke the Herb. But you're missing PAPER and FIRE. It would appear that you don't have the items to smoke the Herb. You instead nibble a bit on it. It's bitter, which means its healthy. That's how food works, you're like, 90% sure on that.

Back up the stairs you go! Not before grabbing Stick x2 and putting it into your INVENTORY SPACE along with the Amulet. What's the difference between an amulet and a necklace, even?

The first floor bores you now! You've plundered all the fun it could muster.

You advance! The second floor awaits!

There's a beast! A beast with sharp teeth and vicious, adorable claws. It stands a terrifying three feet tall, almost reaching your waist! You've never encountered something so fearsome, mostly because it is incredibly un-fearsome.

So there's a kobold. It stands there, so incredibly unimposing you aren't sure how to handle such a creature. It has a FAKE DAGGER and a SHIELD MADE OF WOOD. There are three CORPSES in this room.

You have climbed 1 1/2 staircases.

Hug the kobold as though your life depends on it!