The Savage Brawl [Round 5: Battletopia]

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Konka Rar did not have much time to reflect on his situation. The pertinent information was that there were seven entities with an interest in killing him, and he had no intention of letting them succeed.

As if to drive home the point, Ekelhaft leapt towards him moments after his arrival.

Konka Rar cursed himself. He should have thrown the first blow. With little time to prepare a spell, he settled for a laser blast from his robotic arm instead, aiming at the tentacles extending towards him. They fell to the ground, separating from the main body, but continued to move.

"Naturally," Rar muttered to himself, taking the opportunity to flee. He began to flee towards the River Styx as the detached limbs flailed about, seemingly unable to decide whether to pursue him or rejoin the main body. Eventually, they settled on the latter, and Ekelhaft continued on its way, seeking out the lich.

Konka Rar had not gained much distance, but he had gained something more valuable: Time. He prepared a spell, and as the slime creature drew near once more, he unleashed it with a single word.

"Inferno!"

A pillar of flame rose around the blob, engulfing it.

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SpoilerPersonally, I think this game is off to a good start.

Originally posted on MSPA by Not The Author.

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Calm - Connections with "Devil." Melee, special weapon (heat). Moderate danger. Not enough information. Observe.

This sort of tactical analysis was automatic for Gormand. He could've stopped it, but didn't need or want to. His full attention wasn't required yet, anyway.

Hand of Silver, 'Hoss' - Extensively cybernetic. 'Tyrant guy.' Unknown combat style. Not enough information. Observe, approach.

Part of his mind was nearly always thus occupied. He believed it came from having been in charge of such a vast army for so long, but he'd had a knack for this sort of thing as long as he could remember.

Ekelhaft - 'Avatar of Decay.' Toxic. Shapeshifting (eyes, teeth, at least). High danger, maintain distance. Not enough information. Observe, avoid.

His army... His Empire! The full force of his predicament hit him then, momentarily halting his analyses. He'd been pulled from his kingdom as it prepared to march against the capitol of Mankind, that bastion of hope, Metropolis. He'd noted before that Humans - most species, in fact - weren't terribly clever when it came to names. But his troops, the Gorlings! Would they survive without the source of their life? Would his kingdom decay as the Virus died off? Would they be overrun by the other races in his abscence? Would they find a way to... dare he think it... replace him? He turned his thoughts from these morbid and focused on his equally morbid surroundings.

Ziirphael - God of Death. Shapeshifting (guns, at least). High danger. Not enough information. Observe.

...Mostly focused of his surroundings, anyway.

He was in a dank, dark cavern, a staircase behind him and a long expanse of stone and air to his front. The cavern ahead had once been packed with traps - Gormand could safely say had been due to the sheer volume of corpses that littered the ground. Most of them were riddled with arrows (probably poisonous), though several were caught in spike traps or crushed against the walls. A continuous pitter-patter of liquid hitting stone caused the meatball to look up: Several bodies were smashed against the ceiling, massive axes embedded in their chests. The corpses were apparently fresh, as their blood was still fluid. Beyond the mass of bodies, there lay an expanse of untouched floor. Beyond that, Gormand could barely make out two pinpricks of light at the far end of the cavern - likely a pair of torches flanking some sort of passage.

He decided he'd risk the staircase.

Doctor Anarchy - Mad Scientist. 'Death ray,' jetpack. Moderate danger. Not enough information. Observe.

Before his ascent, he realized he'd dwindled to nearly a third of his original, formidable girth. One of his several flagella wrapped around a nearby corpse. This one seemed to have died of being bludgeoned about the head, though whether he'd been beaten by one of the others (they all seemed to have oars, for some indescernable reason,) or merely fallen down the stairs was difficult to determine. Nevertheless, crushing blows were unlikely to involve poison, and this body might be 'eaten' safely.

Konka Rar - Cybernetic, undead. Necromancer. 'Contestant in another battle?' (File for later analysis.) Knowledgable. High value. Not enough information. Observe, approach.

Since Gormand was not yet massive enough to fully envelop the body, he made do with holding it to his back with a pair of limbs. The meatball's loss of mass was something of a blessing - had he been larger, he'd not have been able to make it up the stairs. It was still a tight squeeze.

Diego Red - Aeromancer. 'Vibrations.' 'Earworm.' Not enough information. Observe.

Gormand did not like being used. He was not used to it, and it was unpleasant. He was here, against his will, to fight in some abominable 'contest' thing, apparently for no other reason than the amusement of the least-focused individual he'd ever seen. His lone eye narrowed, concentrating on his analysis of the final contestant. Whether she knew it or not.

The Cultivator - Large-scale chrono-spatial displacement. Combat organizer. Only one? (File with 'another battle.') Maximum danger. Skip observation. Destroy utterly.

Originally posted on MSPA by MyifanW.

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"Shit."

Diego cursed, as he finally became sure of his situation. He was apparently going to need to kill seven other beings in order to live. Diego sighed. That sounded difficult, esspecially given the others' dangerous sounding introductions. Several magic users. Several users of bizarre machines. Several nonhumans. The absurdity of the situation had not quite sunk in yet, and he knew it. He needed to take this time to sort himself out before he dwelt on external varibles further.
Diego glanced down at himself. "Good," he thought, at least he was equipped with decent tools. The weight of the chainmail under his shirt became aparent as he acknowledged it. Diego thanked his past self for being smart enough to wear armor constantly, knowing that things could go wrong at any time.

"However, this isn't exactly what I thought would go wrong..."

Diego brushed against his sword. He really wasn't too skilled at using it, and had only worn it as a formality for being accepted into the king's court. Still, it could be useful. Finally, his focus rested on the small knife he had under his shirt. That tiny blade was a godsend to him. It was made of mythril, a metal that channeled and altered magic. By vibrating it, the mythril knife shook violently so that anybody he stopped the blade with would have a terribly strong shock. Remembering the competitors again, Diego had a feeling that the knife would be his greatest ally.

His thoughts finally drifting back to the savage brawl in general, Diego displaced his bewilderment with logic and annoyence. Why was he of all people taken? He wasn't quite a fighter, nor extremely powerful as a Mage. He was just... Infamous. Upon deeper thought, Diego comprehended that his infamy might have worthy of being summoned like this. If that were the case, it would be wonderful to go back and read what history had to say about him. He pondered that idea for a moment before forcing to the back of his mind. He couldn't think of going home now. He had to sharpen his mind, and focus on the path he needed to take. There was no way out of this mess... Besides killing the others. A calm expression grew over his face as he contemplated his options. Luckily, the woman had not announced his abilities and nature fully. Diego still had being unknown on his side. Alhough he doubted he would make any allies here, he began composing a fake identity for himself, to further disguise his abilities.

"Alright... I'm a... an executioner. I use my aero magic to... No, I channel my knife with my aeromagic so that I can kill a person instantly. Yes, that's plausible... Yes. I should be fine. I'll do this like I always do... Carefully and secretly. Damn, half of these people don't even have earholes..."

Glancing around, Diego realized he was at the mouth of a cave. He recalled the name: the afterlife. He seemed to be on some sort of island, as well as inside a cave. In the distance, Diego could hear unfamiliar sounds, which probably came from other contestants. Grimly accepting his fate, he began his habitual first step to killing- listenin, gathering information. Amplifying the sounds coming towards him, he eavesdropped on the others.

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SpoilerWeee starting in the afterlife cave

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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“MY GOGGLES ARE AWESOME!”

Dr. Anarchy found herself standing in a baron wasteland, intense heat and rivers or lava surrounding her. “Well...great. I said I was bored but I was expecting something a little more…human-y?” Dr. Anarchy wasn't talking to anyone, just herself. “Well…I guess time to surve-“

The Doctor stopped to watch a monstrous slime, Ekelhaft, ooze past her. Staring into its many, many eyes was alike staring into insanity itself. She stared as it went past, completely ignoring her, she shook her head forcibly.

“O…K…repressing that out of my mind…Where was I?” She pulled up her sleeve to reveal a strange watch like device. “Oh Yes! Survey the situation.” AS few button presses later and her backpack sprouted metallic wings and jets at the bottom. With a loud whir, the jets spewed an unnatural green fire and she took off, flying in the air.

She was fully aware that such an action would make her blatantly obvious to her fellow competitors. Then again she was never one for stealth or subtlety. She landed on a particularly large stalagmite, in the middle of the cavern and surrounded by lava. “Alrighty!” She pressed a button on her death ray, popping a scope out from the top, “Lets see what we got here!”

She scanned the entire cavern, pin pointing each competitor. “Alright…looks like slimey and skeletor are having a fight. Cool I guess.” She turned around “big faceless guy…robo dude…can't find that giant meatball…or the satanist bloke.” She turned around once more “aaaannd there's spikey air boy.”

Diego shifted his eyes into Dr. Anarchy's direction, he heard…a childish description of himself, but it fit him.

“Now then…who do I kill first?”

Originally posted on MSPA by Knask.

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[background=#000000:2v3mzwpb]A stalactite fell down right next calm. Even though he apparently was in an different universe, misfortune was still upon him. Before starting to think about his situation, he had to get to safety. He quickly found a place where the ceiling was low, jumped up and grabbed a hold of some stalactites. He started to crawl around the ceiling, and found dark shadow where he could remain nearly invisible.


Calm was slightly surprised, and slightly confused. Why was he sent here? Yes, he understood they wanted him to fight the others. But why? Was this all a game, for the entertainment of it's viewers? Or did this fight, this tournament, serve a purpose beyond that? For the moment, Calm leaned towards the first theory; if the Cultivator, or whoever stood behind this game wanted to pick out the best fighter, they wouldn't organize it like this. Calm had already realized he could just hide in the shadows until the last opponent stood alone, tired and worn of the fight. It would be an easy kill. Still, who was the Cultivator? She was not a goddess, she didn't look like one, but somewhat more human. In addition, her powers greatly surpassed the ones of the gods he knew, and if she were one of them, she would have killed him long ago. If there existed a force beyond the gods, the Cultivator would be a part of it. And for some reason, this force had taken notice of Calm.

He wanted to find out more about the Cultivator, and he realised the only way to get her attention would be to participate in this, and wait for his chance.

Calm started to assess some of the others participating in this battle. Many of them weren't even human, and everyone of them seemed capable of doing serious damage. He had taken notice of this "Dr. Anarchy", as she called herself. She was definitively insane, and she seemed like someone who would enjoy chaos and destruction; to bad she would have to die. Calm often enjoyed seeing people as her make others suffer, and he often would give them a helping hand, of course without them knowing. He decided to spare her for later and keep a safe distance from her, as she probably would accelerate the killing in this fight.

No, Calm had already picked his target, this god of death; Ziirphael.
After all, after making people miserable, killing gods was Calm's speciality.
Calm continued crawling around the ceiling, but stayed in the shadows.[/background:2v3mzwpb]

Originally posted on MSPA by MyifanW.

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Diego frowned at what he had heard. First, he had heard, and even seen, a pillar of flames shoot up into the roof. Mentally, Diego made note never to approach Konka Rar. Second, it appeared that woman, Dr. Anarchy, knew where he was. Third, and most pressing, he could not find the meat monster. Then, he heard a small squelch, but not from a direction he would have liked. Uneasily, he glanced backwards into the cave.

"Please, oh please, don't be a meatball monster down there..."

Of course, Diego knew his tiny plea was worthless. Facts were facts. Listening further, the meat monster was definitely down there. Unhappily, Diego moved out of the cave, and walked around it, towards it's back. Hopefully, he could hide here for a decent amount of time... His attention shifted to Dr. Anarchy. She was most troubling, considering she knew where he was. If she had any way to judge abilities or strength, he'd undoubtedly on the lower end of that scale and an ideal target. Still, there was some hope here. She had asked, out loud, who she was going to kill. Diego considered what he knew about her. She seemed to be... insane, or at least somewhat of a fool. A slight whisper could hopefully direct her violence elsewhere...



In her own voice, Dr. Anarchy heard, almost inaudibly, a whisper that said only one thing: "the dead one." It was subtle enough that she did not question it's source, and assumed it was a thought of her own.

Diego hoped that would be enough, and resumed his meditative eavesdropping. He had whispered Konka Rar, because the undead cyborg had already shown itself to be extremely dangerous. With any luck, Dr. Anarchy would kill the corpse, and Diego would have one less troubling monster to worry about. Thinking about monsters, his thoughts drifted to the two utter nonhumans, Ekelhaft and Gormand. He had honestly no clue how he'd deal with them. Someone else would have to do the job... Diego had a sudden pang of regret, and wished he had whispered the blob's name instead. His thoughts then drifted to the realization that he was next to a corpse. The man seemed thoroughly dead, with an arrow lodged in his back. Diego wasn't a stranger to death, but he wasn't exactly used to rotting corpses. He held his nose, deciding to have as little to do with the body as possible. Then, an inclination overtook him, and he rescinded his previous determination and riffled through the man's belongings. Diego knew he had no chance against these people, and that he was desperate. Hopefully, this corpse would hold something, anything that could help him.

Diego sighed, as he examined his loot. Some sort of potion, and a few arrow heads. The potion looked like some sort of strong alcohol, blood red colored. Diego put it in his pouch, deciding to drink it later when he probably would be in despair. The arrowheads seemed fairly useless, however. Diego picked one up and threw it. It spun in the air and chiped against the rock walls. The idea of a throwing weapon was promising, but Diego acknowledged that he wasn't exactly a skilled blade thrower.

"... However, I've never been skilled at anything, really." He muttered to himself, an idea forming. "Everything I have achieved was due to creative air manipulation." Mentally, he created the airdrill on his forefinger. Then, he halved the size, and created another drill around his thumb. He smiled. "Yes... my power is not great, but it's uses are endless." He moved his fingers close together, the two drills spinning in opposite directions. With his other hand, he placed an arrowhead between these two rotations. The two drills pulled violently on it, and like a bullet, the arrowhead shot forward and lodged into the wall. Diego was fairly happy, now. With this, he had some way of defending himself. Even better, it was like everything else in his arsenal: silent, quick and deadly.

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

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SpoilerI'm surprised to so many walls of text this early in the game.

The flames burst from the ground, licking at Ekelhaft's gooey form and roaring as they stretched towards the ceiling. The ooze balled up, sinking all its eyes deep into its center and waiting for its aura to sap away the strength of the spell. Sure enough, the tower of fire became a column of sparks then a wisp of smoke much faster than Konka Rar expected; some of the magical entropy traced back to the caster, sapping his strength and licking at his mind. Ekelhaft slid forward again, teeth forming and sharpening as it went; it made something of a proto-mouth, gnashing and biting as it approached the lich.

Another blast of laserfire crackled towards the slime, but it was prepared this time, and split into two, which separated and continued to advance; facing both of them, Konka Rar realized he didn't have room to run past without getting within striking distance of toothy tentacles, and felt his magical power being suppressed more and more as his foe approached.

Ekelhaft, for its part, was... Worried wasn't the right word, but caution was beginning to dull the edge of its excitement and confidence. In the time that it had taken to quash the fire spell, it had felt itself boiling; rarely had it encountered a caster that was able to effect actual magic when Ekelhaft was around, and rarer still one that could actually damage him. It approached more slowly, waiting to see what else its enemy was capable of before going in for the kill.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Konka Rar cursed his luck, but he noticed the creature's advance slowing. He reasoned that he must have made it wary. The slime would soon reach him, but at least he had a few precious seconds to think.

He suddenly spotted something in the water. A corpse.

Well, it might serve as a distraction. The creature was limiting his magic as it drew nearer, but he was able to gather enough power for a basic necromancy spell.

"Arise, fallen soul! I am your master!"

Dark energies surrounded the corpse, which slowly got up and lurched out of the water. One half of Ekelhaft lunged at it, deciding the new entity might interfere; that was all the distraction Rar needed. He ran towards the other half and readied his laser; when he was close, he fired.

As he expected, it divided once more. But in doing so, it slowed itself down, focusing more on the division process than on attacking. It offered Konka Rar crucial seconds to run past, escaping towards Dr. Anarchy.


By this time, the half-sized blob had drained the zombie of the magic animating it. The corpse fell into the water, lifeless. Ignoring the now motionless body, Ekelhaft rejoined itself and resumed pursuit.

It was beginning to realize a problem. For eons, Ekelhaft had done nothing except slowly destroy itself. It was out of practice. Decisions that should have been easy to make diverted its attention for a few seconds; and those few seconds could cost it dearly in combat, as had just been made clear.

For now, it was still focused on its target. The lich was too dangerous to be left alone.

Originally posted on MSPA by slipsicle.

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To conserve power, Hoss limits himself to standard stereoscopic vision, as opposed to the full-sensory suite that he is accustomed to. His quicksilver eyes alight upon numerous reaction mass candidates on the ground in front of him, data-gathering subroutines analyzing their potential composition through complex pattern-recognition algorithms. Hoss continues towards the shore of his little island, and towards the most likely candidate for reaction mass: water.

As he does so, Hoss's higher thought processes occupy themselves on this "competition" he's been forced into.

The sentient slime holds no interest for Hoss; it is an alien, and therefore, inferior. The cyborg lich he considers only for the potential technological salvage he may gather from its inanimate corpse. The... flying meatball he quickly dismisses; the only data he considers relevant is an ancient entry in his vast encyclopedia, again pre-dating the Diaspora, to a satirical supernatural being that very closely resembled this floating noodle beast. The faceless Death God is also dismissed, only notable because of its humanoid appearance. Hoss files it away as a possible example of human superiority manifesting through the multiverse.

His brief analysis of the more obviously non-human competitors completed, Hoss turns his attention to the Cultivator. Again, he is surprised by the human similarities, and impressed by her obvious power (and, perhaps, slightly attracted). What he finds most interesting is that her methods of communication did not seem to use a specific language; her intentions were, instead, instantly understood by all parties. Hoss, himself, has integrated a universal translator into his vast cybernetic repertoire, but he has never heard of something which does the reverse.

His final priority, then, is to make contact with the Cultivator; with her trans-universal powers, he may have the opportunity to enact his new plans. Yet to do so, Hoss must survive this death match, which brings his thoughts back to Dr. Anarchy...

... Hoss's attention is brought back to his external pickups, to a green flare across the lake. His hampered ocular implants and currently underpowered aural sensors are not able to resolve the source with much clarity, but Hoss can guess. The irony of the mad scientist's current technological superiority is not lost on him; where Hoss was a mobile platform for the eons of technological infrastructure from his vast, universe-spanning Empire, the Doctor appears to use vastly inferior and, in the case of the chemical-combustion rocket, primitive technology. Yet she suffered no damage upon entering this reality, while Hoss nearly died, and was reduced to a fraction of his normal operating standards.

Hoss halts his ruminations, having reached the edge of the water. This, he decides, is the most optimal source of reaction mass. Specifically, He3.

Hoss removes the glove from his left hand, and raises his arm, reaching out over the surface of the water. A portal irises open at the base of his silver palm. A small cylinder slides out, and falls towards the murky depths.

He3, or Helium-3, is a rare and valuable isotope of Helium, and a natural decay product of Tritium. While naturally-occurring only in the most exotic of environments, it can be artificially manufactured from Deuterium Oxide, or 2H2O, also known as Heavy Water. Tritium can be created from Deuterium Oxide when the Deuterium captures a neutron. Deuterium Oxide was abundant in the oceans of ancient pre-Diaspora Earth, and Hoss assumes the same ratio of Deuterium Oxide to Di-hydrogen Monoxide is present in the lake before him. Therefore, in order to extract a usable amount of He3 from what must be a limited supply of reactionable material, Hoss requires an extremely powerful and dense neutron burst, to convert every available Deuteron into Tritium. Which, as it happens, is exactly what the device, now tumbling towards the water's surface, is about to do.

Neutron bursts are some of the most destructive forms of atomic warfare listed in Hoss's mental encyclopedia, and since he does not want to kill himself (his particle shields are permanently offline), he must rely on the natural shields his device generates during the neutron burst.

The cylinder activates millimeters away from its intended target. A zero-point energy sink, charged for emergencies like this one, releases a large portion of its reserves into the device's quantum circuitry. An elliptical, directed forcefield activates, swallowing as much water as possible without touching any of the scattered islands and other landmass. The device rockets towards the center of ovoid shell, and in a blaze of atomic glory, initiates the neutron burst.

Countless neutrons spray and ricochet throughout the forcefield's interior, wreaking untold havoc on a molecular level. Water molecules are ripped apart, the relatively few Deuterons fuse with every stray neutron they encounter, and instantly convert themselves into Tritium. Small explosions are visible beneath the eerily calm surface, as stray fission reactions annihilate themselves. A small computer within the device estimates that enough time has passed for a statistically average distribution of Deuterons to have been completely converted into Tritium. The forcefield instantly collapses in upon the device, condensing the water contained within to an impossibly small volume in an impossibly small period of time. Combined, these events force the rapid decay of all the collected Tritium into He3, which is then absorbed into the device, along with the remaining water. Outside the buzzing, immaterial shell, a massive tidal wave rushes towards the sudden void left from the forcefield's collapse; a rapidly shrinking oval turns into a pillar of water as its walls meet, and their kinetic energy is redirected. Hoss doubts the other contestants would miss this display.

The device, now containing a small amount of He3, rushes back to Hoss's outstretched hand. As the hole in his palm closes, Hoss allows the He3 to flow back into his body. The sudden injection of reaction mass allows him to run his fusion generator at higher levels, increasing its energy output to the rest of his systems. He activates his newmatter fabricators, allowing them to dismantle the remaining di-hydrogen monoxide brought back from the lake, increasing his supplies. He directs more power to his synthetic muscles, increasing their operation strength to 150% of their organic counterparts. He even allows himself the small satisfaction of reactivating one of his internal gyro-stabilizers, lending a bit more grace to his movements.

Hoss returns his focus to the opposite island, where a majority of his opponents appear to be located. Hoss steps into the water, gradually submerging himself, and begins to make his way across the bottom of the lake.

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SpoilerHolly hell, wall of text much? I promise my next post will be like, one paragraph. Maybe.

Originally posted on MSPA by Aryogaton.

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SpoilerWhoa, it looks like Fogel actually isn't doing so hot here.

But I don't want to see Konka Rar die! [img]images/smilies/aghast.gif[/img]

Originally posted on MSPA by Wojjan.

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SpoilerOh MAN you should have warned me about a deadline or so. I was actually working on my BEST character up to now.

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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"Dead guy aye?" Dr. Anarchy replied to her own voice, she turned to the direction Konka Rar was in, indeed he was coming towards her. "Heh. Good call Mr. Schizophrenic voice! Although you're a bit vague today, if I were a more cautious girl I would question the fact that I do not suffer from schizophrenia...but fuck that! I have a death ray!"
The Doctor took aim at the Lich "Taste lasers Cap'n Boney!" and fired.

Konka Rar reacted suitably, diving to the side infront of a group of stalagmites. Foolish Girl, she barely knows the intricities of the technology she wields. Lasers scattered in Knka Rar's position, breaking apart smaller stalamites with ease. In a gap between laser fire he retailiated with his own laser fire.

The laser struck the top of Dr. Anarchy's Stalagmite, making her jump. "BULLSHIT!" She shouted, shaking her rubber gloved fist "You can't use lasers! Thats my thing damn it!" She ducked as another laser flew dangerously close to her head, she had a height advantage but barely any cover "aaaaallllrighty time to bail. Like now!" She pushed a couple of buttons on her watch, another laser struck right next to the Doctors feet, causing her to trip and fall of the edge of her stalamite. "Ohgodthisisnotthebestpredicameeeeeennnt!!!"

She pushed a final button on her watch, activating the jets, she barely had enough time to pull up and avoid the deadly lava. "Ohho yeah! Go me! I rock! Anarchy rules! Skeleton boy drools!"

Konka Rar grimiced (as best as a skeleton can) in anger, but was quickly replaced with a look of confidence. With a simple flick of the wrist he brought about huge pillars of lava infront of Dr. Anarchy's flight path.

"Hahaha-OH SHI-" Dr. Anarchy swerved out of the way of the pillar, but more kept emerging "This is cheating! This is definitely cheating!" She kept swerving out the of the pillars, which kept emerging faster and faster. And then a huge dome of pure enegry exploded into view by the side. "oohh pretty!" While the Doctor was desitracted however she didn't pay attention to her flight path and crashed into a weak stalagtite, sending her swerving out of control.

She crashes into (thankfully solid) ground, sliding across the floor as her jet pack runs dry of its charge. She stands up bemused "Wait...I'm alive?!" She quickly looks around, to se eif anyones around. "I mean...Fool! Dr. Anarchy is invincible! Haahaha...ha...heh...SHUT UP IM AWESOME!" She shouts at no one.

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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SpoilerEdited my last post to make it clearer what I'm doing with Ekelhaft.

Originally posted on MSPA by slipsicle.

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SpoilerHey, so, who likes the idea of an IRC channel where we can plan and discuss... y'know, stuff?

PM's are cool and all, but this way we can all meet, if need be, to talk about Big Things.

#SavageBrawl on Esper? I'll just kinda hang out there.

*Edit: Actually, Cyber has created a channel for all the battles, #GrandBattle. Just go there instead.

Originally posted on MSPA by The Dr..

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SpoilerHow the hell did I not see this? I wanted to sign up [img]images/smilies/icon_sadder.gif[/img]

I'll...
Fuck me I'll never get to enter another Grand Battle ever again. I'll have no use from what I learned from Intense Struggle.

[img]images/smilies/mspa_reader.gif[/img]

Originally posted on MSPA by slipsicle.

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SpoilerHow the hell did I not see this? I wanted to sign up [img]images/smilies/icon_sadder.gif[/img]

I'll...
Fuck me I'll never get to enter another Grand Battle ever again. I'll have no use from what I learned from Intense Struggle.

[img]images/smilies/mspa_reader.gif[/img]

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SpoilerHey man, cheer up. This is pretty popular, so once the All-Stars are finished, maybe another group of eight Grand Battles will begin. And another, and another, until there are eight All-Stars to compete in an All-Stars-All-Stars! That's a shit-ton of chances!

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Konka Rar stared at his opponent for a moment before speaking.

"How pathetic."

"Wh-what?" Dr. Anarchy said, before speaking up. "I... I mean... TAKE THAT BACK, YOU BAG OF BONES!"

"If I were not already questioning the sanity of this contest's organizer, I would do so for selecting such an obviously inexperienced combatant. But that matters not. I am willing to show you a small degree of mercy. The blob creature - I believe our host called it 'Ekelhaft' - is most likely still pursuing me." He pointed behind him with his robotic arm, firing a laser as he did in hopes of catching it by surprise. "Aid me in driving it off, and I will spare your life, for now. You are hardly a threat to me, after all."

Dr. Anarchy responded by sticking out her tongue.

"As if, boneborg! I don't need your stinkin' help! Deal with Blobby yourself!"

"Very well. If I understand the words of this 'Cultivator' entity correctly, we will move to a new arena upon the death of a contestant. I bear you no personal grudge, but I need more time to formulate a strategy to eliminate my pursuer. As such..."

He raised his staff, and a bolt of lightning shot out from it, straight towards the young woman.

Originally posted on MSPA by Aryogaton.

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SpoilerHey man, cheer up. This is pretty popular, so once the All-Stars are finished, maybe another group of eight Grand Battles will begin. And another, and another, until there are eight All-Stars to compete in an All-Stars-All-Stars! That's a shit-ton of chances!

So out of 512 contestants, only 1 lives?

Jeez by the time we get to finish All-Stars All-Stars time travel would be invented.

Originally posted on MSPA by slipsicle.

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As Hoss trudges across the lakebed, navigating his way through the lightless deep, his thoughts wander. They dive through the eons of memories and experiences, back to a time before humanity had even glimpsed its role in the universe, before Hoss had formulated his Billion Year Plan, when his body was organic, and he was known by another name...

...a wild-haired youth sits in front of a flickering cathode-ray tube projection device, on a piece of furniture made from processed metal and animal products. Next to him, a short-haired, almost elfin female wears an expression of annoyance.

"I still don't see why it's so important," she says, attempting to bring the youth's attention back to her.

The youth's piercing blue eyes are glued to the screen, where a primitive collection of modules float in space, backdropped by a portion of a blue sphere. The youth answers, almost absent-mindedly.

"Because it is the first example of a permanent human presence in space. What's not to get?"

As if that were enough, the youth returns his focus to the ungainly white structure.

The female sighs, "That's just it. We don't need to go to space. We need to focus on Earth! Going to space is just... pointless. I don't get your fascination with it."

Confused, the blue-eyed youth turns to his companion.

"What? That's... you're not making any sense. Our presence in space is inevitable. It's humanity's destiny. The future doesn't care if you think it's pointless."

Visibly agitated, the female protests, "Well you don't have to be a jackass about it. Next time I just won't ask, then you wouldn't get to flaunt your precious "intelligence" like I know you love to do. And you can forget about satisfying your stupid hormones tonight; you're sleeping on the floor. Maybe then you'll actually try learning to be social."

The female stalks off, but the youth mentally dismisses her outburst. His attention is no longer focused on his (soon to be ex) girlfriend, nor on the images in front of him. They instead venture, tenderly, into the future. At first, just a few years, then decades, then generations...

This moment will never be recorded, but it is the most important moment in human history. For the first time, the boy who will be known as Hand of Silver begins to assemble the pieces of his Billion Year Plan.

Hoss brings himself out of his reverie as a tendril of light plays upon the ground before him. He is approaching the shore of the other island, where his fellow contestants currently reside. He looks up, and through the surface, can make out pulses of colored illumination. Hoss deduces that a fight is in progress. Judging by the prismatic display above, the participants must be using low-tech light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation devices; thoroughly inefficient, in terms of damage, but easy for pre-Singularity civilizations to develop. The only possible candidates, therefore, are the Doctor and the Lich. Hoss diverts a small amount of power to his kinetic barriers; while they are unable to fully function as shields until he can jump-start his heart, they are able to create a funneling effect in the water, which propels Hoss forwards and upwards.

-------

Konka Rar is pleased. The vastly inferior woman in front of him is in no position to dodge his lightning blast (how could she? It moves at the speed of light!), and he is fairly certain that there are no more little tricks she can whip out in time to block or otherwise negate his killing blow. A fine kill is upon him.

-------

Churning water angrily ejects a battle-ready Hoss, mere feet away from Konka Rar. Long-unused martial art protocols activate upon a quick assessment of the view before him: a puny, wild-eyed, fair-haired woman cringing before an undead cyborg monstrosity. An unknown weapon is pointed in her direction. The range is almost point-blank. If Hoss does not interfere, she will die.

Kinetic projectors in Hoss's back let loose a brief but powerful burst in a direction opposite to his intended line of travel. The sudden kick changes Hoss's direction in midair, severing his parabolic path and launching him towards his target. Hoss lands in between the Lich and the Doctor, synthetic left arm facing the aggressor. Limited on time, Hoss brings his left forearm up in an almost shield-bearing gesture. Panels scissor out from its sides, perpendicular to the weapon's line of fire, tearing through the sleeve of Hoss's overcoat. A faint hum can be heard as his sleeve is ripped to shreds by invisible claws.

In the same instant, Konka Rar discharges his lightning bolt.

The supercharged plasma careens off of Hoss's desperate and energy-sapping forcefield, instantly overloading its generators. Hoss is already moving, using the excess kinetic energy from his descent to roll forwards. As his hands touch the ground, he pushes off towards a nearby stalagmite, feet deftly positioning themselves for a quick ricochet. One foot lands on the stalagmite's side before the other, performing a quick walking motion in order to gain some height. As Hoss pushes off, he is now positioned slightly above the undead Cyborg's head. Hoss brings his feet under him, angling his knees forwards to serve as a striking surface, raising his arms above his head for stabilization and later leverage. With a sound that would have been sickening had it not hit a corpse, Konka Rar gets a face-full of Hoss's structurally-enhanced kneecaps.

Konka Rar falls backwards, and Hoss falls with him, already positioning his limbs for the final phase of his attack. As the duo topple, Hoss takes advantage the speed differentials between his upper and lower body and diverts some of his torso's momentum downwards, moving him into a backwards-flip position. He extends his legs so that each shin finds itself underneath the Lich's armpits. When the pair touch ground, Hoss has extended his body into a reverse crescent; hands on the ground at Konka Rar's feet, legs grabbing an undead torso. Using his single activated gyroscope to change his center of gravity, Hoss swings his body around, keeping one hand on the ground, dragging Konka Rar with him. One balletic spin later, and Konka Rar is flying towards the lake.

As the lich's body splashes unceremoniously through the lake's opaque surface, Hoss rights himself, deactivating the one lone gyroscope to conserve energy reserves drained during his defense of the mad scientist. Still dripping from his trek through the lake, he turns towards the young woman, who wears an expression of crazed defiance.

"Ya idjit! I had'im! Yeah sure, you're all 'oooh lookit me, I'm a fancy-shmancy dude that runs around saving chicks!' Well guess what, I have a freakin' LASER GUN, and around here, IT does the saving... well, actually not much saving, more like killing, BUT STILL! I don't need an overdressed freak like you to dispose of... hey you didn't even kill him! I COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB YOU SUCK!"

Hoss's translation centers recognize the language; an extinct dialect belonging to pre-Singularity humanity. Newmatter fabricators, now with something to work with, manufacture artificial vocal chords, a bodypart Hoss had not used in eons. Hoss begins to speak, his first word mangled with a metallic echo as he works through the kinks in his newly-formed voice.

"EEEEEEEEEEERRRRRWWWWWwwWwweee need to talk."

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Spoilerohgodohgod why do i write so much

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

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SpoilerWhen All-Stars comes around, I'll probably end up starting another one for new people during that. Or maybe I'll end up starting Season 2 slightly earlier. Depends on what happens. I'll talk to some folk about it. One thing I do know is that during Season 2, people who didn't get a chance to host this season but wanted to have first dibs. So, like, Aryogaton, for example.

But it won't start at least until half of these are done, if it were to start early.

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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"Talk?!" Dr. Anarchy said, almost insulted by the elongated statement. "This is no time for talking! There are giant slimes and meatballs afoot! I can't waste time talking to my technical enemies!" she pondered again, switching from emotion to emotion hyperactively. "Then again you kinda saved me...Oh and that was completely a completely pointless act by the way! I had that situation completely under control!" She lied and continued.

"That's some pretty cool tech though. I mean, obviously not cool as mine, thats a given, i'm Dr. Anarchy! But technology wise its pretty damn advanced! Then again skeletor had some pretty cool tech on him aswell...ARGH! Why did I have to placed into a fight with MULTIDIMENTIONAL people! Stupid god...damn...demi gods...stupid" She noticed Hoss again after her rant. "Oh yeah you again. weeell I suppose I can make an exception and talk. with you Mr. Robot, but you better be at the very least interesting! I swear to god if everyone in this compettion is like, deadly serious I will laser EVERYTHING!"

Originally posted on MSPA by slipsicle.

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Hoss considers his position carefully; this woman is not quite sane. During the her chatter, Hoss's pattern-recognition algorithms carefully recorded her speech habits, providing Hoss with an accurate template of slang that would affect some empathy from his target.

"The way I see it, you and I only the only truly normal people here. Emphasis on people. We're not undead robots, flying meatballs, or all that other weird crap. We're human, you and I. Exceptionally intelligent humans. With really awesome tech. Yours seems to be in better working order at the moment, so I suggest we... team up, at least for a while. I have some experience at operating behind the scenes; I'll help to maneuver whatever target you choose into a weak position, and then you can blast it into very tiny pieces. How's that sound, for a start?"

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SpoilerI'm going to bed, so I won't be able to post for a bit.

Originally posted on MSPA by Ixcalibur.

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Ziirphael climbed to his feet and made his way across the rocky cavern. He considered the nature of the contest, his competitors would have to die if he wanted to live. Therein lay a problem; Ziir was uncertain whether or not he wanted to live. He had lived for a long long time, moving from one human host to the next. When a body died he was just ejected from it, free to carry on living. He'd never considered the possibility that death might be an option for him before. He'd spent years living a normal life, like a normal person might. While it had been better than his old life that he had long since grown tired of, the difference had been marginal. He wondered whether that was really something worth fighting for.

Ziir found himself approaching the mouth of a cave, as a spiky haired man, fled from it's entrance around to it's back. This was the one that 'The Cultivator' had referred to as Diego Red. Ziir watched him for a minute or so, before walking on to the cave entrance. A set of steps descended underground in front of him encrusted with old red blood. Ziir paused in his progress, bent down and placed a finger into the blood. Some of it was still usable. He daubed a rune on his left palm and after a second his arm began to change. His hand folding in on itself and replacing with a shaft of bone, protruding at an angle from his arm. After a second the bone set alight with a blood red flame; making a passable torch. Ziir straightened up, and descended the steps, his flame the only thing illuminating the deep darkness.

Originally posted on MSPA by Lankie.

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"Barely." Dr. Anarchy quiped, "I mean, you've pretty much mechanised your entire body! More macine than human...Then again I guess you was more human-y before this I guess?"

[background=Silver:1h2b2bsb]"Millions of years ago, yes."[/background:1h2b2bsb]

"Christ your old! Well err...I guess your technically the most human here, except for me of course, yea I don't need no magic powers or be an ancient death god or whatever! Im Dr. Anarchy! Im awesome!"

[background=Silver:1h2b2bsb]"...Quite."[/background:1h2b2bsb]

"Anyways...a team up aye? I spose it makes sense, you don't seem that dull, not to mention, go humanity! Woop!" The doctor reaches into her back pack and grabs a juice box, she begins drinking it. "So in a roundabout way what i'm trying to say is ok to this little truce. Just keep in mind if I get bored then i'm leaving...Oh and I might betray you, I havn't quite decided yet." She pauses to see Ekelhaft come into view, right behind Hoss. "You might want to move outta way."

[background=Silver:1h2b2bsb]Hoss spins his head around to see the monstrous blob behind him, he dashes out of the way, revealing Dr. Anarchy pointing her Death ray at the viscous thing.[/background:1h2b2bsb]

"Sup!" There was small tingle in the back of Dr. Anarchy's head, probably the feeling of her sanity self destructing at the sight of Ekelhaft. Meh, she didn't need it anyway. "If your looking for robo-jerk" She turned her head towards Hoss, "no offence, well he went sailing that-a-way." she pointed towards the lake Konka Rar landed into. "Unless you wanna pick a fight with me, then i'd be happy to oblige! She smilled cheerly."

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

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Konka Rar slowly crawled out of the lake. He cursed his luck as he examined his mechanical arm.

Shorted out. Wonderful. At least I've gained some distance on that blob.

He looked around to see if any other competitors were nearby, ready to take advantage of his temporary weakness. Fortunately, there were none, at least for the moment. The arm was well-designed, and would not suffer permanent damage from being immersed in water; but it would be unusable for some time, and he certainly didn't need the handicap.

He decided to take the time to reflect on the words of the Cultivator.

First of all, given that she said a creation of mine was entered in a similar contest... that explains where Eximo went. I can't imagine why, but I'm not missing any other minions.

He looked around and found a corpse impaled on a stalagmite. He prepared a spell to animate it as he continued thinking.

As to the contestants... I have already encountered three. I must find some way to neutralize Ekelhaft as soon as possible, as it seems to be seeking me out. Dr. Anarchy is a fool, but the technology she possesses is quite potent. I should be cautious around her, but overall she poses little threat.

The corpse rose, with the stalagmite still in its chest. Konka Rar was momentarily surprised to see that it had the same face as the other corpse he had raised. Twin brothers, perhaps?

"Patrol this area. Warn me if anyone, or anything, draws near."

The zombie obediently nodded, and began wandering. Konka Rar went back to his thoughts.

Then there is the one called Hoss. His technology is clearly more advanced than mine, yet he fought me off with physical moves. Surely he had something more lethal? I doubt he is opposed to killing, given what the Cultivator said about us all lacking in morals... I should learn more.

That brings me to the ones I have not yet encountered. Calm has made a deal with the devil - that suggests he has abilities beyond that knife which generates intense heat. That may be useful against the blob, actually - it seemed to grow more cautious after I burned it. Perhaps the knife will be strong enough to harm it. I should seek an alliance with Calm, or at least draw his attention towards Ekelhaft.

Ziirphael. A god of death, with shapeshifting abilities. How versatile are they, I wonder? The Cultivator said he could change his arms into weaponry, but could he be concealing himself at this moment? My servant will not be intelligent enough to notice him, but then again, if he is concealing himself, he will likely not give away his position by attacking a weak underling.

Diego Red. A master of air magic. On the surface, it sounds as though I have little to fear from him; I am resistant to most magic, other than holy power. How fortunate for me that the Cultivator did not summon any power-mad priests. But back to Diego - I should be cautious around him until I can learn more about what he is capable of.

Finally, Gormand. A creature made out of food... absurd, but I have faced countless absurdities in my own world. I wonder if this 'virus' the Cultivator mentioned would affect me? I am, after all, merely bone and metal... And would it affect Ekelhaft, for that matter? This is worth investigation. I shall seek him out first.

At that moment, there was a loud crash, followed be a shriek of "Hrungh!" in the distance. The zombie had found someone.

Konka Rar headed in the direction of the noise. A stalactite had fallen from the ceiling; the zombie was staring at a figure up above nearby. The lich's enhanced eye was not working yet, but he could still see enough of the figure to recognize it as the contestant Calm.

How convenient.

"Greetings, Calm. Would you mind terribly coming down from there? I have something to discuss with you."