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Dragon Fogel · 06-05-2009, 06:37 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

Crowstone Wrote:>Wear that as a hat, and the key as a cape

Now that sounds pointless!

[Image: command11b.png]

Wait, what's going on?

[Image: command11c.png]

The fake amulet has transformed into a helmet, and the key has transformed into a cape? This isn't as pointless as you thought!

[Image: command11d.png]

They still show up as the regular items on the inventory screen, though. You do not find this odd in the slightest, because you have plenty of reasons to find it strange.

[Image: command11e.png]

In any case, your Point Meter has gone up by 1.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Offer the Fake Amulet to Thoth.

You have no idea who Thoth is.

[Image: command11g.png]

So it's pointless to make an offering to him/her/it!

[Image: command11h.png]

You remove the helmet, which turns it back into a Fake Inflatable Amulet of Pomposity. You offer it to Thoth, whoever that is.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Wizard of Yendor: Attack Nopor Puss.

Somebody has taken notice of your pointless antics.

[Image: command11j.png]

The mysterious figure attacks! For no reason at all, you think it must be the Wizard of Yendor. You aren't even sure if such a place exists, so it's even more pointless to think that.

[Image: command11k.png]

A battle has begun!

SleepingOrange · 06-05-2009, 06:41 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

Hmm... You're at full health and probably have initiative...

>Use a potion!

Crowstone · 06-05-2009, 06:47 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

>flee out of battle by running past the wsizsrd

Dragon Fogel · 06-07-2009, 08:53 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SleepingOrange Wrote:Hmm... You're at full health and probably have initiative...

>Use a potion!

You use a potion at full health, so you get no benefit from it! How pointless!

[Image: command12b.png]

The wizard, undeterred by your pointlessness, casts a fire spell on you. But it's negated! Your cape apparently nulls fire, since it's actually a fireproof key. No wonder your Point Meter went up after the transformation!

Crowstone Wrote:>flee out of battle by running past the wsizsrd

Well, since you null at least one of the wizard's attacks, it seems you have the upper hand. So there's no need to flee, and that's what you'll do! And if you're running away, it's pointless to move *closer* to the enemy...

[Image: command12d.png]

It seems you moved *too* close. You bump into the wizard and damage him. The impact stuns him, as well.

[Image: command12e.png]

However, you didn't get out of that unscathed, and you're stunned, so it was a rather pointless way of dealing damage. Hopefully this will keep your Point Meter from going up!

[Image: command12f.png]

The wizard loses a turn recovering from stun.

[Image: command12g.png]

So do you, however, making it rather pointless to have stunned him that way in the first place.

[Image: command12h.png]

It seems that the wizard isn't taking any chances! He prepares a powerful spell! What will your next move be?

SleepingOrange · 06-07-2009, 08:55 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

>Take off the cape and helm, then stand there, staring pointlessly

Crowstone · 06-07-2009, 09:14 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

>Urinate in his face

**OTTO** · 06-07-2009, 09:22 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Kgummy.

Chew on Yendor?'s cape.

Dragon Fogel · 06-07-2009, 09:42 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Take off the cape and helm, then stand there, staring pointlessly

Well, you're only wearing the cape. So you'll have to spend a turn putting the helmet back on before you can take it off!

[Image: command13b.png]

Wait... What? It seems you may have done something non-pointless!

[Image: command13c.png]

The wizard unleashes his spell!

[Image: command13d.png]

But the power of your helmet reflects it back, causing severe damage to the wizard!

[Image: command13e.png]

The wizard is destroyed by his own spell! Oh, great, now you've gone and done something useful.

[Image: command13f.png]

You level up. Of course, you don't get any stat boosts or new abilities, so leveling up is pointless for you!

[Image: command13g.png]

It seems the wizard has left behind a strange crystal.

[Image: command13h.png]

But never mind that! You've still got to take off your helmet and cape!

[Image: command13i.png]

Defeating the wizard has raised your Point Meter by 5.

Crowstone Wrote:>Urinate in his face

It's much more pointless to just hold it in. Besides, you want to get this adventure rated M without doing anything remotely controversial.

Kgummy Wrote:Chew on Yendor?'s cape.

You can't find any traces of his cape! You chew on it anyway.

SleepingOrange · 06-07-2009, 09:44 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

>Drop the strange crystal, key, and amulet down one of those holes.

Crowstone · 06-07-2009, 09:47 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Crowstone.

>Crawl around in circles

Nopad · 06-08-2009, 02:40 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by Nopad.

Attempt to go back in time in order to hug the wizard.

**OTTO** · 06-09-2009, 03:27 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by Kgummy.

Swallow fake amulet.

Level down.

**Schazer** · 06-09-2009, 06:56 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by Schazer.

Play a haunting refrain on the strange crystal.

**OTTO** · 06-10-2009, 09:25 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Kgummy.

Eat strange crystal.

**OTTO** · 06-11-2009, 07:05 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by CabbageHat.

> Place all of your belongings in the chest and curl into a ball nearby.

Dragon Fogel · 06-13-2009, 01:44 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Drop the strange crystal, key, and amulet down one of those holes.

You reason that these items could all potentially be useful, so it would be pointless to dispose of them.

[Image: command14b.png]

So that's what you do!

Crowstone Wrote:>Crawl around in circles

You spend several hours doing this, because of how pointless it is. And you are most definitely crawling, not just facing upwards because somebody has no idea how to make a decent crawling sprite.

Nopad Wrote:Attempt to go back in time in order to hug the wizard.

You're pretty sure it's impossible to travel back in time, and it's definitely impossible with anything you have on hand. So you'll have to give it a try!

[Image: command14e.png]

After you inevitably fail, you attempt to hug the wizard anyways. Again, you are not simply facing upwards as an inferior alternative to editing a sprite to show a more detailed action.

Kgummy Wrote:Swallow fake amulet.

You threw it down the hole.

[Image: command14f.png]

So you'll have to jump down after it!

[Image: command14g.png]

You are now in some sort of ornate, but still hellish, throne room. For no reason at all, you conclude it belongs to the janitor.

[Image: command14h.png]

There's the amulet! Now it's time to swallow it!

[Image: command14h.png]

Your attempt to turn the fake amulet into a swallow fails completely. Just as you had hoped!

Kgummy Wrote:Level down.

You level down. Your stats are unchanged.

Schazer Wrote:Play a haunting refrain on the strange crystal.

You use your incredible musical talents to perform a haunting drum solo using only the crystal and your bare hands.

[Image: command14k.png]

You put the crystal back afterwards. Hopefully nobody was around to hear that. You want your talents to go to waste!

Kgummy Wrote:Eat strange crystal.

Well, you can't see any reason to, so you do.

[Image: command14l.png]

But before you can get it to your mouth, something happens.

[Image: command14m.png]

The crystal has vanished, and you have gained new skills. Well, that's not as pointless as you hoped. You resolve to only use your new skills for pointlessness.

[Image: command14n.png]

However, your Point Meter considers this action worth 2 points. You've gotten over 10 points. As a penalty, your attack power goes up by 20. Drat!

CabbageHat Wrote:> Place all of your belongings in the chest and curl into a ball nearby.

The chest isn't down here.

[Image: command14p.png]

However, it seems that strange crystal has granted you the ability to fly.

[Image: command14q.png]

You fly out of the pit.

[Image: command14r.png]

Then you push the chest down the hole.

[Image: command14f.png]

You jump down the pit again.

[Image: command14s.png]

You put the key and fake amulet in the chest.

[Image: command14t.png]

Then you make an unnecessary flight back up to get the cards, since you could have just put them in the chest before dropping it.

[Image: command14s.png]

After a pointless game of 52-Pick Up, you put the cards in the chest. Then you reason that you belong to yourself, too.

[Image: command14u.png]

You get in the chest, close it, and lock it from the inside. Then you curl into a ball inside the chest. This is definitely not another spriting cop-out.

[Image: command14v.png]

And just as you finish doing that, somebody enters the room. It must be the janitor!

[Image: command14w.png]

Well, now that there's somebody here, you'd better draw attention to yourself somehow. Otherwise, you'll have successfully hidden yourself, and that would have a point!

**OTTO** · 06-13-2009, 02:07 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Kgummy.

But then they would know where to get the items, thus making noise would have a point. Remedy this by eating all the items in the chest before making noise.

SleepingOrange · 06-13-2009, 02:47 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

>Attempt to fly out of the chest. Without opening it.

Dragon Fogel · 06-13-2009, 03:21 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

Kgummy Wrote:But then they would know where to get the items, thus making noise would have a point. Remedy this by eating all the items in the chest before making noise.

Since you are currently curled into a ball and there is very little room to move, it would be extremely difficult to eat anything.

[Image: command15a.png]

Making it pointless to do so!

[Image: command15b.png]

Your attempt fires the key. The bullet just hits the inside of the chest, but it makes a loud noise. The janitor takes notice.

[Image: command15c.png]

"Wait. Where did this chest come from? And what was that noise?"

[Image: command15d.png]

"...It's locked. Is a damned soul playing some kind of prank on me? They've got some nerve messing with Satan, the Lord of Hell!"

[Image: command15e.png]

Satan, the Janitor-Lord of Hell, loses interest in the chest and turns to leave. You'd better do something, if he doesn't get mad at you this might be less pointless than you'd hoped!

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Attempt to fly out of the chest. Without opening it.

Now that sounds pointless! It should be hard to control your flight path while curled into a ball and with the chest limiting where you can move your wings!

[Image: command15g.png]

You were right! Your erratic flying causes you to collide with Satan.

[Image: command15h.png]

The impact opens the chest.

[Image: command15i.png]

Satan is pretty mad at you now.

[Image: command15j.png]

"I don't know who you are, but I do NOT take kindly to being hit in the head with a chest!"

[Image: command15k.png]

A battle has begun!

SleepingOrange · 06-13-2009, 03:23 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

>Take off any clothes, armor, weapons, and accessories you may be wearing, but do not put any more on before removing them.

Dragon Fogel · 06-13-2009, 03:33 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Take off any clothes, armor, weapons, and accessories you may be wearing, but do not put any more on before removing them.

You strip down naked. You don't retract your wings first, just to make it pointlessly complicated to do so. Satan is taken aback and loses his turn.

SleepingOrange · 06-13-2009, 03:35 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.

>Bombard Satan with healing potions

Dragon Fogel · 06-13-2009, 04:09 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SleepingOrange Wrote:>Bombard Satan with healing potions

You're pretty sure a Janitor-Lord of Hell doesn't qualify as undead, so healing him won't deal damage. You're proven right!

[Image: command17b.png]

Satan thinks about your actions, and comes to a conclusion he's not happy with.

[Image: command17c.png]

Satan makes a tactical retreat.

[Image: command17d.png]

You quickly get dressed during the battle transition, in order to give Satan time to escape and to avoid appearing naked on-camera, so that your desired M rating will be pointless. Of course, you leave your wings out to make this more complicated.

[Image: command17e.png]

Scaring Satan off has raised your Point Meter by 1.

**OTTO** · 06-13-2009, 04:27 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by pimpmastaflex.

Sit in the janitors throne and claim yourself to be the new janitor of Hell!

Dragon Fogel · 06-13-2009, 04:37 PM

Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SpoilerShow

pimpmastaflex Wrote:Sit in the janitors throne and claim yourself to be the new janitor of Hell!

Now that you have chased off the janitor, you can claim his throne! You are now Hell's janitor. (And possibly also France's.) You decide to make a big mess, get fired, and then clean the mess up. But where will you start?