Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Ow.

So good news is that shank actually hit something vital and I'm bleeding pretty badly over here.

The bad news is I don't seem to be running out of blood and now I'm immortal but also in tremendous amounts of pain.

Oh god life is excruciating hell right now.

IDE/Theory Sruix and Schazer have already formed an unshankable superbeing

I feel like this is a thing, actually

WHAT DO YOU KNOW

holy shit is granola that unshankable superbeing

PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY.

Sorry; sleep.

Shank-select: Dragon Fogel.

Oh, we're doing the thing

SHANK: Fogel

SEND HIM TO THE DEMONVERSE, OR WHEREVER THE SPACE-TIME ANOMALY LEADS IF NOT THE DEMONVERSE.

IMMORTALS ARE ALWAYS NEEDED IN THE DEMONVERSE, TO CLEAN OUT THE SOUL GRINDERS.

I am also not responsible for granola's immortality, granola's excruciating pain, or granola himself.

Presumably, anyway.

Sruix why? Why are you making me suffer so?!

...would you like a bandage and a cup of tea?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CLEAN THE UNPHYSICAL GROUND-UP ETHEREAL MANIFESTATIONS OF SOUL ENTRAILS FOR ETERNITY?

I CRAVE RELEASE FROM MY MORTAL COIL

...pretty sure you haven't got one of those any more, from what you've said, and I rather doubt your brand new immortal coil comes with a rollback clause...

...

How's about some nice apple pie instead?

Why is it that I, a mere mortal

Shank: Granolaman

can i jump into the space-time anomaly

Wait what the heck is going on I'm so lost

Wait what the heck is going on I'm so lost

When in doubt, Shank.

Wait what the heck is going on I'm so lost

When in doubt, Shank.

A+ advice

THESE NUMBERS BROUGHT TO YOU BY VINCE

FROM ACCOUNTING

Red709 - 9 (Solaris, Dragon Fogel, Pharmacy, cyber95, Palamedes, makerofthegames, Red709, x1372, amosmyn)
Dragon Fogel - 6 (Scoffles, Sruixan, Schazer, Sanzh, Sotek, SupahKiven)
makerofthegames - 4 (Whimbrel, ICan'tGiveCredit, druplesnubb, Granolaman)
Granolaman - 4 (Acionyx, BlazerC, konec0, beruru)
amosmyn - 2 (Dalmationer, Demonsul)
"Anomaly" - 2 (Chwoka, Crowstone)
Dalmationer - 1 (antisequitur)
Pick Yer Poison - 1 (Fragowump)
Fragowump - 1 (Phish)
Schazer - 1 (Gnauga)
"Anyone opposed to creating a shankproof mech" - 1 (Sai)
- 1 (Bigro)
Akumu - 1 (Pharas)
Whimbrel - 1 (AgentBlue)
druplesnubb - 1 (Not The Author)
"Elvis" - 1 (yd12k)
"the spacetime anomaly" - 1 (antisequitur)

Abstaining - 15 (Akumu, Seedy, Coldblooded, Niall, Deviant One, fivex, Prime Intellect, Ixcaliber, Breadpocalypse, Plaid, Mikeee, Truegreen, Everanix, Chocolate Pi, Pick Yer Poison)

With 52 players alive, it takes 27 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Day ends at 2:00 PM EST on Saturday, July 19, or in ~48 hours!

If I declare myself opposed to the creation of a shankproof mech does sai's vote change to me because I'm still liking that whole "Get shanked, Ascend to godhood" thing

Granolaman - 3 (Acionyx, BlazerC, konec0)

Granolaman - 1 (beruru)

Great, not only am I doomed to an eternity of punctured kidney pain, but now there's two of me for double the pain!

I'm now torn worse than Natalie Imbruglia

On the one hand, I don't want to abandon my fellow S-named compatriots and Fogel has a serious case of smugmug.

On the other hand, Granola is just sitting there, flaunting his aliveitude at me

On the other other hand, which is too many hands, there are folks not even participating in our exciting shanknanigans. And one of those people is Seedy, who I believe I am under contractual obligation to stab whenever possible.

I am just flat out Rip Torn over here.

FOG3L, 1S TH1S YOU?

I'm still liking that whole "Get shanked, Ascend to godhood" thing

Alright, sounds fair to me. We can help you out with that first thing at least.

All right, there's been too much stuff going on that isn't a whalefight, including an apparent conspiracy against me by the letter S. So I think it's time to settle this once and for all.

First off, Whimbrel has kindly provided us with a suitable arena.

We shall fight on the back of this pantswhale. Each of us shall select a weapon to bring to the duel, and then we shall battle.

As I initially issued the challenge, it's only fair that Pharmacy gets first choice of weapons. Make your selection, and then we can begin.

Shank: Granolaman

More like...Granolamangled.............

I'll just leave now