[split] The Return of Jester Mafia - GAME END!

Blatant anti-jester propaganda

Awfully bold words considering you have still not shown any evidence of any kind. I would like to see your jester birth certificate, though I doubt you have one, as well as your jester school diploma. After all, you definitely don't sound like you graduated because any jester who did would know that there is no balloon animal family - being a balloon animal is a trait that can be found in other animal types. Balloon dogs are a type of dog, balloon cats are a type of cat, etc.

The final nail in your coffin is your walrus argument. Generally, walruses a pretty slow moving and lazy species (not like jesters at all!), if they really were 'purer' forms of jesters they wouldn't be like that! Secondly, you admit, you admit that you are trying to convert people into walruses by splicing our jester dna with those of walruses. (That in itself is offensive enough because you are suggesting that somehow the good jesters of Jesterland are not already the perfect representation of jesterness.)

I would also like to point out that the plot has already started. You might notice that candidate Sruixian is already one of them. You can tell because he's declared that the regular walrus is his favourite animal.

You must elect me so I can stem the tide of this forced walrus conversion scheme and save jesterkind!

Oh yeah and I guess I can support an anti-dog policy now, as long as we work against the walrus cult tomorrow.

Vote: Kieros

though I said I had to leave, I have a moment to spare for you noble jesters still

if you jesters could be so kind as to bring an end to this day while I, Jester Mirdini, am still around, I would deeply appreciate it. As upstanding and wonderful jesters with the best interests of Jesterland in your hearts, I am sure you can muster this jesterly gesture! I believe in all of you jesters, and in Jesterland with all of my jester heart.

I suppose I'm okay with the Kieros lynch. It was getting tiresome trying to read the morse code noise anyways.

Lynch: The Dog
Elect: Malky
for promises of euphoria machines and xiaolin showdowns. The two are most certainly not mutually exclusive.

Vote: Kieros
I suppose The mods can wait... for now.

Oh hey, it's 8 PM. Day is over.

You guys were one vote away from a lynch. Jester election results will follow shortly, when I feel like writing them up.

You can all be assured these results are based off of a tried and tested formula which has aided the Jester peoples for generations.

There certainly is no bias when the person running is also the person to creates and presents the results.

Alright! Let's check the final numbers!

Dragon Fogel:
btp:
MalkyTop:
Palamedes:
yd12k:
Purple Walrus:
Mirdini:
Sruixan:

WOAH! WOW! Man I don't think I've ever seen such close results! Looks like we're going to have to do a bit of a recount! This can be a very long and tedious process that involves going back through public records and paperwork and -

DONE.

Thanks to the well documented efforts of jesters here, we have discovered that MalkyTop, Palamedes, yd12k, Purple Walrus, Mirdini, and Sruixan are ineligible to run for the office of Prime Minister.

WAIT WHAT!? But they did all that work and filled out all the paperwork...wait...wait THE PAPERWORK!

Well, this is an opportunity I’m not about to pass up! I’m hereby announcing my candidacy for Prime Minister! I’ll be the best Prime Minister of Jesters that Jesterland has every seen! We’ll have a government for the jesters, by the jesters, and of the jesters! Every jester will...

Oh, yeah, I guess you guys can campaign too. If you want to lose, that is. Hang on, there’s an application form to fill out...

Name:
Other Name:
Party:
No, We Meant Political Party:
Campaign Platform:
Favorite Animal:
How Drunk Did You Get Last Night:
Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been A Nonjester:
Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat:
Kazoo:
Gif/Jif/Grif:

Pretty simple, right? Anyhow, that’s everything, so get lynching! And also campaigning.

I KNEW there was something off about that. The Prime Minister position doesn't require any paperwork! That's the application for admission into JESTER PARLIAMENT! and you can't apply to both the parliament AND the prime minister position. Fogel tossed that application on there to sabotage the results!

That's low! I mean, I'll infect people with viruses but at least I don't stoop to using bureaucracy.

Guess it's just him and me now. And since I'm updating this post - heh heh heh-

DRAGON FOGEL WINS

NOOOO!!!!

After all my hard work and subterfuge! I...I don't think I want to be here anymore...

huh? what do you want? oh...oh really? well that's neat I guess...

Okay guys my Jestergovment contacts have just informed me that 6 members of parliament are abdicating their seats.

Apparently, they were so moved by your campaigns that they feel compelled to give their positions to more worthy parties.

First up we have Purple Walrus gaining a seat in parliament!

Here's an image of the incumbent saying his farewells to his jester parliament cohorts.

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Spoiler

Pink Walrus

Next up we have MalkyTop gaining a seat for herself! Her message must have really resonated with some of the members present.

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Spoiler

Looks like Palamedes is also getting a spot on the parliament. His mud-slinging tactics really resonated with the common man.

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It should come as no surprise that Surixan has convinced some elected chump that he is the better man. Perhaps the lobby for semi-nude pictures of Surixan has something to do with it.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

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Spoiler

Only 2 more slots to go, and I'm pretty sure that I'm getting one of them

MIRDINI gains 2 parliament seats!

What!? BOTH SEATS GO TO MIRDINI? How did he manage to convince parliament to let that happen?? Maybe he did something in his posts, lets analyze it:

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Spoiler

huh, well he does know how to cater to his constituency.

Congrats to the sort of winners I guess. Any important parliamentary duties will be sent to your Quicktopics. Maybe you'll be able to keep that power-hungry fogel in check.

SAME STORY AS LAST NIGHT. SEND IN YOUR NIGHT ACTIONS AND MAYBE WE'LL DECIDE TO HAVE A DAY 3

oh wait whoops

Turns out some jesters wanted to be different and vote using cryptic obscure words.

okay I guess we'll actually count your crazy worded votes WHATEVER

RECOUNT

So there is a rumor going around that I, the new Prime Minister of Jesterland, am unable to count votes properly. This is, of course, ludicrous and I will prove it right now.

As you can clearly see, we have nine votes for lynching Kieros, and I totally didn't overlook any, nor did I at any point suggest we were short on votes for the lynch. With this settled, we will now perform the traditional Jesterland inaugural lynch.

(It's a tradition which I have just started right now.)

Much to everyone's surprise, Kieros was the Dog. Seriously, who could have seen that coming?

Poor Kieros was looking for his master, and could search for him every night. However, he also had a raging hatred of newspapers, and would kill anyone he visited who had one in their possession.

He would have won if he visited his master in the night. He did not have any posting restrictions.

With that out of the way, I have an important announcement. As of tomorrow, I'll have to turn my full attention on my Prime Ministerial jester duties, so I won't have time to manage this jester game. Of course, since Bob is a filthy traitorjester, and also going on a trip for a little while, I clearly can't trust him to run things in my absence.

So I'm just going to hand the reins over to... hang on, where's my dartboard...

THWACK!

Oh, whoops, I missed the dartboard completely and hit Solaris. Well, in the interests of goodwill - and avoiding a lawsuit on my first day in office - I'm putting Solaris in charge of running this game tomorrow.

But don't worry, everyone! My duties won't take full effect until morning, so I can stay with you all for tonight before I head off to be Prime Minister of Jesterland full-time. So get those actions in promptly!

What? What in tarnation is this dart doing in my head region? What kind of ship are you running here...

*stares down at name tag*

Newly-Appointed Prime Minister Fogel?

*looks around, looks at player list*

What is this? This is just about the saddest excuse for a group of jesters I've ever seen? You call yourselves jesters? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO RING A BELL IF IT WAS THE ONLY WAY YOUR MOMMA WOULD LOOK AT YOU!

So I'm in charge of you maggots now? Well, I don't know how you've been handled and trained, but starting tomorrow FORGET IT ALL, because you are training under me, SARGENT SOLARIS, and I don't let just any old fool or clown call themselves a jester!

I EXPECT ALL OF YOU HERE IN THE MORNING.

DISMISSED!

WAKE UP CALL! ALL JESTERS, UP AND ATTEM!

Well well well, how was the sleep you sad excuses for jesters? I hope that it was well, because I don't know what kind of schooling or experiences you've had nor do I give a damn. What I do care about, is that now you are all under MY command. And that means that from this point onward, I expect your ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT.

I suppose that some of you have thought that you were successful jesters, that you were somehow Actually Worthy of being CALLED a jester. Well, that was the world you USED to live in, and this is now the world that you DO live in. And in my world, none of you have EARNED that right.

But I'll be fair. You'll all have your shot back at jesterdom, you'll just have to work for it.

But first... it seems that one of you have neglected to join us. PURPLE WALRUS, GET OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW!

...

I swear these recruits get worse and worse every year.

...

Well.

Jesters, it seems that my judgement was premature. It seems that Purple Walrus is dead.

While normally I would mourn for such a lost soul, the state of his quarters were not quite what I would call... in order. Regardless, he was the Watchjester.

If my report is to be believed, his name comes from his tendency to observe other Jesters. Supposedly, he started watching them on a whim, and then noticed their strange visitors. My report is fuzzy here, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say that the poor soul never stopped and got swallowed up by the jesterwatching. Each night he could visit another player, and learn the identities of whatever jesters visited said player in the night.

He would have won if he saw no other players for three nights in a row. If he had, he probably would have lost his obsession and relaxed a bit. What a shame.

I suppose that I should also note that while I went to retrieve the late Purple Walrus, I saw a trail of blood leading from Granola's house to cyber95. How filthy! I expect my grounds to be LICKED clean by the time night fall hits.

Now that that's out of the way...
Wait a minute. SRUIXIAN, ATTENTION.

What is that disgusting thing on your bicep?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW.
YOU HAVE "TEHPILOT" TATTOOED ON YOUR LEFT BICEP AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHY?

THAT
IS
IT.

Attention Livelist

-Jacquerel
-Mirdini
-Not The Author
-yd12k
-bigro
-TehPilot
-cyber95
-Palamedes
-frigidScholar
-Sruixan
-Granolaman
-SupahKiven
-MalkyTop
-btp

I WANT ALL OF YOU TO DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!
RIGHT NOW.

*sits down*
*hands Solaris twenty JesterBux*

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE PRIME MINISTER OF JESTERLAND

My fellow jesters, in these trying times for all jesters, sometimes difficult decisions must be made.

Fortunately, sometimes there are easy ones. For instance, last night I decided to ask Jester Parliament to disband themselves, because really, all they do is get in the way of my great ideas, like trying to disband Jester Parliament.

And the results of that vote are...
Yea - 256 - (Mirdini, Mirdini, a bunch of other jesters who people apparently elected for some reason)
Nay - 4 - (Sruixan, Palamedes, Purple Walrus [deceased], MalkyTop)

Well, that's a decisive margin, which is clearly the result of my magnificent leadership, and totally not bribing Jester Parliament!

On a completely unrelated note, Jester Parliament has met their win condition of being disbanded. This means every member of Jester Parliament has earned 1/260th of a win! Of course, with his two seats, Mirdini has earned 1/130th of a win.

Congratulations, everyone!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do now that Jester Parliament's been disbanded. But don't worry, I'll be stopping in throughout the day to keep you informed of my stellar leadership of Jesterland!

Where the hell does all this blood keep coming from?!
Cyber you best not be secretly painting my house or some shit

*drops 20 basses at Solaris's feet*

I dunno but maybe tonight a bunch of people should come visit me to help me find out what's goin' on here

also i could tell them some kind of secret while they're there

Well I'm feeling weirdly light-headed this morning but I suppose a spot of rousing exercise will soon sort things out huh?

Jacquerel lies on the ground and falls asleep

Jacquerel lies on the ground and falls asleep

>:C

No, get up.

nnnuuuh
Waves one arm weakly in the air

dont nnnnuuuuhh me get uppppppp

(you are making me look bad in front of all of the jestersssssss)

FOGEL YOU ARE WHAT IS SCIENTIFICALLY KNOWN AS AN ABSOLUTE BUTT.

I BELIEVE I WANT TO ORGANIZE A RIOT.

IT IS TOO BAD I AM IN ESTONIA FOR SOME REASON???

I'LL GIVE YOU 20 ESTONIAN BUCKS, SOLARIS.

With a heroic effort, Jacquerel levers himself off the ground with both arms before flopping back down with a thud.

does that count

I guess.

>:C

OKAY WHO DID IT

WHO TOOK MY SHIT AND GAVE ME A GUN

HOW WILL I JESTER WITHOUT MY SHIT

Also Sruix I think you're a poser who is just ripping off my sweet ass Epam tattoo. That being said.

Sick tattoo.