Battle Royale! Game Complete!

Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.

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Cool, things are starting to get interesting. I won't pick favourites yet, but I suppose I should offer advice to people who I might be looking at for elimination.

Firstly, this is a collaborative story masquerading as an RP. At the moment short posts are ok as you execute an action before letting its target write out the response, but as we get on you can actually execute a whole fight scene from your viewpoint as long as the net result is believable.
For example, Zeke and Mike could be alone on a rooftop and either of you could write quite a long nice fun piece about your dodging and ducking and weaving and the thrill at the first strike and then you gaining the upper hand at the end of your post but leaving it open for your opponent's response. Seriously, read, say... page 10 of Grand Battle II, especially Snoomanwaff's posts. He does a lot of shit to my character but I take it in my stride.

And conversely to that, inaction is about the worst possible thing you can do if you want to survive in this competition. Just posting a short "I watch cunningly for a chance to strike" isn't interesting or contributing to the story.

Conversely to THAT, if you're a good writer you CAN have a character who thinks more than acts. Maxwell from GBII is a case in point; generally he's done more in the hands of other characters than in his own controller's posts but Sruixan's posts are always fun to read because of the way Maxwell sees and thinks about the world, and his conclusions are valid and interesting.

That's the big rant, because the chief grounds for elimination is a negative/negligible contribution to the creation of the story, followed by the other quibbles like style and spelling and structure.

Originally posted on MSPA by Drakenforge.

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[img]images/smilies/mspa_face.gif[/img] You should edit out the use of names in your characters speech

Mike and Xeno's names weren't mentioned around you.

I think i'm right, might be wrong somehow.

Schazers fault. No introduction, were we given. 'S a difference between BR and TGB I guess.

I suddenly realize critisizing the creator might be dangerous.
Specially schazer...

You don't wanna know :<

Originally posted on MSPA by Kiren17.

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[img]images/smilies/mspa_face.gif[/img] You should edit out the use of names in your characters speech

Mike and Xeno's names weren't mentioned around you.

I think i'm right, might be wrong somehow.

Schazers fault. No introduction, were we given. 'S a difference between BR and TGB I guess.

I suddenly realize critisizing the creator might be dangerous.
Specially schazer...

You don't wanna know :<

\

I completely understand where you're coming from, and it makes perfect sense, but for MY sake it helps me keep track of things if I put names of other characters. I know it's an enormous plot hole, but that's just what I do. Sorry guys, I must be making this so difficult for you ^^'

Originally posted on MSPA by Korbz.

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"All right, it's about time I go do something. Sneaking around is boring," Grimm said. He emerged from the shadows ,casually strolled behind Xeno and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hello."

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Just posting a short "I watch cunningly for a chance to strike" isn't interesting or contributing to the story.

I feel this is somewhat directed towards me [img]images/smilies/mspa_face.gif[/img]

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

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Um, about the 'names not mentioned around you'.
You're wrong.
You'll notice in the arena area, everybody is introduced.
I've mentioned it in one of my posts, and a few other people have recalled it as well.

Originally posted on MSPA by Drakenforge.

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(I find that fine Kiren.
Seeing how I didn't remember anyones name, and still probably don't.
Cyber, wasn't thing-a-mabob ((see?)) sleeping though?
Might have been after the intro... well either way, keep at it, 'cos you're allowed.)

Originally posted on MSPA by Kiren17.

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(Thanks for understanding, Drakenforge, I appreciate it :3)

Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.

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YOU ARE ALL CORRECT.

And Korbz, don't worry, Grimm can lurk in the shadows and avoid trouble if that's what you want, as long as you give a nice story about WHY he'd rather stay in the shadows. Did he learn it from his time as a bodyguard? Has he been making assessments of the other characters? If it's out of character for Grimm to go around attacking, that's perfectly ok. Just explain it in your story.

And yes Drakenforge, in the usual vein of things, I did give everyone's names at the introduction. But calm down, I promise I won't kill you *hugs*
However, Kiren's character's perfect memory of all the names seems... out of character, I must say, Cobra not having been a diplomat or world-renowned listener. Granted, I could be completely misjudging your character and all it would take is a descriptive post explaining how.
You'll notice in earlier Battles people would often say "My character spotted.. um... Opponent? Was it? over the hill." or similar.

Just remember, plot holes are what the Composer digs up and puts right in front of you if you just leave them unattended. Then they break your neck 8D

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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holy shitaki things have happened

"Hmth, I am Zeke, 4th General of Nelo Rose, trained by the warriors of the Seikenus village for seven years and trained under Lord Alexander himself for forteen years."

Zeke leaned to the side still having his arms crossed.

"You might want to look behind you"

Originally posted on MSPA by Mystify.

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Itzal would have more elaborate scenes going on, but I fell like I should allow the author to respond to what I'm doing. Especially at this early stage.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Lankie, who is that directed to? Things have moved around a lot, and I'm not sure if anyone is even still near Zeke at the moment.

Originally posted on MSPA by Korbz.

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I think Zeke's talking about Xeno, and at the end talks about Grimm who poked Xeno on the shoulder.

Originally posted on MSPA by yousodumb.

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Xeno slowly turned around to face the person behind him, "You did not surprise me in the slightest bit, though you where close. Who might you be masked one?"

Originally posted on MSPA by Korbz.

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"I am Grimm, an Eclipse," he said, introducing himself, "And who might you be?"
He was not at all startled to see a shadow being. He's obviously nothing like the lesser fools I fought before this competition. He thought.

Originally posted on MSPA by Kiren17.

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Cobra continues up the stairwell and sees the exit to the top of the ministry.

"I've got you cornered..."

He emerges out of the top and looks around the flat - and empty - roof.

"Dammit, I knew I should have taken that door through... Oh well, I'll take this opportunity to scout a little bit."

Cobra walks to all 4 edges (if the building is square) of the roof and stares down at the world below. The only reason he can see is because of his amazing sight attribute, due to being a fang layonin.

"What's that?"

He sees something moving around in the shadows not too far off, and watched it walk around and tap Xeno on the shoulder.

"Looks a bit small to be an opponent... But what the hell, there's nothing better to do..."

Cobra rushes back down the stairs. (time skip)

He reaches the bottom and slowly (and as stealthily as possible) makes his way to the entry of the ministry, then looks out to see Xeno and, he's guessing Grimm standing together.

"Interesting... I guess alliances wouldn't be frowned upon at this point in the game... But still, I must be wary..."

Cobra puts his weapons away and walks slowly out of the ministry towards Xeno and Grimm.

"Hello, I'm Cobra, I'm guessing you are Xeno? Don't be alarmed, I've no intention of fight you - or you (looking at Grimm) - I thought perhaps we could form some sort of alliance?"

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Clearing some things up; I have no idea where Xeno or Itzal or Mike are, but from what I can gather I think Itzal and Mike are in some room in the ministry, and Xeno is with Grimm outside of the ministry (where I am now, correct me if I'm wrong) I use names to keep track of everything, even if I have no idea who the person is. Also, to give Cobra some depth and personality I have him talk to himself often - that also helps me figure things out.

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

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Hey, what ministry are you guys in? Gadget is in the Ministry of Truth, but where's everybody else?

Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.

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Pretty sure they're all lurking in the vicinity of Plenty.

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

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Thought so. Reserved.

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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we are at plenty

Zeke quickly grew bored, there were now three opponent by the entrance and all they did was make idle conversation. He expected a more violent reaction from such a competition.

Zeke swiftly turned around and headed to the elevator, leaving the neat pile of glass shards there.
The elevator opened to just as Zeke reached it revealing Whit.

Originally posted on MSPA by Korbz.

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Aren't you on the roof? 'cause if you are, wasn't Whit going to the bottom of the building, not the top?

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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nope, i was on the bottom floor

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

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Gadget looked at the floor plans of the buildings, and after much looking at the building the others went to, and studying the plans, he determined that the building most of the contestants were in or near was the Ministry of Plenty.
"How would you feel about trying some demolition?"
If Whir had real eyes, you would see a childlike joy through them. "Really? What can we destroy? Will it be cool!?"
"You see that building off slightly in the distance?" Gadget was pointing out the broken window, towards the Ministry of Love, "An experiment in long distance removal might be interesting."
"Like the entire 13th floor?"
Gadget took some whiteout from a nearby desk, and pulled out the page with floor thirteen of the Ministry of Love.
"I doubt that a single pillar could support all the floors above it," He looked at Whir, and decided not to deprive him any longer, "Okay, okay. You can do it this time, Whir."
Whir grabbed the brush from the whiteout container, and starting applying it to the entire right side of the page.
"What are you doing, Whir?"
"Simple. I'm dropping the upper half of a building near our opponents. It's a competition, so why not try to gain an advantage?"
Very quickly, almost an entire floor started disappearing from the Ministry of Love. Any supports that were once there simply ceased to exist. And the upper part of the tower began to collapse. Debris fell all around it, and the lower floors remained surprisingly in tact. Due to exactly where the supports were removed, most of the pieces of building breaking and falling off started falling on the side closest to the Ministry of Plenty.
Gadget gave a stern look at Whir.
"Yeah, I know. Don't care! I'm going to help you win this, whether you want to play, or not."
'Well... I suppose his heart is somewhat in the right place.'

Originally posted on MSPA by yousodumb.

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i'm reserved after cyber.

((it seems that everyone likes Xeno, I'll have quite the epic post to do.))

Originally posted on MSPA by Korbz.

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EDIT: Crap, didn't see youso's reserve.

Originally posted on MSPA by yousodumb.

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"I, am Xeno photon," He said to the masked man, Suddenly a strange creature approached and made an offer. Xeno was taken aback by the wolf-man's Offer, An alliance this early in the game would be most interesting. "I think that a three-way alliance would be most beneficial," He said to Grimm and Cobra, "I think that these should be the rules, Don't kill each other, and if someone tries to kill one of us help them out, what do you two think?" The two where about to reply when suddenly they where cut off by the sound of falling rubble, They looked up to see massive chunks of the building falling down towards them. Xeno lept into action and picked them up with a great deal of effort, He jumped out of the way of a huge section which was about to crush all three of them. "I believe we are all in agreement, no?" Xeno said, smiling smugly.